Chapter 17
Isabel watched Sebastian leave. One of the servants stepped into her line of vision with a blank but inquisitive look. When she nodded, he closed the door.
And then she was alone, free from the scoundrel.
“Oh!” She groaned as she grabbed at the nearest item––a heavy chair––to give it a good shake. It hardly moved which only frustrated her more. “That… that man!”
How dare he? To tease and to mock me, to move so close only to slam a door in my face. What games is he playing? How dare he treat me so?
Huffing, she gave it one last shove before pacing to the other end of the room. It didn’t take her far. She wound up moving in a circle once, twice, and thrice until she felt she might grow dizzy.
Through the side door came in one of the servants with the first food dish, only to pause at the threshold. She eyed Isabel hesitantly before lowering her gaze. “Your Grace?”
She pulled herself up.
Right. I am a duchess first now. Before anything else. Before woman, before daughter, and certainly before wife.
“Thank you for your hard work this evening. I’m afraid plans have changed. Have a tray sent to my bed chamber shortly and the household can enjoy everything else,” she said while praying her voice sounded even.
Her grip on the chair was so tight her knuckles turned white. She also hoped no one saw that.
After Isabel excused the servants, she excused herself as well. There was so much hurt welling up inside her that it felt like it might overwhelm her if she wasn’t careful. Her heart pounded hard against her chest. It ached even when she gave it a gentle rub.
I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. That’s what went wrong. Thinking that he might care… that he might even think to kiss me… What was I doing? And why is he so bitter?
She looked down in the candlelight of one of the many rooms in the house where she had wandered in, doorway after doorway, to see her hands still trembled. Clenching them into fists, she let out a heavy sigh.
“Is this it?” Isabel asked the room while struggling to grasp her own emotions. “Am I meant to be a ghost in my own life?”
The emptiness offered no response. It only offered a reflection of her own feelings, forcing her to acknowledge that which she wished to ignore.
She didn’t want to be so disappointed in her marriage.
In truth, she feared, she wished for more.
She wished for a husband who cared for her and a marriage where they could be happy. Together.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Why couldn’t I be satisfied with us being strangers? This wasn’t a union either of us intended or desired… If only I could forget everything.
Isabel eventually made her way up to her bed chamber where she picked at her supper tray. It wasn’t long before she decided retired. Her maid offered several inquiries to see what she could do to help, but Isabel merely wished to be alone and to sleep.
Except sleeping through the night didn’t fare well. She tossed and turned for hours until she could take it no more. After she dressed in a comfortable dress on her own, she found herself a book and curled up in the drawing room at the front of the house.
“Who lit the fire?”
Her bleary eyes needed a moment to focus on the person standing in the dark of the doorway. That was where Sebastian preferred to be, apparently, in the dark.
Too tired to be surprised or intimidated, Isabel merely lowered her book. “I’m capable of caring for myself.”
Stepping further into the room, Sebastian looked at her thoughtfully before offering a silent nod. Then to her surprise, he strode closer. “Come with me. There is something I wish to show you.”
Her mouth parted in surprise, questions tingling on her lips.
They were stopped as her husband offered his hand. A very large hand with ruddy knuckles and short, clean nails. He settled before her without another word.
Hesitating, Isabel remembered his parting words to her. “You do not know what you ask.” So what was he doing? It seemed unlikely to be a punishment. Yet this hardly seemed like a proper apology. Her curiosity won in the end as Isabel set her book down.
“Here.” He scooped up the book after taking her hand, and even grasped her shawl. “This way.”
The surprise grew as he brought her out the side door to find the carriage waiting for them. Isabel furrowed her brow. The sun was barely rising. Where on earth could they be going?
“Are you doing away with me?” She felt the need to ask.
He shook his head before widening the door for her entry. “Everything is prepared for you, Isabel.”
“That’s not an answer,” she pointed out, her grasp on his hand tightening.
There was a twitch to his lips. “It’s important to me that I show this to you, Isabel. Please?”
Only because he asked nicely.
Isabel was soon bundled into the carriage with a cloak over her shawl, gloves, a bonnet, plus blankets and a hot brick. Reassuring her that there were also food and drink beneath the seats for their ride, Sebastian paused for a long minute before climbing in himself.
