The Attraction

Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

FORREST

S he’s about to run, and I know I’m not going to be able to stop her.

I can feel it in my bones.

The moment the word love was voiced, I could see her unraveling, and as much as I tried to stop her, that wall in her eyes reappeared. The one I’ve worked so hard to destroy, but just a simple word and it starts to return.

I tried to explain to her who we are together in the way I know she understands, with hard and heavy sex, the kind that a one-night stand gives you. I tried to hold back my emotion, but I don’t think it made any difference.

The truth is Felisha’s right.

I’ve fallen in love with Harper.

I know it, and Harper does too.

What Harper doesn’t realize is that she may think she can walk away from me and that I’ll let her go. But she’s wrong.

I haven’t waited all my life to finally feel like this only to let her slip through my fingers that easily, just because she is scared. She can put distance between us, and I’ll let her do that initially, but just like she likes to tell people when she talks about us, it’ll be temporary.

I told her that I would walk away if she needed me to, but it doesn’t mean I won’t keep coming back. Because I’m not giving up on her, and I’m certainly not leaving her unprotected while this lunatic is out there.

Watching her walk down the hallway in the apartment after telling me she is off to shower, I start messaging the guys and tell them to be prepared that she is about to run from me. I’ve never been this open with my friends, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Flynn and I discuss moving her things to his place during the day tomorrow once she makes her decision in the morning. To be honest, she has already made her decision, she is just trying to work out how to tell me, or if she does at all. It could be a case of coming home to an empty guest room and a note on the kitchen counter. A small percentage of me wants to think I’m wrong, that she’ll stay, but deep down, I know I’m not.

Rem will assign a couple of permanent bodyguards with her no matter where she is. She can complain all she likes, but that is the choice she is making by leaving. He will coordinate with Sandon on that and make sure both the Kentwall and Darcy teams are working as one on this detail. I want everything prepared and ready to go.

While Nic tries to keep me calm, telling me that I need to give her the space to come back to me, it’s not really helping. This man is talking from experience with Tori who left him not long after they met, and luckily, it was short-lived. But this time with Harper, it’s different. Harper is in danger and has so much trauma that she’s trying to work through that leaving her to her own thoughts is not what she needs. And no one truly understands that but me.

She has no idea that every time something got hard, I distracted her. The cute names were perfect and just the simple act of making her do something fun, to step out of her comfort zone without realizing it. But the nighttimes are going to be the problem. Who is going to be there to hold her, to take away the fear? Make her feel safe and chase away the darkness?

I have one last night to convince her to stay, so I need to do this the right way. Whatever that is.

After showering where I do some of my best thinking, I approach her bedroom door, just wearing a loose pair of sleep pants hanging low on my hips and no shirt. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m going to use everything in my arsenal to remind her why we are good together. Even if she just wants my body, I can work with that.

Knocking gently, I hear her shuffling toward the door.

As she opens it, I can see her eyes are a little puffy, and I don’t doubt she has been crying in the shower.

“Ready for bed, birthday girl?” I ask, trying to keep it light even though we can both feel the heaviness between us.

“I’m tired. I think I might just sleep in here tonight.”

And straight away, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck spike up and my temper start to climb.

“Not happening. You’ll just wake in the night, and I’ll end up in here anyway. You will sleep with me, you need me.” I reach out to take her hand, but she pulls it back so quickly.

“I don’t need you,” she proclaims. “I chose to sleep in your room, but I can do this on my own. I have been surviving for twenty years without you, so like I said, I don’t need you. Good night.” Her words are all bluff, and I can see the anxiety of sleeping on her own written all over her face.

As she starts to close the door, I push my hand against it to stop her.

“Don’t do this, Harper, don’t shut me out. I know you are scared, but please just let me hold you. At least for tonight.” I’m trying so hard not to yell these words and have kept my voice as calm as I can, but it’s a struggle.

I can see in her eyes the internal fight she is having with herself. But her fear overcomes her stubbornness, and she lets go of the door and starts to push past me.

“Fine, but only because I want birthday sex.” The sassy attitude she puts on as a front to hide her insecurity comes out, and I step back, letting her past me.

