The Attraction

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

FORREST

H aving Harper in bed, in my arms, is what I’ve been longing for. I’m so relieved that I don’t have to hide being with her every night any longer.

Protecting her was worth the short-term pain she felt until she understood why I did what I did. Now I can listen to her breathing and not worry that she’s about to wake up.

To be honest, I doubt Harper will be waking for hours. Marathon sex will do that to a person.

For someone who has an issue with anyone hugging her, she is clinging to me so tightly. I know it’s not from a nightmare because she would be moving and talking. This is just her hanging on to the peace that my arms bring her in her sleep. Now I just need her to find that same calmness when she is awake.

I won’t push her, but I’m not holding back anymore either.

There will be a balance for her, and I’m determined to find it.

As much as I love listening to her sleep, my body reminds me that I don’t have to lie awake anymore. Sleep overtakes me, and I’m sure I drift off with a smile on my face.

* * *

“Morning, pookie.” I kiss the top of her head as she starts to stir.

“Call me that again and I will knee you so hard in the balls you won’t be able to walk,” she grumbles from where her head is lying on my chest.

“Not a morning person. Noted.” I can’t help but laugh. This game is getting good, and if she thinks I’m about to stop, then think again.

“Not an anytime-of-the-day person if you call me a name I want to vomit over.” She lifts her head up, and this is the Harper I want in my life. Completely stripped of all her perfection she thinks she needs. Hair messed up and little crinkles on her face from where she was a dead weight on my chest hair. Eyes not hidden by makeup but just glistening in the natural morning light that is coming in through the window.

“Oh, come on, I thought that was a good one.” I lift her chin with my finger so I can kiss her.

“No, no kiss. Morning breath.” She tries to pull away, but there is no way that’s happening.

“Harper, you had my dick halfway down your throat last night, and should we discuss where my tongue has been? Shut up and kiss me.” And the smile that spreads over her face pulls at me.

I’m gone over this woman. There is no going back from here.

“You’re gross, you know that?” she grumbles, leaning back up toward me.

“Yep.” Taking her lips with mine, I remind her of what she will get every morning for the rest of her life if she will just let me in.

“Good morning, beautiful,” I whisper as I pull away slightly to see the reaction in her eyes. The window to her soul.

“Morning.” She kisses me quickly again and then giggles to herself as she starts to push up out of bed, I’m guessing to use the bathroom.

As I watch her sexy naked body walk away from me toward the ensuite, she looks over shoulder, her black hair hanging down her back.

“And I thought we decided on goddess,” she sasses, before winking and turning away.

“Yes. We. Did.” I can feel my cock getting hard again as her perfectly tight little ass sways away from me.

Oh yeah, that’s exactly how I want to wake up in the morning. Seeing my goddess in my bedroom like she belongs here.

The door opens, and she’s standing there with my robe wrapped around her.

“What’s that?” I point to what she’s wearing.

“My protection to make it out of this room, before I end up back in that bed.” She sidesteps toward the bedroom door, not bothering to pick up her pajamas off the floor.

“Oh, you want me to chase you? Yeah, I’m good at this game, been doing it all week already.” Throwing the covers back, I run after her as she takes off across the hallway, screaming like a girl.

“No, I’m showering, I’ll meet you for breakfast.” The door slams shut, and I hear the thud of her leaning against it.

“I’ve heard I’m good in a shower,” I call through the door.

“Too good, that’s the problem. Go work out or something, you know, burn off some of that testosterone or whatever is running through that dick of yours. That super body fuel that you tried to tell me you had last night.” She giggles as I grin at the memories of this morning’s early hours when we had sex hard and fast, then soft and slow, and then the fun really began as we both relaxed and jokes were flying between us.

Fun banter is so much better than fight banter.

“Fine, you win, but it’s Saturday. I’m not training, so I’m not using up all that testosterone you speak of. I’ll be keeping that super fuel for later tonight. All for you, my little dumpling.” I walk back into my room laughing as I hear her groan.

“I’m off to start vomiting,” she screams through the door while my chuckle just gets louder.

We both showered, and are now finishing up breakfast, when my phone rings.

“Hi, Mum.” I roll my eyes at Harper who has her hand over her mouth to stop my mum from hearing her laughing at my facial expression as I answered.