“You look uncomfortable,” she noted.
“I don’t like long carriage rides.” A forced smile appeared much more like a grimace on his face. She wished she could see a true smile of his. “But they are not impossible. Rest if you like, or read. We have a long ride ahead.”
Seeing the discomfort clear on his features, Isabel couldn’t bring herself to ask more questions. She attempted to return to her book but the morning light was still not adequate. It wasn’t long before she slumped in the corner and slept––all the way until they reached the city.
“London?” Isabel asked in surprise. “What are we doing here? Why? Where are you taking me, Sebastian?”
He gave a tap on the carriage roof and they turned. One glance out the window only left her more confused. She looked to Sebastian who ran a hand through his hair. There was something tight about his shoulders and features, like he wasn’t exactly glad to be bringing her here.
“We’re going somewhere I should not bring a duchess,” he said at last. Slowly his gaze lifted to meet hers. “But then, you were never going to any such ordinary duchess.”
Her chin lifted and she nodded.
The world grew heavy with anticipation and a tension she couldn’t explain. Soon Sebastian was bouncing his right leg, fingers drumming on his knees, like he wanted to run away. She was tempted to reach out and hold him. But neither of them budged until the carriage came to a stop.
“Here we are.” Sebastian darted right out the door. He brought her down in haste before waving to the driver. “One hour!”
It was a filthy street. She glanced around warily, recalling the fateful night she’d been attacked and thus saved by her now husband. There were so many shadows here even with the sun up. Her stomach growled lightly, realizing it had to be midday or even later by now.
Gray clouds offered only so much brightness. Everything here felt darker, these rows of streets without signs on the doorways or windows. Isabel didn’t know where they were or where she might go to safety should she need it.
“Quickly, my dear,” Sebastian muttered and tugged her down a door that led underground. She watched her steps, nearly stumbling, but he caught her when she nearly lost her balance. “And here we are.”
His hand left hers to settle on her back, ushering her through the doorway into a much brighter and noisier space.
It startled Isabel enough that she stepped closer to her husband.
Candles were lit everywhere in this large open space, even with short and wide murky windows letting in bits of daylight.
The energy buzzed about them as she realized she was in a men’s space where it was smoky and noisy and raw. Hardly the proper space for a lady of good breeding. Still, she didn’t shy away any further than where she stood in Sebastian’s side as she knew he could be trusted.
A gymnasium, she realized, was what this had to be.
The sport of boxing was hardly known to her.
She’d heard it mentioned a time or two, and even seen a sketch.
That was the only way she was certain of what she saw laid out before her, a few squares for boxing and large weighed bags dispersed across the room.
“It’s…”
“Disgusting?”
“Wonderous.” Isabel relaxed her grip on his hand.
Noting that many of the men were barely dressed should have had her in vapors, but she’d also had an obnoxious elder brother and his annoying friends in her household before.
The laughter and grunts and hits made a cacophony of noise that sounded like a perplexing orchestra.
If only she could piece together the notes…
Many of them wore dark colors, she noted, but for the shirts. Blue and gray were a favorite. She turned slowly to gaze at Sebastian. He had dressed fairly simply himself today, still in gray.
“Wondrous?” He echoed in perplexation. “Aren’t you scared?”
“Should I be?”
He paused before shaking his head. “No. No one will hurt you here. Come, let’s walk around.”
Letting Sebastian lead the way, Isabel listened as he explained the boxing rings and the weights. He explained the movements and the practice, the toughness required simply to practice before ever entering the ring for a boxing match.
She listened as best as she could. But there was no denying she didn’t belong there. A woman, covered up and dressed well, didn’t belong in a space like this one. There were several men here; all of them took turns to watch, to stare, and to wonder.
“Are you certain it’s all right that I’m here?” She had to ask.
Nodding, he reassured her, “No one will say or do a thing. They wouldn’t dare. They couldn’t even if they wanted to. I own part of this gymnasium.”
Her eyes widened. “I had no idea. Then you attend here often?”
“Yes.” Stopping off in a corner with a food cart, he poured her a cup of tepid tea before wrapping up two small biscuits for her. “Let’s go sit down for a while. Another match is beginning.”