Chapter 8 Griffin
GRIFFIN
He kissed me like he meant it.
It was what I’d wanted, but I hadn’t thought he’d really do it.
I’d been surprised when his lips had first met mine, and when they parted for me, I couldn’t help but groan against his mouth.
I could tell he wanted to pull away, but he yielded anyway, which gave me the slightest bit of hope. Maybe he could learn to want it.
Maybe he could learn to want me, too.
I had to believe it was possible — and more, that it would happen.
I ran my hand along his cheek, deepening the kiss, and he made a little noise.
I didn’t want to get my hopes up and think it was a moan, but I knew I was a damn good kisser. Surely some things transcended gender, didn’t they?
Reluctantly, I drew back, stroking his cheek, and I watched him. His eyes were closed, and his expression was a little pained. It sent a pang through me in turn. I didn’t want him to feel that way. I wanted him to enjoy what I had to offer, and that was so much.
For now, though, there were other lessons I could teach him.
I’d done research on how to turn him into my kitten, and the main thing working to my advantage was that he claimed to want it.
I’d have to break him down to turn him into my pup, but if he cooperated, I could have a pet like I wanted — maybe even the pet I wanted by day and something more at night.
I could have everything I wanted if he only surrendered to me in full.
I gazed down at him. His eyes opened as I adjusted the cat ears on the top of his head and smoothed back waves of his hair.
“You’re beautiful,” I told him, my voice reverent.
He offered a weak smile, and I appreciated the effort. He may not have wanted to be there — in my bed, beneath me, his lips kissed until they were swollen — but he was at least trying.
That had to be a start.
I slid off of him and got to my feet, offering a hand out to him. “Time to play, kitty cat,” I told him.
Apprehension flickered through his gaze, but he took my hand.
He got off the bed, getting onto all fours without needing to be told. Progress. The tail was sexy between his ass cheeks, and those ears really made the image that much better.
“But first, come here,” I told him, beckoning. I grabbed the box with the supplies I’d ordered and pulled out a new pink collar with a tiny little bell on it. Ripping the plastic with my teeth, I pulled it out and showed it to him. “This will look perfect on you.”
I found the key to the collar he wore around his neck and unlocked it, watching as he settled back onto his legs to rub at his bare throat.
He wouldn’t have the relief for long, but I indulged him, letting him have his moment.
This would be the last for a long time. He had to know that being mine consisted of wearing a collar.
We’d come a long way, enough to where I didn’t think I needed the little padlock for the collar. I secured the collar around his throat but didn’t lock it into place, and he looked warily up at me.
“You aren’t going to take it off,” I said, more confidence in my voice than I actually felt. “Are you?”
He wordlessly shook his head.
Warmth suffused me, leaving me tingling from head to toe. “You’re learning so well,” I said. “Such a good kitty cat, aren’t you?”
He looked up at me, briefly wetting his lips with his tongue, and he let out a tentative meow.
It was almost as hot as the bark — almost, but not quite. Maybe both of us would learn to find something new attractive. This wasn’t what either of us had wanted, but we were meeting halfway. If I could learn to want him as my kitten, he could learn to want me as his master.
Couldn’t he?
It was worth a try.
It was an odd feeling. I wasn’t used to compromising. Things were so often black and white, one way or another — yes or no.
But my life wasn’t black and white anymore. It was suspended somewhere between the two in a shade of gray that kept fluctuating from one end to the other before I could get a handle on it.
I’d had someone kidnapped and brought to me, someone who hadn’t wanted to be there, and I’d done things I never would’ve dreamed of a year ago.
I’d done those things, and I couldn’t stop.
I didn’t want to stop.
He moved and the little bell jingled, bringing a smile to my lips. He was watching me, waiting, and I left him there as I turned. I looked through the box, shuffling through the items I’d bought and the castoff wrappings of what I’d already introduced to him.
I hummed softly, considering.
I didn’t want to show my entire hand yet, and there was no need to rush. He was still getting used to this, and I was still trying to figure out how I felt about the whole thing. I didn’t want to overwhelm either of us.