“Hello, Forrest. I’m so excited to see you and Harper tonight. I just wanted to know what I need to bring. Oh, and is it a fancy dinner? Do we need to dress up, you know, like sparkly or does your father need to wear a tie…?” She is talking so fast.

“Mum, Mum, slow down,” I say, trying not to laugh at her. “No, you don’t need to bring anything except for yourself and Dad. Flynn is cooking dinner, and I think I might make the dessert.” Harper’s eyes open wide, and she raises her hand up for me to high-five it. She understands that’s a big step for me. “And no, Mum, just dress casually, as you would if I was coming for dinner at your house. We are family, there are no pretenses here.” I try to calm her because I know she feels she needs to impress Felisha and now Harper being here as well. Not that Mum has any idea what is going on. She has hopes and will be trying her best to matchmake tonight.

“Yes, but those two girls are so beautiful and always look like they stepped out of a magazine.” I can hear the underlying worry in her voice of being enough for these two women.

“Mum, stop it. You have met Felisha a few times now and she loves you. You have met Harper once, and she thinks you are adorable and told me she thinks you would be more fun to have dinner with than me and Flynn. Plus, I can assure you I have seen both these women in casual clothes just like yours. Comfy pants and a shirt, oh and shock horror, they even wear track pants on occasions too, looking totally unkempt.” This has Harper reaching out and slapping my arm.

“Forrest Taylor, don’t you be so facetious!” Mum yells at me down the phone.

“Uh-oh, I’m in trouble, you used my full name.”

“You are not too big to cop a wooden spoon on the backside just like when you were little.” She starts to laugh on her end of the phone, with both of us knowing I might have got it twice if I was lucky over the years, and it was so soft I barely felt it. But Flynn, that’s a totally different story. Mum was forever chasing him with the wooden spoon, but he was just baiting her. Because even though he was a little shit growing up, she still was so soft with the spoon it did nothing to discipline him. That sort of thing isn’t done in this day and age, with good reason, but Mum had more effect on us if she went quiet and told us she was disappointed in us. Nothing stabs you harder in the heart than hearing you have disappointed your parents.

“Okay, I’ll behave. But please, just come however you like, and let Dad wear whatever he wants, even if it doesn’t match. No one cares he has no dress sense.”

Harper stands and takes the empty plates and coffee cups to the dishwasher.

“I care, Forrest. I have been married to this man for forty-seven years, and it feels like I’ve been dressing him nearly every day of that time,” she proudly states.

“And I’m sure he loves you for that, Mum,” I say, knowing that Dad would never complain one minute about Mum and her nagging. He loves her deeply, even if he never says it out loud that often. You just have to see the way he looks at her.

“He better.” She laughs.

“Now I need to go because I have a few things I need to do this morning. See you tonight, the car will be there to pick you up at five o’clock, okay?” I roll my finger around in circles so Harper knows I’m trying to wind up the call.

“Okay, my sweet boy, see you soon.” And I smile, wondering where I get the corny names from.

“Bye, Mum.” I hang up the call and sigh with relief.

“Stop it, she sounds adorable.” Harper walks back toward me.

“That’s one word for my mum. Let’s see what words you have for her after tonight, like nosy, pushy, chatty, just to name a few.” I put my arm around her waist and pull her to me.

“You are lucky to have her.” And Harper’s words hit a little more seriously than I would have liked.

Laying her head on my chest, we just stand in silence for a minute.

“BBQ ribs,” she says with a little emotion.

“What?” I ask.

“BBQ ribs were his favorite food. I haven’t eaten them since he left.” And I can’t help but feel proud of her for taking that first step out of the shadow she has been living in.

“Thank you,” I say, letting her know how much I appreciate her trying so hard to open up a little. “Maybe one day down the track, we can find an American ribs place and can enjoy some together. When you are ready, there is no rush.” I kiss her forehead as she looks up at me.

“I think I might like that,” she expresses with the slightest bit of hope in her voice. Something I’ve never heard when she talks about her father.

We may just be getting somewhere.

“Now let’s get ready to go the grocery shop, after I message Flynn and tell him not to worry about dessert.” And that sentence is enough to snap her from her thoughts.

