Chapter 10 Griffin
GRIFFIN
He was coming around.
Little by little, bit by bit, he was becoming my Toby.
He might not have realized it or understood it, but I could see it each and every day as he gave in just a little more.
The steps had been huge at first, requiring him to give up so much of himself, but now they were tiny — and I was letting him take them slow.
Mostly.
I couldn’t wait forever for him to decide he wanted me, especially when I wasn’t sure he ever would — not as long as he clung to his convictions about his sexuality and insisted he couldn’t like a man that way.
I couldn’t bring myself to believe that either. If it was true, it meant everything I’d worked for would be for nothing, and I couldn’t bear that.
Instead, I stroked his hair and kissed away his tears and pulled him into my arms to soothe him.
I ran my hands along his arms instead of touching between his thighs when I wanted affection.
I touched bare skin, and I was ever aware of it — ever aware of the limp cock between his legs, too, and wishing I could see it harden for me and me alone.
Maybe if he thought about his girlfriend…
The thought filled me with terrible jealousy, and I clenched my teeth together at the mere thought of it. I didn’t want to think about him kissing someone else, fucking someone else…
Loving someone else.
I inhaled deeply, forcing myself to calm down, then I drew back. “Such a good kitten,” I whispered again.
I rose before he could respond, not wanting to see the look in his eyes. He still gave me those adorable puppy eyes, pleading with me to do things I would never, ever do — like free him, and that just wasn’t going to happen. He was mine, and that was that. Now, forever, always.
Now that he’d begun cooperating, it was even harder to think of losing him. He might not have wanted to be there, but I could almost pretend he did.
Almost.
I hadn’t touched him since the last time, when I’d jerked off onto his back and left him covered in my cum, but I thought about it often.
I didn’t know why I’d started taking care of my needs in the shower when I had someone who would’ve done it for me, but I didn’t want him to come to it so unwillingly.
I wanted him to submit, not out of fear, but out of desire.
But if desire wasn’t possible, I would settle for what I could get.
I finally stood up, but I gazed down at him, slowly letting my breath out. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to have him.
The idea that he’d been someone else had something prickling beneath my skin, and I had to claim him. I had to remind him that he was mine. I had to remind myself that he wasn’t going anywhere.
I unfastened the button of my pants, and his head jerked up, eyes a little wider than usual. He watched, his attention unwavering, as I slowly unzipped them.
“Shh,” I whispered. “It’s okay, kitten.”
It wasn’t okay. Jealousy still threatened to overwhelm me, and I wanted to quash it before it became unbearable.
I knew it was from a different part of his life — a part of Ryder’s life, even, and not Toby’s — but he wasn’t Toby yet, not in truth. He was getting there, but part of Toby’s life would be to tend to my needs.
It was time to really claim that.
I pulled down my pants and boxers, letting him see my limp cock. I wanted him, and I’d take his mouth, but first…
“Get me hard,” I ordered him, running my fingers through his hair behind the cat ears.
He let out a little whine.
I curled my fingers in his hair, my grip tightening in warning. He wasn’t going to get out of this, not that easily, not when I wanted it so badly.
Not when I needed it so badly.
Instead of reaching up with his hand, he leaned forward, and I froze as his lips brushed my cock.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck.
He took the head of my cock into his mouth. I could feel him trembling, but the tip of his tongue ran clumsily along it.
I forced my fingers to relax in his hair, even though I wanted to grip him and urge him closer. He was already doing this much on his own. I didn’t want to force more, not when he was already doing this — giving his first blowjob.
It wouldn’t be his last, not by far.
It didn’t take long for me to go from flaccid to fully erect, and he squirmed as it became harder to fit in his mouth. He didn’t back off, though, much to my surprise. He kept trying, doggedly determined to take me in. I closed my eyes, but they flew open when his teeth scraped against me.
“Careful,” I snapped at him, pulling him back slightly.
“I’m sorry,” he said, flinching.
I softened, realizing he hadn’t meant for it to happen. I’d thought it was intentional at first, but he wasn’t doing anything to upset me — even though I could see how miserable he was. It would get better, though. He’d practice, he’d do this more, and he’d get used to it.
I’d enjoy every second of it, especially once the reluctance turned into his usual yielding — just as it always did when he was confronted with something new, when he balked at first but soon gave in.
