Chapter 7 Ryder
RYDER
Iwas painfully aware of the cat tail — of the plug in my ass, of the soft fur brushing against my ass and the back of my legs. The puppy tail had been different. He hadn’t made me wear it much, and when I had… That one had been much smaller and easier to ignore.
This wasn’t.
The cat ears on my head weren’t easy to ignore either, making me all too aware of the farce. I wasn’t a kitten any more than I was a puppy, and so far…
So far, it didn’t seem like I’d made the right decision.
I shuddered, shifting and feeling his dried cum on my back. It had only been a matter of time until this turned sexual, and I was probably lucky that was all that had happened. When he’d positioned himself so he was right at my mouth, I’d been sure my luck had run out.
As it was, I wasn’t sure it hadn’t.
He was getting impatient, and that was never good when he felt like he owned me somehow.
He hadn’t forced me to blow him or let him fuck me — not yet — but it felt like it was only a matter of time.
The clock was ticking. It had been since I’d first arrived, but now that he’d pressed the head of his cock against my lips, I knew it was speeding up.
It was only a matter of time before he took the next step.
He’d wrapped his arms around me, heedless of his own seed on my back as he’d pulled me close. He had to be feeling the tail, too, the way the fur was rubbing against his leg as well as my own. Did he like it?
Was I regretting what I’d done? Would he have waited longer to touch me if I hadn’t consented to this cat thing? I’d never know the answer to that, but I did know one thing: he wanted me, and if I was smart, I’d figure out a way to use it to my advantage.
That was always what they did in the movies, seducing their captors until they had the chance to escape. Then they took off, getting away and seeing their abductor put away for life — assuming said abductor wasn’t killed in the process.
Assuming said abductor wasn’t a fucking former popular musician with more money than he probably knew what to do with other than kidnapping someone.
I didn’t even know what would happen if I got free and accused him of being the person who had taken me.
I didn’t know if anyone would even believe me, let alone look into it, and even if they did…
What if he was influential enough to dodge the consequences of his actions?
Then he’d still be out there, and I’d have to worry for the rest of my fucking life that he’d come after me again.
“Are you awake?” he whispered after a time, smoothing his hand along me until he got to the leather harness, which he grabbed and held in his hand. His hand was warm against my skin, much as his cum had been, and I shivered.
I wanted to ignore him, to feign sleep, but I had a feeling he already knew the answer to my question. “Yeah,” I said after a moment of indecision.
For another long moment, he was quiet, and his breathing was so even that I wondered if he’d fallen asleep.
Finally, he spoke, his words soft as he murmured into my ear, “Are you angry at me?”
Of course I was angry. He’d jacked off onto my back and left his cum there to dry. Why wouldn’t I be angry?
Except… I wasn’t sure I was. There was definitely despair and fear and worry… but I wasn’t sure I was angry. I didn’t know how that was possible. I should’ve been furious. I sure as fuck had been raging when I’d first ended up here.
I guessed the time I’d spent there was really starting to wear me down, which was a chilling thought. The question was whether I should tell him the truth and let him justify what he’d done or lie and maybe get him to think twice before the next time he felt the need to use me as a sex toy.
“I’m upset, but I’m not mad,” I finally decided on. It was as close to the truth as I could get without worrying about pissing him off.
At least, I hoped it wouldn’t piss him off.
If he didn’t want the truth, he shouldn’t have asked.
“I understand,” he said after a pause.
Did he? Could he?
“But you’re mine,” he continued.
“I know,” I said, my voice sharper than I’d intended it to be.
His arms tightened around me, fingers grasping the leather of the harness harder. “Then remember it,” he warned.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” I told him. “You asked me a question. I was honest. Do you want me to lie?”
No. He wanted me to want this, to want him. But I didn’t, and I wouldn’t. Not then, not ever.
“No,” he replied, but there was an edge to his voice.
Fuck, when was he going to understand that surrendering to him didn’t mean I wanted him?
Was he so delusional that he couldn’t? I didn’t know.
I’d have said once that he was delusional enough to take me and expect there not to be any consequences, but the simple truth was that he’d done that and more.
Was anyone even looking for me anymore?
A pang went through me at the thought of potentially being left here, all leads exhausted and no one caring. What had he said when I’d first arrived? That no one would miss me?
This was the first time I wondered if he was right.
“Then what do you want from me?” I pressed.
“You know the answer to that,” he snapped. He let me go, sitting up on the bed with his back to me.
I knew the answer, and it wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t know how the hell to get him to see that! Even though I’d gotten erections from his touch, from the cat tail plug, that didn’t mean I was gay or that I was suddenly going to like men.
“I can’t force that,” I told him as gently as I could.
He turned around, the darkness evident in his expression once more. “I know,” he snarled. “I know,” he repeated a little more quietly.
You aren’t going to make me love you this way.
I wanted to say the words so badly, to remind him that he was never going to get what he wanted when he was treating me like this—
“What way?” he snapped.