“Yay! What are you cooking? It better be good. We need to show that little shit of a brother of yours that he’s not the only chef. Oh, can I cook too? Or at least try to. I need to message my mother and get her recipe for pumpkin pie. It’s to die for.” She is out of my arms and picking up her phone, messaging at speed. “I’ve never cooked it before, but how hard can it be, right?” The way her face has lit up makes me happy.

“Famous last words,” I declare as start I messaging Flynn.

* * *

Harper is standing in the middle of the living room where I’m sitting on the couch, watching the football game while she was showering.

“Seriously, how does my mother make baking look so easy? I just spent twenty minutes trying to get the flour out of my hair and the pastry from under my fingernails. And you, Mr. Master Chef, whipping up a lemon meringue pie and a chocolate mousse in less time than it took for me to cook one dessert. I’m just not meant to be a baker obviously. My talents must be in other…”

She takes my breath away most days, but just looking at her standing in front of me in a pair of jeans that fit her body perfectly and a white button-up shirt, tucked in at her waist on one side and the other just hanging loosely. Her feet are bare, with toenails painted a deep plum color that match her fingernails. Her black hair twisted into a messy bun with a few strands just freely hanging down the side of her face. The lightest dusting of makeup.

“Stunning,” is all I reply to her, cutting off her rant.

She stops mid-sentence, but it brings a smile to her face.

“Am I casual enough for your mum? I don’t want her feeling uncomfortable.” Her care for my mother just makes me fall that little bit more. I know I’m setting myself up for real hurt, but I can’t stop myself. It just means I need to work harder to make her fall just as hard back so she doesn’t walk away.

“Thank you.” Sitting forward on the couch and leaning out, I grab her hand and pull her toward me. Before she has time to protest, I pull her into my lap. “That’s kind of you to worry about her. It means a lot to me.” I kiss her softly on her lips.

“Ah-ah, you’ll smudge my lipstick,” Harper pretends to scold me.

“That’s okay, I’ll just kiss you on your other lips,” I say, smirking to myself.

“Forrest!” she shrieks and tries to squirm out of my lap.

“What?” I hold her tight around her waist and have no intention of letting her go just yet.

Both of us are laughing, and it’s like having Harper here, like this, is breathing life into my apartment.

With her settling on my lap, I know we still have a little bit of time before Flynn and Felisha arrive, and then later, my parents.

“We need to have a chat.” My words make Harper stop and look at me with a serious expression.

“What’s wrong?” I feel for her because every time someone wants to discuss something with her, it automatically puts her on alert.

“Nothing serious.” I put my hand on her cheek to calm her. “But we need to talk about us and what, if anything, we are going to tell people, especially my family.” If I had the option, I would be shouting from the rooftop of this building that Harper Williams is mine. But it’s not as simple as that.

“We can’t tell them.” The panic on her face tells me everything. She still thinks this is just for now.

“Okay, but can I ask why?” I try to keep my frustration from breaking free.

“What will happen when it ends? They will think they need to take sides.” And there it is. The fear that this won’t last.

“I don’t know how many times I need to say this. I will fight for you, Harper. You can try to push me away, but I’m stubborn as hell, and when I want something, I don’t give up easily.” My words make her flinch, but I figure the more I say it, I have a chance that eventually it will sink in.

“Oh, you think you are stubborn? Pot meet kettle.” And she is defaulting to humor so she doesn’t have to talk about this any longer.

“Don’t do that. Again, you are talking to the champion of avoiding conversations that are more than surface level. I know that trick.” Taking a deep breath, I try not to show my disappointment at not being able to say anything to my family. “But I told you I wouldn’t push you, and I won’t. But if you think I will be able to hide the way I can’t take my eyes off you, you’re delusional.” Speaking the truth is all I can do.

Brushing off what I just said, she continues. “Then I will piss you off so much that the only look you will be sending my way will be one where you want to kill me. I’ve got this, you’ll see.” Harper looks like she is accepting a challenge.

I don’t have the heart to tell her that my brother and friends have already worked out that we slept together once and that I want more. So, she can try to hide it, but I doubt it will last for long. They aren’t that stupid, and if Flynn knows, then Felisha will definitely know. There is no way he can keep his mouth shut.

She thinks she is so smart, but I’m going to make it so hard for her that I know which one of us will be the most pissed off. They say make-up sex is off the charts, so I can’t wait to test out that theory tonight.

