The Attraction

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

HARPER

T he last few days have been a whirlwind.

Knowing I’d been waking up in the middle of a nightmare wrapped in Forrest’s arms, that explained the constant sense of him as I woke every morning. His scent on my pillow was the present that he had left after calming me and then leaving me to sleep. It turns out it wasn’t a magic mattress like I thought it was giving me such a restful sleep, but rather the man who was lying on that mattress during the night.

Then, giving in to feelings of undeniable want, Forrest and I had the hottest weekend in bed together, and many other surfaces in his apartment as well. We explored each other, and I’m just enjoying letting my guard down, for the moment.

Although we have agreed to keep our arrangement between us, there was no way we could keep it from those closest to us. The moment that his mum called us out over dinner, I knew that if I couldn’t keep it from a woman I’d only met for the second time, then there was no way we could keep it from the rest of the group.

I mean, Felisha cornered me the minute she walked into the apartment for the dinner. Her words were still in my head, “You’ve been fucked senseless again by the man over there who can’t keep his eyes off you, haven’t you?” with the biggest smile on her face. She is so Team Forrest in this. She wants what he wants. For me to ride off into the sunset, happily ever after, but we don’t all get that. Felisha was lucky, and I love that for her.

I’m about having fun in the here and now. That’s all it will be.

So of course, it didn’t take long for everyone else to find out, basically because Flynn carried on about some bullshit that this group of friends have kept enough secrets from each other, so it was his duty to inform them all. It has nothing to do with Flynn being the gossip in the group.

Our group chat with the girls was on overload, but it also felt kind of nice. Although I have my sisters and love them dearly, it’s different than having a group of girlfriends. Since university, there has only been Felisha and me, and that was perfect, but this is a different kind of closeness. We all share a common bond in being with one of the guys, even if it’s temporary for me, and then Cherie is the exception, who is single and happy to be.

I had an interesting conversation with Forrest yesterday as we were lying on the couch just talking and listening to music, something I never imagined myself doing with a man. I know I’m setting myself up for hurt when this is over, because I’m already finding things I’m going to miss, and that will be one of them.

When my phone started going crazy with messages from the girls, he took it from me and told me there was something he needed me to know because he didn’t want me blindsided later.

He continued to explain what happened between him and Cherie. Not that anything ever really did happen but that he thought he wanted it to. It hurt to hear a little, but the more we talked it through, I could see what was happening. His personality and how he has lived his life protecting those he is close to.

Which is why I know I need to walk away from this when the time is right, because I don’t want to be another one of those people that he feels is his responsibility.

But I also know that the next time I see Cherie, I need to talk to her. Not that I don’t trust him, but more to make sure that she isn’t hiding any feelings for him. I’m the queen of not letting people see the real me, and I know she is too. So, it’s important that we talk it through.

Forrest agreed with me to keep whatever this is between us to just his parents and our friends. I know he wanted me to say I would tell my family too, but that feels too much for me. They know me as the emotional ice queen and accept me anyway, so I don’t want to confuse them when they see me letting Forrest touch me. Plus, I would then need to explain how we are living in his apartment, and that is part of this story that I don’t want to share with them.

As much as the weekend was a lot, I walked into work this morning feeling lighter than I have in a very long time.

“Morning, aren’t we glowing today.” Felisha is smiling and proud of herself for pushing me toward Forrest. She may have initially told me to stay away from him, but she soon changed her tune when she suspected we had ignored her anyway.

“Don’t even start with this gloating shit. Yes, I look extra-hot today, I know. Now, can we get on with work? We have a few urgent matters to look at, one of which is going to involve us firing a manager, appointing a new one, and sorting out the shit that has gone down in Zurich over the weekend.” Looking up from my computer, I see her mind has clicked straight into work mode, and we are off and running for the week.

* * *

How I have made it to Friday and am still sane is a miracle.

Felisha and I had to fly to Zurich to oversee the replacement of the manager of our hotel there. It’s probably the most important position in the hotel, and if that person is not doing their job properly, then those bad habits can infiltrate the staff around them.

Forrest was not happy that I was traveling out of the country, and it resulted in a huge fight. I told him to back off and not to dare trying to interfere with my work. He has an important job, but so do I, and I’m not letting anything get in the way of me performing that as best as I can. So, his solution was that I had to have a security team with me that made me feel like I was the freaking King of England. It was overkill, and if I had my way, I would’ve sent half of them home. But Sandon and Rem both told me to let them do their job, and it’s hard to argue with them, when I used that same statement in my fight with Forrest.

