CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR THEO
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
THEO
If someone would have told me a week ago that Lucy and I would be coming home today with a brand-new baby, I would’ve told them they were crazy.
I glance in the rearview mirror, my heart melting in my chest as I see Lucy in the middle seat, her eyes locked on Rosie, who’s quiet in the infant seat. The drive home from the hospital should have only taken us twenty minutes, but with how slow I drove, it took us at least forty.
I’ve never driven with such precious cargo in the car before.
Lucy lifts her gaze to mine through the mirror, a soft smile lifting the corners of her lips. “Are you ready to go inside?”
“Yeah.” I nod, my heart galloping in my chest. We pulled into the garage five minutes ago and have been quietly sitting here with the engine off since. “Don’t move,” I tell her, pinning my gaze on hers as I push open my door.
We left the hospital with strict instructions for her not lifting anything heavier than the baby. Those doctors are crazy if they think I’ll let her lift a fucking paperclip at this point. Her healing and being comfortable are of the utmost importance, other than Rosalie.
I climb out of the car, softly shutting the door before walking to the back seat where the baby is. I pull open the door and detach her seat, slowly and carefully lifting it into the air. She doesn’t stir, undoubtedly in a milk coma after Lucy fed her right before we left.
“Leave all the bags,” I tell her, my eyes narrowing. I know this woman better than the back of my hand. She’s stubborn and fiercely independent and she’d better not try to carry anything other than herself.
She huffs and mutters something under her breath, but I don’t catch it as she slowly climbs out of the car. She holds a pillow against her abdomen, which has seemed to be good for support over her incision so far.
Lucy leads the way into the house and as the door clicks shut behind us, I find myself momentarily frozen in place.
For a second, I stand there with the car seat hanging from my hand, sucking in a deep breath.
Rosie stirs in the carrier, and I look down at her, tucked under a soft blanket with her little pink hat pulled over her head.
Holy shit.
This is real. She’s real.
Lucy stands in the doorway that leads into the kitchen, turning her body, her eyes finding mine. Her hair is pulled back in a braid with tendrils free around her face. She’s wearing one of my hoodies with the Hillford Ice Hawks logo on the front and a pair of loose sweatpants.
Even with the bags beneath her eyes and the exhaustion knitted in her features, she’s fucking breathtaking.
There’s an uncertainty lingering in her gaze and I want to wash it away. I hate that she still looks at me like that sometimes, as if she’s waiting for me to change my mind. Like she half-expects me to decide I don’t want any of this.
I want all of this. Her, Rosie, us.
“Are you coming?” she asks quietly.
Something snaps into place inside my brain. “Yeah.”
My feet move before my mind can process and I follow her farther into the house. Everything looks as it did five days ago, but it just feels different than it did before. Before, the place belonged to me. Lucy moved in and it became our home.
And now it’s Rosie’s home too. The only home she’ll ever know.
The thought hits me in the center of my chest and I abruptly stop. Lucy moves into the living room, her eyebrows drawing together as she sees me frozen just beyond the doorway.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head slowly, lifting my hat from my head. “Nothing.”
But it’s anything but nothing. It’s everything.
We spent months pretending we were together, building a fake life, when it was the farthest thing from fake. I’m not so sure I was ever pretending and at some point, she stopped pretending too. And now, here we are with a brand-new baby, and the world will only know me as her father.
As long as Lucy isn’t the one who changes her mind.
Lucy steps closer, her head tilting to the side, her gaze warm. “What’s going on? You can tell me.”
I swallow hard, my chest rising as I inhale deeply.
“I just—” I let out a ragged breath, raking my hand through my hair.
It’s all irrational, but I can’t stop the words as they come out without another thought.
“What if one day you don’t want this? What if one day you decide you don’t want me involved because she’s not biologically mine? ”
The inner edges of her eyebrows turn downward. “Babe, no,” she murmurs, shaking her head as she closes the distance between us, lifting her hands to cup the sides of my face. “I promise you, that will never happen. Your name is on her birth certificate. Biological or not, you are her father.”
A ragged breath escapes me as her words settle in the crevices of my mind.
It’s funny how in the blink of an eye, your entire world can be tilted off its axis.
Priorities shift and suddenly, the things that used to matter don’t…
And the things that you didn’t think would matter as much as they do become the most important.
“I don’t want to lose either of you.” I swallow hard. “Ever.”
Her hand leaves the side of my face and wraps around mine, still holding the baby carrier. “Can we set her down?”
A ghost of a smile dances across my lips as I bob my head. “Yeah, of course.”