Taking a deep breath to control my displeasure at her words, I do the same as her and resort to my default to distract her from thinking about her fears.

“Okay, cookie, as you wish.” I turn and follow her, listening to her groan at my name for her.

“I’m not food, for Christ’s sake,” she grumbles as she crawls into her side of our bed. Yes, it’s no longer my bed. From that first night I opened my arms to her, it was forever ours.

“Maybe I’m hungry?” I tease, watching her roll her eyes at me.

This is the game we play. We skirt around each other with banter, but tonight, it just feels different. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to back down. If Harper wants to go head-to-head, then I’m ready for the challenge.

“Then you better start working on finding something to feast on.” The fire behind her eyes is building. She may not want the love that I’m offering, but she is hungry for the high my touch can give her.

“You are full of sass tonight, aren’t you?” I stand beside her and look down on her beauty. This is not how I wanted tonight to go.

I need to take control.

“Maybe it’s because I know it irritates you.” And she’s right, but I’m not going to agree with her and let her win. If she thinks she can piss me off so it will be easier when she tries to walk away, then she’s wrong. If I only get one more night, then I’ll make sure I show her how I really feel. The hot and heavy she wanted didn’t work this afternoon, so now we do it my way.

“Oh, you can try to annoy me all you like, but that’s not how this night is going to go. It’s your birthday, and you deserve to be treated like the goddess you are. So, relax and let me worship you,” I say, dropping my sleep pants to the floor and stepping out of them. Without any underwear, my cock shows her how much it appreciates seeing her lying in our bed. Reaching for my phone on the side of the bed, I hit the playlist I made for her birthday night, because it’s just another way of telling her how I feel without having to say the words.

The words of “Room for 2” by Benson Boon start to fill the room, and I can see the shift in her. She knows what I’m trying to say to her, and as much as she wants to push me away, her heart is already mine.

She can try to wrap herself up and pretend it isn’t happening, but tonight, I’m laying myself bare for her, and she can make the choice to truly feel it all or not.

As I kneel on the bed beside her, I can see her chest rising to take a deep breath, trying to stay calm, but the closer I get to her, the light sheen of sweat that she always gets when she is turned on starts to cover her body, and that’s all the sign I need.

My fingers start working on the silk pajama shirt, opening one button at a time but in no rush.

“I love these,” I purr, running my finger down through the opening I have just created in her shirt. “These are the same ones you had on that first night you showed me your true self.” Leaning over, I start to kiss down that same opening as I push each side of the top back. “When you showed me what beauty you had been hiding from me.” Her breathing hitches as my tongue starts to slide toward her right breast. “And what a sensual, sexy woman was waiting for me.” I circle her nipple with my tongue and then take her breast into my mouth, sucking it as I bite down on the nipple with just the slightest pressure, but enough to bring that moan from her that always does things to me.

The sound of the pop as I release it has her hand rising on instinct to my head and wrapping my hair through her fingers, trying to hold me there for more, but I have a whole body to memorize tonight, and I’m only just beginning.

I pull back from her and slide each arm out of her shirt. Her eyes are fixated on my cock that is lying on her bare stomach as I lean over her to get the second breast. And then her back arches like she’s on autopilot for me to pull the shirt out from under her where she was still lying on top of it.

“You have the most perfect breasts. Just how I like them.” I stroke my thumbs over her nipples as I cup them in each hand, leaning forward again and peppering each breast with kisses that sometimes involve the softest nip with my teeth.

“Forrest,” Harper calls out my name the more I move my hands around her. “You need to fuck me!” Her voice is getting more urgent, but it makes no difference because I’m not racing forward, no matter what she demands.

“Oh, we did that already twice today. Tonight is different.” Reaching up and kissing her ever so softly, I take her bottom lip between my teeth and pull it toward me, before letting it slip free. “Tonight is about feeling… every… damn… piece… of me.” I release her breasts and place my hands on either side of her face. “Including my heart.”

I slam my mouth down on hers as I swallow down her gasp, not giving her a chance to reply. She grabs at my bare back, and neither of us are holding back as she opens up for me so I can explore her mouth with my tongue. Dueling like we are both trying to take the lead, but she has no chance against me tonight.