“It’s seven thirty on a Friday night, what are you still doing here?” Felisha’s tired voice filters into my office from the doorway.

“The same thing you are, trying to finish off these last few things before I leave.” I press save on the file I was working on, which is the final one that I need to email to our chief financial officer, who is nothing like another certain money man I know. Our CFO is a sixty-year-old woman we hired when all the issues with Felisha’s father came to light. We couldn’t trust the old one that was obviously helping Ewan Kentwall hide how he was bleeding money from the company. Benitta is married with five children. She turns up here every day in her perfect skirt suit at seven fifty-nine am, right before she is due to start. Keeps to herself during the day and only speaks when needed in meetings. But she is good at this job and was so helpful at finding ways that she thought he had taken money from the company when we went through the drama with Felisha’s father.

“I have approved that budget for Benitta, ready for Monday, so she will be right to put it all in place.” I lean back in my chair and stretch my arms out in front of me.

“Thanks. Now let’s go, because you look as tired as I feel.” Felisha leans her hands on the back of the visitor chair on the other side of my desk.

“Yes, boss, and thanks for the compliment.” But I know she’s not wrong.

Sleeping in Forrest’s bed every night might help with the nightmares, but it doesn’t mean I’m getting any rest.

That man is a machine, and I have learned it is almost impossible for me to say no to him. My body is starting to crave him like a drug I can’t go without. Which is not good, but I’m addicted anyway.

“I’m also here to deliver a message,” she says.

Pushing back from my desk after shutting down my computer, I pick up my bag, slipping my laptop back into it. “Ughh, do I even want to know? Man, I thought Forrest was a grumpy asshole before, but now he’s just changed to a possessive grumpy asshole.” I roll my eyes at her as I push my office chair under my desk and turn off my desk lamp.

“Well, I think you might want to take that back when I tell you this.” Her words are enough to stop me in my tracks.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, staring directly at her, trying to guess what she is about to say.

“Downstairs there is a car waiting for the both of us to take us to the airport. We are off to the villa in St. Tropez for a weekend of relaxation and fun.” She looks very proud of herself.

“I don’t have anything with me, plus Forrest will lose his shit if I leave the country without him,” I say, trying to grab my phone to start messaging him.

“Oh, welcome to the world of being with a dominant Taylor man. As if we are traveling alone this time. Said men are also downstairs in the car waiting for us. Plus, he packed a bag for you.”

“What the hell, how would he know…?” Before I can get out what I was about to say, Felisha is talking over top of me.

“But don’t worry, I have also packed you a bag of things he will probably have forgotten,” she says and walks over to me, hooking her arm through mine. It’s our way of being connected without hugging. Leaning closer, she whispers in my ear, “Remember when I told you that giving up control to the right man in certain ways can be like a nirvana you never knew existed? Well, welcome to that nirvana.”

Felisha pulls me toward my office door, locking it and pulling it closed behind us. It feels like closing the door on the week, and boy, it was one hell of a week.

“Am I about to regret this?” I ask her as we ride the elevator down to ground level.

“Oh, only you can answer that one.” Felisha just looks at me with a smile that tells me she is still hiding something.

“What do you know that I don’t? Don’t lie to me. Remember, you are supposed to be on Team Harper.” Turning to her, I pin her with the stare I use in the boardroom when I’m pushing a point.

“I will always be Team Harper, stop fooling yourself that I’m not. Now for goodness’ sake, just go with it, will you? Someone is trying to do something nice for you. I seem to remember you telling me to give Flynn a chance, so why don’t you take your own medicine with Forrest. Trust me, I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t think it would be good for you.”

The elevator doors open just as she finishes, and my heart is racing.

I hate surprises. I need to know what is happening. The unknown scares me.

Then I see his silhouette standing outside the main doors, the company limousine waiting in the parking area.

As soon as he spots us exiting the elevator, he is through the door and striding toward me.

“I hate surprises,” are the first words out of my mouth as soon as he is close enough.

Which brings laughter from him as he takes my hand and leans down to kiss me on the cheek, which is already pissing me off because we agreed no public displays of affection. I know he will argue a technicality with it being on my cheek.

“Hello to you too, my little boo.” He’s proud of himself with that name.

