Chapter 26
TWENTY SIX
ARCHER
The next two weeks had both dragged and flown by simultaneously.
After the firehouse party, a handful of the men came down with the flu and called out, forcing the rest of us to cover what we could.
It wasn’t like not having firefighters was an option, and there weren’t that many of us, which meant that I’d spent the majority of the last fourteen days at the station.
If I wasn’t there, I was at my house sleeping, and for once, I was too exhausted for my nightmares to reach me.
But it also meant that I hadn’t seen much of Darcy, and that was the part that made the past two weeks feel like two months. She stopped by the firehouse a couple of times, dropping off coffee and bringing lunch, but we weren’t alone, not in the way I’d wanted to be.
The night after the party was all I could think about.
I hadn’t brought her back to my house with the intention of sleeping with her, but seeing her curled up on my couch, barefoot and still wearing that dress that hugged her like a second skin, and my thoughts had taken a turn for less than gentlemanly.
When she started searching for her keys, I realized that I didn’t want her to leave, and not only because I’d wanted her physically.
I would’ve happily sat through six more of her heartfelt movies if it meant I could be near her.
Her being in my house should’ve felt weird, or at the very least, like I had a guest over, but the only weird thing about it was how normal it felt.
Like instead of it being the first time she stepped foot into my house, it was the hundredth, and that was a tidbit of information that I’d flipped around in my head the entire time we were apart.
“You good?” Harrison asked, bringing me back to the present. I dragged my stare from where Darcy and Sophie stood talking at the table behind us, to my friend.
“Yeah, I’m good. Why?” I asked.
He glanced down at my hand. “Well, you’ve been holding that axe and staring at Darcy for a while now, and I just wanted to make sure you were going to throw it at the actual target.”
It had been Harrison’s idea to go axe throwing for our double date, the one we got roped into because, according to Harrison, Sophie was dying to meet Darcy.
Judging by the fact that neither girl had taken a turn throwing in the hour we’d been here—too busy chatting—I’d say that was probably true.
But knowing my best friend, there was more to it, and I had a feeling I was about to find out what that was.
Facing the target, I lifted the axe up over my head, then launched it at the target on the wall, the blade sinking into the wood with a dull thud. I went to retrieve it, then passed it over to Harrison. “Yes, I’m good. I’m just . . .”
“Happy?” he supplied, a knowing grin on his face.
“Yeah. I am.”
Harrison threw the axe, but it hit the wall handle first and clattered to the floor. “Damn it,” he cursed, doing his seventh walk of shame to pick it up off the floor.
I laughed. “Why’d you want to do this if you suck at it?”
“Because I can’t get better at it if I don’t practice now can I?” he grumbled, thrusting the handle back into my hands.
“Doesn’t seem like practicing is helping all that much, my friend.”
Narrowing his eyes at me through his glasses, he picked up his beer and flipped me off. “Yeah, yeah, throw the damn thing.”
Chuckling, I took my turn. When I returned from dislodging the axe, Harrison didn’t waste any time getting to the other reason for bringing us here.
“I think I’m going to propose to Sophie. Well, actually, I know I am. I already bought the ring.”
“No, shit! Really?” I asked. They hadn’t been dating long, maybe a little over a year, but the news didn’t surprise me. She’d moved in with him after three months, and they were beyond perfect for each other.
He nodded, a goofy smile lighting his face.
“Congrats, man. That’s awesome news.” I smacked him on the back.
“Thanks, Arch. I don’t know when to do it.”
I spoke fast. “Not now. Definitely not now.” Harrison gave me a skeptical look. “One, no girl wants to get proposed to here, and two, if she says no she’s surrounded by weapons.”
Laughing he glanced over at Sophie. “Fair enough. Yeah, she’d kill me for sure if I did it here.”
“Wait. You don’t have the ring on you right now do you?” I grilled him in a hushed tone.
“I always have it on me. I’m too scared the right moment is going to pop up and I’m not going to have it!” A boyish expression crossed his face, as if his explanation was the same as a child defending why Superman was better than Batman.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “You make the right moment, you idiot. What if you lose it? Or what if she sees it?”
“I’m very careful! I just want to be prepared!” he assured me.
Shaking my head, I laughed. “Whatever makes you happy, Harrison.”
“Speaking of . . .” He trailed off, sipping his beer. “You know you’re allowed to be happy too, right?”
“I told you I was.”
He pointed a finger at my chest. “No, you trailed off. I supplied the word, and you merely agreed with it.”
“Okay, fine. But I am happy.”
His brown eyes leveled me with a knowing look, and sometimes I hated how much he knew about me, and how observant he was. “You know what I mean. If you want to let her in, then let her in.”
I huffed out a sigh, glancing over at Darcy. Her brown hair stuck out from underneath the beanie she wore, and you could see her baby bump despite the fact that she wore a sweater and a quilted vest. If L.L. Bean had a maternity line, she could model for it—I’d buy it all. “It’s complicated.”
Harrison scowled at me. “No, it’s really not. It’s scary, but it’s not complicated. You’ve faced far scarier shit and survived.”
“She hasn’t faced scary, though. And what if—”
He cut me off. “Have you ever hit someone?” At the look I gave him, he amended, “Who didn’t hit you first?”
“No.”
