Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
CEDRIC
I was disappointed when Orthorr mentioned being bonded to a woman. I’d hoped for a different answer, but I didn’t let that disappointment linger. Just because he was the most handsome barbarian I’d met thus far didn't mean I wouldn’t find someone eventually. I’d only been here a week.
It was hard to remember that when I spent most of the next week with him.
When I wasn’t learning with Finn and Amina, I was with Orthorr, helping him to understand the paperwork and working together to translate it to something the other clan leaders would understand.
It wasn’t as simple as just translating language.
There were terms used in government that the barbarians didn’t even have words for.
Practices that confused Orthorr because they were convoluted and overly complicated.
I knew the feeling. I’d been dealing with government paperwork all my life.
“This makes no sense. We signed this before. Why do they send it twice?”
Snickering, I tried to explain it to him. “The first document was for all barbarians. This one is for your clan specifically. Since you don’t have an overarching government system, they have to treat each clan as a separate entity.”
He frowned at the document, the expression pulling at the lines on his face. It made my fingers itch to smooth them out, and I had to sit on my hands to stop myself from doing something so embarrassing.
“The clans are led by their leaders, but big decisions are made together. We cannot make changes to our way of life without a vote.”
“And they’ve accounted for that here.” I pointed to a part on the page.
“All major decisions will be brought to Uttin, who will discuss them with the clan leaders and bring the decision back to the king or queen. Each clan leader will need to sign a similar document, saying they agree to this and won’t be requiring their own meeting with the king’s council for each decision being made. ”
He grunted, making a face. “That would be tedious. I doubt any other clan leader would wish for that. I will bring it to them at the next meeting. What else?”
Looking down at the papers scattered across the table, I shook my head. “Nothing, I think. We’ve gone over pretty much everything so far, and there’s a stack to be shared with the other clan leaders. Until that meeting, I think we’ve done as much as we can.”
Relieved, Orthorr let out a groan and slumped a little.
The reaction was so familiar to me, I had to hide a laugh behind my hand.
My sister always poked fun at me for being so exhausted after reading papers all day, but she didn’t understand just how exhausting it got.
My muscles were stiff, my mind was tired, and all I wanted was a warm meal and a nap.
Rubbing his eyes, Orthorr complained, “My eyes hurt. Never in my life have I read this much before. Until Finn arrived, I could not read the common tongue. The only clan leader who could was Bren. He dealt with all the paperwork. My job was to care for tributes.”
Without thought, I pointed out, “If your eyes hurt from reading, you might want to consider seeing a healer for glasses. Many men of your age use them, and they’d ease the strain a little.”
His head jerked up, and he scowled at me, though it didn’t hold much heat to it. “I am not that old.”
Pressing my lips together to hold back a smile, I reached for the braid on his back and plucked it playfully. “No? Do barbarians get hair like this earlier than in the towns?”
He glared at me, but the dark look didn't make me fear for myself. In the two weeks I’d been with the clan, I’d learned firsthand that the rumors were unfounded—at least with the clans I’d met thus far.
There wasn’t a cruel one in the bunch. Some were intimidating and had a general aura of danger, but even the most dangerous among them softened their tone when speaking to me.
Like they didn't want to scare me. They were good people, and I wasn’t afraid of them anymore.
“Had I known the townspeople would be so cruel, I would have suggested another clan watch over them during their learning period,” he said petulantly.
“Oh, don’t start,” I chastised, grinning at him. “You love it. I see how you fuss over the newcomers. You like taking care of people.”
He looked disgruntled that I’d noticed that, but it wasn’t only me that he paid attention to.
I’d seen him while enjoying meals with the clan and between classes with the language teachers.
If he noticed a townsperson who looked uncomfortable or uncertain, he would approach them with a kind smile and soft words, helping them to find their place.
He never sat by one specific person during meals, sitting beside someone new each day to check in and ensure they were transitioning well.
I’d be jealous if I didn't see how much it helped. They didn’t need a clerk of petitions in the clans because the clan leader didn’t see himself as above his people.
No matter who approached him, he gave them his full attention and addressed all concerns himself.
Even the little kids who came up to him got the attention they deserved. It was sweet.
“And what about you? You’re no better than I am. I have seen you checking in with your townskin. They come to you more than they do to me. They trust you.”
Lifting a shoulder, I said, “Maybe. But it also could just be that they’re familiar with me. The people who journeyed from my town with me knew I was in government. They know I’m working with you. They assume I have the same power I did at home, so they come to me when they have questions.”
It didn’t matter how many times I told them they could go to Orthorr directly or any of the other barbarians if it was something simple.
Sometimes a familiar face put them at ease.
Even people from other towns came to me once they knew of my old job.
Until they were more comfortable with the barbarians, they would likely continue to do so.
