Chapter 22
Sebastian handed off the last basket at the home of Widow Mary Mite just as the sun descended over the next hill. He had best be on his way as his horse didn’t like riding in the dark and he’d been gone longer than expected, but a duke couldn’t very well ignore his people.
“Oh, what a good lord you are,” Widow Mary’s voice warbled as she clasped her hands together in the doorway. “Your Grace, you are too kind.”
“And you are too free with your words, Mrs. Mite,” he said with a smile, hoping the strain didn’t give him away. “I’m only doing what any decent landowner should do for his tenants. It’s Christmas, isn’t it?”
Nodding, she wobbled backward to let him in through the door. He had to duck his head and, as always, it gave her a good chuckle. “It is, it is. But my niece tells me her landlord in London makes her pay more during the winter. He never brings her a basket.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Find her address and I’ll send her one myself,” he decided. “How is Elizabeth and Daniel?”
Widow Mary Mite was a thin, sallow-faced woman missing half her teeth. But she still had a fine eye for good leather stitches and she stubbornly refused to reside anywhere else but this little cottage where she had been born many years ago.
“You remembered!” She beamed while he offered her a chair. “Oh, they would be glad of that. I tell them they should return here to live with me.”
Family is family, after all. If I can live in a single room with two dozen other orphans, I’m sure three adults can manage in a cottage such as this.
It’s cozy. It’s lived a caring life with every human inside.
No matter the cracks in the walls, there is a warmth that Eastwynd could never truly contain.
Remaining standing, Sebastian thought to unload a few items from the basket before he might take his leave.
“Perhaps you should. But I’m sure Daniel’s learning important woodwork still in London.
Find their address and do let me know. I’ve added extra jams for you, Mrs. Mary. I know you like the lemon.”
“Oh! How you spoil me. Do sit, won’t you?”
If he did, he’d be here for hours.
“I really shouldn't.” Sebastian eyed the doorway. “It’s getting dark and I would hate to bother you.”
“How thoughtful you are! It will only take a moment. You must hear from my niece. She wrote me the most amusing letter.” Up the woman rose to her feet. “Now, where could it be? Do take a seat!”
Sebastian grudgingly resigned himself, unable to think of a reasonable excuse that would free him up. He glanced at his hands ruefully. No matter how big they were for fighting or how smooth they grew during his days of leisure, he still didn’t have a resolution for every challenge in his life.
It was another hour before he could escape the widow, who had insisted on feeding him nearly half a jar of honey he had meant for her to enjoy. But she was a kind soul who had lived a long and hard life, so he couldn’t very well be cruel to her.
The journey back to his estate was slow as it grew harder to see his footsteps. The single lantern he had for him and the horse only did so much. By the time he returned, he could see the relief shining on his stableboy’s face and his butler when he returned inside.
“Do warm yourself up, Your Grace.” Mrs. Maple came over to take his coat. “There’s fresh hot tea in the drawing room if you care to rest there.”
It wasn’t his usual choice. Tempted as he was for a hot bath, that would take a while to prepare. The tea would suffice. He nodded his thanks and rubbed his hands together on his way to the drawing room.
“Oh!” Isabel jerked up from the ground as he entered. “Do close it!”
Any sudden eagerness upon seeing her dissipated at her loud cry.
“What…” He obeyed on instinct, closing it just as a streak of white raced over his feet. Sebastian restrained a flinch as confusion washed over him. “The cat?”
Even in the candlelight he could see the flush on Isabel’s face as she clambered up to her feet. “I’m afraid I have… well, she’s playing.”
He picked his hands back up to rub together. Most of the chill was fading now with the roaring fire nearby and Isabel within a few steps of him. His hair was damp and he was certain his boots had cracked, but he didn’t pay them much mind. It was simply nice to see her again.
Trying to gauge her reaction to him, however, proved too complicated for him in the moment.
He blamed the long day. Most dukes would never bother to attend to their people like he did, for it was usually the duty of the duchess.
But he used to accompany his mother on the errand and had decided to do that for her this year.
A fine idea until he’d excused Isabel from joining him, which he’d spent the last couple of hours wishing he’d never done.
But what does that matter now?
With a short shake of his head, Sebastian looked down. “Are the two of you playing or is it just her?”
“Cats are fast. Kittens every faster,” Isabel mumbled in response.
I suppose a cat will run this household now. But she had never mentioned wishing for a cat before. Why didn’t I know about this? It’s not as if we don’t talk. If only I had made the time… But there are too many if only opportunities missed.
“I can at least do this,” Sebastian muttered to himself.
“Pardon?”
Sebastian didn’t respond. Looking toward the chair where he had seen the white streak disappear beneath, he knelt down on one knee. He rubbed his fingers together in a quiet movement before tapping the ground gently.
It only took a second for a paw to swing out at him.
Rustling behind him proved Isabel was headed his way. Sebastian moved his hand further back to draw out little Pearl. And then he had his other hand ready up above and out of sight of the cat when she struck again, allowing him to scoop up the kitten.
Immediately, she began squealing. Noisy little squeaks of indignant protest over being caught. Her eyes widened as she stared at him while he rose to his feet.
“I’m not the one causing trouble,” he pointed out to her. “Do behave yourself.”
Isabel looked at him with equally wide eyes. “That was practically fairy magic. You caught her so easily! How did you do that? You must have grown up with pets, perhaps?”
Memories flashed through his mind of the rats in the shadows they would eat when they were starving or wake in the night and find them eating their toes whilst in the slums of London.
His father had dogs at some point, he vaguely recalled.
Great shouting beasts that that barked and growled at him whenever he dared get too close.
“Not really.” He couldn’t resist stroking the cat.
The boys and him in London had managed to catch a feral one in the attempts to using it to get the rats out of their building, but the creature was gone the next day.