I know what we both need, and I’m going to give it to her.

Coming up for air, her body is already quivering with want, and I can see the beautiful pink blush that is starting to cover her skin. The one that I put there. I need to see it everywhere. Harper might try to deny herself the depth of her feelings, but she can’t hide it from me.

Pulling at the sides of her shorts, I start to slide them and her panties down in one go. She raises her hips as they glide over her glistening pussy, and I drag them quickly past her knees. Balling them up in my hand, I turn and open the drawer on the beside cabinet.

“I think I might keep these,” I say, tucking them inside and sliding the drawer closed, much to Harper’s complaining.

“No, they’re my favorite,” she cries out.

“I know, that’s why they belong in my drawer. Then they are nice and close for the nights you spend in this bed.” I make a point to say that unless she is sleeping here with me, then she doesn’t get them back.

“You need more than a pair of pajamas to keep me here.” Her words remind me of the thoughts in her head.

“Oh, by the time I’m finished with you tonight, you won’t ever want to leave.” My voice is becoming raspy with the desire that I have building inside me. Sliding the condom on that I had also grabbed from the drawer, I move back onto the mattress, hovering my body above hers. Holding myself on my elbows, I take one more kiss of her perfect lips before I start inching down her body, enjoying every single bit of her.

“This is what you are going to start dreaming of when you aren’t near me. My lips tasting you, just like this.” I take another taste of the skin of her stomach, wanting to mark her, but I know it will be too much for her to see every day. When the time is right, I will absolutely leave my marks to remind her about the ecstasy of when I gave them to her. “Your daydreams are going to be filled with visions of my head right here between your legs.” I take a long slow swipe of my tongue up through her pussy. “You can’t deny me, can you, Harper. You brain might be telling you one thing, but your body is telling you more.”

I look up one last time into her eyes as she takes in the view from above.

“Don’t do this to me, Forrest.” Her words sound like she is in pain, but it’s not from how I’m touching her. It’s her own turmoil that is pulling at her.

“Do what, remind you that you’re mine? That this is not just playing around anymore.” Moving my hands, I push her thighs farther apart as I make myself comfortable. “Because we both know it never was.”

“Oh fuck,” she screams as my mouth closes over her hard nub. My tongue pushes down on it as I start running my finger up and down over her hole. Her body starts moving, and as much as she wants to close her legs around my head, I hold her back, making her feel this, every single sensation.

“I can’t do this,” Harper shouts at me as her head thrashes around, but I’m not letting up until she is flooding my mouth with her first orgasm and feeling her release.

“I know you can. No matter how intense the pressure is, it’s worth feeling it, Harper. You want this, you just need to give in.” Every word we are throwing at each other at the height of desire means so much more than the intensity of this sex.

Pushing a finger inside her and sucking hard on her swollen nub is all it takes to drive her over the edge into her blissful place. But I’m not stopping there.

I move over top of her again before she has a chance to come down too far from the euphoria, and I kiss her hard, mixing my tongue with hers. Coating her lips so she can taste what I do to her. Planting the memory inside her of how I make her feel.

“Don’t close your eyes. You need to see me while I make you scream my name.” I demand that she lets me see the emotion she is trying to hide from me.

My cock is so hard that the moment I push against her entrance, there is no holding back or going slow like I was planning. Now it’s me that’s barely able to stop myself from closing my own eyes. Every muscle in my body is on fire, and the electricity that is racing through me has my skin tingling.

“This is who we are.” My first pound into her has her head dropping back and her mouth falling open.

“Ohhhhh,” she moans, and it spurs me on.

“We are one, joined in a way you can’t untie.” I’m moving in a rhythm that has her singing to me, and she starts mumbling words. It makes no sense, just a collection of emotions that are bubbling from her.

“That’s it, gorgeous, feel me everywhere.” My cock hits deep inside her, and her tight little pussy starts to squeeze me, the ripples of her muscles letting me know she is getting close.

“Forrest, I can’t hold back,” she cries out, and I see trying so hard to keep her eyes open, even though she wants to close them to hide the love she feels for me. It’s there, buried deep inside, but I see it.