Gave in, then excelled.
“Just be more careful, kitten,” I told him, smoothing my hand through his hair. “Okay?”
He nodded, but he still looked wary. He leaned in again, his tongue caressing the head of my cock. I could only imagine what it felt like for him to taste another man for the first time, and I wondered what was going through his mind.
Then again, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know. It would probably ruin the experience for me. I didn’t want to think about him dreading this, hating this. I wanted to believe he was realizing this wasn’t so bad, even if he didn’t like it yet.
I leaned down and took his hand, bringing it up to the base of my cock.
He froze at first then slowly gripped me, not even trying to speak as he worked the head of my cock with his mouth and the base with his hand. He knew enough about blowjobs to give a passable one because he’d probably received his fair share.
The thought wasn’t a pleasant one, and I had to fight not to grab him by the hair and pull him down onto my cock until I was buried in his throat.
But no. I didn’t want this to be an unpleasant memory.
I knew he didn’t really want it, not yet, but I could almost forget that — as long as I didn’t think about him with anyone else.
He was mine.
He hadn’t always been mine, but he was now.
I slowly thrust into his mouth, and he looked up at me.
“Just like that,” I reassured him. I could stand there forever watching him and feeling those lips and that tongue working magic on me.
It had been so long. It had been too long.
He was gorgeous there, on his knees before me with those cat ears on the top of his head and the cat tail plug seated firmly in his ass. It coiled around his ass and leg, giving me the perfect view from above.
His hand was warm, but not as hot as the mouth taking me in a little bit at a time. My cockhead started to breach his throat, and he gagged, jerking back.
“Shh,” I told him as he coughed. “Shh.”
He cast a glance at me, the look on his face unreadable, but he said nothing. His eyes watered a little, and it was an enticing look on him.
My eyes flicked to his ass, stuffed full with the tail plug, and I wanted so badly to be sinking into that hole. His mouth was good, but that would be even better.
But I couldn’t rush everything. I had to take my time, even if feeling his mouth on me made it hard to think about slowing down.
He hadn’t said anything since this had started, which was probably for the best. As much as I still wanted to know what he was thinking, I was too afraid of what thoughts were actually running through his mind. As long as he was giving his all, that was what mattered.
His mouth looked gorgeous around my cock, and I had the most perfect moment as he took me back into his mouth and swished his tongue around the head.
I groaned, getting closer to coming. I didn’t want to just yet.
I wanted to savor this as long as possible because I didn’t know how long it would be before I got up the nerve to do this again — but one thing was for sure.
I would do this again.
“You’re doing fantastic,” I said as I pushed forward, brushing the back of his throat again.
He gagged, eyes filling up with tears as he pulled back again.
It was beautiful, so very fucking beautiful, and I wanted to just stand there and push into his throat to watch him squirm and gag around me. I wanted to feel it, to have it work around my cock and pull me in deeper, but more than that, I wanted to see him as he took it and more.
“So beautiful,” I mumbled, feeling myself getting closer and closer to the edge. I wanted to wait even longer, but I was on the precipice, about to be shoved over by that inexperienced tongue. “Keep going,” I urged, as though he would do anything else.
He wouldn’t, not as long as he was there in front of me. He’d worship my cock, taking it in little by little until he’d swallowed me whole.
I groaned, flexing my hips, and this time when he gagged, I didn’t let him pull back. I held his head in place as I came, flooding his mouth, and his throat worked around me as he struggled to swallow fast enough.
A little trickled down out of his mouth, painting my seed down along his chin, and I finally drew back and let him take a breath as soon as I’d been milked dry in his near desperation to get me off as quickly as possible.
I sagged back, having to brace myself against the wall, and I gazed down at him as a smile tugged at my lips.
“You did so well, kitten,” I praised him. “You’ve made me so happy.”
He offered me a wan smile, wiping his face with the back of his hand.
I frowned, not liking the idea of him wasting what I’d offered to him, and he must’ve seen the look on my face. He licked the back of his hand clean while I watched intently, wishing I could get hard again to watch that tongue work on me all over again.
“Such a good kitten,” I said, the post-orgasmic haze descending upon me. I wanted to curl up with him in the bed and pull him close, to feel his body against mine as I relaxed. “Come on,” I told him, pulling my boxers and pants back up. “Let’s go get comfortable.”