“Well, if I’m not allowed to touch you or kiss you tonight, I think I deserve a little TLC now, what do you say.”

Before I can even get my lips on her, Harper has jumped up and taken me by surprise.

“Nope, not happening. Annoy-Forrest is already activated.” Very proud of herself, she is backing away from me.

But two can play at this game.

Standing and walking toward her, she is so distracted that she backs herself into the corner of the floor-to-ceiling windows that lead out to the balcony.

“Nope. Stay back. Distance, remember, that’s what we agreed on,” she screeches as her back hits the glass, and I’m on top of her before she can move to get away. Pinning her to the glass with my hips, I grab both of her hands in one of mine as she tries to shove me off, and then I have them raised above her head. And I slide my free hand up under her shirt and grasp her plump breast.

“Did you say no distance? I’m sure that’s what I heard,” I growl into her ear as I start kissing down her neck. She said no to her lips, but her neck was never off limits.

Her breathing is getting quicker, and as much as she wants to protest, she can’t.

“No comment,” she whispers.

“That’s what I thought,” I reply as I grind my already hard cock against her, listening to her whimper. “See what happens when you try to fight me? It just turns me on more. So, bring it on, honey bunny.” And just as she is about to give in and let me take this further, I pull away, leaving her hot and bothered against the glass.

With perfect timing, the door opens, and Flynn walks in with a bag of groceries, and Felisha’s yelling at him for letting himself in with his key.

Luckily for Harper, they are too busy arguing with each other that they don’t see her so flushed and trying to straighten her shirt. All the while, she’s giving me the death stare that she so boldly tried to say I would be giving her tonight.

Thank God I’m also wearing a shirt that is hanging free over the top of my jeans that are trying so hard to contain my cock, because it would otherwise be a dead giveaway that something was going on in here.

“Forrest doesn’t care. Christ, I’m cooking his dinner for him. It’s not like he wasn’t expecting us.” Flynn looks across to where Harper is now standing next to me and stops in his tracks. “You don’t care, do you?”

To which I can’t help but laugh as Felisha rolls her eyes at her fiancé. “I’m sorry for this pain in the ass.” She points over her shoulder as she comes over and kisses me on the cheek, giving me a quick hug. Then she moves on to Harper, giving her the same kiss and what I call half a hug which is their normal, but as she pulls back, she looks at us both sheepishly.

“Come and help me unload and get started.” Flynn looks at me, raising his chin in the direction of the kitchen. It’s one of those times I’m actually happy to be nagged at by Flynn, to get me out of the discussion I think was about to start.

“You don’t need our help, do you?” Felisha calls over her shoulder as the two girls take a spot on the couch.

“I don’t know about Harper, but I’ve seen your cooking skills, my dear,” Flynn yells to her, “so it would be safer for all of us if you stay right there.”

Harper replies straight after, “Hey, I baked a pie.”

And I can’t help but burst out laughing. “Oh, and wasn’t that entertaining. But I’m sure it will taste amazing later.” I wink at her from the kitchen.

“Asshole,” she yells back at me as I see Felisha grabbing her attention, and then there is a lot of whispering and hands moving in an intense conversation between them.

As Flynn and I finish unloading and he starts pulling out the pots and pans he needs for whatever he is cooking, he keeps side-eyeing me, and just as I’m about to leave the kitchen, he grabs me and drags me into the walk-in pantry.

“What the hell was going when I walked in here, just now?” Flynn and I are close but have never been this kind of close until the last year when everything with Felisha happened and he needed me. In a different way than he has leaned on me since he was a child. This was an emotional connection that we cemented, and it was something I didn’t realize how much I wanted until I finally had it.

“Nothing,” I say but don’t mean it.

“Bullshit. Try again. This is me you are talking to,” he replies in a loud whisper.

“I can’t talk about it,” I tell him, hoping that he drops it so I don’t have to break the decision that Harper came up with to keep this between us.

“You don’t have to. You’ve slept with her again, but this time it’s more, I can tell. The attraction was written all over both your faces when I walked in on whatever was about to happen.”

“Well, my advice would be don’t use your key going forward. Might be best if you knocked first.” I turn and walk out of the pantry before it looks suspicious and leave him there smiling like a Chesire cat and doing thrusting movements with his hips.

“Grow up,” I mouth to him.