That wasn’t entirely true. There was part of me that wanted to lay it all out, to pull out all the stops and just go for it. But I wasn’t reckless that way. I was too meticulous. I had to be patient. That was the only way I’d gotten this far, and I had to continue it.
I pulled out one of the cat toys, a stick with a string and a feather dangling from the end, and gave it a thoughtful shake.
His eyes went to it, and I could see the wariness in his expression. Would he actually take the next step toward being my pet, or would he disappoint me by ignoring the toy?
With a flick of my wrist, I dangled it in front of him.
He sat back on his heels, tentatively batting at the feather.
“Good,” I said, pleased. “Good kitten. Very good.”
He looked at me then batted at the feather again, his hand curled slightly into more of a paw as he tried to grab at it.
I lifted the stick, the string sliding from between his fingers as I dangled it above his head.
He shot me an inscrutable look before he went back to playing with the feather, carefully dragging it down.
When he let go of it, it sprang up, and I lowered it just enough for the feather to brush the tip of his nose when it came down.
He gave me another look but tilted his head up, grabbing at it with his mouth.
He missed, but it still brought a smile to my lips. He really was trying, even though his cheeks were flushed red and I could see the embarrassment flooding over him.
Good.
I wanted him to be embarrassed, but I wanted him to do it anyway.
Again I dangled the string in front of him; again, he pawed at it, even trying to bring it to his mouth when he got hold of it.
I chuckled and let him grab it, watching his face as he chewed on it.
One day I’d have to put something else at the end of it — maybe a snack for him, like gummy bears or something else as a treat.
We played for half an hour, until I could see him getting tired of the game. His efforts became half-hearted at best, and he’d gotten slow.
I finally relented and drew the stick back, letting the string slip between his fingertips and wrapping it back around. “Good,” I said again. “You were so good for me.”
Something in his shoulders eased, and he relaxed a little. “I did okay?” he asked, a certain fragility to his words.
I tossed the toy back into the box and crouched down, cupping his face in my hands. “You did better than okay,” I reassured him. I leaned in and kissed his forehead, only barely stopping myself from kissing his lips again.
Then I thought… Why was I stopping myself?
He belonged to me, after all.
I kissed his lips then, and at first, he didn’t kiss me back.
When my hand moved to cup the back of his head instead, tangling in his hair, he seemed to understand what I wanted.
I didn’t have to force him this time. He took the hint and kissed me back, tentative but yielding to me all the same. I let out a pleased moan, releasing him reluctantly. He was behaving. I didn’t want to push him too hard, not when he was obviously trying…
That wasn’t entirely true, though. I did want to push him, and I wanted to push him hard. But I couldn’t. I had to go slow no matter what I wanted to do.
Because if I really let myself go, I’d be buried inside of him instead of that plug in moments.
I stood up after a light scratch behind his ears, gazing down at my property. He never stopped being beautiful, no matter how many times I looked at him. It was always like something new, like I was getting a glimpse of him for the first time.
Except this was better, because he wasn’t some feral creature spitting out curses and vitriol. This time, he was submitting, getting used to the idea that he was mine no matter what.
Soon. I just had to wait a little longer. He was warming up to me, no matter how slowly it was happening, and I had to have faith that he’d continue to do so.
“Let’s get food,” I told him, forcing my breathing under control again. Having him there was hell on my self control, and the more he submitted, the harder it got — fuck, the harder I got.
I didn’t have anything special planned, but I didn’t need anything special.
I’d made him drink his milk out of his doggy bowl before.
I’d use the same bowls to make it easier on him; a big cat needed a big bowl, after all.
It would be different with the cat thing in my mind, though, seeing him paw at the feather on the string like he really was playing with me.
I had to give him actual food, and I didn’t want to just feed him cereal… But tuna fish sounded like something that would give him sustenance and satisfy the urge within me to see him humiliated.
Because I knew that no matter how much he submitted, there was still a large part of him that was balking at everything I did.
The fact that he did it anyway was part of why it was so intoxicating to me.
I gestured to him, and he followed me out of the bedroom and to the kitchen. “You can still use the doggy bed,” I told him. “Get comfortable while I cook.”
And maybe I’d give him some actual food to go along with his tuna and milk — maybe.