Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
CEDRIC
My heart galloped in my chest at Orthorr’s confession.
I’d been so sure I humiliated myself, seeing interest because I wanted to see it, not because it was truly there.
I was so shamefaced, I avoided him for days, and when I noticed him looking my way, I ran in the opposite direction to escape the humiliation.
I thought he’d leave it be, since I’d obviously made things awkward.
I didn’t think he was looking at me to make amends.
I really didn’t think he was looking for me to try again.
“You don’t have to…” I murmured. I didn’t want him to kiss me because he felt guilty or obligated. That would only make things worse.
His big hand came up to card through my hair before cupping my face. “I want to. You’re beautiful, ravsol. I haven’t stopped thinking of you since the day we met. I do not ask out of guilt.”
My eyes searched his, looking for the lie, but he seemed completely truthful, his sky blue eyes soft and kind like always. Hope swelled in my chest, followed quickly by nerves. “I… I don’t know how…”
The corners of his mouth kicked up in a small smile. “I can show you, if you wish.”
I was a little worried my heart would beat straight out of my chest, it was beating so fast as I waited for him to make a move.
I could tell by the look on his face that he wouldn’t do anything with my express permission first. My cheeks burned as I wrestled with a lifetime of holding back, forcing out the word that came out as more of a squeak than a request. “Please.”
Dipping his head, my eyes fluttered shut as his lips brushed against mine.
An entire lifetime of dreaming and wishing didn’t prepare me for my first kiss.
His lips were soft, barely brushing against mine before he pulled away again.
I chased him, I couldn’t not, lifting onto my toes, and he obliged me by wrapping his arms around me and sipping at my lips.
A small whimper escaped me. It was better than I ever imagined.
I was surrounded by him, every nerve ending alive as he pressed himself against me.
I felt the scrape of his beard, the gentleness of his hands, the softness of his lips in contrast to the hard length of his body.
It was dizzying taking it all in, and I had to grasp his robes to keep myself upright as my knees went weak.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, he nipped at my bottom lip, causing me to gasp, and his tongue slipped inside to glide against mine.
I couldn’t even begin to describe the noise I made that time.
It was embarrassing, I knew that much, and I wanted to pull away and hide, but before I could, Orthorr pulled me in for more, tangling his tongue with mine in a way that made my belly tighten and my cock swell in my trousers.
Pressed against each other like we were, he no doubt felt it, but didn’t pull away or get angry with me.
He just kept on kissing me until I felt like I might melt into a puddle at his feet if he ever released me.
I whimpered again when he pulled away, my breath coming short and sharp and my fingers digging into his robes as I attempted to drag him back to me.
I felt his chuckle against my lips when I managed to steal another kiss, and he didn’t fully release me even as he straightened enough to pull his perfect lips out of range.
“Your stomach is growling, ravsol. Are you hungry?”
Stupidly, I tried to look down at my stomach, but with the way we were pressed together, I couldn’t see it. The visual was a little heady with my body plastered against his, and I had to bite back a moan at the mental image of being pressed against him much the same way without clothes on.
“I… I hadn’t noticed,” I said breathlessly, unable to drag my gaze away from our bodies wrapped around each other until he lifted my chin with his knuckle, his eyes crinkling at the sides as he smiled at me.
I was so enraptured by him, I lost control of my tongue as I added, “I may have skipped lunch because I was trying to avoid you.”
His smile fell, and I immediately regretted my words. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t want to guilt him. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he beat me to it.
“I’m sorry, ravsol. There is no excuse for my behavior. I shouldn’t have been so cruel to you.”
My brows drew together in confusion. I wasn’t sure what he was considering cruel, he had every right to turn me down if–
A loud growl from my stomach interrupted my thoughts, and I felt my cheeks flush as Orthorr’s smile came back.
He gently set me on my feet, pressing a soft kiss against my forehead before resting a hand on my lower back and leading me back toward the village center.
“Come. You need to eat. Also, Yamileth gets cross if people don’t show up on time for meals.
The last person to anger her ended up in a very embarrassing situation for the insult. ”
From the look on his face, I got the feeling I didn't want to know.
As we moved past the line of tents and into the village center, I expected Orthorr to step away from me or put distance between us.
He was the village leader, after all, even in an interim capacity, and I was just…
me. A low-level government official who abandoned my duties when it became clear my efforts were wasted.
Some could say I was a failure for walking away.
I figured Orthorr wouldn’t want to be too obvious about slumming it with someone like me.
Only, he didn't move away. He didn’t address it either.
