26. It Has to be Me
TWENTY-SIX
Avery draggedhim up a flight of stairs and around corners without a word, into an unfamiliar part of the building. She scanned her ID at the entrance to a long, empty hallway, consulted a screen full of names and room numbers, and tapped one. At the entrance to another door, she scanned her ID again.
She pushed the bags out of his hands before the door locked behind them. “A music class benefit. The practice rooms are mostly soundproof,” she said as he pulled her into his arms. “No one will bother us here.”
The energy in his hands set her tingling as they roved her body. When she pulled back from his kiss to catch her breath, he nipped at her neck and a jolt of lust went down her spine when he pressed her to the wall.
Holding tight to him with jittering hands, she fought every desire to drag him down to the floor. It would be too much, too fast, too soon, too something, especially for a girl who just called it quits with his friend.
But the ache that rose inside her pulled her hands under his T-shirt again without thinking, and after a second, she gave in and pulled it over his head, sending his orange hat tumbling to the floor with the shirt.
She stared.
Cam poked his stomach and smiled, glasses slightly askew. “A little chunky for a quarterback. Believe me, I’ve heard.”
“I bet I know who said that. You tell Shelby she’s the one with vision problems.”
He prodded his stomach again, then moved a hand quickly to his head to flatten his hair when he realized his hat was gone. “I did not prepare well for this,” he laughed. Leaning close, he stroked her cheek. “Beautiful girl, you have me at a disadvantage. But the smooshy belly and messy hair are all yours, if you want me.”
“I want you. Cameron Porter, you have no idea how attractive you are to me.”
Dancing her fingers over his skin—the chiseled curves of his shoulders, over the dark curls on his chest and down where a thin trail of hair guided her hands lower—she breathed him in as he tangled his fingers in her hair. Holding him close in the studio ignited her, and her body screamed to just keep taking—taking everything off him, taking him inside her and obsessing his mind and heart, just taking the way she did when need overwhelmed her. For weeks she basked in the comfortable warmth of the sparks between them, quietly battling the desire to dive headfirst into the flames like she had before. It’s better this way, she told herself every time she watched him disappear after an hour of talking and not touching. The slow burn. Get it right, and you won’t scare him off.
Then he leaned into another kiss, and with a twist of his hand with a fistful of her hair, the last of her resolve buckled with her knees. “You could even the playing field,” she whispered, guiding his hand to the hem of her shirt.
He wasted no time stripping it over her head. “I like close games,” he murmured into her neck before catching the strap of her bra between his teeth. Tugging it over her shoulder, he squeezed a hand between her and the wall and unclasped the back. Avery gasped when the heat of his mouth met her breasts as his lips teased her nipples into stiffness.
Kneeling before her, Cam undid the button of her jeans and spread his discarded shirt on the thin carpet. “Come down here,” he whispered, tugging her hands. “You’re melting me, Avery.”
She lowered herself to the floor and into his arms. The tease of him straining against her raised the heat in her blood. When he rolled on top of her, her mouth watered for the taste of him, the burn in her cheeks giving away her thoughts. He would read her eyes faster than a playbook and know precisely what she wanted.
Cam loosened her jeans and slid them down. “You destroyed me in those little dresses, you know. Some nights, it felt like you were taunting me with these legs, and I wanted…”
He trailed off and leaned into a kiss, nudging his fingers upward, and smiling at the slickness already between her thighs.
“What did you want?”
“I wanted to sit you on the counter and wrap your legs around me, leaving you wide open under that little dress in a room full of people, but where only I could see or feel you.”
“In front of everybody?” She shivered at the twitch of his fingers.
“Yes. I want to slide my fingers inside you and make you try to keep a straight face. I want secrets with you. Avery, I am so fucking hungry for you, and I was sick with jealousy.”
Her heart thudded. “There’s nothing to be jealous of.”
“I know. But the idea of touching you where anyone could see us isn’t going anywhere.”
“I wore yoga shorts under those dresses so I didn’t flash anybody.”
