Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HENRY
It became a habit for me to sit with Garrun while he slept and play for him.
Most days in our spot where the weather was cool and Ekkar could join us.
He seemed to like the music just as much as Garrun did, curling up against my back while Garrun slept on the ground near my feet where he could stretch out.
The few times I’d gone with him to his tent again, I’d always fallen asleep thanks to the intense heat.
It was during one of these days when I’d missed lunch while napping with Garrun that he brought me to the cooking tent for something to eat.
It was between meal times, and Finn had told us when we arrived that the cooks didn’t like to feed people between meals because they deserved breaks too, but Garrun wouldn’t be deterred. He didn’t want me skipping meals.
“What about you? You don’t normally wake up to eat, do you? Don’t you miss meals all the time?” I pointed out.
“I eat three meals, just like you,” he corrected. “While I’m doing my duty for the clan, I take a break to eat with my brothers while others take my place.”
“Oh.” I made a face. That was the only point I could think to make about not pestering the cooks. Had his tent not been so warm that it put me to sleep, I would’ve eaten at a normal time. “I wonder if Alice came looking for me,” I murmured absently.
We’d been spending less time together than usual lately, what with her getting to know Vaddarr better and me spending all my time with Garrun.
We met for lessons but split up when reading lessons began, and I returned to Garrun to make sure he was sleeping through the afternoon.
She hadn’t sent the entire clan in search of me, so I assumed someone told her where I was, but if she came looking for me and couldn’t find me, I knew I’d hear about it later.
What were the chances she was distracted with Vaddarr and I would escape the lecture?
“Do you wish to check? I can leave you with her while I fetch your meal.”
“Our meal,” I corrected. “You’re awake, so you should eat with me.”
He chuckled, taking my hand and letting me feel the tent entrance before leading me inside.
He was a natural at guiding me, never pulling me somewhere without giving me a chance to get my bearings first. I still didn’t like that I couldn’t get anywhere on my own, but it wasn’t that bad if Garrun was around.
Someone made a startled sound, drawing my attention away from my thoughts.
“Did you— Did he just—” an unfamiliar voice stammered. At first, I didn’t think he was talking to us, I didn’t think we’d done anything to cause him to be so confused, but from the way Garrun stiffened, I assumed whoever was speaking might be speaking to him.
“Ghil…” Garrun greeted tersely, though I didn’t understand the tone. It felt like I was missing something.
“Garrun?” I asked, looking up at him. “Is something wrong?”
“No. It is fine.” His reply was a little brusque, he didn’t normally speak to me that way, not since we became friends, but his hand rested over mine and squeezed like he was trying to reassure me.
“F-Fine?” Ghil asked incredulously. “You just laughed! You! Garrun! Laughed! You haven’t laughed since–”
“Enough,” Garrun snapped, and I could feel the tension as it radiated off his body. He didn't like the direction the conversation had turned, and Ghil seemed oblivious to his discomfort.
Trying to pull the attention away from Garrun, I introduced myself. “Hello. I’m Henry. Sorry to disturb you after normal meal time. We were wondering if we could find something to eat. I fell asleep when it got too hot and missed the afternoon meal.”
The man who’d spoken before went quiet, and I heard the confusion in his voice when he asked Garrun, “What did he say?”
I winced, realizing belatedly that I’d fallen back into the habit of speaking the common tongue, expecting people to understand me.
It was just so easy with Garrun that I didn’t pay that much attention to it.
We both had a horrible habit of forgetting which language we were supposed to be practicing that day and would lapse into our own languages without thought.
I tried again, using the barbarian language instead. “Sorry. We sleep past midday meal. Eating now okay?”
Huffing a laugh, Ghil replied, “You make Garrun laugh. You can eat when you wish. You work miracles. He never laughs.”
Garrun made an irritated sound but didn’t reply. I had questions after hearing the awe and surprise in Ghil’s voice, but I didn’t think Garrun was interested in explaining it to me right now. The muscles of his arm under my palm were so tight, they felt like solid rock.
After Ghil gave us both bowls of food, Garrun led me away, the silence heavy and the tension thick in the air. I wasn’t sure what about Ghil’s comments bothered him, but I decided to wait until we were alone to ask.
He was still gentle with me as he nudged me to sit on a log, I assumed by the fire near his tent since I could hear the crackling of the flames not too far away.
When he sat beside me, I scooted closer until our hips were pressed together, hoping to give him comfort even though I still didn’t understand what for.
It seemed to help a little, some of the tightness in his muscles relaxing.
He nudged the hand holding my bowl, silently urging me to eat.
“Brother!” someone called. I heard footsteps, but I hadn’t expected the speaker to plop down beside me.
I startled, nearly upending my bowl, and Garrun growled in warning to the newcomer, who was at least quick to apologize, the sheepish expression felt in his words.