He kept his hand on my back, guiding me to the food tent for supper and sitting beside me amongst the clan once we had our meals.
I could see the curious looks in our direction, but no one said anything to him directly, and he didn’t acknowledge it.
“How have language lessons been going?” he asked casually, like we weren’t currently the center of attention, even as conversation flowed around us. I was pretty sure a few women were whispering and pointing across the fire, though they pretended otherwise when I actually looked up at them.
“Um… Good, I guess. It’s not easy learning two languages at once, I sometimes mix things up, but Amina and Finn are good teachers. I’m beginning to follow along if they go slow enough.”
He hummed and nodded, switching to his language effortlessly as he said, “You can practice with me. I have helped tributes learn in the past. I know how to speak slowly.”
He did speak slowly, and his words were simple enough for me to understand him. Reproducing the words was harder, but I did my best to reply to him clearly. “I would like that. Orthorr not too busy?”
He shook his head, his smile kind and not at all judgmental on my rudimentary grasp of his language. “No. You helped with the papers. I can help you, too.”
I beamed at him, feeling the tension and heartache from the past few days disappear completely.
He helped me practice my language skills while we ate, then fell into regular conversation when I got too tired to keep up.
I found myself hanging on his every word, happy to just talk to him and have his attention, and commiserated with him when he admitted that he too was just learning Al Nuzem’s language and still struggled with it sometimes.
He had Simon with him to translate when he went to the capital because he didn’t feel confident discussing important topics with his limited grasp of the language.
“He does not appreciate it. He finds the meetings tedious and groans whenever I ask for his help,” he admitted in the common tongue, giving me an exasperated look. “He receives royal treatment while he’s there, but still he complains.”
Snickering, I shook my head. “I guess that’s just more of a push for you to learn so he won’t be required to go with you anymore. I know I wouldn’t say no to extra paperwork if it meant royal treatment afterward. Is it just fancy food or is it more?”
He shook his head, ticking things off on his fingers.
“There’s food, wine, he gets to stay the night with his bondmate in an elegant room with a private bath they can enjoy together.
And I know Feigrind spoils him rotten whenever he does anything he doesn’t wish to do. He is only reinforcing the behavior.”
His annoyance made me laugh because it was tinged with affection. He complained about Simon, but he obviously cared about him. He wouldn’t put up with him if he didn’t.
Not wanting him to get worked up, I shifted the subject a little. “What about you? Do you enjoy the royal treatment while you’re there?”
He made a face, lifting one shoulder noncommittally. “It is fine, I suppose. I might like it more if I had someone to share it with like Simon does.”
My breath caught in my throat when he locked eyes with me. It felt significant, like he wanted that person to be me, but I didn’t want to read too much into a look. I’d already embarrassed myself once. I didn’t want to do it again.
“Good night, clan leader,” the cook, Patrick, said as he shuffled out of the cooking tent nearby.
His bondmate stood nearby, offering a hand to Patrick as he moved to join him, but his attention was on us.
When the barbarian noticed me watching him, a sly look crossed his face that made me blush.
I’d forgotten for a little while that people were watching us.
“Good night, Patrick. Verus,” Orthorr called, waving at them.
I noticed the way his eyes tightened in the corners in a barely masked flinch with the motion, and once the couple was out of sight, I leaned closer, keeping my voice to a whisper so we wouldn’t be overheard. “Is your shoulder bothering you again?”
He sighed, nodding, his expression defeated. “A bit. I tried doing the same thing that you did, but it didn’t seem to help.”
The last time I offered to help him, I’d embarrassed myself nearly to the point of tears and ended up avoiding him for days. I didn’t want to repeat the same experience, but I also didn’t want him to have to suffer just because I was embarrassed either.
“I… I could help you, if you want.”
I didn’t miss the flash of hope that crossed his expression before he masked it into something more professional. “I wouldn’t want to put you out.”
A smile tugged at my lips, and I pursed them to hide it, feigning thoughtfulness. “Well, I mean, I am tired–”
His face fell so quickly, I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m joking! Of course, I’ll help you. I’m assuming you don’t want to do it here?”
There weren’t many left in the village center at that point, most had returned to their tents and their families, but there were a few. And I remembered Orthorr’s concern about ‘the women’ finding out he was injured.
“No, not here,” he agreed. “Would you… join me in my tent?”
My stomach flipped, and I felt my cheeks burn as I shyly nodded and took his hand when he offered it to me. We stood together, and I tried not to get my hopes up as we made our way to his tent. I’d offered to help him. That was all. It wouldn’t lead anywhere.
Though… I couldn’t say I didn’t hope that it might.