CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO THEO
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
THEO
“Simms, I need to talk to you,” Frost says, nodding his head toward the opposite wall of the tunnel as the rest of the guys walk into the locker room.
I stare back at our assistant coach, my spine rigid as I step to the side with him. My brow furrows, confusion washing over me. I glance down the hall. Where the fuck is Lucy? “Yeah?”
During the first period, I noticed her absence, but also knew I couldn’t let it pull me out of the game. It’s the first intermission. She should be here with Tucker.
“It’s Lucy,” Frost says softly, his lips pressing into a flat line. My breath hitches, my heart hammering harder. “Her water broke. Elena and Tella took her to the hospital.”
My word tilts. I don’t breathe. “What?” Panic swells inside my chest. “Is she okay? What do you know?” I stare at him, my eyes wide, voice demanding. “What’s going on?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know much else. I’m sorry.”
“I have to go.” My legs start to move without even thinking. “I have to go,” I repeat, frantically, shaking my head. The baby isn’t supposed to come for another month. “I need to get to her.”
“Go ahead,” Coach Frost says behind me as I’m already walking into the locker room. “We’ll adjust things and make do.”
The room grows silent as I march over to my stall, tossing my helmet onto the floor and pulling my jersey off in haste. “What’s going on, Theo?” Matty asks, his voice quiet.
“Lucy’s in labor.”
That’s all I need to say for everyone to understand why I’m undressing in record time.
Cross walks over, his hand landing on my shoulder. “Leave your stuff, someone will get it.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, my eyes burning as I look at him.
“Yeah, of course,” he says softly. Shaw’s already bending over, picking up my jersey that I discarded. “Go be with her. Keep us updated, okay?”
I swallow hard over the lump lodged in my throat. “Okay, yeah. Thanks, guys.”
“We love you, bro.” Shaw smiles, hanging up my skates. They all nod in agreement, repeating the same three words.
“Love you guys,” I mumble, throwing on a pair of shorts, T-shirt and an Ice Hawks sweatshirt before I grab my keys and phone and head out of the room. As soon as I’m in the hallway, I break out into a jog, not stopping until I’m outside in the parking lot, getting into my car.
The entire drive to the maternity hospital is a blur.
I’m on autopilot, racing to get to her. By the time I reach the hospital, my chest feels like it’s going to explode.
I’ve had a few anxiety attacks before in my life and the way I’m feeling right now…
it’s more intense than any attack I’ve ever had.
The doors are still opening as I move through them. Fluorescent lights overhead hum and my hands shake as I stride to the front desk in the waiting room. A gray-haired woman looks up, smiling as she sees me.
“Can I help—”
“My girlfriend,” I interrupt breathlessly, my knuckles turning white as I grip the edge of the counter. “I need to see my girlfriend.”
My pulse races and my stomach knots with nausea. Guilt sits heavily on my chest. I should have been there with her when it happened. I shouldn’t be showing up late like this. How could we have possibly anticipated this? She’s only thirty-six weeks. We thought we had four more weeks to prepare.
It’s too early.
“What is her name?”
“Lucy Taylor. She came in about an hour ago.”
Recognition flashes across her face. “Oh, yes, of course.” She nods eagerly, glancing at her computer. “They’re prepping her for surgery now. We need to get you back there immediately.”
Everything comes to a screeching halt. Fear punches my chest and I grip the counter tighter to keep from swaying.
“Surgery?”
She gives me a curt nod as she pushes back her chair. She moves quickly around the end of the desk. “Come now.”
“What happened? Why are they taking her back for surgery?”
She holds her keycard to a pad on the wall and the light flashes green as the doors open to the labor and delivery unit. “The doctor will explain everything.” Her footsteps are quick and my stomach is in a tangled knot as I follow her.
The hallway feels like it stretches for an eternity. It’s bright and cold and smells like disinfectant. My heart pounds harder, thrumming against its cage. It’s a wonder how it hasn’t burst through my ribs already.