Lucy’s hand lingers for a moment and then she moves out of my way as I walk into the living room, slowly and carefully setting down the baby carrier like I’m handling explosives. Lucy steps around me and is already passing through the doorway.
“Where are you going?”
She glances over her shoulder. “To get some water. Want one?”
“You come sit,” I say, turning and stepping closer to her. “You should rest. I can get it for you.”
She snorts softly, shaking her head. “I can do things for myself. It’s just a glass of water.”
“Nope.” I shake my head, blocking her way as I look down at her, sliding my hand around her waist. “You get comfy. I’ll get it.”
Lucy stares back at me for a moment before she folds. “Fine.” She chuckles softly, her blue eyes shining back at mine, even through the exhaustion. “You win.”
I lean down, pressing my lips to her forehead and release her. Her movements are slow and I hover in the doorway until she’s settled on the couch. I disappear into the kitchen, moving on autopilot as I grab her a glass of cold water and make my way back into the living room.
She’s not settled on the couch like I instructed, but instead she sits with a pillow over her abdomen, her body folded forward as she stares, transfixed, at Rosie sleeping peacefully in the carrier. Her gaze flicks to mine as I lower myself onto the cushion beside her.
She sighs quietly, taking the glass from me. “Thank you,” she whispers, taking a slow sip and I take it from her, setting it on the coffee table. Her shoulders relax, her eyes glassy as they meet mine. “I can’t believe we’re home and she’s here with us.”
“I know, baby.” I slide my hand instinctively over her lower back, rubbing small circles against her flesh. “It almost doesn’t feel real.”
She hikes her brows, her smile growing. “I know, right? It’s so surreal.”
My hand slides up to the nape of her neck and I lean in, pressing my lips to her temple. “I’m just glad both of my girls are good. You’re healing and she’s healthy.”
“Your girls,” she murmurs softly, her head turning to look at me. Her eyes slowly search mine, the emotion swirling in her irises and my throat tightens under her gaze.
“I love you, Lucy.”
She lets out a gentle breath, her hand lifting to cradle the side of my face. “I love you.”
I lean in, slow and gentle as my mouth finds hers. Her lips are soft and warm. I melt into her as she steals the air from my lungs. There’s nothing rushed about the way we kiss. It’s as if we have all the time in the world… and maybe, just maybe we do.
Rosie stirs in her carrier, letting out a small cry, breaking through the moment. A chuckle vibrates in my chest as I pull back from Lucy. Love swirls in the depths of her ocean blue eyes as she smiles back at me.
“Looks like someone’s awake.”
I’m already moving down to the carrier before Lucy can think about moving. “I’ll get her.”
Rosie’s face is scrunched up, her tiny fists going to her mouth. I carefully unbuckle the straps, sliding one hand under her bottom and the other cradling the back of her head as I lift her from the car seat and into my arms.
“It’s okay, Rosie,” I whisper, tucking her in against my chest, reveling in the way she feels. She’s so small and seems so fragile as I hold her to me. “I got you.”
And I mean it. Now, tomorrow and every day to come. I’m not going anywhere.
I slowly turn, catching Lucy’s gaze as she watches us from where she’s seated with so much emotion woven in her expression. “What?” I ask her softly.
A ghost of a smile dances across her lips and she shakes her head once. “Nothing.”
I arch a brow. “Liar.”
Her eyes are glassy. “You just—you love her so much already.”
“I do,” I say without hesitation. It’s something I can’t even explain. The way I feel for her is absolute. I’ve felt protective of her since first hearing her heartbeat, but the second I heard her cry in the operating room, something inside me locked into place.
She’s my responsibility.
They’re both mine to protect for the rest of my life.
Rosie slips her fingers into her mouth and starts sucking on them, letting out a grunting cry. I lower myself onto the couch and help Lucy get set up to nurse before handing the baby off to her. Lucy latches Rosie onto her breast, and I can’t tear my eyes away from the two of them.
Lucy looks at me, her eyes a mirror of my own. “Thank you for never leaving my side.”
“It’s where I’ll be for the rest of forever.”
She smiles back at me. “I like the sound of that.”
I tilt my head, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear. “Of what?”
Her eyes pour love into mine. “Forever.”
“Well, in case you didn’t know,” I murmur, pressing my lips to her forehead, “this thing between you and I? It’s a forever kind of thing, love.”
Her eyes are on mine as I pull back. “Promise?”
My breath catches, my chest aching as I lower my face to hers, my lips brushing hers, sealing our fate as I breathe her in. “I promise.”