23. Ajay
ajay
. . .
T he day at the beach hadn’t really gone like I had planned. After Whiskey walked off to make her phone call or do whatever she had to on her phone, she was different when she returned. Her normal jubilant, smart ass banter disappeared, and she acted reserved and somewhat standoffish, shooting off one-word answers instead of engaging in conversation. Still, I did what I could to make the rest of the day and evening enjoyable for all of us.
Today, though, it’s a different story. My calls to her have gone unanswered and my texts unreturned. I suspect it has to do with the fact that I kissed her, knowing she belongs to someone else. I don’t even know the guy, but I know they’re not in love with each other. If they were, she wouldn’t have come out to the beach with me for the day or would have invited him to come as well. I know her better than she knows herself. She’s loyal, maybe to a fault. That’s something I’ve always admired about her. What I find odd is that she owes me nothing and earlier in the week didn’t give a shit about following the sentence from Harvey. In fact, she told me she was willing to lie. I, however, am not. I want this marriage and find it comical that we’re “forced” to spend time together, mostly because Harvey knows he has no basis to order us to do so. Saul called me the day after I left Bailey and told me he was filing an appeal and that he was confident the divorce settlement would be imminent. I told him not to bother, that I wanted the three months to try and win her back and if she thought she had to see me, she wouldn’t be able to tell me no.
It’s an underhanded plan, but I’m desperate. I’m in love with this woman and I need all the help I can get. I was stupid to ever let her go, but the thought of living on the street with her, or in a sleaze bag motel, disgusted me. It’s not what I wanted for us and by the time I could actually provide something decent, I had been gone far too long. Proving that I’ve changed and that I never wanted to leave her in the first place is going to be an uphill battle…one she’s currently fighting with me.
I step into Bailey’s hoping to see her. Unfortunately, there’s a man behind the bar, wiping the top down.
“What can I get you?” he asks as I pick a stool. There are very few people in here and I assume that’s because it’s a Sunday. Everyone is probably still at church or at home cooking family dinners.
“Coke?”
He nods. I look around and find a few girls staring so I pull my cap down and keep my attention on the bar. The barkeep places my drink in front of me and sets a menu down, telling me to let him know when I’m ready to order.
“Is Jamie working?”
“Not today, she took the day off.”
“Gotcha.” I’m not going to let it bother me that she’s been off all day and couldn’t return my calls. I need to remind myself that what she does is none of my business, regardless of how much I want it to be. What I could’ve done though, was head off with Quinn and Nola. They’re driving to her parents for the day and invited me, but I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to see Whiskey. Now I feel like a fool. I should’ve taken the hint she was silently sending me.
After I finish my drink, I ask for a beer. I need something stronger, and I need food if I’m going to drink. My other option is to eat my lunch and head back to my room to enjoy my pity party for one.
I’m three drinks in when someone taps me on my shoulder. I’m half tempted not to acknowledge the person next to me, until they sit down next to me.
“Ajay Ballard, is that you?”
I lift my hat a little and apprise the guy next to me. “Lee Johnson, how the hell have you been?” I ask him. He looks like an older version of the guy I left behind. Lee was the guy who everyone thought would make it big. He made such a big deal about playing in the garage band, almost as if it were beneath him. If I remember what Whiskey said correctly, he married Jolene Johnson.
“Heard you were back in town.”
“Yep,” I say, finishing off my bottle. I show it to the bartender who nods in my direction. “Just passing through mostly.”
“Really? Jolene said she ran into Jamie at the park. She said Jamie told her you’re back for good and looking for a gig.”
If I had beer in my mouth, I would’ve choked. I shake my head slowly. “Funny story, Lee. I heard Jolene told Jamie that I came by asking if you wanted to join Sinful Distraction.”
His eyes go wide. “Oh wow, I mean I’m flattered but?—”
I hold my hand up, interrupting him. “Lee, no offense but we’re not looking to add to the group, and I think we both know I’m not in town to ask if you want to play in my band.”
The poor dude hangs his head, and now I feel bad. Back in the day, Lee and I weren’t exactly close. We both had an affinity for music and wanted to make a career out of it. Lee had won a few talent shows and everyone thought he was destined for stardom. I, on the other hand, was the kid who was going nowhere, who didn’t have a home, and could barely afford to feed myself. Guess life has a funny way of working out in the end.
“So, you married Jolene, huh?”
He nods. “Yeah, we have a little boy. Being a parent is pretty awesome, man,” he says, patting my shoulder.
“I heard.” The youngest kid I know is Chandler, Keane’s daughter. She’s pretty awesome, but mostly keeps to herself.
“How are things? Married? Kids? The band is successful. Jolene’s a big fan.”
The bartender sets a fresh bottle of beer down in front of me and Lee orders water, saying something about performing later. I think I’m in the clear and can avoid answering Lee’s questions, but unfortunately he’s looking at me, waiting for me to unload about my life.
I sigh, take a drink, and give him the dirt. “Band is great. We are on tour right now, but I’m trying to spend my off days in Bailey. No kids. One wife.”
“Congratulations, man. Who is she?”