To which he replies, mouthing back at me, “Never.” And I don’t doubt it.

Leaving Flynn to create his culinary delight, I organize drinks for the girls. The TV is off now, and with the music low in the background, I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time. I can see a future like this, the four of us spending time together. I remember back to when Flynn was in Australia, and I was so wrapped up in work and looking after our parents that it wasn’t until he came home for a holiday that I realized I actually missed him. But it wasn’t until he moved back permanently and we started working together that we really developed a proper adult brotherly relationship.

But this, here, tonight.

This is what I longed for.

I’m in the kitchen stacking the dirty pots and pans from Flynn’s cooking that is now in the oven, and my phone buzzes for the fourteenth time.

“Just in case you were all worried, Mum and Dad are now down to five minutes away.” I look up at the two girls laughing, and Flynn just drops his head into his hands. “Lord, help us,” I mumble to myself.

“Oh, tonight is going to be so much fun,” Harper calls out to me, and she is being sarcastic, but just seeing her enjoying herself and not thinking about her life outside this apartment is comforting.

“I’ll ask you if you feel the same after they have left later, hey, Flynn?” But before he can reply, Felisha is looking at both of us.

“You two boys are terrible. Your mother is so beautiful and kind, and your dad, he’s a sweetheart. I don’t know where you two come from, because you didn’t inherit any of their good qualities, that’s for sure.” She hits Flynn with a cushion off the couch.

“What do you mean, that’s exactly how you would describe me and my brother. I’m beautiful and kind and he’s a sweetheart.”

This brings a huge explosion of laughter from all four of us.

“You can’t be any further from that, Mr. Annoying and Proverbial Pest.” Felisha points to Flynn.

While Harper points to me. “And Mr. Grumpy and Serious over there didn’t get any of the sweetness, that’s for sure.”

“How do you know I don’t taste sweet?” And it’s game on, judging by the look in her eyes at my comment.

Trying to come up with a reply, she is saved by her friend.

“Well, I don’t know about that, but I can confirm my man is annoying and certainly doesn’t taste sweet at all. Have you smelt this man’s gym socks? There’s not a chance in hell that any part of him tastes good.” Felisha kisses Flynn on the cheek as she gets up to walk toward me with the empty glasses from the table.

Harper’s eyes haven’t left me, and I can tell she is plotting how to return the favor of my comment a moment ago.

The knock on the door saves this conversation from certainly steering into one full of innuendos that will surely give up the fact that there is something more than friendship going on in this apartment.

Opening the door to Mum and Dad, I can see their excitement at being here.

“Hi, Mum.” I lean down, kissing her cheek and giving her a deep hug, then look up at my dad standing patiently behind. Heaven help Dad, if he ever tried to walk in the door in front of Mum, stealing the first hug from her children.

“Dad.” I shake his hand and give him a man hug as Mum now rushes to Flynn. “How’s things?” I ask him as we walk into the apartment to join the others with the whirlwind that is my mother.

“Good, Son, really good. And can I just say, good luck tonight.” His deep little chuckle confirms what we already knew; Mum is so excited that she has been driving him crazy all day.

By the time I get to the others, Mum is fussing over saying hello to Felisha, and I can see Harper shrinking back a little.

That’s not like her at all, but I’m not about to let her feel uncomfortable around my family.

I step up behind her and place my hand on her lower back, feeling her lean into me without her even realizing she’s doing it.

“Mum, Dad, you remember Felisha’s best friend Harper who is my current house guest.” I can’t lie to my parents, so I didn’t even bother with introducing her as my friend, because she is fast becoming so much more.

“Harper, my dear, how are you?” And I wasn’t even thinking about my mother and how everyone she meets gets a hug, and the moment she goes to drag Harper into her arms, I pull Harper toward me.

“I think dinner is ready, let’s head to the table,” I announce, dragging Harper behind me and leaving everyone there just staring at us.

Pulling out her chair, I almost shove Harper down into it before pulling out the chair Mum is to sit in. “You can sit here, Mum.” Her seat is at the other end of the table from both me and Harper.

“Forrest,” Harper growls under her breath at the same time my mother is also calling my name.