His tone gentled, his face growing serious. “You’re not going to hurt her, Arch. You’re not. Not her, and certainly not the baby. If you want to be with her, if you want to be a dad, then do it. There’s nothing stopping you, but you. Let yourself be happy.”
I stared at my friend, who had talked me off ledges not so dissimilar to this one before, and tried to imagine where I’d be without his counsel over the years. “You know, you’d make a great therapist.”
He scoffed. “No I wouldn’t. I barely made it through business school. But I’ll be sure to send you my bill since you think I’m so amazing.”
“I’ll be sure to send my check in the mail too.” We laughed, both of us knowing I’d never owned a checkbook in my life, then walked over to the girls.
“What’s so funny?” Sophie asked, looking at Harrison as he dropped his arm over her shoulders.
How he managed to act so nonchalant while there was an engagement ring hidden somewhere on his person was beyond me.
I was cool under most pressure, but something told me I’d be losing my mind if I was planning on proposing to Darcy.
The fact that that thought had occurred to me had me panicking underneath my carefully crafted layer of casualness.
“Arch thinks I should be a therapist,” Harrison answered, dropping a kiss to Sophie’s hair.
“You should! You’d make a great one!” she encouraged excitedly, like maybe it would actually happen.
To my left, Darcy shrugged. “I’d trust you with all my deepest, darkest secrets and I barely know you. I think it’s the glasses. They scream trustworthy.”
Harrison barked out a laugh. “Well thank you. I’ll keep it in mind for future career options.”
Sophie rubbed her hands together, then bounded toward where I’d placed the axe down. “Okay, are we going to throw this thing or what? Come on, Darcy! Let’s show ‘em how it’s done!”
Darcy smiled, and met my gaze before following after her.
“What do you think we’ve been doing?” Harrison called, shaking his head while walking toward them.
Hanging back, I watched Sophie take her turn.
Just like Harrison, the axe crashed to the floor below the target.
Then Darcy went, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away.
It was like I had tunnel vision, and she was the light at the end.
Her throw landed squarely in the bullseye of the target, and when she turned to face a shocked Harrison and Sophie, she threw a wink in my direction.
Let yourself be happy.
As I joined the group, those words echoing in my head, I thought, maybe, I could.
***
“Did you get some rest? I know the last couple of weeks were crazy around here,” Chief Abrams asked, sitting down in his desk chair.
“I did, yes,” I answered.
“Good, I’m glad. Whalen, Rapsy, and Elmes are back in rotation so that should help a little while the others get their shit together.”
I nodded. “That’s good. We’ll be back to normal soon.”
“That we will. Anyway, let’s get down to it.” He stroked his mustache, a subconscious habit of his. “I’m offering you the lieutenant position.”
There it was. The words I’d been waiting years to hear.
So, why wasn’t I happier?
I still wanted the position, there was no doubt about it, but while one part of me was pumping his fist, beyond excited about the achievement, there was another part of me that wasn’t as gleeful, and I thought I knew why.
“Thank you, sir. Can I ask why?” I had to be sure. He had told me he wanted me for the promotion before Darcy came into the picture, so I knew I had some merit, but if the only reason he was offering it to me now was because of her, I wasn’t sure I could take it.
“I’ve seen a real change in you, Archer.
You’re still passionate about the job, but you’re not letting it consume you anymore.
I mean, you used to be here on your days off.
It was getting to the point where I was contemplating charging you rent.
” He laughed, then continued. “I had to pull you from a card game for this conversation, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you step foot in the lounge. ”
I cracked a smile then. “Meyers cheats. I don’t know if Blackjack is my game.”
“Doesn’t matter! My point is this, you’ve always been dedicated, hard working, and dependable, all of which are important, but now you’re someone the men can relate to—someone they can trust. I don’t know if it’s that girlfriend of yours lighting a fire under your stubborn ass, or if you finally woke up to living, but this is what I was looking for from you. ”
I let his words sink in.
In a way, it was because of Darcy. It wasn’t because she was my girlfriend, or because she was about to have my baby—he hadn’t even mentioned that—but still.
The changes the chief noticed in me were because I’d started to grow close to Darcy.
Whether she meant to or not, she became someone I felt comfortable enough talking to, someone I could trust, and maybe that had rubbed off on me in return.
Was it wrong to take a position if there was a person, a catalyst, responsible for my growth?
“So? What do you say?” he asked, resting his folded hands on his desk.
I cleared my throat. “Can I think on it? Just for a day or two?”
By the shock on his face, it was clear he hadn’t expected me to say anything other than yes, but I needed to think this over.
“Of course. Get back to me on Tuesday.”
“Thank you, sir.” I stood and exited his office, closing the door behind me and heading in the direction of the bunk room to grab my things.
It’d been a long shift, and prior to my conversation with the chief, I’d been exhausted.
Now, my mind was racing too fast to even attempt sleep. I needed to talk this out.
Before I registered what I was doing, I was calling Darcy.
“Hello?” Her voice was thick with sleep.
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I forgot what time it is.” I inwardly cursed myself.
“Arch, it’s eight in the morning, not four. I should wake up anyway. What’s up?”
“Can I come over?” I asked, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder.
“Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?” Concern laced her tone.
I exited the building. “Everything is great. I just need to see you.”
“I’m here.” Her response had me smiling as I swung my leg over my motorcycle.
“Good. I’ll be there in ten.”