“Then don’t. Fuck, Harper, don’t hold back from me.” I groan as we both fall into the depths of an intense orgasm that joins our emotions together.

As I fall onto her body and roll us both over so I’m on my back and she is lying limp on top of me, I whisper into the dark night.

“Stay.” It’s just one word but so important to me.

“I couldn’t move my body if I tried,” she mumbles into my chest, and although it’s not what I meant, it will do for now.

HARPER

You would think being fucked within an inch of your life would make you sleep, but apparently not.

Initially I slipped into that post-orgasmic coma that had me floating in a peaceful place, but it’s now 4:27 am on my phone, and I’m lying here listening to Forrest’s soft breaths and wondering what the hell I should do.

I told him in the beginning not to fall in love with me, but he didn’t listen, and to be honest, I didn’t listen to my own words either.

Relationships aren’t my thing I said and asked him what would happen if I never reached the same page as him.

But I have!

I’ve fallen in love with Forrest Taylor, and I don’t fucking know what to do with that.

This was never meant to happen because love only brings hurt and heartache. And I don’t want that for either of us. My head is telling me to run, but my heart is begging me to just try. What if this time it doesn’t cripple me with pain. What if I deserve to feel happy.

Like I’m good enough to have someone fight for me. To hold me in a place of the purest love that should never break me the way my father did.

I like the burn in my heart every time Forrest looks at me. He doesn’t even have to touch me, and I know what he is feeling.

And the strangest thing about all of this is that I have some crazy man out there stalking me and my biggest fear tonight is that I’ve fallen in love with someone. That makes no sense, but it’s the truth.

Love scares me more than someone who could kill me.

Cherie is right. I’m fucked up and need to sort my shit out.

Maybe I should just stay a little longer. Because I know this is all about me and has nothing to do with Forrest. He knows what he wants, and after last night, it’s fairly obvious that it’s me. And I can’t deny that I want him too, but I need to know he’s not going to hurt me.

If only the universe could promise me that I’m doing the right thing if I stay.

My poor brain is totally drained from all this overthinking, and as I feel like sleep is about to claim me, I ask for whatever that thing is out there that guides our lives, fate or intuition, to send me some kind of sign and answer my simple question.

Should I stay or should I go?

Because right now, I want to follow my heart and take the biggest risk of my life.

I want to be loved enough that I feel safe to stay.

* * *

Waking to an empty bed was not what I was expecting, and as I feel across the sheets, they are cold, so Forrest has been up for a while.

I know it’s Monday morning, and although we had the most amazing weekend and I didn’t think about work for one moment, it doesn’t mean it’s the same for today. Regardless of my personal struggles, I need to get myself together and go to the office for another chaotic day. Because as much as we say we don’t work on the weekends, we absolutely do, and to have ignored my emails now for two days means there will be a mountain of them when I open my computer this morning. And Forrest will be the same, which is probably why he is up and already in his office.

I need to shower first, and then I will go and find him. Besides the last few hours of last night, the rest of my birthday weekend was a celebration that I will never forget, and that’s all because of him. I need to thank him properly because I don’t think the way I spoke to him last night really let him know how much I appreciated it.

Although I feel fragile and still not sure what I should do as I dress and apply my makeup, the more I look at myself in the mirror, I’m convincing myself that I deserve to at least feel love and try and see if I can get past my fears.

“I can do this.” Taking a deep breath, I turn from the mirror and pick up my bag and walk out of my room and down the hallway toward his office.

The closer I get, I can hear his fingers typing on his keyboard. And the moment I stop in the doorway, his eyes are on me and his hands are still. It’s almost like he is studying me.

I know he can read me, and yesterday he knew what was happening the moment I started to spiral. He could have pushed me to talk about it, but he also knows that doesn’t work for me. So instead, he tried with everything he had to show me how he feels. Because words freak the fuck out of me but actions I can cope with. Last night’s actions I could cope with over and over again, but they aren’t my problem.

Emotions are so much harder to deal with.

But I’m trying to brave and stay, it’s what he was begging for last night, and I think I owe him that much.

“Morning,” I say without my usual confidence, and I can see he is wary as he stands and walks toward me.