“Don’t even try to sweet talk me with such a shit name,” I mumble as I’m being walked toward the car. Felisha has already walked ahead of us, I’m guessing to give us a little privacy, and is being greeted by Flynn as she slides into the back of the car.

“But I did so well, it rhymed and everything.” And the smile on his face as he is walking annoys me.

He stops in front of me a few feet from the open car door, and I can tell he wants to touch me but is trying to refrain.

“Harper, you need to learn to trust me.” I hate when he uses that voice that makes me go weak in my knees; it’s gentle but firm, and it gets me every time.

“I do, but it doesn’t mean you don’t piss me off at the same time.” I storm past him to the car and slide in, giving both Flynn and Felisha a dirty look to let them know they are in my bad books too for going along with this hijacking.

Forrest slides in beside me, and I can tell by the way his body jerks that he is trying to hold in his laughter.

“Oh, Bro, you are in big trouble. Not even I would cross a woman who looks like that.” Flynn doesn’t bother refraining himself and is laughing as he puts his arm around Felisha’s shoulder in the car.

But as soon as he makes the comment, Felisha elbows him in his side. “Don’t be a dick, Flynn.” She looks at him with a scolding face.

“Yeah, what she said.” I pout like a child, but I can’t help it.

There is so much going on in my head, but the biggest thing is that I’m letting Forrest get too close.

Living together in forced proximity is one thing, but now he is taking me for a cute romantic weekend away. That’s more than him being my regular one-night-stand man that he promised to be.

His hand rests on my thigh, and I want to push it away, but it feels too good. I’m so wound up over nothing, to be honest, but his touch is soothing.

I feel his body move toward me from the side, and his lips are near my ear. “You trust me to protect you, so trust me to take care of you in other ways. Let me help you live the life you deserve.” The whisper and the softness of the air on my ear has a shiver running up my spine as he then pulls back and starts up a conversation with his brother, as if he didn’t just say the words that could make me melt into a puddle on the floor.

I try to push down the irritation of having no control and just look out the window all the way to the airport. The other three are talking about their day and how it’s been a challenging few months for us all.

I want to contribute that as hard as it’s been for them, none of them have a threat hanging over their head like I do. I try to keep a lid on my emotions, but for some reason it is rising again, because I feel out of control.

Like he can sense my head is starting to race again, Forrest’s thumb starts stroking my thigh back and forth. There is something about this simple motion that seems to bring me some kind of peace.

Pulling up to the plane, I try to take a deep breath as I step out of the car. I need to stop being such a bitch to Forrest. After all, he is trying to do something nice for me, yet just like normal, my default mechanism is to put up the walls and push people away with my brashness.

Watching Felisha and Flynn hurry to the plane in front of me, I know I need to apologize to Forrest. And that’s when it hits me. Shit, my period is due any day, so no wonder I want to scratch everyone’s eyes out. Welcome, hormones, nice of you to join the party to bring out the crazy bitch in me.

“I’m sorry.” I mean it, but of course it still comes out a bit harshly.

“Thanks, but I don’t need the apology. I know I’m pushing you past your comfort zone. I was expecting it.” He takes my hand and pulls me toward the steps up into the jet.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Since when should someone put up with backlash for doing something nice? I don’t think I have ever taken the time to stop and assess my own personality over the years. But maybe it’s time I did.

Forrest steps through the plane door and then turns in the entrance to direct me to walk past him.

The moment I step into the main part of the cabin, there is an eruption of cheers and clapping. I try to step backward to run away from whatever this is. My back hits Forrest’s chest, and he wraps his arms around my waist.

“Happy fortieth birthday, baby,” he says in my ear as I start taking in the vision in front of me, streamers and a big sign that’s hanging up.

“How… I wasn’t going to… Felisha, you are dead to me,” I snap, pointing at her.

We agreed that we would keep my birthday quiet. I’m not big on celebrations, so we were going to just do lunch on Monday. I didn’t want Forrest to know that Sunday is my fortieth birthday, knowing he would make a fuss and buy some expensive present that wasn’t necessary. I’m not worth it. And I was so wound up about not knowing what was going on when we left the office that it didn’t even occur to me it was to do with my birthday that I was trying to forget about.

“Hey, it wasn’t me. I wasn’t told until this morning and was sworn to secrecy!” she screams back at me.

The plane is full of all our friends. Nic and Tori, Rem and Elouise, Cherie, and of course, Flynn and Felisha.

I turn back around to face the man who is responsible for this explosion of noise. “Why?” I ask.

