Chapter 21 #3
I opened my mouth to let her in, and she accepted the invitation.
I took that as my sign that she was enjoying it, at least to some degree, so I grabbed her waist, pulled her closer to me, and deepened the kiss.
I was starved for her, and I was giving that kiss everything I had.
It was the only one I’d ever get, so I had to make it count.
Everything and everyone faded away as she kissed me back.
We were the only two people left on the planet.
Daisy’s hands left their resting place on my face and began exploring my body. I didn’t question it as her hands slid down my sides and stopped at my lower back. I kissed her harder, moving my hand to hold the side of her face. I caressed her cheek and reveled in the little smile I felt her make.
I had waited years for this moment, and even though I knew my feelings would never be returned, and even though I knew this kiss was just for tradition and didn’t mean anything to her, it meant everything to me. It was absolutely perfect.
I wanted to always do this. To always have my hands on her, her lips on mine. I wanted to always make her smile, and that thought was what caused me to break the kiss. Because I knew I couldn’t have any of that.
Eventually, all my senses came rushing back, and the sounds of the party broke me from my Daisy-filled haze.
I pulled back and looked into her eyes, which were dark and heated.
We were both breathing heavily. She was blushing, and I could feel the heat starting to creep up my neck. Oh shit! What have I done?
Daisy still hadn’t said anything, but neither had I.
I didn’t know what to say. I had just kissed my best friend and was still dizzy from it.
And not just a fun little peck to keep up the holiday spirit.
I had my tongue in her mouth and my arms wrapped around her.
I was making out with her in front of dozens of people. Best friends didn’t do that!
With that thought, I looked around to see everyone staring at us, Drea with a smirk on her face.
Half this party knew how I felt about Daisy.
I should’ve been mad at Drea, but in reality, I knew it wasn’t her fault.
It wasn’t like she forced us under the mistletoe.
Even if she had, she knew I wouldn’t have kissed Daisy on my own.
My heart started racing even more, and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I turned around and ran outside, not stopping to talk to anyone. I needed some fresh air.
As soon as I got outside, I doubled over the balcony ledge, trying to catch my breath.
None of that was real. Nothing in the last five minutes had actually happened. I didn’t kiss Daisy and ruin our friendship. I didn’t have an entire room of witnesses. And I certainly didn’t run out of there like the room was on fire. My stomach flipped.
I felt sick. I felt like I had just ruined everything, because there was no way I could play that kiss off. No way I could say it was the heat of the moment. I could say it was the alcohol, but she knew me better than that. I hadn’t even had a full cup to drink.
If I faced her, if she made me talk about it, I’d have to admit how I felt about her.
I poured all my feelings for her into that kiss.
Every smile she gave. Every comforting touch.
Every heartfelt compliment she’d ever given me.
It was all returned when our lips met. Finally tasting those lips I’d seen her lick so many times.
There was no way she didn’t know how I felt now.
Even if she did kiss me back, it was probably the heat of the moment. Or a sympathy kiss. Oh God!
“Come on, Kaia. Breathe! It’s done, and you can’t take it back.”
As much as I wish I could’ve, I didn’t want to at the same time.
That was the best kiss of my entire life, and even though it would never happen again, I would do it all over again if I had the chance.
Maybe—No! Don’t even think about it! So what if she kissed you first?
It’s what you’re supposed to do! It didn’t mean anything!
I had to pull it together before Daisy came looking for me.
I needed to gather myself and figure out what I would say.
Maybe she didn’t think anything of it. I could tell her I started to have an anxiety attack.
All the people became too much, and I needed air.
It was true, except it wasn’t the whole party that was too much.
It was her. It was the damn kiss that took my breath away, literally.
After what felt like an eternity, I finally started to breathe normally again—until I heard the glass door open and close. Expecting to see Daisy, I turned around on shaky legs, but sagged in relief when it was only Fallon.
“Fallon. Oh, thank God, it’s only you.”
“Hey, Kai. I saw you run out, so I wanted to check on you. How’re you doing?” She sounded concerned, but her faint smile gave her away.
I scowled at her. I knew she was just trying to be a good friend, but I had reached my social limit for the night.
“How am I doing? Well, let’s see. I didn’t want to come to this party to begin with, but Daisy insisted it would be good for us.
I start to actually enjoy myself and relax.
Then my best friend kisses me and completely turns my world upside down.
Overall, I’m fantastic!” I said sarcastically.
“How do you think I’m doing, Fallon? I can’t breathe, and I can’t go back in there.
I can’t face her! What is wrong with me? She probably thinks I’m insane!”
She came up next to me and gave me a hug. “No, she doesn’t, okay? She’s actually really concerned. She wanted to come find you, but I had Drea tell her I wanted to be the one to check on you. I didn’t think you’d be ready to face her yet. She’s worried you’re sick or something.”
I groaned. “I am sick! The way I kissed her was anything but platonic, and I feel horrible about it! I feel like such a creep, like I took advantage of her or something.”
“Oh, stop. I saw that kiss, Kaia. Trust me, no one was being taken advantage of underneath that mistletoe. She’s just worried. You should go find her and talk to her. I’m sure the whole thing has blown over by now.”
“I hate when she’s worried about me, but I don’t think I can see her right now. I can see Drea and Kenzie laughing at me now.”
“You know they would never do that. Yeah, they joke around, but it’s because they love you and just want you to be happy.
We all do! When she found out about Drea and Blair at the wedding, Kenzie gave them so much shit but promised to keep their secret because she didn’t want to hurt them.
And I know it won’t make you feel better, but that kiss was hot as hell.
I felt like a voyeur watching you two. I know how long you’ve waited for it.
Perhaps not in front of all your friends, but it’s done now.
Maybe she feels the same way? Or maybe she doesn’t think anything of it. You won’t know until you talk to her.”
I wiped my tears away and shook my head.
“I wasn’t trying to be hot, Fallon. I don’t know what I was trying to do.
She kissed me first, but… then I lost control and ruined everything.
I have to get out of here. I’m going to call a taxi.
Can you tell Daisy the car keys are in my coat? Make sure she gets home safe, please.”
“Kaia—”
I shook my head. I couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t face anyone, especially Daisy. My heart started racing again, and I felt another panic attack coming on. Fallon seemed to notice and nodded. “Of course, Kaia. Whatever you need. I’ll make sure she gets home okay.”