Fuck. I’d said it aloud.
“By being like this!” I said. In for a penny…
“Like what?” He grabbed me by the harness, yanking me close.
I froze like prey in a predator’s sights, hardly daring to breathe.
“I said, like what!”
“This,” I said, squirming and trying to back away from him despite knowing it was a bad idea. “You get so mad at me and you get this look—”
“It isn’t supposed to be like this!” he said, his lips almost against mine. He kissed me, hard and rough, his fingers twisting in the leather of the harness. “You aren’t what I wanted.”
Against all odds, hurt flickered through me.
I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like I wanted to be what he wanted, after all.
But the fact that I wasn’t… It bothered me.
“You wanted me to fall at your feet and roll over,” I said, heat in my voice that hadn’t been there since I’d first arrived. “I’m not that kind of person, Master.”
His eyes blazed as I spat the honorific, and he shoved me back. I fell flat on my back on the bed, and he climbed atop me.
My breath caught as I stared up at him, and I swallowed hard. I’d gone too far.
“You’ll be that kind of person if I tell you you are,” he breathed, his hands sliding down my sides, fingers digging so hard into my skin that I was going to end up with bruises.
I shrank back, trying to wriggle free, but he was relentless. He wasn’t going anywhere, and I didn’t know what he was going to do. He looked so deadly in that moment, scarred face twisted with his anger, and it was exactly why I kept pulling away from him.
I might not have been angry at him, but I was terrified of him.
“I don’t want you to be scared of me,” he said.
“Could’ve fooled me,” I snapped at him, but I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
His fingers brushed my face, wiping them away before they could fall, and he sighed. “I don’t know how you do this to me,” he told me. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing to you,” I said, trying hard to blink back the tears. “I’m not trying to do anything to you.”
“But you are,” he said softly, leaning in to kiss the corner of my eye, tongue flicking out to taste the salt of my tears.
It made me shudder.
“I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before, attitude and all.
” His features twisted again, in his own special brand of anger that always seemed to be simmering beneath the surface and just waiting to break free.
“I know what I wanted from you, and here I am, letting you be something else entirely.” He touched the cat ears, resettling the headband on my head. “Why?”
“Because you want me here willingly,” I whispered, hardly daring to breathe.
“I do,” he said. “Kiss me. Like you mean it. Like you’d kiss your girlfriend.”
I blanched. “I can’t,” I said, shaking my head.
He wiped at my tears again, something dangerously soft in his features. “You can.”
I couldn’t. I couldn’t play this game with him. I couldn’t pretend I wanted him. It would make things worse, would fuel his obsession with me.
“What if I say no?” I whispered.
He turned those dark eyes on me, staring straight into my own. “That’s not an option, Toby.”
I’m not Toby!
I wanted to scream the words, but I was careful to keep my mouth shut that time. I wasn’t going to risk setting him off again, especially when it had led to… this.
I shuddered beneath him, knowing he was right. Saying no wasn’t an option, not when the consequences would be severe. I could tell he wasn’t playing around, and I didn’t even want to know what would happen if I tried to deny him.
So I swallowed hard, looking up at him and pleading with my gaze for him to relent.
His eyes remained locked on mine, relentless.
I choked back a sob.
There wouldn’t be any going back from this. Once I did this, it would change the entire dynamic. It would make me an even more willing participant in my own defilement.
Of course, that was what he wanted. He wanted me to be culpable in everything that happened. He wouldn’t stop until I’d given everything…
Then he’d take more and more, even when there was nothing left of me.
“Kiss me,” he said again.
Tears blurring my vision, I gazed at him while he settled down onto me with one hand on either side of my body. I didn’t want to do this. So desperately, I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to give him this…!
“Toby,” he said, edge of warning in his voice.
“Please don’t rush me,” I whispered, and my own words sounded lost, pathetic, barely more than a whimper.
Whatever he saw in my eyes made him pause, and he nodded slightly to me.
I took a deep breath, trying to work myself up to it.
I didn’t know if I could really do it. This was a guy, one bigger than me, with stubble instead of smoothness.
I couldn’t pretend he was her. I couldn’t even come close.
And if I kissed him in a way he thought I meant, he was going to get confused — more confused.
I wished he could see that this was futile, that this wasn’t going to happen no matter how much he wanted it. But he wouldn’t give up until I surrendered yet again.
Something inside of me broke as I leaned up. His hand moved to the back of my head, cupping it, but he let me set the speed.
I drew in another breath then leaned in, my lips finding his in a kiss.
This was nothing like what it was when I was kissing my girlfriend, and I was all too aware of it. But I kissed him like I meant it — right up until the point he moaned and I could feel his erection against my thigh.
He didn’t let me draw back immediately, though, fisting his hand in my hair and holding me in place. His tongue darted out, tasting me, then pressed insistently at my mouth until I parted my lips.
He explored my mouth, taking the reins of the kiss, and I let it happen.
So help me, I kissed him back.