Chapter 3
three
. . .
T he last time I sat in the chair at my lawyer’s office, it was for advice on how I’d adopt Noah. Liam had just returned, and my life circled the drain. Everything I thought I knew, thought I had, disappeared in the blink of an eye. Or the roar of a motorcycle engine in this case. The moment he came back to Beaumont, I knew there was no way Josie and I were going to last. She could have denied it all she wanted, but I knew the truth. She was, and always had been, head over heels in love with him. I was stupid enough to think I’d be enough for her to get over him. At the time, I probably was.
My lawyer comes into his office, clears his throat, and then sits down. He has a manila folder with him. It’s thin and lacking contents but I see my name on the front and imagine it’s on the tab as well. What a shitty client I am, never giving him any business. Not even malpractice. Maybe that makes me a saint. Who knows.
I’m uncomfortable. The office has a smell to it. I can’t pinpoint what it is, other than an old, musty odor. Everything in here is brown. Brown desk, chairs, drapes, bookcases, and carpet, to go with spots of red, blue, and green from various law books. And the manila folder. It’s drab, lifeless, and it makes me think being a lawyer is a boring job.
Lesley Wroughton clears his throat again and clasps his hands on his desk. “My secretary said this was urgent.”
“It is,” I say and then wonder if all his clients say the same thing. No one likes to wait. “My wife wants a divorce. I don’t, but that’s not the problem.”
“What is then?”
“She wants to take my kids to South Africa to live with her and I’m not okay with that.”
“I see.”
Does he? What exactly does he see?
He opens the manila folder and makes some inaudible sound, almost like a huff and a tsk combined. “If I’m doing my math correctly, you have one child and he’s well above the age of eighteen.”
Oh good lord .
“I believe you’re looking at the case I came to you last time for. Since then, I’ve married and have two children, Mack and Amelie. They’re sixteen and ten, respectively.”
“I see.” He jots some notes down. “And your wife’s name isn’t Josie?”
“No, it’s Aubrey.”
“Okay. How long have you been married?”
I fill him in on everything, from where we met, to our wedding, the birth of Mack, and then Amelie. I tell him I’m the primary breadwinner and that Aubrey and I agreed she didn’t need to work while raising the kids. She maintained an office in my practice and would fill in when one of the nurses was out, but mainly focused on research and women’s health. I made it known around town that if a woman couldn’t afford care, they could come see Aubrey and not worry about paying. It was shortly after Peyton and Noah got married, Aubrey decided to stop coming in. Eventually, the office space turned into storage, and she has since let her nursing license lapse.
“All right. And now she wants to take the kids on vacation?”
“No, to live,” I remind him. “It’s where her parents live.”
His hand scribbles over his notepad, pauses, and then writes again. “Will Mrs. Ashford have a lawyer in the divorce proceedings?”
“I don’t know the answer to that. What I do know is she’s purchased one-way airline tickets for the day after school finishes for the holidays and plans to take the kids with her. Mack refuses to go but Amelie wants to go. I don’t want them to go at all.”
This entire time, I’m talking to his head. He never looks up. He stares at the legal pad that he’s scribbling on and fires off questions.
“Okay, we can file a temporary order barring Mrs. Ashford from taking the children out of the country. But I’ll be honest, it’s paperwork and you’ll have to report them as kidnapped in order for the authorities to do anything.”
“What about their passports?”
“Are they US citizens?”
“Dual,” I tell him. “Aubrey was born in Cape Town.”
He finally looks at me and nods. “As their mother, she can get their passports reissued without your permission. The injunction will keep them stateside, if you happen to be there when she leaves with them.”
“So, I’ll have to watch her?”
He nods. “I’ll have to look up the law and see what kind of agreement we have, but child custody is hard when other countries are involved. If she’s a citizen and goes to the government with a story against you, they’re liable to protect her and the children. It’s all very messy. Can I ask whether you hit her? Or the kids?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“Are you a drinker? Smoker? Drug user?”
“Social drinker, but that’s it.”
“Is there anything Mrs. Ashford can use against you?”
“Not if she’s telling the truth, but I’ll be honest, we haven’t been on great terms for about a year, the past few months have been worse. I’m not sure I trust her to be honest about much.”
“What happened a year ago?”
I shake my head slowly. “I have no idea. It was like a switch flipped and she was no longer interested in me. I tried, but after a while a man gives up.”
“And seeks attention elsewhere?”
“No, I’ve been faithful to Aubrey through all of this. I have never strayed, despite her accusing me of doing so.”
“You said your daughter wants to go with your wife?”
I nod. “From my experience, it’s the mother-daughter bond. Amelie’s young, impressionable, and extremely close to her mom. Aubrey coddles her and gives her what she wants. Amelie uses that and plays me against her mom all the time. She’s also a pre-teen and those years suck.”
Lesley laughs. “Believe me, I know.” He scribbles some more. “Has there been any discussion of a custody arrangement?”
“No,” I tell him. “She’s adamant that she’s taking the children because she’s their mother.”
“She can say what she wants, but the law is on your side.”
Thank God .
“With that said, I like to encourage my clients to figure out a solution before they file. The courts appreciate it, and it makes it a lot easier on the kids. Do you think you and Mrs. Ashford can come to an agreement beforehand?”
“I’m not sure. We want two different things. Our son excels in school here. I don’t want to take him out of school to move across the world. He’d have to give up what he loves, football and baseball, not to mention his friends and classmates. I proposed we move as a family after Mack graduates from high school in two years. I thought she’d go for that, but she refuses, she wants to go now and then asked for a divorce.”
Lesley sighs. “I rarely suggest this, but have you considered staying here and letting your wife take your daughter with her?”
“What?” Surely, I’ve misheard him.