I would do well to keep a good rapport with Orthorr so I could share their concerns.
He rolled his shoulder, grimacing at the movement, and I cocked my head curiously. “Did you hurt yourself?”
His head jerked up, and he looked around for a moment before dropping his voice to a whisper. “Do not ask such things so loud!” he hissed. “If the women found out, they would coddle me endlessly!”
I rolled my lips between my teeth, trying to hold back a laugh, but he looked so worried about it, I couldn’t help it. When he playfully pushed my shoulder, I laughed harder, pointing out around giggles, “You’d better be careful, or you’ll hurt yourself more. Wouldn’t want the women to find out.”
I expected more banter. I did not expect the pillow to bap me lightly.
He’d snagged one beside him and, as gently as if I were something fragile, he popped me on the head with it.
Like a child trying to get someone to stop laughing at him.
I put my hands up and ducked my head, still snickering as I tried to protect myself.
“Okay, okay! I’ll stop, I promise.”
Orthorr gave me a warning look when I peeked up at him, pillow still held like a weapon in his hands. I leaned away from him, shoulders shaking as I attempted to suppress my laughter. I hadn’t had this much fun in ages. And never with such a handsome man playing with me.
Once my snickers had settled into only the occasional chuckle, he set his weapon aside, a smile tugging at his lips as he shook his head. “Why must I be surrounded by brats? I must have done something wrong to deserve this.”
Rolling my eyes at the dramatics, I sat up and gestured at him. “Can I help with your shoulder? If you really want to not draw attention to it, it might be better to care for it now.”
He considered me with a frown. “You know how?”
Shrugging, I walked closer on my knees, settling my hands on his shoulder and trying not to gawk and the thick muscle hiding underneath the robes. Age didn’t matter for barbarians, apparently. He was just as muscular as the rest of them.
“My sister is a nurse. She’s helped me with muscle strain after an injury. I couldn’t help with anything overly complicated, but I figured me helping was better than drawing the attention of ‘the women’. Who are you referring to, anyway?”
Digging my fingers into the thick muscle, I massaged around until I found the spot that made him flinch, focusing on that point with enough firmness to help with the knot formed there without hurting him.
Orthorr grunted from the pain but didn't complain as I did my best to help him. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do much good.
He was so thickly muscled, it might have been better to ask another barbarian to help him.
“There are a few women from the clan who have decided I am too old to function on my own.
They fuss over me and coddle me. They have even tried to encourage their bondmates to step in when it's my turn to attend to a physical task. I hate it. I am not that old, and I do not like coddling. I am still capable of doing things on my own.”
“I don’t doubt that,” I breathed, hands moving down his arm without conscious thought. It was wrong to fawn over him, he’d been clear about his preferences, but I’d admit I’d never gotten this close to a man before. It was a heady thing, being able to touch someone as gorgeous as him.
Orthorr’s face turned to look at me over his shoulder, and I froze, my cheeks burning as I stared back at him.
My heart thundered in my ears, and when I licked my lips nervously, Orthorr’s gaze dropped to my mouth, and I felt dizzy with the possibilities.
Would he kiss me? No. He wasn’t attracted to males.
Right? I never did ask specifically. He said he was bonded to a woman, and I assumed.
Did I assume wrong? What would I even do with that information?
I’d never kissed anyone in my life. What if I did it wrong?
“Ravsol…”
My eyes had drifted to Orthorr’s mouth as he spoke, watching him form the foreign word like a prayer. I didn’t know what it meant, but the way he spoke said he wasn’t angry with me. He seemed almost breathless. Or maybe that was just me.
“I… I’ve never been kissed before.”
The admission escaped me before I’d made the decision to say it out loud. Horror slammed into me when I realized I hadn’t just said it in my head. Whipping my gaze to Orthorr’s, I jerked my hands away and tried to scramble back, so embarrassed, I thought about running away to hide from my shame.
Orthorr caught my arm before I could, his expression pained. “I’m sorry, Cedric. I had a bondmate before. I will not take another. I cannot give you what you seek.”
“It’s fine,” I squeaked, wriggling free of his hold and pushing to my feet. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have– I’m going to go. Have a nice evening.”
Without looking back, I ran, heading for the tent I shared with the other townspeople who’d arrived when I did, a temporary place for us while we decided where we wanted to go next.
I went straight for the pallet of blankets that was my bed and crawled into them, pulling the blankets over my head to hide.
I couldn’t believe I did that. I’d never been so forward in my life.
Only two weeks before, I was living my life in secret and never had any close calls that would have drawn anyone’s attention to my affliction.
For some reason, after only a short time with the clan, all my caution was tossed out the window, and I was throwing myself at the first barbarian who smiled in my direction.
The embarrassment felt as if it’d eat me alive. What the hell had I been thinking?