20. Sebastian Courtland
20
SEBASTIAN COURTLAND
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Everything started going to shit as soon as I opened my eyes this morning.
That damn fucking picture. Why would someone invade another couple’s privacy by posting something like that? Didn’t they know it was dangerous? That they could ruin someone’s life by doing that?
Not that the person had intended to harm us. No. I’d tracked down the original post. It had been a lovely thing about “Love is love” and supporting gay marriage. That was great, but it was fucking up my life right now. I’d be lucky if Byron ever wanted to marry me after this.
Except if there was blame to toss about, it fell squarely on my shoulders and nowhere else. This wasn’t Byron’s fault or the company’s or even the person who posted the picture. I’d been the one stupid enough to engage in a secret affair and then do something as mindless as kissing Byron out in public.
I knew better. Common sense stated that if you wanted to keep things a secret, you did them in private.
But I hadn’t been thinking clearly yesterday. Byron had been in a lot of pain—pain I hadn’t known he’d been dealing with for more than a decade. I’d been desperate to do something, anything , to make him feel better. That desperation had made me stupid.
Now I had to clean up my mess and do everything I could to keep Byron from being hurt by my selfishness and carelessness.
A text flashed across my phone from my father announcing he’d arrived and that we needed to talk. That was a fucking understatement. I left my phone on the charger in my office. The battery had already lost half of its life, and it wasn’t even nine in the morning.
As I charged out of my office, I paused for a heartbeat when I noticed Byron wasn’t at his desk, in the break room, or speaking to Kaylan, who was briskly answering calls. Maybe he’d stepped out to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and pull himself together. If we could get through these first few hours, everything would even out, and we could get to work.
I continued across the long hall to the other side of the floor, where my father maintained an office. It was smaller than my own since he stopped in the office only four to five times per year now that I had taken over as CEO.
I walked in without knocking just as his assistant, Bridget, was getting him a glass of water. She gave me a nod as she passed by me and hurried from the room, closing the double doors behind her.
The office was cold and emotionless, filled with lots of black and silver. The windows faced the north, giving a view of the other skyscrapers of downtown and one of the many hills that surrounded the city. Everything about the style of the room was old-fashioned and reserved. I hated this room. I wanted to redecorate it, but it wasn’t mine, so I didn’t touch it.
John Courtland sat behind the large desk in a leather swivel chair that dwarfed him. I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, but it appeared as if his salt-and-pepper hair had become decidedly saltier. The wrinkles had multiplied on his face overnight and the line between his bushy brows was dug even deeper than normal. My father’s face comprised a lot of harshly carved features, as if the artist who made him couldn’t be bothered with smoothing him out to make him more handsome or kinder looking.
Dad and I generally got along. We frequently butted heads on several topics, but since retiring, he’d become more hands off with the company, content to let me run it how I saw fit.
Unfortunately, with the icy glare and frown directed at me, I got the feeling that today wouldn’t be one of those days.
“What the hell were you thinking?” my father growled so low I almost didn’t hear him, but somehow he still sounded as if he were shouting. “Do you have any idea how disappointed I am with you right now? How much you’ve tarnished the Courtland name? How you’ve damaged the company?”
“Why? Because I removed all doubt that I was gay?” The snide words were out of my mouth before I could catch them. I never reacted well to being backed into a corner, even when I was in the wrong.
My father slammed his hand on the desk with a loud boom , and I couldn’t help but flinch. “Don’t you dare make this about people accepting your sexual orientation! You know that’s not the issue.”
I lowered my head and forced my fingers to unclench. “You’re right. I’m sorry. This is about my dating an employee.”
“Dating an employee? This isn’t just about you dating an employee! This is about you dating your goddamn assistant ! Your mother told me you were dating someone new, but she neglected to mention he was your assistant. What the hell were you thinking?” he repeated at much higher volume as he rose to his feet. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? He could sue you for harassment. He could sue the company for creating an unsafe work environment. We’re in enough financial trouble as it is. If we can get through this year without layoffs, it’ll be nothing short of a miracle, but if your fling sues the company, there will be nothing left.”
“Byron isn’t some fling, and he’s not like that. He won’t sue Courtland Enterprises.”
“Well, I’m going to make damn sure of that. We’re not about to have another Thomas Cook incident.”
I mentally cringed at the mention of my bastard ex. He hadn’t gotten the chance to threaten Courtland Enterprises while I was in college, but I had a feeling he would have if I’d given him enough time and control over me. But Byron wasn’t Thomas Cook. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I have the lawyers working on some documents to save your ass and the company’s. We’re going to offer him a few million to sign a waiver, agreeing that he won’t sue you or Courtland Enterprises. I think that should be more than enough to satisfy him.”
