33. Jamie
jamie
. . .
I jolt awake, open my eyes slowly, and reach for my phone to look at time. My heart is racing, and I believe it’s from the loud bang that woke me. I turn my head slightly and look toward the window, not sure what I’m expecting to see, but anything would be better than thinking someone’s breaking in or lurking around the outside of my house. It’s just after seven and far too early for me to be awake, especially with Evelyn staying at my parents. I expected, or at least hoped , that Ajay would surprise me late last night but he didn’t. He called though, to tell me that he was going to be later than planned due to some band thing. I did my best to keep my voice steady and to not let him know that I was upset. If I’m going to have a life with him, I can’t let the little things bother me. He didn’t cancel, he is just going to be late, and it’s not like we had any major plans to do anything. He’s only coming to help me pack and drive the rental truck across the country. Absolutely nothing life altering or major, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
The loud bang sounds again and again and my name is yelled. Now that I’m awake, I know it’s coming from my door, and the only person who would do something like this is Dhara. “I’m going to kill her,” I mutter as I get out of bed. As I make my way through my house, I think of all the ways I can maim her and how I know Fletcher will forgive me for hurting the love of his life once I explain to him why.
“What?” I screech as I open the door. My neighbor across the street is out. He’s bent over, retrieving his paper when his head snaps up. I wave, hoping to convey a sincere apology for my outburst before glaring at Dhara. “What in the hell do you want?”
“We have appointments to get our hair done.”
“Since when?” I ask as she side steps me to get into my house. “Come on in, I wasn’t sleeping or anything.”
“You can sleep later,” she says as she makes her way to my bedroom. I follow her with the intent of going back to bed but find her rummaging through my closet.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking for a button up shirt.”
“What for?”
“For you. Hair, remember?”
I roll my eyes and crawl back into bed. “You’re not making any sense. Can you please leave or just come lay next to me? I didn’t sleep well.”
“Why not?” she asks loudly.
“Ajay, he called, and I thought he was going to tell me he was in town, but he was calling to say he wouldn’t be here until later. My hopes were up and then down?—”
“And then you laid in bed looking at your ceiling thinking about all the terrible things he might have been doing, to which you proceeded to second guess yourself about all of your decisions?” She’s standing at the foot of my bed with a flannel shirt in her hand; she tosses it to me. I bring it to my nose and inhale. Little does she know that it’s Ajay’s. I took it from him when I left his house. I needed something of his to hold me over until I saw him again.
Dhara sits down next to me. “Jamie, I love you. You’re my best friend. But I want you to hear me and absorb what I’m telling you. Ajay Ballard is head over heels in love with you. I promise you that those stupid little thoughts you’re having are very misplaced. That man will not do anything to intentionally hurt you ever again.”
“I know,” I say quietly, still cuddling his shirt. “I can’t help it though. I read things.”
“Stop reading the shit on the internet.”
“You do,” I point out.
“That’s because I’m a fangirl. I read so I can pretend I’m there and part of the scandal.”
“Dhara!”
She shrugs. “It’s all a fantasy, J. I would never be the woman to break up a marriage. Ever. I’m not that person, I don’t care how famous the person is. That’s not how I roll, but I pretend. I picture myself married to guys like Liam Page because it’s an escape from reality when the truth is that I met the guy and couldn’t even form a sentence. Like, my rock God was standing in front of me, shaking my hand and smiling, and the only thing I could do was swallow. Fletcher saved me. He said everything to Liam and the other guys that I’ve wanted to say for years. It probably took me an hour, if not longer, to finally find the courage to move from the spot I was standing in and mingle. But by the end of the little party, I was comfortable.”
“And more in love?”
“Yeah, with what he shares with his wife. She walked in and bam! The whole room shifted on its axis. I want a guy to look at me the way Liam looks at his wife.” She nudges my hip with her elbow. “The way Ajay looks at you when you come into view. From the time we were kids, I’ve been jealous of you both. I knew early on what love at first sight was. It was Jameson and Ajay, two souls destined to be together, come hell or high water. You’ve already been through hell and he’s going to be your ark to get you through the high water.”
“When did you become so philosophical?”
Dhara smiles. “Let’s go, seriously we have hair and nail appointments this morning.”
“They’re not even open yet.”
“They will be by the time we get to Wilmington.”
“But Ajay?—”
Dhara tugs on my arm, pulling me upright. “We’ll be back before he even gets to town. Come on, get dressed and wear that shirt. I want to beat traffic.”
Until today, I have never been to a salon that has black drapes over their mirrors. The stylist says it’s because there was a death in the family, and they were in mourning. Add this oddity to the fact that the salon sign says they’re closed, cell phones aren’t allowed, and no one asked me what I wanted my hair to look like. I’m fairly confident that when I leave here, I’m going to look like Frenchie from Grease and all Dhara can say is that I look beautiful.
She does, of course. Her hair is done in a French twist and her make-up looks flawless. From what I can tell, mine is curled, braided, twisted, and pinned. After this, I’m not so sure she can be my best friend anymore. Who brings their bestie to a place like this knowing full well they’re seeing the judge today? Mine, that’s who.
“Close your eyes,” the stylist says to me. I do, reluctantly.
“What’s going on?” I ask anyone who is willing to give me a straight answer.
“We’re being pampered,” Dhara says. “Enjoy it.”
“I feel like this is a set-up.”
“It is,” she laughs.
