22. Sebastian Courtland
22
SEBASTIAN COURTLAND
“Well, you look like shit.”
Pierce’s drawl rolled through the room, and I cursed my bad luck. Why did it have to be Pierce who came searching for me? Why couldn’t it have been Declan? He would have been content to sit in silence, letting me wallow in my misery. Good ol’ Dec didn’t offer commentary or judgments regarding my shitty choices in life.
Of course, Declan had been around to check on me twice and might have tired of my moping and whining, so he’d probably called in Pierce to force me out of my funk. Rome was usually willing to cajole me, but Pierce would throw punches if I gave him too much attitude.
“What are you doing in here? You having your bedroom remodeled?” Pierced strolled in and gave the guest bedroom a questioning glance, as if he were trying to decide if it was nice enough for him to sit in. He definitely didn’t need to know this was the same room where Byron had slept that first time he’d come to my house.
Three days had passed since that horrific disaster and since Byron had declared we’d needed to go our separate ways for a time. Because I couldn’t go into the office, I had taken up haunting my house. I wasn’t sleeping, and had no interest in eating. That left me with wandering the house and staring at the walls.
Today’s walls were the ones in Byron’s room. Not that it was really his room. He’d slept there one time. Thrown up in the toilet. And a little on my shoes. We’d chatted for the first time as people and not employer and employee here. I’d had my first glimpse of Byron as a real person here. I might have been infatuated with him from the moment I met him, but I knew talking to him at the table, hearing his personal story, that was when I’d actually started to fall. Now I was just left with that stupid marble egg in my pocket.
“Get up. Let’s go,” Pierce ordered, turning to the door.
“Where?”
“I’m getting you out of the house. You need some fresh air.”
“No. Go away.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Pierce complained. He plopped his hands on his narrow hips and glared at me, his dark hair falling forward onto his prominent brow. “I don’t understand this at all. Are you this upset about being put on leave? Declan says you’ll be back in the office by next week. The board is already asking for its maverick to return.”
I could only stare at him in open mouth shock for a second. “No! This has got nothing to do with work. What the hell!”
After shoving out of the seat I’d been sitting in at the table, I stalked out of the room, roughly brushing past him. I didn’t want Pierce in that room, anyway. He didn’t belong in there.
“Wait! It’s about that guy?” Pierce said, chasing after me. His hard-soled shoes slapped on the floor as he picked up speed until he could finally grab my arm. I tried to shake him off, but he pulled and swung me around. As I did, I brought up my fist. I was not in the mood for his shit.
“Whoa! Whoa! Stand down, asshole!” He released me in an instant and backpedaled a few steps. “I’m trying to find out what the fuck is going on with you. You’re not returning anyone’s texts or calls. You’ve holed up in your house. Declan asked me to check on you.”
Okay, so maybe that was enough to get Pierce worried. Declan was very hands off, letting people figure their shit out on their own. He didn’t get involved in problems unless you specifically asked him to get involved.
“Besides, when have you gotten emotional over some piece of ass? You could teach a master class in the art of the one-night stand.”
“Byron isn’t like that.”
Pierce sighed long and loud before grabbing me by the shoulders and turning me. He pushed me toward the kitchen and forced me onto a stool at the island. “Wilkins told me you’ve been skipping meals, and that Carol has been making sandwiches for you, hoping you’ll eat something soon.”
“I’m not hungry,” I grumbled.
“You know, she’s scared she’s going to lose her job. She’s convinced you don’t like her cooking anymore.”
I narrowed my eyes at his back. “You’re making that up.”
“Am I? I think I even heard that you were cooking in here one night.” He turned to me with a plate holding a carefully wrapped sandwich, a bowl of fruit, and another bowl of pasta salad. “Carol is a nice lady and a superb cook. If I didn’t love my chef, I’d consider stealing her.” Pierce slid the plate in front of me as he spoke.
Annoying. He was so annoying.
And he was definitely making up the entire story about Carol being worried about her job. That didn’t matter. The seed had been planted in fertile soil. Talking to Byron had made it clear how fragile someone’s life could be when they depended so heavily on that next paycheck. Not that I thought Carol was in that situation, but I also didn’t want her to worry.
Without a word, I peeled off the wrapper and started eating the sandwich. Thankfully, Pierce didn’t feel the need to comment or gloat. He dug into the fridge for a bottle of water for me and one for himself.
