Chapter 23
“While I appreciate your offer of assistance, I should be all right and returned before supper,” Sebastian told Isabel two mornings later after he yet again refused her.
Yesterday on Boxing Day, she had offered to help start a fire and manage their meals with the servants having their day off. But he had refused, inviting her to relax while he busied himself.
The man always found a way to be busy.
It’s like all he wants to do. This wouldn’t be so awful if he wouldn’t keep coming so close like… like he is tempting me. Mocking me.
She glanced down under the table to find Pearl playing with his boots. The cat might sleep with her at night, but she seemed to prefer her husband more than anyone else. Frustration started to well up, so she pushed it back down.
“I only wish to help and it’s not as though the household needs me. They can function by themselves like they have when we aren’t here,” she pointed out. “Can’t you let me try to be useful?”
His brooding expression softened into something…
uncomfortable. Sebastian’s gaze lowered and he fumbled with his lower lip for a minute before sharing an awkward shrug.
“It’s not that we––well, it isn’t––I suppose it isn’t…
You’ll need to dress warm. It’s cold. And wear secure boots. It will be muddy and slippery.”
He was letting her go.
“Of course! I can do that.” Breakfast forgotten, she rose to her feet. “I’ll dress now. Shall we leave in twenty minutes?”
“Sure. I am sure the farmers will appreciate the additional help locating their lambs,” Sebastian added after a moment after collecting Pearl into his hands. He came around the table to deliver the cat to her.
“Animals sure like you. Are you sure you didn’t grow up with pets?” She asked with attempted cheer.
But the smile faded when Sebastian frowned. “I never had the opportunity. My childhood in London didn’t exactly allow for them.”
Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to remember the details she knew about her husband. They were more rumors than anything else, or so she preferred to believe. There was a hard look in his eyes, however, that made Isabel wonder how much might actually be true.
“Right,” she drew out slowly. “My apologies. I will… I’ll return to the main hall soon.”
Sebastian nodded without meeting her gaze. “Very good.”
The moment Isabel was out of the dining room, she raced down the hall with Pearl digging her tiny claws into her dress.
Mewling, Pearl couldn’t imagine what this opportunity meant.
Isabel murmured under her breath while she hastily changed into her plainest and easiest clothing to manage on her own, not wanting to waste time waiting for Amber.
“Behave yourself, my sweet,” Isabel instructed her kitten, leaving her nestled in the blankets and already exhausted, before hurrying out of her room hardly fifteen minutes later.
She hurried down the hall but stopped at the corner to take a deep breath.
Straightening her skirts, she fixed her gloves and pulled out the functional and warm bonnet from her pocket.
Nothing was forgotten. She would help the Lightfoot family who had lost several of their sheep in the last two days due to a broken fence.
She was ready to talk, to walk, and to prove to Sebastian that she was a duchess and wife equal to him.
Turning the corner, Isabel opened her mouth to announce herself, only to see that plans had changed.
“Thomas?”
He was pulling off his hat and cloak to Wesley who stared at him with a slightly disappointed expression. Or that’s what it looked like until he noticed her, and he nodded. “Your Grace. Are you at home for receiving guests?”
Not really.
Exhaling, she walked forward and tried to sort out what she might do able this delay. Could she refuse her brother? It was difficult to know where she stood with him after all that had happened; even if this was her own home, he was her elder brother. They were family.
“Thomas, I’m very glad to see you,” she started politely.
“As am I! It’s hardly the holiday season without family, isn’t it?”
Isabel considered that. “That is very true. Have you visited Mother and Father? If not, they would be very glad to see you.”
“But it wouldn’t be as delightful as spending time with you,” he countered. “Where is that husband of yours? The brooding duke?”
So I’m not the only one who noticed.
“Thomas, please,” she scolded him gently, then redirected their conversation. “I am meant to be with him now. We were going to help the village look for some missing sheep.”
He shuddered. “In this weather? It’s nothing but filth and slush out there, Isabel. You would surely catch your death out there. No, you must stay where it is comfortable and warm. Am I not your guest?”
“Well, yes, but…”
With everything handed off to Wesley, Thomas beamed at her and crossed his arms. “Then you have something better to do. Entertain me. Do you have any brandy?”
Annoyance washed over her as he passed her to make his way to the drawing room. She wanted to leave him or better urge him to take his leave, but Isabel couldn’t find the words. Sighing, she grudgingly turned to Wesley.
“Can you please find the duke and let him know I won’t be able to join him after all? Something came up. Tell him I wish it all goes well,” she said with a tight smile before following after her brother.
Walking into the room, she paused and let out a laugh of surprise when she found him pulling out a chess set. “Where did you find that?”
He grinned. “You know me. I will always find my way into a game. Shall we play?”
“I’m going to lose,” she pointed out. “I always lose.”
“You learned how to play a fair game, but you never learned how to cheat,” Thomas explained. “That’s why you never win. Come, I’ll show you.”
Her mouth dropped open and she scolded him, but it was difficult to turn him down. It always had been. Everyone had a hard time. Thomas would smile and tease and redirect the conversation with an easy compliment. This had always annoyed Isabel.
And yet, there was such a familiar comfort to having him there that she couldn’t deny. She had missed this. With her complicated relationship with Sebastian, Isabel liked knowing where she stood with someone. And her brother was easy.
