19. Good Sports
NINETEEN
Cam checkedthe note in his phone. He had to be ready in case of a confrontation, and promised himself that if Hayden set the bar low, he wouldn’t crawl under it.
He opened a private chat, paged him, pasted, and sent it.
Cameron
I’m sorry for the way I behaved when we talked on Sunday morning. I was a self-righteous ass, and I know you didn’t need to hear any of that. I am genuinely sorry about the injury, and concerned for you. It’s not about winning and losing here. It’s about a couple of guys who respect each other, and I respect the way you play this game.
Hayden
Hey.
Cameron
Hi.
Hayden
Feel better?
Cameron
I’m fine. You?
Hayden
Peachy. That game didn’t matter. The only game that matters is against Cory in November.
That’s the rivalry. That’s the only one I can’t lose.
Cameron
You’ll be fine by then.
Hayden
Yeah. I will.
I’m glad you got that off your chest.
Cameron
This isn’t about me. You deserved an apology.
Hayden
You’re a sanctimonious ass, and you showed your true colors on Sunday. Don’t wave that bullshit about leadership in my face ever again.
Cameron
Hold on.
Hayden
Five weeks in, and you think you speak for every quarterback in college football. You’re not Cory, and you’re not Ethan, and literally no one looks up to you and your pep talks.
Cameron
I’m not trying to be them, or to make anyone look up to me. I was fired up and made things personal, and I know I shouldn’t have. I wanted to apologize for that.
Hayden
Maybe that gut reaction is who you really are. Maybe you only respect the people you call friends until you’ve got the advantage, and you milk it for all it’s worth.
And I don’t only mean the score. Shit like this will come back on you.
Cameron
Are you seriously sending karma after me when I came here to try and set things right?
Are you going after Cory if he runs up the score on you because his fans expect it? Would you run it up on him if the positions were reversed?
Hayden
I run the plays my coach tells me to run.
Cameron
So does Cory, and so do I. We’re all in the same boat. None of us are trying to hurt one another. I should have been more supportive, and I will be in the future.
Hayden
Whatever. We’re good. Just leave it.
Hayden Hamilton has left the private chat.
Cameron
Paging @EthanEngel
Read up, brother. I tried.
Ethan
Humility is a tough one, and honestly, it’s better to be on the wrong side of it here than with your own guys. You did fine.
You kept your cool, and if karma is going to get you anything, it’ll be someone else keeping his cool when you need it most.
How is it with the girl?
Cameron
Avery. I’m optimistic. She and pseudo-Cory split.
Ethan
That’s major. Has she seen your magazine spread? I think she’ll like the problematic pants.
Cameron
WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
Ethan
You didn’t see Dale post the link? Some well-positioned shadows and angles are serving you well.
Cameron
I am a reasonable guy. My very few sources have not complained. There is no need for false advertising.
Ethan
Cam, it’s your alumni magazine. There’s no way in hell it went out to a million people looking inappropriate. I’m giving you shit because I can. There is nothing wrong with that photo.
Cameron
That photo takes me back to the day someone poked my stomach and called me chunky, then told me I don’t know what to do with my dick.
Soup jokes aside, I have an entirely new appreciation for anyone who feels body-shamed. It doesn’t matter that I’m in good enough shape to be at the top of my game. That one word just sticks.
Ethan
It’s just like everything else, though. One analyst thinks you’re rocking the off-platform throws, another one looks at the same thing and says you’re just playing hero ball. People are always going to think and say what they want. You cannot let your P.R. idiot’s preference for skinny boys shape how you feel about yourself.
Cameron
I hate this part of the job. I hate this job.
Ethan
It’s crowd noise. Breathe it out.
If people look below the waist at that one photo and think they see something they like, well, good for them. It’s not explicit or even obvious, and you haven’t done anything wrong.
Cameron
I feel like I’m being placated.
Ethan
Oh, you are. I’m not going to tell you you’re pretty and I love everything about you and then take you to bed and prove it like I do with Kaia when she feels insecure. Friendship has its limits, buddy.
You’re going to have to find that kind of reassurance on your own.
Hands shaking, Cam handed Avery his list on Friday afternoon. It was a haphazard scrawl from only a few minutes’ worth of thought, gathered only when he realized he needed to talk about anything but the magazine that landed in every mailbox on campus.
“This is approximately it,” he said. “Can we weave all this together in one piece?”