“Okay, tell me about this guy.”
“Byron,” I supplied.
“Byron. He’s your assistant.”
“Was,” I bit out. My stomach was souring, and eating felt like a bad decision.
“So, he got shit-canned because everyone found out you were dating.”
Yes, Pierce was the king of tact.
“Yeah,” I mumbled as I shoved the plate away.
Pierce immediately pushed it back toward me. “Tell me about him. He’s the one I met that time I came in to grab you for lunch about six months ago, right?”
I stared at my old college friend for several seconds. He was serious. The snarky jabs were gone, and he returned my gaze with a look of genuine concern and interest. Pierce was hard to get along with at the best of times. Where Declan was simply cold and reserved, Pierce was like trying to make friends with a honey badger that was constantly trying to rip your face off.
When we’d been in college, I was determined to get everyone to like Declan, so I’d forced Declan to accompany me everywhere until they just accepted him. The funny thing was that Rome and Sawyer had used the same approach with Pierce. Eventually, we were all together for so many years that we could no longer imagine a world where we didn’t see each other or talk every day.
The thing with Pierce was that he was all brick walls and boiling oil to keep people from seeing how damaged he was on the inside. It took ages to get past his defenses, and I couldn’t imagine the person who had the strength and patience to give it a try.
“Yeah. You met him at the office.”
Pierce nodded and cracked the seal on his water, unscrewing the top. “He’s cute, if you’re into that super prim and proper thing.”
“You know you are, so don’t give me that shit.”
My friend’s smile turned a little devilish. I might have had a reputation for being a bit of a slut in my twenties, but Pierce had been right there in the gutter with me.
“Only because they’re the most fun in bed,” Pierce purred.
“Stop right there. You may not think things like that about Byron.”
Pierce smirked but wisely moved on. “He’s the one we’ve been hearing about for the past few years that you have such a crush on. He’s the reason you stopped even attempting to date.”
“No one could compare to him.”
“How?”
His question stopped me short. “What do you mean, ‘how?’”
“How is he so great? I get that he’s adorable and efficient, but how did that translate into being this person who you’ve been enamored of for three years?”
I opened my mouth to chastise him for being so dense. Of course, Byron was amazing. How could he not see it? It was obvious when…
My mind went blank. What was it that had captured my attention? No, what had grabbed me by the throat and wouldn’t let me go, instead tightening its grip with each passing day?
That first day, it had been his tiny smile as I’d passed him in the main lobby. We’d caught each other checking one another out. Our gazes had slid down our bodies and slammed into each other as we made it up to our faces. The smallest lift of the corners of his lips. It wasn’t a smirk, but something similar. Like we’d shared a joke without ever saying a word.
The situation had become even funnier after it had turned out that he was there to interview for the position of my assistant.
But despite that shared moment, he’d always been one hundred percent professional. Yes, he was brilliant, efficient, analytical, detail oriented, and driven. Yet, within a year, I’d discovered he was also thoughtful and compassionate. No matter how busy he was, he always had time to help someone out, no matter who they were. He had a soft spot for everyone he met, and that only made me want to protect that vulnerability.
Each day, he’d been there at my side, making every hour easier. He’d listened to me complaining and my crazy ideas. He’d seemed to know naturally when I just needed someone to listen and when I’d needed suggestions.
What had driven me crazy was that he was always there to help me, but I’d never felt like I could return the favor. Not once had he shared anything personal. Until a couple of months ago, I’d known nothing about his family or his financial situation. To the entire world, he presented this guy who had everything under control and didn’t have a single problem.
Being able to listen to his problems and hold him had given me more joy that I would have ever thought possible.
“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quiet for this long. And that smile is getting a little creepy.” Pierce’s comments broke into my rambling thoughts.
“Shut up.”
“Got it bad, huh?”
“Totally. I want to marry him. I want to marry him, lock him up in this house, and keep him safe from the world while spoiling him in every way possible.”
Pierce chuckled and shook his head. “That a lot worse than bad. That’s a felony.”
“Shut up.”
My friend shut up and couldn’t speak for nearly an hour because I was too busy telling him all the things that I loved about Byron from the very first time I’d met him until just a few days ago. I told him about Byron’s family and his financial situation of supporting his disabled brother and mother all on his own. At the same time, I finished my plate, and we both picked at the charcuterie board Carol had also pulled together.
