The Attraction

Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

HARPER

W aking every morning to Forrest’s scent around me should unnerve me, but it doesn’t; it does the complete opposite.

Last night I cried myself to sleep after Felisha brought up thoughts I was trying to ignore. But I was so tired that they just flooded out, and although I was miserable at the time, this morning I feel so much more at peace than I did when I was falling asleep.

I know it’s not healthy, but I’m ignoring what Forrest said last night. This morning, I need to just carry on as normal.

It gives me an idea of what he was doing for the last six months every time I flirted with him. He would ignore me, and then the next time we met up, it was as if it never happened. Which just made it more of a challenge. Looking back, that really was bad form from me, but he never exactly told me to back off. He just didn’t take me up on the offer, so that’s how I justified it in my own mind.

I head to the gym down the hallway, where I can hear his music coming from, but I have to be brave and just suck it up, walk in, and get on the treadmill. If I want to keep eating these five-star meals every night, then I need to be running them off the next morning. Because Forrest’s suggestion of being naked because my clothes don’t fit anymore is just not happening.

“Morning,” I call in my sweetest voice to him.

I try not to salivate at him with a muscle shirt on, sitting on the weight bench, lifting a huge weight with his right arm. His face is scrunched up like he is straining, and the perspiration running down his skin tells me he has been at this for a while.

“Morning,” he grunts back at me, and I don’t wait for any big conversation once he is finished. Starting the treadmill, I pop in my earphones and press play on the next episode of my podcast. Not that I think anything can top the last episode of the great avocado incident, but hey, never say never.

Looking straight ahead doesn’t help me ignore him when there is a big mirror taking up the whole wall in front of both of us.

“Today we are talking about the most embarrassing things that have happened to you while having sex or making out. You know, like when you’ve come so hard you have almost shat yourself on his sheets. And when we put the call out yesterday on social media, you guys came up with so many stories it was hard to narrow them down, but I’m sure you are going to love these.”

My mind is already running with some of the embarrassing things I’ve done, but nothing podcast worthy, I’m sure. I tried not to laugh out loud the moment she mentioned the word shat. I’m not sharing my listening pleasure with Forrest again.

“First, we have Lolita, and don’t worry, we have changed everyone’s names, otherwise no one would ever share the good shit. So, Lolita, let’s share.”

As she starts talking, I can’t help stealing another quick look to the side in the mirror. Forrest has swapped arms, and it’s the one closest to me now. Oh, lordy, who invented shirts that have no sleeves and that have arm holes big enough that you can see every part of the chest? I bet the jerk wore it deliberately because I told him he had to wear a shirt. Well, this is as if he told me I had to wear pants, so I paraded around the place in a G-string. Technically they are pants.

Seeing the corner of his mouth lift up, I know he has spotted me checking him out, and he’s happy that I’m having trouble ignoring him. Trying to concentrate on the words in my ears is hard right now but necessary if I’m going to survive this workout session.

“Firstly, can I say this happened with my boyfriend at the time who is now my husband, but we still laugh about it to this day. It was about five years ago, and he was going to town feasting on me down there, something we were just getting into, and he asked my permission to lick up between my ass cheeks. I hadn’t ever had anyone do that before, and it kind of sounded exciting, so I nodded my head. He told me to pull my legs back, and the first time his tongue touched there, my whole body nearly jumped off the bed with the sensation of being so naughty. So, he reached up and put his hand on my stomach to hold me still, apparently so I could lean into the sensation and really feel it. Oh, I felt it all right, the pressure on my stomach was not a good idea. The moment he tongued me again, I pushed against his hand and farted the biggest fart ever, straight into his mouth.”

“Ughh, I would’ve died.” The words slip out of my mouth before I realize it.

“And not like any little lady fart, but you know, like one any guy would be proud of. Let’s just say the moment was lost as he rushed to the bathroom to wash his mouth out, and I was so mortified I crawled under the covers and wouldn’t come out. But we got over it and just giggle every time he is about to do it now.”

I continue to listen as Forrest shakes his head at me and starts laughing. But I’m not stopping, I just pick up speed and keep listening. There are a few incredibly good, but oh so bad, stories before the topic changes to talking about tomorrow’s focus of things your partner does that piss you off. Oh, I could add a few things to that list, and he’s not even my partner.

Looking at my watch, I see I need to wind down and go shower so I don’t make Forrest late for work. Not that I ask him to wait for me, but he does.

I want to wait until he finishes his workout, but I’m running out of time, so face up to the fact I have to just talk to him.