“Sorry. I forgot. Did you hear? We have scouts going out tonight in search of our next resting place. Clan leader said it won’t be long before the first groups are escorted to Al Nuzem’s capital, and we can move on from this place. ”
The excitement in his voice was apparent, but I felt my heart sink.
I knew my time to decide my future was short, but I didn’t think it would be that short.
I’d only been here a few weeks. I hadn’t figured out yet how to function on my own around the clans or what I’d do if we were constantly moving.
I had no plans at all. The excitement of moving to a new land, of meeting someone who understood me, had distracted me from what was important.
I hadn’t even talked to Alice about our options.
Our last conversation had been about her gushing over Vaddarr, when I’d gotten upset and needed to play my music to even think straight.
Since then, I’d not given it any thought at all.
In all honesty, I’d stopped thinking about it around the time Garrun and I started spending time together.
Being with him, going to our place together and playing my music, it was freeing.
I hadn’t wanted to think about anything else.
GARRUN
I felt Henry go still when Faldar mentioned the scouts of our clan. I was unsure what it was about the comment that bothered him, and when Faldar turned to share the news with another clan brother, I leaned into Henry to ask.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he replied too quickly. He grimaced, shaking his head. “Sorry, it’s just… something I need to work through in my head.”
“Do you need to play your music?” I queried since I knew it was how he worked through his thoughts.
My question brought a quirk to his lips, just a hint of those fascinating indents on his cheeks peeking out as he smirked at me.
“You’d think with how often I play now, I’d have all the answers I could hope for.
But no, I don’t think playing will help.
I need to talk to Alice at some point, but I’m not entirely sure where she is right now, and if she’s with Vaddarr, I don’t want to interrupt her.
” He cursed under his breath. “Shit, I was supposed to be using the barbarian language. I haven’t learned anything new in so long, I forgot how hard it was for me to keep my focus while practicing.
The only thing I ever put that much dedication into was my violin until now.
I’m probably far behind everyone else in learning the language. ”
He spoke faster than he normally would, the words sounding just as conflicted as his face appeared.
Whatever was bothering him was obviously enough that he would forget to go slow when speaking.
I understood him needing to speak with his sister about it, they were close according to Henry and came to Al Nuzem together to start fresh, but I wished he would speak to me, too. If he was upset, I wanted to help.
Resting his bowl in his lap, he scrubbed his hands over his face, letting out a sigh. “I think it might be best for me to go back to my tent. I need to clear my head and–”
Worry over losing him had me acting before I could think.
I plucked the bowl from his hands, setting it aside with mine and took his hands, urging him to his feet.
He seemed surprised, hands tightening in mine, but he didn’t question where we were going until I ducked back into my tent and drew him in with me.
“Garrun? I–”
“I do not wish for you to go.” The words rushed from me as his had earlier. I did my best to keep them simple, at least, so that he might understand me better. “If you need rest, do it here in my tent. You are safe here, Henry. Please don’t go.”
His breath caught, and when his hands slid up my arms, I leaned forward, letting him touch my face to show him the anguish I felt over him leaving.
“Garrun… I didn't mean forever,” he murmured, lifting himself up to brush his lips against mine. “I have a lot on my mind right now, and I’d only planned to lay down for a bit and think about things.”
“Do it here,” I pleaded. “I like you here, Henry. I…” I felt my face twitch, and knew he could see my discomfort as his fingers traced the movement.
“Your sister is uncomfortable around me. I cannot come see you when I wish if you are in your tent. And she fears Ekkar. It is better if you are here.”
Huffing a laugh, he shook his head. “She won’t get used to you if you avoid her, you know.”
I didn’t care about that. I only cared about Henry. I worried after Ghil spoke so casually about me that Henry would see the distance I felt with my clan as a reason to step away. That my lack of joy would drive him away. Why else would he wish to separate so soon after the conversation?
His lips turned down a little, making my chest ache as he traced the furrow of my brow.
Things had been perfect the last few days.
Henry was always smiling. While playing his music, teasing me for snoring, or just listening to the conversations my brothers shared around us.
Even when we kissed, his lips curved into a smile as they pressed against mine.
Seeing him frown made my insides feel like they were shredding similar to the gronnok attack.
I never wished to be the reason he frowned.
Letting out a breath, he agreed with a small nod. “Okay. I’ll stay here for now. I’ll need to speak with Alice eventually, but I can tell you’re upset, and I don’t want to make it worse. What do you want to do until you have to return to your duties?”
Claim him. I didn’t say that out loud. But I felt it in my soul. Whatever I needed to do to convince him to stay, I would try my best to do so. He made me feel things I never thought I’d get to experience since the gronnok attack. I didn’t wish to lose what we’d found together.