Avery studied it and smiled. “I’ll bet you have good stories to go with a few of these.”
“Ask me anything.”
“Bees?”
“I’m allergic. Bees have tried to end me twice, so, naturally, I love them.”
“That’s dark.”
“If you love flowers, you have to love bees.”
“So what you’re saying is that you want the giant bee to be the centerpiece of the entire thing. Got it.” She pretended to scribble on her sketchpad.
“I know I’m allergic to honey bee stings. Bumble bees may or may not be out to kill me. There can be a cross-reaction, but you don’t know until you try it. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt.”
She tipped her head and smiled. “That might be the cutest thing ever. You’re trying so hard to find a way to not hate something that could murder you.”
“Honey bees are machines. Bumble bees just bonk into flowers like fluffy bumper cars. They’re too lazy to sting.”
“There’s a visual.” Her shoulder shook as she held back giggles, and her smile was enough to embolden him.
“Do you think you’ll be out tomorrow night? We should be back from Indianapolis pretty early, since we play at noon.”
“I don’t know.” She fidgeted with her pencil. “I guess I’ll see if Isaac wants to go.”
Cam dropped his sketchpad. “You said you guys weren’t together.”
“We’re not, but it’s the rule, right? I can’t just show up. I have to go with someone from the team.”
The implication hung in the air like a football at the peak of its arc.
You could come with me.
She glanced up and met his eyes for a moment, but the words lingered on his tongue with the taste of plastic from his mouthguard, teeth clenched. He couldn’t speak.
You could come with me.
He waited too long.
“Anyway, Isaac offered to play mediator with me and Justin, and since he will almost certainly bring Mindy, maybe I can offer her the olive branch if he won’t take it.”
“That’s a good plan. With Mindy, I mean. I’m sorry Justin’s still shut down.”
“Yeah, me too. Isaac kind of forced himself into the conversation, and I guess it can’t hurt. And maybe at a party it will just be casual. If it’s not going well, it’s easy to walk away.”
“I’ll be there,” he said quickly. “If you need anything, I mean. An excuse to talk to someone else, maybe.” He spotted the tiny curl of a smile on her lips.
“Thank you, Cam. Do you know we’ve never really talked outside this building?”
“You’re kidding.” He scratched his jawline. “Wow. Aside from saying hi here and there, we really haven’t.”
“Maybe we should sometime.”
“I really think we should.”
“Cameron Porter, you look dressed for a date,” Shay accused, poking his arm. “I’ve never seen you in a shirt with buttons. Haven’t I taught you to do your hair yet, though?”
“I like my hat. And I try to look a little less locker-room once in a while.” He fidgeted with the rolled cuffs of his sleeves and kept an eye on the front hall. He knew how to do his hair, but his hat was lucky and comfortable, and Avery knew the Cam in the hat. The guy whose face glared from every mailbox on campus felt like a mask on a man in a pinned-tight jersey and limited edition navy and gold Jordans that Shelby insisted no one else had.
“Well, the latest shoot has you looking a little locker-room and very handsome. Have you seen the proofs?”
“No, why would I? I don’t even know what this set is for. No one tells me anything.”
“The ones where you’re in the tight white shirt are for the podcast promo.”
“I forgot I did a podcast.” He rubbed his head. “I truly do not remember who I talked to or what I said.”
Shay hopped excitedly. “It was so good. You talked about sideline pep talks and comebacks. That’s your thing now.”
He felt dizzy. “So now I have a thing.”
“Well, I won’t tell the boss how cute you look tonight.” She fussed with a button on his shirt. “She’ll try and sell you to J.Crew instead of Under Armour. You’ve got that energy here.”
“I’m pretty sure this shirt is J.Crew, and I’d rather Shelby not sell me to anything or anyone.”
Shay lifted a brow. “Kenyon says you’ll be getting paid like Jordy was. Why not do a few deals and bank it? Who knows what’s out there after college?”
“Riches, my friend. Riches and pizza commercials and a place in Canton. I’m the long-lost Manning brother.”
“You don’t even like our media,” Shay reminded him. “If you can’t handle Shelby’s bitchiness, you cannot handle being the face of a franchise.”
“Point taken. I’ll buy my own pizza.” He peered over her shoulder. “Good to see you, Shay. Excuse me.”