He shook his head. “You won’t wear anything under them when we go together.”
The picture he painted with only a few words imprinted on her eyes, and she saw them, lost in each other’s lips and hands, and surrounded by a crowd of people. Her breath caught in her throat as her fingers flew over the drawstring and the waist of his warm-up pants. The deep groan he released shook his body. He tightened his hand in her hair again. “Please,” he whispered. “I need you to touch me.”
She grazed her thumb along his waist and slipped her hand lower.
A noisy conversation outside the door breached the soundproofing, and they froze in each other’s arms until the voices faded.
“Oh my God, Cam.”
“What?” His eyes darted around the tiny room.
Crass jokes and girlish giggles about length were consigned to dust when a girth she couldn’t close her hand around sent her pulse into orbit—and sent the dismal, practical part of her brain thinking there was no way that would work in a stolen moment in a practice room.
She’d need him too much, too fast, and that sort of thing never ended well, anyway.
“Nothing, it’s just that… I mean, it’s funny.” She bit her lip. “We were talking about being chunky… this might hurt a little.”
She regretted the words when she felt him flinch. Silly, stupid Avery. He hates the photos. He hates when people talk about his body, whether they like it or not—he doesn’t like it.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Oh God. Not at all. It’s just that?—”
“Avery, look at me.”
She tipped her head up, still stroking him when he bent down and kissed her lips.
“Do you want me? Right now, here?”
“Yes. But I don’t know how you’re?—”
“I want you to feel good. So I want you to sit on that little piano bench and open your legs for me.”
She squeezed him again. Gently, he pulled her hands away and nudged her to the bench.
“I want you wet,” he said, kneeling before her. “I want you open and ready for me.”
Avery leaned back, propping herself against the piano as he kissed his way up her thigh, pausing only to fold his glasses and set them on the keyboard cover. She dragged her nails through his curls, tightening her grip when she felt the first flicks of his tongue. A quiet moan escaped when he plunged a finger inside and bent it as if beckoning her closer. Come with me, his hands whispered. Keeping her eyes closed, she breathed his name again and again as he softened and warmed her with his hands and mouth. When her hips began trembling, he pulled back his hand and buried his tongue inside her as he pressed her hard to the bench.
“I want you desperately,” he said, his voice hoarse. “But if you want to wait until we can get somewhere more comfortable, I’ll survive. For a short while.”
“I want you. Now. Here.”
She indulged in a long look while he prodded and tasted her. A little chunky for a quarterback. His body bloomed with power. The energy in his fingers set her craving a little aggression at his hands. If she could be a little much, maybe so could he. A touch beneath her skirt at a party, or her back against a wall where anyone could walk by. She could pay him back in kind for any of it with a little squeeze or a whispered word. They might tease each other to the point of torture and relish it until they snapped.
He kissed his fingers and slipped them inside her again. Avery’s chest heated as a flush rose from her shoulders to her scalp.
“Cameron, please.”
“Come here.” He lowered his hand to stroke himself. “Get on top of me. You’re in charge that way. Go slowly.”
She slid over him and held his gaze, searching for any sign that she wasn’t what he wanted, or would want the next day, and the next. The gold flecks in his brown eyes glowed a warm amber as he caressed her cheek.
A short, sharp pain became a slow ache as the pressure spread over her body when she took him in. Every inch he filled made her hungrier for another. “Cam, oh my God,” she breathed. “I love the way you feel.”
He groaned as she lowered herself. “Hand me my glasses. I want to see you ride me.”
Pressing her palms to his chest, she rocked her hips forward and back, taking him all the way in as she watched his eyes. “Like that?”
“Harder.” He squeezed her ass, jerking her against his hips.
Avery lifted almost entirely off him and wriggled back down. “You said I could go slow.”
“You were worried about fitting together comfortably, weren’t you?” He grinned as he took hold of her thighs. “Look at that. Perfect fit.”
“Perfect fit.” She caught her breath as he thrust upward. “Oh, maybe slow down just a minute.”