“Here me out,” he says. “From what you’re telling me, Mrs. Ashford is determined to return to her home country with her children. Well, one child. Mack is old enough to decide where he wants to live, and a judge wouldn’t force him to leave the country if he didn’t want to. With him out of the equation, that leaves your youngest. She’s close to her mother?”
“Extremely.”
“And Mrs. Ashford is demanding to take the children, regardless?”
I nod.
“As your lawyer, I’m going to suggest you let her.”
“Excuse me?”
Wroughton holds his hand up. “If she takes your daughter without your permission, you’ll report her for kidnapping. The police will arrest your wife in front of your daughter. Do you want that?”
I shake my head slowly.
“If she takes your daughter and you report her for kidnapping, you’re then fighting a foreign country to get your daughter back, which honestly could be extremely challenging and costly. Playing nice is a much better option, and tucking your pride is much easier than pitting your daughter against you because you had her mother arrested.”
My hands grip the arm rests. I can’t believe what he’s telling me to do—let Aubrey take Amelie to Johannesburg—and then what?
“What if I never see her again?”
He looks through his notes. “You’ve been there before?”
I nod. “Yes, with Doctors Without Borders.”
“I’m assuming your passport is in good standing?”
“Yes.”
He shrugs as if the answer is obvious. “Go visit. Hell, volunteer for a month. Do it every few months, but go there, be present. And if the time comes when you need the courts help to get your daughter back, it’ll be proven that you were there for her.”
I don’t want to admit it, but what he says makes sense, even if I hate every part of it. I don’t know if I can give up Amelie. We may butt heads right now, but she’s still my daughter. My baby. I can’t imagine her living across the world, living the lifestyle her mother wants to live. I doubt Amelie would survive.
“Do you really think that’s best?”
“I’ve told you what the alternative is, unless you can get Mrs. Ashford to stay here.”
That’s unlikely.
“I guess I have a lot to think about where Amelie’s concerned. About the divorce, though, I’d like to move forward.”
He nods and starts writing again.
After the appointment, I go home, hoping Aubrey’s there and wishing she isn’t. What a fucking feeling to have.
Inside, soft music plays from the bedroom. I make my way down the hall and stand in the doorway. Aubrey’s dancing, swaying to the music. We used to do this at night, after the kids went to bed. It was our thing. Our way to calm down before turning in for the night. Watching her I try to remember when we stopped dancing, when we stopped caring about each other. The thing is, I still care about her. Hell, I love her. Am still in love with her.
She turns and startles. The happy expression she had morphs into anger. Hatred. When and why did this happen to us?
“Don’t be mad,” I say to her. “I came home to talk. I don’t want to fight with you, Aubrey.”
“Then give me what I want.”
“It’s not that easy. You want to destroy our family and take my children away from me. Just thinking of not having them here, in the house they grew up in, rips my heart out. They’re my life. You’re my life. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the three of you . . . except this. I can’t. We can’t do this to our son.”
“I don’t want to be here anymore, Nick.”
“I know, so let’s compromise.”
“What do you have in mind?”
I take a big breath and lean harder into the doorjamb. “Liam and Josie have invited Mack to go skiing in Vermont after Christmas. Their entire family is going. Noah, too. I told Mack he can go.” I hold up my hand when she starts to say something. “Yes, I should’ve talked to you, but I’ll be honest, Aubs, you haven’t been the easiest to talk to as of late.”
“Go on.”
“With Mack with the Westburys’, why don’t I fly with you and Amelie to Johannesburg. I’ll help you get settled. I’m worried about Amelie and how she’ll acclimate. I gather you’re heading to a village?”
She nods.
“Have you thought about schooling? Living arrangements? Her activities? You’re selling her on this lifestyle, and I’m afraid she doesn’t understand it.”
“I’ll figure it out when I get there.”
“Aubrey, what are you going to do with a ten-year-old who is used to living like this?” I wave my hands in a grandiose gesture to everything she and the kids have. Everything I’ve provided for them, to give them a comfortable life.
“She’s going to learn material things aren’t needed in the real world.”
I nod and want to wish her luck, but I don’t say anything. There’s no way I can let Amelie go to South Africa with her mom. It would be like her going alone.
“So, that’s my offer. We can leave after Christmas.”
“No,” she says pointedly. “I plan to spend Christmas with my parents.”
“They don’t celebrate Christmas,” I remind her.
She has nothing to say.
“Do you really want to interrupt their Christmas?”
“It’s too late,” she tells me. “I have to be there by the twenty-first. I’ve already talked to Amelie, she wants to go with me, Nick.”
“I know she does. I’m only trying to protect her from disappointment.”
“What if she loves it there?”
I fight back a wave of emotions. “I did, when I went, but I was there with a different purpose. I fell in love there. It’ll always hold a special place in my heart, and I hope for your sake, Amelie feels the same way.”
“She will.”
I inhale deeply, wishing things were different. “So, it’s settled?”
“What about Mack?”
Shrugging, I shake my head. “I’ll be back before school starts. It’ll all work out.”
She stares at me, and I wonder what’s going on in her mind. I wish like hell she would open up to me, tell where all of this anger, resentment, and hatred is coming from. The sudden dislike for Josie is concerning. I’m tempted to ask Josie if something happened, but it’s not my place because I’m trying to respect Aubrey's friendship. I fear asking would somehow get back to my wife and I would pay dearly.
Aubrey tilts her head. Is she trying to see through me?
“Thanks.”
Thanks ? That’s all I get?
“Yep.” I don’t tell her she’s welcome, because she’s not. I hate that this is what our lives have come to. I push away from the door, needing space.
“Hey, Nick?” She calls after me. Reluctantly, I turn back toward the room. “Despite me asking for a divorce, I still love you. I just . . . I need to get out of here. I feel like I’m suffocating.”
I say nothing.