I staggered. Nausea roiled my stomach, and I was sure I was going to be sick on his expensive Aubusson rug.
“You’re paying Byron off?”
“Yes, it’s the safest option for everyone. And I’m taking the money out of your portion of your inheritance.”
“Byron isn’t like that.”
“Everyone is like that,” my father grumbled.
This was spiraling out of control. I needed to take a step back, breathe, and de-escalate this before anything truly unfixable could happen.
“Dad, please,” I started again, speaking more slowly and with purpose, “I need you to calm down. You know Byron. He loves Courtland Enterprises, and he values all the people who work here. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. We don’t need to go to extremes. This was all my fault. I’m the one who hit on him. I’m the one who convinced him to date me. Why don’t you just punish me? Suspend me. Dock my pay for the year. Fuck, fire me! We can move Byron to be Declan’s assistant. He always needs someone, and Byron would be a great fit for Dec.”
“Have you lost your mind? This isn’t something that can be swept under the rug. You broke the rules. If we give you and Byron a slap on the wrist, how are any of your employees going to feel safe working here? How are they ever going to respect you as their leader?” My dad shook his head, looking more exhausted and disgusted than I’d ever seen him.
Stone after stone sank in my stomach as the sick feeling inside of me increased. This wasn’t the first time I’d disappointed my dad with my behavior, but this felt a hundred times worse. As if it were something I couldn’t come back from.
“The board has been calling for your resignation, but I’ve talked them down from it. You’ll take a brief leave of absence after you make a public apology, admitting your wrongdoing to the company and reasserting the importance of company policy to create a safe environment for everyone.”
I nodded. It was only fair. My recklessness shouldn’t hurt everyone else who depended on Courtland Enterprises for a paycheck. “What about Byron?”
“He’s out.”
My head snapped up and my heart stopped dead in my chest. For a second, I couldn’t even breathe or form a sentence. “What?” I rasped, still trying to get my body functioning.
“He’s gone. Fired. We let him go.”
“You can’t do that. This isn’t his fault,” I argued. It felt like the world was melting around me. My feet were sinking into the floor like I was stuck in a stinking bog that was sucking away all my strength. Every time I attempted to fight it, the pull on me grew stronger.
“He made the choice to date you, knowing the rules. The employee policy clearly laid out the consequences, and he agreed to it the day he took the job. We’re bending the rules enough for you. He has to go.”
“You can’t! I promised him I’d protect him. That he wouldn’t lose his job. We can just move him to another department, and everything will be fine.”
“If you promised that, you’re a fool, and he’s an even bigger one for believing you.” Dad slapped his hand on his desk and shoved to his feet. He leaned forward, staring holes straight through me. “Use your damn head! You promised to protect him? That’s the very thing the policy is in place to guard against! How is that fair to the thousands of other people we employ?”
The worst part was that what my dad was saying was making sense. Deep down, I knew he was right, and it was like daggers being thrust into my chest. How had I not seen it earlier? How could I have played so fast and loose with Byron’s life when he had so many people depending on him?
“But Byron…I love him…” I whispered. My brain kept turning in useless circles. I didn’t know what to say or do to fix any of this.
A heavy sigh drained out of my father, and he dropped into in his seat. “Go home, Sebastian. Take a day or two to get your head on straight. We’ll talk more after we’ve both had some time to think. This isn’t anything personal. I like the boy, and I don’t want this for him, but if we don’t take a stand, how can anyone work for us? We’re worse than that scum Wallace Barnes at Bluepoint with their years of embezzlement, lies, and cheating.”
I nodded and silently left my father’s office. My head was clogged with cotton and my throat was raw with the scream of frustration I was holding in. The only thing that was clear in my head was getting to Byron. If I could talk to him, explain how I’d fucked up, we could make a plan for him. This wasn’t the end of the world. I could support him, help him get on his feet.
As I walked down the hall, my eyes first lit on Kaylan, who was standing at his desk, glaring daggers at me. I almost paused to apologize to him and reassure him I’d fix things, but I forced myself to keep walking. I’d talk to Byron first and then Kaylan.
Byron was gone.
All the things he’d kept on his desk—the potted orchid, the stack of pens and legal pads for his random notes he took while he was working, his mug—were gone. A stranger sat there now. He looked like someone I’d met from the IT department. They were wiping his computer.
Byron was gone, and it was all my fault. I’d failed to save him.