“Don’t squeeze me like that again unless you want me to come. Not yet.”
“I’ll try, you just—God, you feel amazing. I’ll try.”
He tucked a hand behind his head as he pulsed inside her. “You’re even more beautiful than I dreamed, and Avery, I dreamed of this view. Of watching you move like this, sweaty from riding me. I followed you down the hall and took you home every night.”
She barely held back me too. Instead, she leaned forward, bouncing on him and then grinding down, letting the flood of pleasure take her one moment and relaxing into whispers the next. His hair dampened between her fingers as he bucked against her—gentle, demanding—and showed no signs of slowing.
“Did you dream of any other views?” she gasped when she regained enough breath.
He dragged her down against his chest and rolled over her. “This one,” he said, and buried himself so she arched against him. He twisted her legs around his hips, cupping his hands underneath her. “And this one, and a hundred more. I want to live between these gorgeous legs, and touch you whenever I want. I want you in dresses so I can send you to every class thinking of me like this.”
She explored his back and thighs as he found a rhythm, muscles shifting and gliding in every powerful thrust. Everything he hid from the world was hers. Even in uniform, when she imagined she could see every inch of him, his body didn’t move the way he did when he claimed her. No camera ever captured his eyes like she saw them.
“I think I’ll send you off with some inconvenient thoughts, too,” she countered, shifting her weight to change his angle. “Get used to carrying your bag in front of you and taking a cold shower before you hit the gym.”
“Is that a promise?”
“I’ll buy more dresses,” she panted. “God, Cameron, whatever you want.”
“Avery.” His voice pinched as he fought back his pace. “I’m going to come. Where do you want me?”
She dug her nails into his lower back to hold him against her as he released with a deep, tortured groan that sent a shudder through both their bodies. When she clenched around him in response, she grasped at his arms until he lifted her enough to meet his lips. He kissed her, still shaking, and lowered them to the ground as he spent the last of himself inside her.
Slick with sweat, they clung to each other as they regained their breath. She softened in his arms when his heartbeat joined hers. “I liked that,” she whispered. “Cameron. The way you filled me and the way you fit inside me—that was unbelievable. I felt…” She trailed off, twirling her fingers in his hair.
“You felt what?”
“Different. Just out of nowhere, suddenly… not so afraid anymore. I didn’t know if you really wanted me like this. Or not just like this, or not now, or anything. My mind was racing, and it just went blank.”
“I have never wanted anyone more.” He shifted his weight to snuggle her closer. “Not just like this. I’d lose it if I missed another chance with you because I didn’t have my act together. I want you. I want us together, and I didn’t want to hold anything back.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” She gathered her words. “And I’m on the pill, so I hope it was okay to hold you like that.”
He tickled her ribs. “That’s why I asked. I want to be that close to you. Avery, I meant every word I said. It has to be me. Only me.”
She turned her head a few inches and kissed his chest, salt tickling her lips from his sweat. “It’s only you. I couldn’t want anyone else. But I think we shouldn’t tell anyone for a while.”
His muscles tightened, and she rushed to finish her thought. “I meant because of Isaac. He’s your friend, and Justin’s. I want him to still be my friend. People are going to be talking about that party for weeks. I haven’t spoken to either of them, and there’s a lot to sort out. But I promise, I meant every word, too. It’s only you. It can only be us.”
He scooted her up to face him and kissed her without hesitation. “You’re right to think of that. They’re my friends and teammates. I’m so caught up in you I’m ready to sing it over the speakers. A few weeks, maybe? What do you think?”
“I think that’s reasonable. Justin’s stuck with me. Isaac and I agreed to leave everything on good terms. It’s not like it was serious.”
He tipped her chin up for another kiss. “I’m serious.”
“I saw that in your eyes the first time I saw you. You’re an intense man, Cameron Porter. And every day since then, I wondered what made your eyes so hungry.”
“You’re an intuitive girl, Avery Whitman, and I’ve only begun to show you what I’m hungry for.”