The moment I come to a stop, I pull my earphones out and turn to him. “I’ll just shower and then will be ready whenever you are.”

“No rush, I don’t have to be in early this morning.” Great, an excuse that I can get out of here early and skip the breakfast conversation.

“No problems, I do, so I’ll just head off as soon as I’m done, and I will grab breakfast at the office. Oh, and I’m having lunch with my mother and sisters today and then kicking on with my sisters after Mum leaves, basically so we can talk about her or about the things that we definitely do no not want to share with our mother.” I grab a towel and wipe down the machine, and Forrest is doing the same with the weight bench.

“I get it. But just a reminder of that dinner with my parents that my mum kindly invited herself to when Flynn mentioned you were staying with me. It’s tomorrow night, and Flynn’s cooking. So don’t insult him when you taste it and realize mine is better.” He winks at me. Taking the towel out of my hand, he throws them into the basket in the corner to be washed. “You don’t need to do anything, and I understand if you want to bail on us, but Felisha will be here, and I know my mother would really love for you to join us. I just apologize in advance for all the questions she will pepper you with. If it gets too much, just do what I do and handball it in Flynn’s direction. It’s my mother’s favorite thing to do, talk to the golden son.”

I want to say that I’m busy, but he is looking at me so hopeful that I will be here.

“Sure, your mum and dad are sweet, and someone has to be here to be the neutral person when you and your brother try to outdo each other with bad jokes. Oh God, you don’t get them from your father, do you? Will I have to listen to three of you trying to be the comedians?” I roll my eyes at him, but also, part of me is looking forward to watching him interacting with his family in his home.

After what he told me last night, I can’t help but ask the question. “Why are you letting Flynn cook? I can help you if you want to do it.”

He shakes his head. “Thanks, but it’s just easier to let the golden boy do it. It’s what they expect. Plus, it’s his punishment for trying to make Mum believe I…” He cuts off.

“Believe what?” I ask.

“Doesn’t matter. Anyway, you better move if you have an early meeting. Starting the day on the back foot makes everything compound, and you don’t want to be running late so you run over into lunchtime with your mother.”

“True.” We both head to our bedrooms, and as I approach my door, he casually asks me as he keeps walking toward his room, “Sleep well last night?”

“Sure did. And you?” I reply out of courtesy.

“Mhmmm,” he says as he slips into his room, and I close my door, thinking that his question is a bit weird since we had been talking for a while in the gym. Oh, crap, I hope he didn’t hear me crying myself to sleep. Surely not, otherwise he would have said something.

* * *

The morning goes quickly, and I’m in the taxi on the way to The Ritz for lunch and going over in my head things to talk about so I don’t look stressed or worried about anything. I don’t want them to know anything about Chester or that something to do with Dad has resurfaced after all this time. My mum is living her best life now and deserves to stay that way. I’ll handle this on my own, that’s what I’ve always done. Put my family first.

I end up being fifteen minutes late, and when I finally walk in, my sisters both give me the glare of thanks for leaving them alone with Mum for all this time.

“Here is my last beautiful girl. Harper, sweetheart, how are you?” She tilts her cheek toward me as I lean down to give her a kiss and then go to both my sisters and do the same.

“Doing great, Mum, how about you?” And if there is one thing mothers like to do, it’s talk about who in their friend group is sick, getting a grandchild, has a child getting married, or sadly, which friend has died. Every person she mentions is always with the added clause of “ you know she lived down the street when you were five,” or “remember she used to deliver the groceries to us.” Obscure things, but all three of us just sit here nodding and listening intently like we know exactly who she is talking about.

And then we start around the table with her favorite questions, especially for Rachel and me, being single, “Are there any boyfriends on the horizon?” Amanda gets the other ones, “How is Stephen, and any wedding bells on the horizon?” Which has gotten worse since Felisha got engaged, because Mum sees her best friend Ivy getting to plan a wedding. Well, let’s just say plan her outfit for a wedding, because Felisha and I are keeping her right away from the plans because we don’t want it to be some big socialite event of the season. Ivy might, but it’s just not Felisha’s style, thank goodness.

By the time we have finished eating and had a few champagnes, Oliver is here and ready to pick up my mother to escort her home. He is a sweetheart, and I’m so happy she found him.

“Right, now she’s gone, so let’s move to the bar and we can really catch up.” Rachel is up and already walking out of the restaurant, and Amanda looks at the bill sitting on the table.