At the end of the hall, a group of medical professionals dressed in baby blue rush out of a room, their movements swift as two people wheel a bed out into the hallway. My heart crawls into my throat and every ounce of air leaves my lungs as I see her.
Lucy’s auburn hair is tucked beneath a surgical cap. She looks so small in the bed, buried beneath white hospital blankets. I can’t help it as I break out into a jog, fear gripping my throat. “Lucy.”
She jerks her head, her eyes red, tears streaking her cheeks as I rush toward her. Her entire face crumples with relief as our eyes lock. “Oh my god,” she sobs. “Theo.”
I reach her just as they stop outside the doors that lead into the hall for the operating rooms. “I’m here, love,” I murmur, bending over her, my hands and lips on her face. “I’m here.”
She cries softly, kissing me back before her ice-cold fingers wrap around my wrists. “I’m so sorry,” she sobs, shaking her head, her chin trembling. “I don’t know how this happened. It shouldn’t even be happening.”
My heart shatters as her apology pierces my chest.
“Baby, no,” I breathe, stroking the sides of her face, wiping her tears away. “None of this is your fault. No one could have predicted this would happen.”
“The baby’s breech,” she explains in a rush. “There was no way to stop the premature labor, and a C-section is the safest option.”
I cup the sides of her face, kissing her forehead, ignoring the panic climbing my spine. “It’s okay, baby.” My voice cracks, pressing my lips to her damp forehead again. “Everything is going to be okay.”
A hand gently touches my shoulder. “Are you Dad?”
I pull away from Lucy, glancing at the nurse beside me. “Yes.”
“We need to get her back,” she says with a hint of urgency that has my pulse skyrocketing. “The sooner we get the baby delivered, the better for her and the baby.”
“She’ll be okay?” I ask immediately, my voice barely audible.
She gives me a reassuring nod. “They’re both stable right now, but we can’t waste any more time.”
I hate the way she words it.
Another nurse appears, handing me a bundle of blue surgical scrubs, a cap and booties for my shoes. “You can come with us after you get changed. We’re going to take her in now and when you’re ready one of the other nurses will bring you in.”
Lucy reaches for me instinctively. Her eyes are filled with fear. “Theo.”
“I’m right here, love. I need to get changed and I’ll be right in.” I swallow hard. “I love you, Luce. Everything is going to be okay.”
I swear to fucking god, if anything happens to her, everyone in this operating room will pay.
“I love you,” she says softly, her fingers leaving mine as they begin to wheel her away.
My hands are shaking and my movements are clumsy as I slip on the scrubs, covering my still damp hair with the cap and slide the booties over my shoes. The smell of hockey and sweat clings to me, but I don’t care. Showering was the last thing on my mind before getting to her.
“Ready?” the nurse asks as she hands me a surgical mask.
My pulse is so loud I can barely hear her speak. I nod and she leads me into the room. Lucy’s in the center of the room, lying on the table, her arms positioned in a T away from her body. The room feels crowded, but I don’t see anyone but her.
Someone pulls up a chair beside her head where our view of her chest down is blocked by a blue surgical drape. I sit down beside her, my hands cupping the sides of her face. “I’m here.”
Her glassy eyes find mine instantly. Her pupils are like pinpoints, undoubtedly from the medications they’re administering for surgery. “Hi,” she breathes. “I can’t feel my toes.”
I smile. “I think that’s a good thing.”
“A very good thing.” The anesthesiologist chuckles as he moves around the top of Lucy’s body. “We don’t want you to feel a thing.”
Lucy smiles, but it fades as her eyes meet mine again. “I’m so scared, Theo.”
“You got this. You are so strong and I know you can do this.”
She releases a shallow breath. “They said the baby looks good so they’re hopeful she’ll be okay even though she’s a few weeks early.”
I stroke the sides of her face. “She’s going to be okay,” I whisper, not fully trusting my voice. We truly have no idea, but I have to believe she will be.