He’s not perfect, after all. I simply have to remember who he really is. My brother, and a complicated man, who likes trouble. As long as I keep my distance, all shall be well.
“Wait,” Isabel cried suddenly. She stared at the board and gasped. Looking up at her brother, she glanced back down at the board. “Did I win? I won. I did it!”
Scowling, he looked around the board, studying each piece, before grimacing. As Thomas fell back in his chair, he crossed his arms. “Fine. I suppose you did after I taught you how to cheat.”
Smirking, she moved her knight. “Check mate. And I didn’t cheat.”
“Of course you did. It’s the only way you could beat me.”
“Or perhaps you are getting rusty,” she teased him.
The game was over. No matter what happened next, he couldn’t win.
But she decided to move the pieces further all the same.
She moved his and then hers, and then she captured all of his pieces.
Glee filled her, making her as light as a feather.
“Perhaps you are getting rusty in your old age, Thomas.”
Huffing, he rolled his eyes and slouched further on the loveseat. “I’m not that old.”
All Isabel could do was laugh to herself. Clearing the board, she returned the pieces to their proper place. “Would you like to play another game?”
“Certainly, I must redeem myself. But first, cake? Tea, perhaps?” He asked hopefully.
“Of course. Just one moment,” Isabel requested before stepping out into the hall. Wesley was shining shoes there, so she beckoned him over to speak to the kitchens for a moment.
Then she returned to the drawing room where Thomas had left his seat to look out through the windows. He leaned over the side table to get a better glance. “It’s still looking awfully damp out there,” he called to her.
“It is winter,” she reminded him. “The staff says being so close to the ocean makes everything twice as damp as London.”
He sighed. “I miss London. Don’t you?”
“It is strange not to be there,” Isabel admitted before giving it a moment of consideration. “I miss familiar places to visit. But… I like it here. It’s dark and damp, yes, but Eastwynd is still beautiful. I love walking outside and I like the staff here. It’s a lovely place to live.”
Turning, Thomas settled in the chair and gazed at her with a thoughtful look. “Do you truly like it or did you convince yourself that you like it because of the rumors?”
She stiffened. “You heard?”
A sympathetic and knowing glance speared his face as he studied her. “I told you, I care. I would have come if I could have. So I suppose I should be grateful to the duke. Well done, Isabel, finding yourself a husband to save your reputation.”
“It wasn’t like that,” she started before stalling, because they knew the truth. Isabel hesitated. She felt a flush of embarrassment warring across her cheeks as she cleared her throat. “It was all… simply… a misunderstanding.”
Thomas chuckled before rising to his feet. “That’s what it always is. Don’t worry, Isabel. You know I would protect you. You know I care about you. You’re my sister. It’s important to me that you are cared for. That’s why I’m here.”
“Thank you, I think,” she said with a tight smile.
“I’m sure whenever you return to London that all will be well for you. For your marriage, however, I cannot help but wonder… about the duke,” Thomas said with a slight wince. “This is hardly a normal union.”
Frowning, Isabel slowly moved away and went back to her seat. She thought a spot of distance might be good while she listened to whatever he said. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I know the duke saved your reputation. As he should, for the rumors that were going around were horrendous,” her brother added.
He gazed up at the ceiling mercifully as she felt her cheeks heat up.
“Honestly, Isabel, I cannot imagine what possessed you to be caught up with a man such as he. As relieved as I am that he did the proper thing, I do wish he also cared for you. Truly cared for you.”
Slowly she shook her head. There were so many instances of Sebastian protecting her that came to mind that she had to correct him. “That’s not fair, Thomas. You don’t know him like I do.”
“Then you do know him?”
Her mouth opened and closed. Then she did it again, struggling with her words. “I… I know enough. I know he cares for me.”
“But in what way?” Thomas persisted gently.
“The man is known for being dangerous. He has a cold heart, does he not? After the life he lived… He must. All of London says so. Perhaps he does protect you. Any husband should do that. It’s probably in the Book of Common Prayer.
But I worry it’s not enough. Look, you’re here all alone in this large house without a soul for company, so far from the world you know.
Does he know if you are happy? If this is what you want? Does he really know you? See you?”
“I…” Isabel shifted in annoyance, bristling over this barrage of questions. Maybe Sebastian knew her and maybe he didn’t. After all, did anyone really know anyone?
He’s just being annoying now, asking brotherly questions. He doesn’t know Sebastian, what my husband has done for me. And Sebastian is busy, that’s why he isn’t here. He’s always busy doing something important. To him, I’m simply… Well, sometimes I’m important to him. I think.
All Isabel wanted to do was protect her husband.
That was what a proper wife did. And Sebastian had been a good man to her, not one she should find much fault in.
Except… He didn’t really wish for her to have gone with him today.
Lately, he didn’t really want anything from her, only strange moments that left her questioning and confused about the two of them.
“Protection,” Sebastian was always telling her. “Nothing more.”
It’s so frustrating talking to him sometimes. I could have sworn he wished to kiss me on Christmas at the piano. The way my heart leapt… Except nothing happened. It never seemed to happen at all. I don’t know what is on his mind, how he keeps confusing me…
What if she was getting confused over nothing? As Isabel picked up another game of chess with her brother, she struggled to shove the words away. Because at the end of the day, she worried there might be some truth in regard to what Thomas was saying.
Sebastian was a good man, but what did he really see in her? A wife, or merely a duty?