“Don’t worry, Sis, I’ve got it. She does it every time.” Although Amanda has a good job, she doesn’t make anywhere near the money I do. I would feel guilty for making her pay half of the lunch bill. She tries to object, but of course I ignore that, whereas Rachel has no problem with letting her big sister pay. Actually, to be honest, she just assumes I will pay every time.

By the time I walk into the bar area, my sisters are sitting at a table, and there are three margaritas being placed in front of them.

“You didn’t waste any time.” Taking my seat, I grab my glass as we all lift them and clink them together.

“Right, now let’s really talk. What’s happening with you two?” Rachel sits back, her margarita in her hand and looking at both of us.

I want to reply with the words, “So much that you wouldn’t believe it,” but I don’t.

My family doesn’t even know I’ve moved in with Forrest, and of course, they don’t know about the resurgence of the shit involving Dad. So, I just sit here and look to Amanda, hoping she will start talking, and by the way she is bouncing in her seat, I can tell she has something to share.

“I couldn’t wait to see you both. And there was no way I was saying this in front of Mum, but I was putting the washing away two nights ago and I found a ring box at the back of Stephen’s sock drawer, wrapped inside a pair of socks he never wears. A big, beautiful, solitaire diamond ring.” She is almost jumping out of her skin in excitement and so are we for her.

“Holy shit, Sis!” Rachel jumps up to hug her.

“Oh, Amanda, I’m so happy for you.” I watch little tears streak down her cheeks as I reach over to hug her quickly too. I can’t not hug her at such an important time of her life.

“Wait, why were you at the back of the sock drawer looking inside a pair of socks he never wears?” I’m already laughing at her. “You were snooping, weren’t you?” I point at her like she’s in trouble. “You ruined your own surprise because you were nosy. Oh man, it’s always the quiet ones you need to watch.”

“Yeah, remember when I got blamed for finding the Christmas presents after Mum found me sitting on the floor playing with my new baby doll? But it was this one,” Rachel says, pointing at Amanda who is already laughing and lifting her glass up to signify you’re welcome to Rachel. “I couldn’t have even reached the cupboard they were in, and I was only four years old. But of course, Mum didn’t even think to ask precious book-nerd Amanda because she would never do that.”

I laugh. “That’s how she got away with everything, had her nose stuck in a book and looked so innocent, but we both know better. If Mum only knew half the things she was reading, she would have locked her up in the attic to save her precious daughter from reading such dirty words. You have a little wild streak on the inside, don’t you?” I quiz her as I sip on my margarita, which I must say packs a punch, and it’s exactly what I need today.

“I call dibs on planning her hen’s party. I’m getting strippers, those dick straws, the whole works. Oh, and those dick candy necklaces too.” Rachel picks up her phone to make notes.

“No, you’re not. I’m just having a nice quiet dinner. What you just said is so not me.” Amanda looks horrified at what Rachel is planning.

“Whoa, how about we wait until she actually has that ring on her finger? And don’t worry, Rachel, we now know exactly what sort of bachelorette party you’ll want when your time comes,” I say, waiting for the reaction, and yep, here it comes.

“There is no way in hell I’m getting married before I’m forty at least, and to be honest, I’ll probably just live in sin and skip the paperwork and the crap that goes with it. The only piece of paper I’ll be signing will be a pre-nuptial agreement because no guy is getting his hands on what I’ve worked hard for or leave me with nothing like that douchebag father of ours did to Mum.” The disgust on her face at both the prospect of settling down and the memory of our father, I feel it to my core too, but I can’t press my opinions on her too. Sometimes I think she is the way she is because she has grown up watching and listening to my anti-man thoughts and she is following me without actually realizing it.

“You’re still so young, there is plenty of time to find a good man like Amanda has. They are out there, you just have to look for them,” I say, thinking of Forrest who has shown me every day that as much as I don’t want to, he is there for me to lean on and has given me a safe place.

But my greatest fear is what happens when he walks away, because that’s what happens, and I’m not going through that hurt again.

“Yeah right, this coming from the eternally single woman. When you find this perfect man, let me know and I’ll start looking. In the meantime, I’m having the time of my life, and that’s all that matters. I mean, the guy last night was just the perfect example of that. Tall, at least six foot two, tats on his arms and chest, broad shoulders, biceps that are rock solid, and big and thick where it counts. Yeah, he can rock my world anytime. But the best part about it was when he was finished and I was completely satisfied, he got up, dressed, kissed me goodbye, thanked me for a good night, and then left, locking the door behind him. Now you can’t tell me you still get sex like that once you are married or tied down in a relationship.”