Tentatively he leans down and kisses my forehead. “Good morning, beautiful.” And sadly, his voice isn’t soft like it normally would be when he says that. It’s devoid of emotion at all, and I feel awful because I know I’ve done that to him. He is trying to protect himself because he doesn’t know where he stands with me.

It’s my job to reassure him that for now we will be okay.

“I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing and thoughtful birthday weekend. I have never had anything like that, and I will never forget what you did for me. I felt very special and that’s a first for me, so thank you again.” And doing something that is totally pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I take the step forward into his body and wrap my arms around him tightly, initiating the hug, which totally catches him off guard, I can tell.

“I want to give you the world,” he whispers because he isn’t game to say it out loud.

“I know,” I reply just as quietly into his chest where my face is buried.

We both stand there in silence for a few minutes just trying to gain our balance in the morning air, and just as I step away to tell him what is racing around my mind, every part of that balance is torn out from under me as he says these few small words.

“You are my little snuggle bug now, aren’t you.” He smiles at his next name on the list he has been playing, but he will never understand how that name just sealed our fate.

I asked for a sign, and the universe delivered.

To hear my father’s favorite pet name, the one he used to call me, for the first time in twenty years has smashed my heart into tiny pieces.

“Harper?” His voice is deeper, and the serious tone tells me he can see the fear on my face and has no idea what he said that has changed the moment we were having.

I back away from him, one step at a time, and he reaches out to stop me, but I can’t let him touch me. The moment his fingers grasp me, it’s like a burn that I remember. The way it was before he broke down my wall.

No, not again, I can’t do this again. I need to get out of here. I should have listened to my head last night. Logically I knew I could never love another man again, but my heart tricked me into believing it was possible. Well, that stupid heart is now smashed to a pulp just like last time. But I know the signs now, and the only way to stop this pain is to get as far away from it as I can.

I push his hand off me to ease the pain. “No, please don’t.” Holding back the tears, I see the confusion buried deep in the lines on his forehead, but his eyes tell me he knows what is happening. The love I saw last night has gone, and there is anger and pain.

“Harper, don’t do this.” He is trying not to yell, but the growl is enough to tell me how he feels.

“I can’t, I tried, I just can’t.” My feet are moving toward the door in a backwards shuffle until I almost trip and spin so I’m facing down the hallway, trying to get to the front door. The place I need to escape, to be free so I can breathe.

I hear his footsteps behind me the closer I get to the door, but I just wish he would yell at me. That, I know how to handle, but not this tender side of him that he has totally opened up to me since I’ve been here. That’s the man I can’t bear to hurt.

The instant I place my hand on the door handle, I know that no matter what I do from this moment going forward, it’s already too late, I’ve already hurt him.

Lifting my head and turning to look at him one last time, the first tear starts to fall.

“You promised me you wouldn’t run.” His heart is begging me to stay.

“You promised me you’d let me go,” is all I can reply.

“Only temporarily.” He throws my favorite words back at me, and it’s like a punch to the gut. Now I know how it made him feel when I said it to him, time and time again. “You’re mine, and nothing will ever change that.”

The pause has me turning the door handle and pulling the door, because the love pouring from his soul is stealing every bit of oxygen from around me. I have to go.

I can’t stay any longer.

“I needed you just as much as you needed me. That’s what love is, Harper, so I’ll be waiting here when you’re ready. When you remember that the pain of being together is better than the pain of being apart.” And for the first time ever, I see a lone tear fall down his cheek, and I can’t hold it together anymore.

Quickly stepping into the corridor, I close the door behind me with a bang, and the tears pour down my face like the dam has finally broken.

I press the button on the elevator like a demon, wanting the doors to open before he has a chance to chase me. But there is no sound of his front door opening as the elevator opens in front of me. And the moment I step in, I feel a presence that I’m not alone. One of our security team in his black suit steps in behind me, pressing the button to close the doors.

Not looking back toward me, he gives me the privacy to sob on my own. But just him being here, ready and waiting for me to leave this morning, has the words in my head repeating over and over again.

He knew I was leaving.

And I don’t know what hurts more. That I’m walking away from the one man I finally allowed myself to love, or that he is letting me go.