Chapter Nine
Finn
We left the pool to check on the guys. Tyler and Jason were standing around a very ill-looking Miles.
Jason said, “Connor got him a shot, and he puked. I think we call it.”
“Where is Connor?” Ryder said as Connor came up behind us with water and a towel.
Miles said, “No. No way. You guys paid so much money to be here. I’m ok. I’m done drinking, maybe forever, but I’m ok.”
Ryder’s jaw flexed, and he shared a glance with Jason. “No, you need to go home and sleep this off. No use forcing yourself. We’ve had fun, but Jason is right. Time to call it.”
“Tough shit, I’m not leaving.” Miles coughed so hard it turned into a gag. We stood there watching for a second before he spoke again. “Too much fucking money. No way.”
Tyler sat next to Miles. “It’s expensive, yeah, but you need a bed, dude.”
Connor looked like he was going to be sick, too. He wouldn’t meet my or Ryder’s eyes. Instead, he spoke to Jason, “So sorry, man. He said he hadn't had another drink yet, and he looked okay.”
“I am okay!” Miles said. “My system just rejected it. But, boot and rally, right?”
Jason waved Connor off with a nod. “It’s not a big deal, and not your fault. We just need to convince Kilo here that he needs to sleep.” Connor slunk back and let the rest of us talk.
“What if I take him back, and you guys stay?” I said, finally stepping into my best man's duties on the last day.
“No, he’s my brother. I’ll take him back. I’m not drinking anymore anyway,” Ryder said.
Jason shrugged. “I can take him back. It’s not a big deal.”
Jason and Ryder stared at each other. No one wanted to leave Tyler and Connor unattended with a tab tied to all our cards.
“I’ll stay, you guys go,” Jason said. “We’ve got a few more hours left, anyway. Shame to waste it.”
That settled it, and Ryder got a rideshare. There were a bunch in the area, and we were out of there within five minutes. Getting Miles in it was a hell of a lot easier than the night before. Up to his room, too.
“Thanks, guys. You really are the best of men,” Miles said, lying in bed, about to pass out. He opened his mouth to go on, but stopped himself. Then said, “Please don’t let me sleep too late. We’re going to a nice dinner, right? I don’t wanna miss the last night.”
Ryder nodded. “Yeah, man. We’ll wake you up when they get back.”
“If they get back.” I laughed.
“Nah, Jason’s there,” Miles said. “They’ll be back in one piece. Hopefully.”
“Hopefully so will Jason’s peace of mind,” Ryder said.
It wasn’t lost, even on my oblivious self, that Ryder and I were alone. The guys were at the pool until that afternoon. We had hours to ourselves, with so much left to be said between us.
After walking to and waiting for the elevator in silence, Ryder said, “I’ve been dying to relax by that pool without them since we got here. Down?” I was surprised his first words to me weren’t something of substance.
I smiled, both relieved and not. “Yeah, man. Sounds good.”
We ordered drinks at the pool bar, a light beer for me, a Sprite for him, and found loungers far away from anyone else.
It was so fucking weird. There was all this tension between us, yet there wasn’t.
Ryder sucked my fucking cock the night before, then I’d said I wasn’t all the way straight, and…
he was just chill. Totally unbothered. Like there was nothing we needed to talk about.
“Oh shit,” Ryder said once we sat down.
“What?”
“Do you remember that girl from last night? Rickie?” His eyes stayed on his phone. “She just followed me.”
Was that his way of seeing what I remembered? Subtly bring it up? I didn’t know who he was talking about. What girl? There were no women in our room last night, that was for sure. And it was one of the hottest—wait…
I took out my phone. “I got a request this morning too, but had no idea who it was. Fuck. Yeah. Now I remember. I’ll follow back.”
“She was a hoot. They all were.” Ryder locked his phone.
“Yeah. Fun people.”
Ryder said nothing else and closed his eyes.
Maybe I was wrong? Or maybe my not remembering that random woman was enough of an answer for him?
I remembered her, but I could never forget dancing with him, grinding our hips together, feeling his…
I laid back and closed my eyes, too, before the memory got too visceral.
A few moments later, he said, “This place is actually really fucking nice.”
“Yeah, I was surprised Miles picked it. Not his style.” I glanced over at him.
Ryder turned to me with a stern face until it melted. “You really don’t know?”
“About what?”
“I picked this place, dude. I picked it and booked all the rooms. Planned everything myself, even after I told him it was too far and for too long.”
“No shit, really? Why?”
“He asked me to be his best man. Then unasked me.”
I sat up. “What? You’re fucking with me.”
He settled back and closed his eyes again. “Nope.”