Ugghh, this is like looking at my twenty-eight-year-old self. Was I really that obnoxious and vocal about being a man-hater? I must have been hard to be around. It was probably just lucky that I had Felisha who was exactly the same. We both had dad issues, just in a totally different way.

I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s just a bit raw for me at the moment, and I can’t tell them why.

“How’s work, Rachel, which famous person have you rubbed shoulders with this week? And if you say Benson Boone and didn’t invite me, then I’m disowning you as a sister. I love his voice.” I know full well that my sister loves her job and always has so much to share that she will now talk for the next thirty minutes without taking a breath.

“Yeah, like I’m that mean. I know you have him on repeat on your playlist. No, but it’s been a crazy few months over the summer, but now we start to slow down because who wants to tour in London in the cold months? Seriously, there are times I wonder, should I move back to Los Angelas in the US where it’s hot all the time and no freaking snow? I mean, we have dual passports, so it would be easy enough.”

“No!” I can’t help almost jumping down her throat when she says she wants to move to America. God, that’s the last thing she can do at the moment with a nutter on the loose looking for children of Ronald Williams.

My mind is racing at all the problems with that scenario, and it’s when I then focus again that I see both my sisters just staring at me with confusion all over their faces.

“Want to explain that reaction?” Amanda reaches over and places her hand on my arm, softly because my family knows I don’t like touch, but I’m not sure if they know why. We never talk about it.

Shit, how do I get around this?

“Mum would never cope with that. Dad left for America and was killed. If you went there, she would worry every minute of every day. You can’t do that to her. Plus, we would miss you. I mean, who will get me the best tickets to concerts and organize Amanda’s hen’s party?” I know I’m talking too fast and using my mother as an excuse, but I don’t know what else to do.

“Whoa, that’s a bit dark. Plus, I was just making a comment because I hate the cold. What the hell is wrong with you?” Rachel never holds back what she is thinking. I think it comes from being the youngest and trying to be heard in the family.

“Nothing. I just think that would be a dumb idea. Your life is here.” My brain is spiraling at the thought of my family in danger, and it’s making me sweat. I don’t feel great.

“Sweetie, are you okay? You look a bit pale.” Amanda now looks concerned.

“Actually, I don’t feel well. Sorry, I think I need to go home.” Grabbing my bag, I pull cash out of my wallet and put it on the table. “You two stay and get another drink on me. I’ll talk to you soon.” Standing, I start to walk away.

“I’ll stop by your apartment later to check on you,” Amanda calls to me.

“No… umm, in case it’s contagious. I’ll message you. Thanks, love you both.” I’m trying to talk calmly when I can feel that my anxiety is starting to rise to a level that is not healthy. I’m breathing too fast and feel a little faint. Calling for a Kentwall car to take me home, I take a seat just inside the restaurant’s door, waiting for it to arrive. My thoughts are going over and over again, thinking about this guy and what he wants from me. They tell me it’s just a money thing, but what if it’s more? What if it’s a revenge thing?

I don’t want to feel this unstable again.

Why is this happening?

I’m not a child anymore, I’m a grown woman who helps to run a multi-billion-dollar business on a daily basis. I can put any man in his place with just words, and I have paved a way for myself in this world, supporting my family too.

I need to ignore all of this.

The doorman signals to me that my car is here, and I move so quickly to get into the back seat where no one can see me. I concentrate on breathing and block out concerns for protecting my family. They told me I’m safe, they promised, so I have to believe them.

Walking into the apartment, all is quiet because it’s only around four pm and Forrest will be at work still, thank goodness. I don’t want anyone to see me like this.

Sweat runs down my back as I scurry to my room and strip off my clothes, walking straight into the shower. It’s what I need to bring me down and slow my thoughts. I’ll be okay, I always am, but I just need a few minutes here on my own to find my calm place.

Leaning with my head against the tiles, the water runs over my back. It’s so soothing, and I don’t know how long I stand here, but I start to realize that my skin is wrinkling, which means it’s been more than the five minutes I intended to take.

Wrapping the large fluffy cream towel around me, I remember I didn’t bring any clothes in with me, and just as I enter my bedroom, the door to my room comes flying open, banging back against the wall.

I scream in fright as Forrest comes bursting in, yelling at me.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going home? You are supposed to tell me! There is no fucking security on that front door. I had to hear it from the Kentwall driver that you had been dropped off at home.” The pure rage pouring off him almost looks like it is mixed with intense fear on his face, and it’s directed straight at me.