He’d always thought of them fierce and dangerous.
Never so soft. This fur was like a cloud, he thought.
Then Sebastian realized Isabel was staring and hastily reached out to hand her the pet. “Here you are.” It wasn’t his, after all.
“Thank you.” She jerked back when Pearl swiped at her. “Oh. Well. Perhaps you can hold her for a minute?”
“If you like.” Then he froze when the cat began to rumble with a sound so loud he nearly dropped her. It took a moment to recall that these were the creatures that purred. He hesitated when he saw Isabel frowning. “Is that all right?”
Awkwardness tinged the room like a light mist, making him uncomfortable. Shifting his balance, he considered scolding Pearl for misbehaving to Isabel.
She musters a smile. “Oh yes, yes, of course. Isn’t she darling? I’ve been playing with her all day. Chasing her from room to room. The servants said they would help, but I didn’t want to get in their way. They’ll be leaving off early this evening for Boxing Day tomorrow.”
Nodding, he glanced around. “I’m glad to hear everything is set up to ensure they get their day. Is… Is your brother here?”
“He left shortly after, I’m afraid.”
Good. I don’t like the looks of him and I don’t trust him. Not after everything I’ve read. Even Isabel was wary about him.
“I see. And you’ve been amusing yourself with Pearl since? What about the music?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been distracted.”
That made him frown, hearing what she didn’t say. “It has been a rather… unexpected holiday.” Sebastian noted how calm Pearl had collected herself in his hand, curled up like a little ball. “Would you still be interested in performing for this audience of two?”
“I didn’t think you carried a particular interest in music.”
“I might.” He paused as she raised an eyebrow. “Or perhaps I merely carry a particular interest in you. That is, we both do,” he added hastily, lifting Pearl up for Isabel to see. A distraction from his clumsy confession.
Twisting her lips into a slight smile, Isabel tilted her head up at him. She met his gaze; part of her seemed to tell him she had heard it all the same. But fortunately she didn’t call it out.
“Very well. I would be glad to perform for this very fine audience of two.” She collected the sheet music that had never left this room.
“I wish Thomas had stayed to listen. This was a song our parents would always dance to, you know. I would play for them, and they would twirl the entire time. My mother and father were never close except for during this song.”
Sebastian nodded, listening carefully as she shared her story. There weren’t enough that he knew from her, and he hungered for more. In the meantime, he would claim every drop he could about Isabel.
I just hope this means Thomas has left for good. I can’t imagine what he is doing out here after all that happened. It doesn’t sit right with me.
“Oh, you might as well sit next to me,” Isabel said after taking her seat and watching him note how far away the bench was for him to sit. “You can hear me better. I don’t want to disturb the whole house."
“You are a duchess,” he pointed out.
She smiled. “And a polite one at that.”
A slight smile of his own escaped Sebastian as he sat down beside her, gingerly at first since it appeared a weak sort of piano bench, and then settled beside his wife.
She had a beautiful smile, one he could look at for ages.
The candlelight behind her made her hair shine like gold.
And now she smelled like peppermint––Christmas and good cheer all wrapped into a pretty face.
Sensing the thudding in his chest, Sebastian tried to say something. To compliment her. As his gaze fell to her lips, so pink and plump, he forgot how to speak.
“Sebastian…” Isabel murmured his name like she had something to say. The look in her eyes told a story he hoped was real.
And then he found himself craving the taste of her. A kiss from Isabel would surely answer the questions he never dared to ask, or so Sebastian found himself thinking. There was something tender in the air that had him leaning forward, wondering if she would let him.
Plonk!
The two of them jerked back in surprise to the loud clanging noise that followed as Pearl had escaped his grasp to start plodding over the keys. She jumped over the black and white keys with her fur spiked up, clearly startled and panicking.
Tsking, Sebastian grasped her at once. “I’m sorry about that,” he tried to tell Isabel only for her to turn away from him to the piano.
What just happened? I could not have really meant to kiss her. Could I? What if I did? Perhaps it wouldn’t be so terrible. Maybe we could… No. Forget about it, Sebastian.
“Ah. It’s… It’s all right.”
“I mean, that is, I didn’t…” Sebastian hardly knew what to say as he felt embarrassment washing over him. It had been years since he felt so tongue-tied.
What am I doing? I don’t know what I’m trying to say any longer.
Shaking her head, Isabel fumbled with her music papers. “I told you, it’s all right. Pearl is an energetic kitten but she’ll tire herself out soon, I’m sure. I’ll manage her better in the future. Here we are. Would you still like to listen?”
“Yes, of course.”
Isabel nodded after double-checking her hand placement, then proceeded to play the song with her body and soul.
Sebastian found himself holding Pearl still, listening to the tune.
His eyes followed his wife’s hand movements and the way she weaved her body along with the journey, easing them through a story of hope and majesty.
It was a beautiful song that had Sebastian longing for more than he had ever dared to hope. Tears itched, threatening to fall.
Everything felt like a mistake. What he did, who he was, he felt like a stranger in his own skin and was desperate to find where he belonged. What he needed. To find who could help him. A lump formed in his throat as the song ended and Isabel turned his way.
“I clearly have some practice to do,” she admitted before cautiously asking him, “Did you like it?”
Sebastian mustered a stiff nod. “It was beautiful.”
“Thank you––”
“I should go. I have a bath being prepared,” he added suddenly and then dropped Pearl in her lap. “I should have remembered… Good night.”
Isabel clumsily caught her cat who tried to escape. Loud mewling whined as he turned his back on them for the door. “Sebastian? What about supper?”
“I’m not hungry. Eat without me.” He paused at the door. “Happy Christmas, Isabel.” And then he left, unable to face her for another moment while feeling a stranger to himself.