This time I laugh. “Her name is Jameson.” I let her name hang in the air, along with a cheesy grin. Lee studies me; I suppose he’s waiting for me to crack up with laughter, but I don’t.
“You’re joking, right? Didn’t you guys get divorced years ago?”
Slowly, I shake my head while bringing the bottle of beer to my lips. “Doesn’t seem that way. Jamie forgot to file the paperwork to end our marriage.”
“Well ain’t that some shit. So now what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I say, shrugging. “Judge Harvey has a stick up his ass and isn’t granting us a divorce.”
“Man, that guy.”
On the inside I’m laughing, but to anyone watching me, I look like one pissed off dude who’s forced to hang out in his former hometown. I’m going to play it off as long as possible, at least until I can convince Whiskey that being married to me is worth it.
“Does that mean she gets half your money?”
Lee’s question gives me pause. I hadn’t really thought about any financial implications but imagine that she wouldn’t be entitled to anything. I signed the papers, proving that I wanted the divorce. Only now, since I’ve been back and have seen her, have my feelings changed.
“No, I don’t think so.” Even though I’d give her whatever she asked for. “What’s new with you? How’s the band?”
Lee turns and nods toward the stage. “I’m part of the house band here. We’re down a singer and a drummer tonight though. The flu has been going around.”
“That’s hard man.” A few months ago, Dana came down with a cold and happily shared it with all of us.
“Hey, do you have plans tonight? We could really use you on the drums. Our acoustic performances aren’t really that great, if you know what I mean.”
I glance at the stage and find myself nodding. “Why the hell not? I don’t have anything better to do tonight.”
Lee claps his hands together and smiles like he’s just won the lottery. When he motions toward the door, I crane my neck to see who he’s eyeing.
“Speak of the devil,” he says as I stare at Whiskey, the guy standing next to her and… the little girl holding her hand. It’s the same girl in the pictures I saved from Dhara’s profile.
Every hope I had about staying with my girl dissipates rather quickly. I know deep in my heart that the reason she’s avoiding me is because she’s in a committed relationship, despite what she told me, and was only with me yesterday to appease me. A reconciliation of our marriage is unlikely.
Turning away from the door and the look she’s giving me, I chug my beer and ask the bartender for another one.
“Hey man, don’t get drunk. I really do need you to play.”
“I’ll be good,” I tell him. “Do you have any sticks for me?” I have some in my bag back in my hotel room but I’m afraid that if I leave the bar, I’m not coming back.
“Yeah, I’ll make sure they’re with the kit when you get up there. See you in about thirty?”
“One last question, what are we playing?” Lee digs into his pocket and hands me the set list. I look it over, confident that I know all the songs. “I’ll meet you up there.”
Lee leaves me at the bar and I immediately wish I had followed him because Whiskey’s near me and being close to her is the last place I want to be right now.
And because I’ve had a little bit too much to drink, I can’t keep my mouth closed. “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” I say, taking a long pull off my bottle. I tip the bottle toward her boyfriend and smile.
“You’re drunk, Ajay,” she mutters through gritted teeth.
“Not yet but I’m thinking about heading in that direction really soon. Hey man, I’m Ajay, Whiskey’s friend .” I purposely leave out that I’m her husband because for all I know, she’s lying to him about me and as much as I’d love to air our dirty laundry, I’m not about to hurt her. Right now, I’m not sure I believe her about much of anything. Yesterday, she made it seem like they weren’t that serious but the little girl between them tells a different story.
This little girl… she’s fucking adorable and looks just like her mom with blonde pigtails and hazel eyes. She’s the same one from the photos I found on Facebook and subsequently saved on my phone. I didn’t want to believe Whiskey had a child because I knew that once I did my heart would seize, and sure enough the stabbing pain I feel is my heartbreaking. She smiles and shows me that she’s missing a tooth, but then turns shyly into her mom’s side. I get it, stranger danger. I’m all about it. Whiskey’s hand comes protectively around the girl’s shoulder, pulling her closer to her.
“She yours?” I look at Whiskey and ask one of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to ask her.
Whiskey’s eyes divert to her feet. I’m trying to hold it in, but my heart is fucking broken. Our child didn’t thrive when Whiskey was pregnant, but hers with another man did. I never thought I’d care as much as I do, but this is painful. I wipe away at the tears forming in my eyes and stand.
“Where are you going?” she asks, finally breaking the silence.
I point to the stage and clear my throat. “Lee asked me to play with the house band.”
“Oh great,” the guy with her says, “Jamie tells me you’re really good on the drums.”
Swallowing hard to get rid of all the emotions threatening to take over, I nod at the guy who has won the heart of the girl I’m in love with. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
He offers me his hand to shake and as much as I don’t want to, I’m going to be a bigger man and suck up my pride. “I’m Logan.”
“Logan, right. Well I hope you enjoy the show.”
“I’m Evelyn,” the little girls voice rings out. “And today I get to come here because it’s kids’ day.”
I crouch down and gaze into the eyes of Whiskey’s daughter. “Well Evelyn, it’s really nice to meet you. I’m Ajay.” I shake her tiny hand and walk away as soon as possible knowing full well that if I say anything else, Whiskey will know she’s gotten the best of me.