“What is wrong with you? You scared the living daylights out of me. You can’t come barging into my room like that. What if I was naked!” I scream back at him because my anger and fear match his.

“I don’t give a fuck if you are naked, that’s better than being dead.” He waves his hands in the air at me.

“Now you are being dramatic. You all told me there is nothing for me to be worried about. Have you been lying to me, huh, have you?” Because although I’ve been freaking out in my head, I also reminded myself of how calm they all were and that they said it was low-risk, yet he comes tearing in here like a lunatic, worried that I’m dead because I didn’t call him.

Forrest is standing there looking at me with such fire but can’t seem to find his words.

“Oh my God. You have… you lied to me. I can’t…” My feet start to move, carrying me backward into the bathroom. Everything I did to calm my nervous system is gone, and I’m falling into my spiral again.

“Harper, stop.” I can see him talking, and his voice is there, but I can’t communicate.

My chest tightens at the thought that someone out there is after me and it’s not just a trivial internet search. But the hurt in my chest is more than the fear.

It’s that he lied.

Just like my dad did.

Lies get people killed, that’s what happened to my dad.

My back hits the wall in the bathroom, and I can’t move any further, but Forrest comes toward me. Gasping for air, I manage to say just a few words. “I’m scared…”

“Of Chester?” he asks, and I don’t say a word.

“Of me?” he asks tentatively, and I shake my head frantically. I could never be scared of him.

He is standing so close now, I can smell him. It’s that smell that I wake to every morning. It’s hard to describe. It’s all man, and there is a hint of sweetness to his cologne. I remember the night we were together, it was like a drug that I was addicted to.

“Words, Harper!” His hands land on my cheeks so I can’t move or look away from him.

“No,” I answer him tentatively in a word.

“Then what are you scared of?” His voice softens, his thumb now stroking my cheek, and it hasn’t even registered yet that his touch isn’t freaking me out.

“Lies. They’re dangerous.” My voice is fragile, and I hate that about myself. I made a vow a long time ago never to be weak again.

“You are safe with me. I promised that I won’t let anything happen to you, and I’m a man of my word. Surely, you know that by now.” There is something about his voice that centers me.

“I don’t want to be like this.” I straight out tell him my fears. For some reason, I trust this man more than I have ever trusted another person besides Felisha. I’m close with my sisters, but I have kept so much from them to protect them, and this is part of me that I don’t ever want them to know about. It may be the big sister in me or just that I’m vain and don’t want anyone to see me differently to the image I have portrayed for so long.

“Let me in, Harper, share your fears with me.” Leaning forward, he kisses me on the forehead in the softest sweetest touch that has me tingling.

I want to open my life to him, but I can’t. It has been wrapped so tightly inside me for so long, I just don’t know how to unwrap the layers.

“No one needs to see the mess I am behind these walls,” I murmur.

“That’s where you are wrong. I see you more than you realize. But I’m not going to push you.” Forrest releases my face from his hands and takes one step back from me. “You have to want to do this on your own. Not because I force you or you feel obligated in any way. When the time is right, I’m here.”

I wish I knew who this Forrest was. The kind, compassionate, and strong man who just wants to make everything okay for me.

With a few more steps backward, he turns to leave the bathroom, and as he steps into my bedroom, he looks over his shoulder.

“But for the love of God, can you please message me when plans change? I’m expecting speeding tickets from that trip home. I couldn’t get here fast enough. You promised me last time, and I can’t take the stress every time.” He gives me that little half-smile he has perfected, where one side of his lip rises, and then turns his head again and continues walking toward my bedroom door that he almost destroyed as he barged in here.

“Why do you care so much, Forrest?” I call after him and have no idea why the words have come out.

“You know that answer, Harper. One day you will be ready to admit it yourself too. Now get dressed, the temptation is killing me.”

Looking down, I shiver as I realize I’m still wrapped in just a towel and have been completely naked this whole time while he held me so close. It still baffles me that I let his body be so close to mine. And his touch, who even am I letting him hold me that way?

I’m not sure my willpower would be as strong as his if the roles were reversed. And as I’m feeling myself again, I kinda wish his wasn’t that strong either.

I just wish life wasn’t so complicated. Otherwise, this towel would be on the ground, and I’d be chasing him down the hallway.

If only it was that simple, or could be, even for just a short while. Is it even possible?

That’s a question for another day.

Today my emotions are already too raw, so I won’t expose them to more feelings. Complex feelings at that.