“Because, like I told you, you’re special to me. And this is just the beginning of me showing you that. No one should let a big birthday go past without a party. I knew you wouldn’t leave the house on Sunday, so yes, I’m kidnapping you, and instead of a day, you now get the whole weekend to enjoy the celebration of my beautiful Harper.”

I don’t get a chance to reply before his hand takes the back of my head and draws me to him. Our lips collide, and he is reminding me in case I forgot that he owns my body, but what he doesn’t know is that whether I like it or not, he owns my soul too.

Who can stay mad at a man who is trying to make me feel seen, no matter how hard I try to hide?

“You know, you are more sickening than any of us were, big brother.” Flynn hands Forrest the beer that he ordered for him once we were in the air and had leveled out. I decided that just a sparkling water was all I needed to calm me down. Alcohol on an empty stomach probably isn’t the best idea, but I’m not admitting to Forrest I didn’t eat today. That is not the smartest move in a confined space.

“That’s what manly charm looks like. Time to step up your game.” Forrest smiles at me in the seat next to me, with Felisha and Flynn opposite us.

And something inside of me has me wanting to defend him.

“You should hear what he says when you’re not around, it would burn your ears.” I take a sip of my drink, and Flynn almost chokes on his beer.

“Nope, we aren’t doing that. Any talk about sex is off the table. That’s a rule, I’m sure of it, and if it’s not, we are making it a rule right now. No discussions between you two about us brothers because that’s just wrong. Oh God, please tell me you don’t compare notes. I mean, I know I’d be better, but I don’t want Forrest to feel inferior, because that’s just cruel.” I have never seen Flynn so rattled, and I can’t help but continue.

“Oh yeah, Felisha and I discuss it every morning over coffee, but I hate to tell you that your brother outmans you every single night.” I’m trying so hard to keep a straight face, but the moment I look at Felisha, who is literally holding the sides of her waist, we both burst out in full hysterics, with Forrest joining us.

“I hate you all,” Flynn mutters.

Tori yells at us from behind us, “What did we miss?” And all the others stop to listen.

“Flynn being schooled by Harper,” Forrest tells her. “And all you need to know is that if there was a comparison happening, that apparently, I’d outperform Flynn every time,” he proudly replies, and now the whole plane is laughing, and the joke just keeps growing and getting better and better. So much for Flynn’s rule about no sex talk.

It was what I needed to break the ice and make sure that I’m not the center of attention all night, which is what I was worried about.

The two-hour flight was smooth and actually a lot of fun. Not one word of work was mentioned. Elouise was living her best life getting some time away from the kids, and the girls told me what they have planned for us tomorrow. All my favorite things, shopping and pampering, and of course, some good food and alcohol thrown in.

Felisha and I were filling them in on all the good shops that we usually frequent, when Flynn’s voice cut in and tells us we are banned from visiting any nightclubs or bars without them. We all know why, but nobody is about to mention that.

There were cars and security waiting for us when we landed, and now we are finally all settled into our rooms in the villa for the night. It’s been a long week, so it was decided that we have an early night and meet for breakfast in the morning.

Forrest and I are in my usual bedroom I stay in whenever Felisha and I visit the villa. Of course it is a big villa, twelve bedrooms, so there is plenty of room for everyone, and it is spread out enough that we don’t have to be close to each other.

Our bedroom has a balcony off it that looks out over the Gulf of St. Tropez. Although we are heading into winter, the air is only mildly cool outside and perfect to sit out there with a nightcap and talk.

“I know I said it before, but I do mean it. I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time. Thank you for this.” I lift my glass up to his, and as we clink them together, the scotch in both of them swishes from side to side.

He replies with a smug look on his face. “You’re welcome, foxy lady.”

“Seriously, here I was trying to be nice to you and you say that. You know that this name thing is getting old now, don’t you.” But for the first time, I can’t help but smile at it too.

I don’t know that I have ever had anything in my life like this, that is just the stupidest joke but at the same time is also something just between me and a man I’m close to.

I don’t know because I was so young, but I can imagine that my mum and dad had inside jokes like this. They were so close, and I always thought they were so cute together.

Thinking about them in a good way is a bit of a shock because I haven’t done that in a long time. Since before my dad left.

Then it hits me like a bolt of lightning, a warm feeling surging through my body.

He didn’t leave her because he didn’t love her. My father left to try to protect her, because of how much he loved her.