He spotted Isaac first, then Avery slightly behind him—not tucking her hand in the crook of his elbow like she usually did, thank goodness. His body tightened when he saw she was in a dress again, this one a little clingier over her waist and hips than the sundresses she liked in warmer weather. The heels on her short boots made her even taller, close to six feet, and her pale blonde hair glowed above her like a halo.
Isaac turned and placed a hand on the small of her back, and she dodged him with a smile. She leaned close to his ear and whispered, then stepped away to speak with a few of the players’ girlfriends. Isaac disappeared into the hall.
Cam wasted no time. He crossed the room and tapped her shoulder.
Avery’s face lit up when she turned around. “I was hoping to run into you,” she said.
He leaned forward and bumped his shoulder against hers to nudge her away from the group. “Well, now you have.”
She bumped him back. “No. Now I have.”
“That’s fair.” His eyes darted around the room. “I hate to bring this up, but have you seen your brother?”
“No. Is he even here?”
“He was here,” Cam said. “Hitting the tequila and working the door, two things that do not mix. I saw Prof—I saw Mindy a little while ago, but it’s been a bit.”
“They’re probably up in his room.” Avery shuddered. “Yeah, not interrupting that.”
“Of course not. But he was really upset this afternoon, and I don’t think it was entirely about the loss. And tequila is not usually his go-to.”
Avery tucked her hand in his elbow and led him away from several noisy groups that had congregated in the center of the room. “It was three years ago today that our brother died. It’s always a hard day for us.”
He held her gaze. “Are you okay?”
“I am, thanks.” She didn’t let go of his arm. “I took a little time early this morning to ground myself a bit and feel all the feelings. My counselor told me that’s the happy medium between trying to fake like it doesn’t hurt and wallowing in grief. Make a space and keep it there.”
“That sounds like the advice my friend Cory would give. He’s one of the chillest people I know, but he cares so deeply about so much. I think he just compartmentalizes really well.”
“It takes some practice.”
“I’m glad it’s working for you.”
His hands ached. The flutter of her fingers on his arm was more than anything they shared before, and was immediately not enough. “Come with me to get something to drink.”
Cam reached for her hand and spotted Gia Tomlin watching them. Gia’s boyfriend, Hakeem Malo, was one of Justin’s nine roommates, and Cam’s left guard. Gia was a gossip who smiled when she made people uncomfortable, and her over-sharing on social media was an easy example when anyone protested the no-phones rule at The Farm.
He didn’t like the look on her face. When the quarterback didn’t like the look from the other side, he changed the plan.
Cam pulled his hand away and nodded for Avery to follow him to the kitchen. Gia could say what she liked about him, but Avery was the one who would look bad if anyone still thought she was with Isaac.
“Aww, I remember this place,” Avery said as they entered the kitchen. “We had the world’s worst first conversation here.”
“That’s entirely on me.” Cam retrieved two waters from the refrigerator and handed her one. “I appreciate the second chance.”
A blush crept up from the V-neck of her dress and warmed her cheeks as she fidgeted with a section of her hair. “I haven’t regretted it.”
“I’ll never give you cause to.” He steadied himself with a deep breath. “When we talked yesterday, I should have asked?—”
“Avery.” Isaac poked his head in the kitchen. “Sorry. Hi, Cam. Avery, Mindy’s over in the rec room if you want to talk to her. Alone.”
“Of course I do. Where’s Justin?”
“Beats me. I figured it was a good chance for you to see her without seeing him, as per the plan.”
“As per the plan,” she echoed, peering around the cabinets. “All right, then. Wish me luck, guys.”
Isaac grabbed a water from the fridge and raised it to Cameron’s in a quiet toast as Avery disappeared. “To getting the Whitmans sorted out, as per the plan.”
“Whatever plan that is, I’ll drink to it.” Cam gulped his water, and batted aside a nagging feeling about hanging out with Avery’s ex. Her brother, their friend, was a more timely concern. “She thought maybe he and Mindy were upstairs together, but if she’s down here, where’s he?”
“Not in the rec room, and not at the bonfire. I was just out there.” Isaac leaned back on the counter. “Mingling, I guess, but it’s weird he wouldn’t have Mindy with him.”
“Avery said this is the anniversary of the day their brother died, and I saw Justin hugging a bottle of tequila before you guys got here.” Cam craned his neck to see her sitting with Mindy on a loveseat. “We should find him. She’s worried.”