Chapter 43
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
POLLY
“ I don't fit in your world."
"Neither do I," he said, his expression tender yet resolute. "So let's make our own. We've done it before.”
Tracey Garvis-Graves, On the Island
A fter the magic show was cleaned up, the after-dinner dishes were done, and the kids were in bed, Jace grabbed my hand and tilted his head toward the patio.
“Come sit with me.”
So that’s what I did. With the night sky providing our backdrop, Jace and I sat at the outside patio table side by side, holding hands, listening to the nighttime soundtrack of katydids and crickets, and of course, an occasional giant ZAP from our bug zappers.
“You’re quiet tonight,” Jace whispered.
I whipped my head toward him. I’d been lost in thought. Wondering how many nights I’d get with Jace like this. Even though I was the one to put the qualifier on us, wanting to go slow and keep things private, I still felt this insecurity. This fear of getting hurt.
“Am I?”
I knew I was. I was trying to think back to Leah’s words today and bolster my confidence, but it wasn’t working.
Jace picked up one of my hands and brought the back of it to his mouth for a soft kiss.
“Everything alright, darlin’?”
I had to hold back a shiver. His dimpled grin, his husky drawl, his kindness and his patience . . . Jesus take the wheel, the keys, and the whole damn car, I was tempted to pinch myself because how on earth could a man like this be real?
I pulled my hand to my lap, huffing an exasperated breath. “I’m having a hard time believing you’re real. How’d you get to be this romantic?”
Jace brought his beer to his lips, taking a pull, his throat working as he swallowed. “It’s a skill.”
I pointed to him. “That! Stop doing that! Your sexy unicorn ways are breaking my brain, and I have things to say!”
“Did you just call me a sexy unicorn?” Jace’s face crinkled adorably in confusion.
I focused on the ground, not wanting to be distracted. Leah was right. I had to fight for what I wanted.
And I wanted Jace.
“At the magic show tonight, I saw a side to Max I hadn’t seen for a long time. When he was young, he was curious and silly, loving to giggle. And then after the divorce, I was trying so hard to keep everything together, that I failed at being his mom. You helped me see that. You helped bring that silly part of Max back.”
Taking a deep breath, I turned my watery gaze on Jace.
“And Ryla is no longer a feral badger that I fear bringing into public. I’m still saving up bail money, don’t get me wrong,” I added as Jace laughed. “My point is, thank you. For everything.”
A frown took over Jace’s easygoing expression. “Why does this sound like you’re saying goodbye?”
“You’ve done so much for us, for me.” I looked down in my lap, a ball of nerves in my chest making it tight. “It wouldn’t be fair to make you stay here, if you didn’t want to. To hold you back. You have a gift, Jace. And a dream. It wouldn’t be right to keep you from that.”
Jace took a long pull from his beer, then set it on the table. Picking up his chair, he turned it toward me fully, then reached out and grabbed my chair, turning it so I was facing him as well. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, the intensity in his hazel eyes holding mine.
“Who said I don’t want to stay here? I thought I’d be here at least through August. Do you not want me here anymore?”
I shook my head vehemently, my nerves taking over. “No! That’s not what I want. If it was up to me and you wanted to stay forever, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. But you haven’t tried to touch me in days, and the kids are a lot. Between your future in teaching and my father, I don’t see how this, you and I, could work.”
Jace’s jaw tensed. “Polly, it took every shred of willpower I had not to crawl into bed with you last night. But you looked like you were about to fall over from exhaustion, and I knew if I was there, there’d be no sleep for either of us.”
“Oh,” I said on a whispered exhale.
“I wasn’t going to tell you this yet, but I applied to an online university this week. I also talked to the professor that Sienna knows on Tuesday, and I’m going to apply to their program as well. If I’m accepted, I thought we could look at the time requirements together, working out my class schedule with what works best for me to stay here and watch the kids this fall and then, well,” Jace smirked, “for however long I can get with y’all after that.”
I hesitated. It was like someone was offering me a cookie, but I felt like the moment I reached for it, a giant hand would swoop in and snatch it away.
“Is that what you want?” I hedged.
“Have I ever given you the impression that I do anything I don’t want to do?”
“No,” I answered quickly, searching his face, my stupid hopeful heart beating wildly in my chest.
“You’re right. I don’t. Once I’m in, I’m all in.”
My pulse pounded in my ears. I wasn’t yet able to trust that I could really have what he was offering me, free and clear.
“What about my father? If we tell people about us, he could find out and then he’ll kick us out of here. Max and Ryla are just getting settled. I don’t want to uproot them again.”
Jace nodded his head thoughtfully. “There are a few important people in my life that I trust not to say anything. For everyone else, we could keep up the appearance that I’m your nanny and that we’re just friends until you have another place to go.”
“Could that work? We’d have to pretend for I don’t know how long.”
Jace’s eyes were dancing in the moonlight as he leaned toward me. “I don’t know if you’re aware, but you have the lead from the Green Valley High School’s illustrious Romeo and Juliet production sitting across from you.” He flashed his dimples. “And I’m a fabulous actor.”
I ran his plan over in my head, looking for any weaknesses. Yes, my father could find out. And if he did, yes, he could kick us out of the house.
But sitting here with Jace in the starlight, this was the future I wanted. This was the future I wanted to fight for.
And that was worth all the risk.
“How in the hell are you single?” I blurted out. “You could have a dozen girlfriends or, like, your own personal Jace harem.”
Jace didn’t laugh or roll his eyes, he merely tilted his head. “I thought I already had one.”
“Am I your girlfriend?”
“I guess if you’re askin’,” he teased.
“But I’m like . . . old.” I made a face.
“Alright, this needs some discussin’. I could care less about our age difference. You’re hot as hell, love with your whole heart, and as a bonus come with two great kids. If anything, I should be the one worrying about what you see in me. I’m a homeless, twenty-four-year-old kid without a college degree. I promise if you give us a chance, Polly, I’ll work hard to be the kind of man you deserve.”
Unable to stand it anymore, I grasped Jace’s face, pouring everything I felt into the kiss. His lips instantly opened, his tongue finding mine as we savored each other, showing our love with our actions, until we finally broke apart.
I looked down. How I ended up in Jace’s lap, I have no idea.
I traced the outline of his cheekbones with my thumbs, trying to memorize this moment, still feeling like somehow, something would take him away from me, but willing to fight for this. For us.
“I better not catch you saying anything bad about my boyfriend again. I know how to kill someone and make it look like an accident.”
Jace’s hands trailed up my arms until they encircled my wrists. “Darlin’, you say the sweetest things.”
“Y’all must be rubbin’ off on me,” I teased in my best drawl.
Jace’s expression was practically predatory. “I’m here for all rubbin’ activities.”