“Forrest, what’s the hurry?” she asks as she walks to the table. Flynn has taken her bag from her and is looking at me like I’m such an idiot, and I have to agree with him right now. “I didn’t even get to say a proper hello to Harper. I’m so sorry, my dear, I taught him better manners than that. He must be ‘hangry,’ you know, when men get angry because they are hungry.” She giggles to herself as she sits in the chair almost to hide how uncomfortable I have just made it for everyone.

“So, it’s not just Flynn that gets that way,” Felisha jokes as she takes a seat too. “Now I know it must be a Taylor thing.” Looking at me, she gives me a wink like she understands what I was trying to do by protecting Harper so she wasn’t ambushed by my mother.

I might have been hard on Felisha when I first met her because I was worried that Flynn was being pulled into a huge mess and that she was all wrong for him. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

They are perfect together, and we have started to form a strong bond between us. She has my back, and I will always have hers. But the way she is looking at me now, I have a feeling that she and I will be getting closer as we will start to share Harper’s protection, who we both care deeply for. I think Felisha has carried that responsibility for a long time, but it’s time to share the load.

Flynn is busy in the kitchen plating up dinner, and we all know it’s safer to stay away from him when the chef is trying to make the plates all pretty.

I don’t care what it looks like as long as it tastes good.

I’m busy pouring the wine that Flynn brought with him to match the meal.

Luckily the moment the food hits the table, it slows Mum down from her twenty questions that she was starting to warm up for. I tried not to laugh at Harper as Mum asked her the first question about why she was staying with me. Harper answered quickly that there was a problem with her renovation, and she needed a temporary place to stay, and then straight away, she asked Felisha something about the wedding, which turned my mum inside out with excitement.

Now that we have settled into the dinner, the conversation is flowing nicely, and I can relax a little. Topics have ranged from, of course, the wedding, to work, to travels, and then Felisha offered my parents to stay at her villa in St. Tropez if they ever want a few nights away. Which of course my mum nearly jumped out of the chair to hug her she was that excited. Flynn and I have sent them on a few holidays that we paid for, but my dad is not a huge traveler, plus he is still working. We wanted him to retire early, but he wouldn’t have it. He has passed retirement age, but I think he likes his job, and the truth be known, he is probably worried about being with mum twenty-four seven.

Harper and I make our way to the kitchen to prepare dessert where she looks down at her pie.

“It looks shit.” Her confidence from earlier today has diminished.

“Stop being so hard on yourself. It looks great, and I can’t wait to taste it.” I put my hand on hers on the counter. She doesn’t pull away, and I think she appreciates the reassurance.

“Where is the mousse?” she asks as I stand beside her, slicing up the lemon meringue pie.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? That’s not for dinner. That’s my dessert for later tonight. The one I intend to eat off your body,” I reply in a low voice only she will hear.

The hitch in her breath is enough for me to know that I have taken her mind off her pumpkin pie. Not giving her time to worry any more about it, I pick up both pies and carry them to the table.

“Harper made a special pumpkin pie that is her mother’s recipe. A true American specialty. Who would like a piece to try?” I pick up the pie server, and before Harper can say a word, Felisha jumps in.

“Oh my God, I love your mum’s pumpkin pie. I used to love going to your house every year for Thanksgiving. They had all these foods we don’t really do in England, plus Lori is an amazing cook too. You are in for a real treat.” She holds up her plate for me to put a piece on it for her.

I can see Harper sitting nervously, waiting as my mum takes her first bite.

“Harper, sweetheart, this is divine. I can’t believe I have waited this long in my life to taste this sort of pie. You must give me the recipe, or is it a family secret? All the good recipes usually are.” My mum gives a chef’s kiss gesture to Harper, and I can see her light up on the inside.

She might tell me that we are just a fling, but she was desperate to impress my mum, and to me, that is a woman who wants to stick around in this family.

And I couldn’t be happier.

As we all devour dessert and lean back in our chairs, full of sugar, Mum picks up her glass of wine and looks toward Harper and me.

“So, how long have you two being sleeping together?”

I choke on my red wine and spray it across the white tablecloth.

Flynn bursts out laughing and thumps the table with delight.

“Marion, you can’t say things like that.” Dad takes the wine glass out of her hand, and Harper is still in total shock.

And all I can say to reply is, “I told you it would be written all over my face.”

To which Harper bursts out laughing, thankfully. “You win.” She looks at me.

“I usually do.” I pull her to me and kiss her hard.