The monitors are beeping and the medical team do their last checks before they begin. I sit beside her head, my hands stroking her face as the monitors beep quietly around us. The tension in the room is palpable, and Lucy’s eyes are locked on mine.
“You’re doing so good.”
She lets out a shaky breath, her eyes closing. I focus on her, only her. There’s a low murmur of medical terms on the other side of the curtain, although I can’t fully make out any of their words. Lucy’s body shifts on the table from the surgeons and the room shifts.
“Okay, we’ve almost got her,” one of the doctors says. My entire body stills.
Another chuckles. “She wants to stay in there, Mom.”
Lucy’s breathing grows ragged and panic cracks through her words. “Is she okay?”
There’s a moment of silence. A pregnant fucking pause that leaves so much uncertainty hanging around us. My heart isn’t even beating at this point. They lower the drape, just a few inches and a sharp cry slices through the sterile air in the operating room.
The doctor laughs, lifting our daughter for Lucy and I to see. Holy shit, she’s here. Auburn hair is plastered to her head and her cheeks are red, fists clenched. My god, this is real. Relief floods me and my body practically sags.
Lucy falls apart. “Oh my god,” she sobs, tears streaking down the sides of her face.
They lift the curtain again and lower the baby, who cries louder.
“You did it, baby,” I breathe, turning back to her peppering kisses across her face. Tears blur my vision. “You fucking did it.”
“She’s crying.” She gasps, panic again in her voice. “That’s a good thing, right?”
Tears fall from my eyes and I laugh softly. “I think so.”
Lucy’s smile reaches her eyes, and they shimmer with tears beneath the fluorescent lights. My heart aches at the way she looks at me like that. Like it’s only her and I. Like it will only ever just be us.
The next few minutes are a whirlwind. I’m led away from Lucy, but only for a brief minute to cut the cord.
The baby’s face is red and she’s a little spitfire, angry and crying.
The nurses chuckle as they clean her up, assuring me she’s measuring perfectly, all her scores are good and there’s no need for her to go to the NICU.
I’m in absolute awe. I can’t form a coherent thought. This really just happened.
She’s really here.
They lead me back to Lucy, who’s lying in the same place I left her as the doctors work on her abdomen, cleaning her up and getting the incisions closed. The nurse approaches with our baby girl tightly cocooned in a pink blanket, wearing the tiniest pink and purple striped hat.
“She’s doing so well.” The nurse smiles, looking back and forth between us. “She’s a tiny little gal, but a healthy one.”
Lucy lets out a sob of relief. “I was so worried.”
The nurse slowly lowers the baby against Lucy’s chest. The air around us softens and warmth spreads through my chest. Lucy stares at her, tears in her eyes. “She’s so beautiful,” she whispers.
“Just like you,” I murmur, scooting closer. Lucy’s eyes flick to mine before looking back at our little girl, staring at her in wonderment, almost as if she can’t believe she’s here.
I can’t believe it.
I look down at our daughter, my heart growing inside my chest. She’s so perfect. So beautiful. So fucking amazing. The ends of her hair poke out from her hat and her dark lashes rest against the tops of her puffy cheeks.
A little mini-Lucy. A replica of my favorite person.
Oh my god, I’m in love.
“Do you want to hold her, Dad?”
Fear hits me in the pit of my stomach. “I—she’s so little.”
“You got her,” the nurse assures me, her voice soft. “She’s little but strong.”
Lucy’s glassy eyes are on me, love swirling in her blue irises. I let out a ragged breath, carefully sliding my arms beneath the baby, lifting her against my chest. She’s so light in my arms. So warm and so fragile. I cradle her spine, supporting her head like the nurse shows me.
She settles against me and my chest cracks wide open. Holy shit. Tears blur my vision and Lucy cries tears of joy, her cheeks damp and smile tender. I look down at our daughter, my gaze slowly scanning her features, memorizing every inch of her face.
Emotion hits me heavy in the chest and as I stare down at our perfect little girl, the entire world tilts. Nothing beyond these four walls matters anymore.
Just Lucy and our baby. Only them.