“Why? Why would he do that?”
“You’ll have to ask him.”
“He told me you were too busy…”
Ryder’s single sharp laugh caused his shoulders to lift off the chair. “That’s what he said to me, too, that I was too busy. Everything already booked and planned. What the fuck ever.” He closed his eyes again and settled back.
I stared at him for a moment. That must’ve been why Ryder was so pissed at him. I would be too. I probably wouldn’t have even come on the trip if I were him.
“I’m…” I started and stopped. “I’m sorry. I’ll back down if you want. Kinda can’t believe he did that.”
Ryder turned to look at me. His face did some weird things. “Wouldn’t matter. If not you, then Tyler, I’m sure. Not him, Connor, and so on.”
“Seriously, what the fuck? I’m gonna say something to him. That’s not right.”
“No, man, please don’t.” Ryder’s gaze tensed, then relaxed. “I don’t wanna stir anything else up.” He closed his eyes again. “It’s shitty, but it is what it is.”
“I won’t, but I’m just saying, if it were me, I would’ve stayed home.”
“Trust me, I almost did. But he’s my little brother, and on the off chance this is his only bachelor party, I needed to be here.” Ryder snorted a laugh, and I chuckled. “It is what it is, man. Sometimes the people you love treat you shitty.”
“I guess so,” I said and settled back, too.
Why would Miles do that? Maybe he changed, and I was too dimwitted to see it? With what he said about that content shit, it wouldn’t be surprising. But… he was the closest person to me in the world. Always had my back in the way I had his... My chest inflated, like it would explode.
After stewing in silence for a few minutes, I couldn't let it go. “I have no idea why he wouldn't want to have you as his best man. You’re the perfect option. His brother, first of all. But also, you’re fantastic at planning shit and getting shit done. You’re the most dependable, responsible, respectable guy I’ve ever known. ”
“HA!” Ryder barked a laugh, then turned to me. His smile was… he just… Ryder was so goddamn handsome. My stomach fluttered.
He said, “Yup, that’s me. I’m always there for people.” He laughed once. “Just wish people were there for me too sometimes.”
I was about to say that he had people like Miles, or even me. But after what he just shared, Miles wouldn’t be great to bring up. And I might want to, but I didn’t know him well enough to be there for him. Not how he meant.
So instead, I stuck my foot in my mouth. “Are they not?”
He turned to me, then back. “Of course they are, man. I love my friends and family, and they’re good people. If I ever needed anything, serious shit or little shit, they’d be there in a heartbeat. Even my brother.”
“Then why’d you say that?”
Ryder was quiet for a second. When he spoke, something was missing. Or there was something new. “I guess…” He chuckled. “I guess I don’t want to need anything. Or can’t. It’s…” He looked at me, then away again. “Never mind. It’s stupid. You don’t want to hear me bitch.”
“I do,” I said. His eyes met mine, and for the first time, there was something close to painful on his face. “Seriously.”
He glanced away. “No, it’s just that when you’re the one people depend on, there isn’t a lot of room for needing others. You know what I mean?”
“Not to sound like an idiot, but not really.”
Ryder didn’t look over at me, though I couldn’t take my eyes off him. “You’re not an idiot, Finn. Far from it. You just don’t think about things. This is stupid anyway. Sorry.”
I reached for his shoulder. It was warm under my fingers. “It’s not stupid.” Ryder looked at my hand and then at me. “But, can you explain it to me?”
He smiled with the side of his mouth and looked away. I withdrew my hand before he spoke. “It’s hard living up to people’s perception and expectations of me. Not to sound like an asshole, but it’s a high standard.”
“Not an asshole if it’s the truth. You have the highest standards of anyone I know, in everything I’ve ever seen you do or say.”
Ryder chuckled. “Thanks, Finn.”
The sun’s reflection on the pool caught my eye. “For a long time, you were the standard I judged myself against, and that shit was super fucking hard, so I stopped.”
That made him laugh, and he rolled over on his side, facing me. “Well, I’m glad you worked out that I’m insane all on your own.”
“You’re not insane, man. But why do you put so much pressure on yourself?”
A brow lifted, and the side of his mouth curled. “Trying to dig a little deep, aren’t you?”
“I guess. But only if you wanna tell me.”
He rolled his eyes and flopped onto his back.
After a sigh, he said, “Okay, Dr. Therapist, I love my parents very much, but I was basically the golden child. Which meant I got a lot of attention. So, I’m used to it, I don’t shy away from it, but it comes with pressure, and it gets to be a lot sometimes. ”
“Is that true?” I tilted my head. “I’ve known you guys forever, and your parents still take each of you out individually to grow the connection.”