It may not have played out how he wanted it to, but if I look at it now from an outside perspective, the media attention went away probably quicker than it would have if he had stayed with us. Knowing what I know now about how business law works, it would have taken years for him to be charged with trading insolvently, and the whole family would have been hounded by the media and by the public whose money he lost.

All of a sudden, I feel the need to share this.

“He loved my mother.” My words came from nowhere, yet Forrest doesn’t even flinch. Instead, he just takes my hand in his and squeezes it.

“I’ve been so angry for so long that I couldn’t see through the rage. But it meant that I had also forgotten about a life that I loved before then. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong. Should I stay mad or try to forgive him? Maybe it will help with the nightmares.” Still looking out at the water, so many feelings are rushing forward in my head. I don’t know why it chose now to happen, but I don’t think I could stop if I tried.

“There’s no answer to that, but it also means there is no magic set of rules about how to navigate such a life-changing event either. You did what you needed to at the time. Be kind to yourself, Harper, and don’t overthink your past actions.” His words are like a warm blanket being wrapped around me.

“How do you always seem to know the right thing to say to me?” Setting eyes on him, he looks at me with such compassion that stokes the fire in me that has been just under the surface all night.

“I don’t know. I just let my heart speak, and let me assure you, that’s new to me too.” His contemplative look shows me that we are both in uncharted waters here.

I want nothing more than to crawl into his lap and let the night breeze take away all my thoughts for me, but I’m learning since meeting Forrest that talking is actually far more productive in helping me deal with this.

The faint noise of the water hitting the distant shore is carried on the wind, and it’s so peaceful.

“Tell me about him, your father. What was he like when you were growing up?”

If he’d asked me this question a few weeks ago, it would have caused me to arch up and tell him my life is none of his business and not to speak about my father again, but tonight, I want to answer him. That may change tomorrow, but tonight, I feel my father close by, and I want to share him with Forrest.

Taking another sip of my scotch, I start to sift through my favorite memories that I haven’t allowed me to think of for a long time.

“He worked hard. I would hear him and my mum sometimes talking about how maybe she should find a job so he didn’t have to work so much. But he would always shut that down straight away. He said it was his job to provide for his girls. But it was never in a domineering way, more in a loving way. He was proud of what he was achieving.”

Thinking about what I have just said, I can understand now the sheer devastation he must have felt at letting us down when his world fell apart. Everything he lived for was gone, including his family.

“I get that. There’s something deep inside a man that wants to make life easier for the ones he loves. It doesn’t mean taking a career away from them but just providing for them whatever they need so they can be the best they can be too.” His words are circling in my head.

“Life is different now. Most women work in some capacity, and it’s not just about the need to; it’s self-satisfying to have a job or forge a career, whatever you choose to do. And for some, that job they choose is to care for their family and be the best parent they can, and I think that’s awesome too. The most important thing in the current age is that there should always be choice, for both men and women. There are some awesome stay-at-home dads out there who are rocking that job.” I let out a little giggle at the thought that just jumped into my head. “I can picture Flynn as a stay-at-home dad. It would be total chaos, but he would be good at it, and the kids would love every minute of it.”

“Oh, I don’t even want to think about that man-child having children of his own. Not sure the world could take more of Flynn’s genes in it.” We both continue to laugh and feel sorry for Felisha if they ever decide to have kids. It’s a hard no for me, but I can see the longer Felisha is with Flynn, he is softening her, and it’s beautiful to watch.

“So, did you get to spend much time with him when he wasn’t working?” Forrest brings me back to what we were talking about before being distracted by the visions of his crazy brother.

I spend what feels like an hour pouring out so many memories of the father I knew and not the man I had demonized in my head since he walked out on us. Forrest sits there and listens so intently, sometimes sharing a little of his life but always managing to steer me back to my childhood. The more words that come out, the lighter I feel.

Just as I feel like I’m all talked out, Forrest stands and holds his hand out to me.

“Bedtime?” I ask as I stand.

“No. Dance with me under the stars,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “The darkness can be a peaceful place if you let it.” Taking his phone from his pocket, he pulls up his music, and the sweet tunes of “Ordinary” by Alex Warren softly start filling the night around us.

I know Forrest’s words always mean more than just words. Everything he says has a purpose. And right now, that purpose is to free me from the weight that I have dragged around with me for half of my life.

But will that be enough for me to be able to give him what he longs for?

Every piece of me.