“What?” I turn my head quickly. “Shit, sorry,” I tell the woman working on me. She doesn’t say anything but mutters a few expletives that shouldn’t be repeated in public. “Dhara, you need to start talking, immediately.”
She sighs. “You’re such a buzzkill. Ajay is taking you out to dinner tonight and he thought you’d like a day at the spa.”
“This isn’t a spa,” I say through gritted teeth. “A spa means a massage, a mud bath, a mani and pedi. For all I know I look like Bozo the clown.” I glance at the girl working on me and cringe. “Sorry.”
“Well I needed my hair done, so this was an easy solution.”
“Yeah, for you.”
“Eh, whatever.”
“What do you need your hair done for?” I ask her. “Are you finally going to tell Fletcher how you feel about him?”
Dhara doesn’t have a witty comeback and when my make-up gal steps away, I turn and look at her. She’s brooding and acting like she’s engrossed in the magazine that she’s flipping through… likely one she’s already read.
“Fletcher loves you, Dhara. And I have a feeling you feel the same way. I think it’s about time you both take a step forward before it’s too late.”
“Late for what?”
“He’s leaving, D. He was offered a job in Raleigh and plans to take it. He wants you to go with him.”
“And what? Be his roommate?”
I laugh. Leave it to her to play clueless. “To move with him. Don’t play dumb with me right now, I’m sitting in this chair and don’t have a single idea of what I look like.”
“You’re beautiful,” she tells me.
“And you’re biased and avoiding the elephant in the room. Fletcher loves you and you love him.”
“As a friend.”
I shake my head slightly. “I don’t buy it one bit. He’s your guy. He’s your go to, the one you call for everything. He stays at your house almost every night, sleeping on the couch because he wants to be close to you when he has a perfectly great apartment of his own. You have dinner with him five out of seven nights. Meet for lunch, breakfast, and go shopping. You’re in a relationship without being in a relationship.”
“What we have is perfect.”
“What you have is nice. It’s far from perfect. It’ll be perfect when you tell that boy how you feel, but first admit to yourself that you’re in love with him.”
“So, what if I am?” she asks defiantly. “If he’s moving, what difference does it make?”
“It matters because he wants to build a life with you, and if he were to leave, you’d be devastated.”
“How do you figure?”
“You’re all done,” my stylist says. I’m tempted to ask for a mirror but am sure I’d be told no. I stand and go over to Dhara.
“I know because you haven’t said anything about Evelyn and I moving. You haven’t cried, complained, or told me to stay. You’ve helped me pack and each night gone back to Fletcher. If he leaves…”
I study her for a minute, looking for any sign in her eyes that my words are getting through. She closes the magazine and gives me a soft smile. “If I tell you that I love him will you drop this?”
Shaking my head. “Nope. I want you to tell him.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you’ll finally understand the heartache that I went through when Ajay left, and believe me, Dhara, you don’t want to experience that.”
She doesn’t say anything, except “thank you” to the staff. When we get outside, there’s a limo parked in front of the salon with the driver standing by the door. “Let me guess.”
Dhara links arms with mine and says, “It’s best that you just play along.”
Left with no choice, I climb into the back and settle in. I am somewhat familiar with Wilmington and figure I’ll know where we’re going after we start driving, but as luck would have it, the windows are covered.
“Let me guess, it’s a secret?”
“Of course,” she says. “Your boy is pulling out all the stops for a nice romantic dinner.”
I want to be upset, but I can’t. If he’s putting in an effort like this, I’m going to enjoy it, even if I’d rather be at home waiting for him. We’re not in the car for long when it’s put into park and the back door is open.
“Close your eyes and don’t peek,” she says, taking my hand and pulling me from the car. I do as she says, trying to be good for Ajay, but it’s damn near killing me not to open them. She tells me when to step, when to turn and finally when to open my eyes.
We’re in a room with no windows, but there’s a mirror and a dress side-by-side. “Dhara,” my voice breaks as I say her name. “What’s going on?”
“Well, if I had to guess, I’d say someone is getting married today!”
I look at her, willing my tears to go away. “Explain please, before I have a breakdown.”
She leads me over to the vanity and sits me down in front of the mirror. I look at myself, with my perfect make-up and my long hair done just the way I’ve dreamed. My hand covers my mouth as she hugs me from behind.
Dhara moves to my side and touches the dress hanging there. “For years, I’ve watched you mark dresses, hair designs and wedding ideas, knowing that if you were to ever get married again, you’d want your fairytale. Well, I’m here to say that your dreams are about to come true.”
“How?”
“Ajay,” she says. “He wanted to give you something new to start your life together over with. We’ve been planning this for weeks and let me tell you, Josie Westbury — that’s Liam’s wife in case you didn’t know — has some serious pull when it comes to weddings. Ajay asked Mrs. Harrison, your mom and me to pull this together.”
As if on cue, the door opens and my dad, dressed in a tuxedo, steps in. My mom follows and Evelyn is behind her, dressed in a matching gown. “Oh my,” I say as tears start to fall. “Ajay did all of this?”
Dhara and my mom nod. “We helped, but it was his idea. He wanted you to have your fairytale wedding, something he couldn’t give you before.”
“May I come in?” Katelyn asks as she peaks her head in.
“Of course,” I tell her. I stand and give everyone in the room a hug. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You have to say, ‘I do’, Mommy.”
I kneel and look at my daughter. “I think I can do that.”