I finally stopped talking. My stomach was full and my heart didn’t feel as if it were still carrying around a dozen knives jabbed into it.
“So, let me get this straight. On a whim, you convinced him to risk this delicate balancing act that’s his life. Meanwhile, you couldn’t be bothered to take the steps to protect him from losing everything because…why?”
I winced at Pierce’s words, but I couldn’t argue with him. “At first, my reasoning was that if I did it too quickly, and we discovered we weren’t a good fit, I’d never get him back as my assistant. We might be horrible as a couple, but I knew we were great work partners. And then later…I might have gotten caught up in all the fun we were having. I didn’t want to rush losing him. For almost two months, I was getting to see him during the day and a few evenings a week. Everything fell apart so fast and unexpectedly.”
Pierce reached across the counter and smacked me on the side of the head. “You were greedy and selfish.”
“And I ruined his life. I’m not surprised he doesn’t want to see me. Who would want to date a selfish asshole?”
Pierce groaned and smacked me again, which earned a glare. “You were selfish, but you’re not normally selfish. I’m sure Byron knows that.”
“I need to fix this. To help him. Even if he doesn’t want to see me, I’ve got to make this right by him. And not by offering him money. He’s proud and doesn’t want to be taken care of. He needs a job.”
Pierce rolled his eyes. “God, I hope you don’t win him back. He’s a catch, and I plan to steal him from you.”
“Fuck you! He won’t have you.”
My dear, sweet friend flashed me a wicked grin. “Wanna bet?”
A boulder sank into my stomach, and I worried about losing everything I’d just eaten. Who the fuck was I kidding? Pierce was tall, dark, and fucking sexy. He could be smooth and charming when he set his mind to it. Why wouldn’t Byron fall for him? And Pierce probably would fall in love with Byron.
Didn’t I want Byron to be happy? Wasn’t that the important thing in all this? Of course, I was being selfish.
“Holy fuck, Cor! I was kidding. I’m not going to steal your man away.” He slapped his hand on the marble counter, jolting me from my bleak thoughts. “I might be a dick, but I like to believe that I’m not that bad. At least, not to my friends.” He straightened, a dubious frown on his face, as if he were having serious doubts about my sanity. I didn’t blame him. I was beginning to have doubts about my sanity.
“Let me check in with my head of HR tomorrow to see if we have any openings.” Pierce pulled his phone out of his back pocket and started typing himself a reminder. “I mean, I could always create a position, but if Byron is half as smart as you claim he is, he’d smell a charity job a mile away.”
“Definitely.”
“I’ve also sent a message to Rome asking him to check with his HR people. Maybe they’ve got something there.” Pierce tucked his phone away. “Even with this shadow over him, he’s a smart guy and has to have a killer résumé. I know he’s going to land on his feet. Once you’ve both had time to cool off and get stable, I’m sure you’ll be able to try dating again. It’ll probably be even better because you don’t have to worry about being discovered.”
I grunted, but it felt like my hope was sliding away with each passing day. The important thing was helping Byron feel like he was in control and safe. That would only happen when he had a job that gave him a sense of pride and self-worth. My fuckup had stolen all that away.
As I glanced at my friend, I briefly considered bringing up the topic of Sawyer’s little brother being in town, but I dropped the idea almost as quickly as it had formed. Right now, Pierce was in a good mood and feeling helpful. Mentioning Simon, or even Sawyer for that matter, would destroy all our goodwill and camaraderie. To be honest, I was exhausted. I didn’t have it in me to tackle that subject.
Sawyer had died well more than a decade ago, but the topic was marked permanently off-limits with Pierce. As far as I knew, he and Sawyer had only ever been friends. They’d never dated. Hell, I’d thought Sawyer was the one straight one of our group. Yet, Sawyer’s death had hit Pierce like someone had ripped out part of his soul. All our attempts to get him to open up and talk about it had been met with shouts, fists, and slammed doors. We’d learned to back off before we lost him as a friend.
I’d thought enough time had passed since Sawyer’s death that Pierce wouldn’t care about Simon moving to town, but he’d proved me wrong.
For now, it was something we couldn’t worry about. My brain was full of Byron.