Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
DAISY
Fallon had been gone for almost thirty minutes, and I was starting to panic.
Not only was I surrounded by a room full of people I didn’t really know, and who didn’t know sign language that well, Kaia was missing and my mind went to the worst possible conclusions.
She fell off the balcony. She got hit by a car. She—
A hand gently grabbed my arm, cutting off my internal spiraling. I jumped, only slightly, whirling around to see Fallon, without Kaia.
Blair and Drea were standing next to her, and I feared the worst. I looked between them, panic evident on my face. Drea was the only one out of the group whom I could really communicate with, so my glance landed on hers with a pleading expression.
“Kaia is okay,” she started. I sagged slightly.
“Where is she?” I asked. If she was okay, why wasn’t she there with me?
“She… left. She left the car for you, and told all of us to make sure you got home okay.”
I frowned. She left me? Why would she do that? “What? Why?”
Drea looked to Fallon, who whispered something in Drea’s ear. “You should talk to Kaia. Do you need one of us to drive you?” Drea placed a warm hand on my wrist.
“No. I’m fine on my own.” My movements were sharp and anything but fine. Kaia had some real explaining to do.
I turned to leave but stopped when a hand landed on my arm.
I whipped around to see Blair looking at me with soft eyes.
I frowned, confused. I didn’t know her that well, but we talked occasionally.
Kaia spent a lot of time with her when they were fighting with Drea, so I knew they had become close.
She knew basic signs and attended every class.
“Please don’t be mad at her. She’s just scared.”
“Of what? What is going on?” I asked. I was tired of not knowing what everyone else seemed to know.
But she just shook her head. “The party. It… was too much. Look, it’s not my place, okay? Just go home and talk to her. But give her some grace and hear her out. She really cares about you and your friendship.”
If she cared about me, then why did she leave me all alone? I took a deep breath and nodded. I had to trust Blair, and I tried not to seethe as I left the party.
I texted Kaia twice before I even made it to the car, but got no answers. At every light I checked my phone, but it was still empty. I decided to send one last text:
Me: THERE BETTER BE A REALLY GOOD REASON FOR YOU TO DITCH ME AT THAT PARTY, KAIA CELESTE! I MEAN IT!
At first, I was worried, and in the back of my mind, I still was. But that worry was quickly turning into anger. We always talked about our issues. We didn’t run away from them.
When I finally made it home, my anger turned back into concern when I saw the look on her face. She looked defeated. Red circles around her eyes. Puffy red nose like she had been crying.
I brought up my hands to ask what was wrong, to yell at her and ask why she just left me alone, but she ran out of the room before I could get the chance. I wanted to chase after her, but I could tell something was really bothering her, so I decided to give her some space.
I sat on the couch with Duke, rubbing his head, wishing I could talk to him, ask him what was going on. I wanted to fix whatever was wrong. We’d been having such a good time, and then something shifted, but what?
After almost an hour of nothing, I got off the couch and headed to her room.
I had given her enough time. I needed answers.
I knocked on her door, and after a few seconds of no answer, I slowly opened it and peeked my head in, hoping she wasn’t changing.
The last thing this moment needed was for me to see her naked again.
When she came into view, my chest tightened and I ran to sit next to her. She was crying, and I wondered if she was thinking of her dad. It was her first Christmas without him. I should’ve known better than to suggest going to that party.
I placed my hand on her leg, wanting to let her know I was there for her, but she jumped up and took a few steps back like I’d shocked her. I furrowed my brows, confused.
“I’m fine,” she said before I could ask. I knew she wasn’t. We knew each other better than anyone else knew us. Something was bothering her, and I didn’t think it was only about her dad. If it was, she wouldn’t have been avoiding me so much.
“Kai—” I started, but she cut me off.
“Stop!” I flinched. Her movements were quick and angry, like when I came home from my date, but this time, she acted mad at me. For what? I wasn’t sure.
“Just leave me alone, Daisy!” She turned around and stormed out of the room. Now I was mad. We talked about our issues. Always.
I huffed and marched after her. I didn’t know what was going on, but we were going to get to the bottom of it.
When I found her in the living room, she was sitting on the couch, still crying. As mad as I wanted to be, the sight caused me to soften. I hated not knowing what was going on and how to fix it, but even more, I hated seeing her upset.
I stopped directly in front of her and just stared, waiting for an answer. “I’m sorry,” she signed.
I sat down next to her and waited until she looked at me before I began signing. “Kaia, you know you can tell me anything. What’s wrong? What happened?”
A long moment passed before she responded with the last thing I thought she’d say. “I’m sorry, Daisy. About the mistletoe. The kiss. It shouldn’t have happened like that.”
All of this was over the kiss? Why? Maybe she didn’t like it? The way she’d kissed me told a different story, but maybe now she regretted it?
I know I didn’t. I should. It was supposed to be a quick and simple kiss, just for fun. Just to get Drea off our backs about it. But when she kissed me back, it wasn’t so fun anymore. And it ended up being anything but quick and simple.
That kiss had transported me to another dimension. One I didn’t want to escape from. I had no idea she could kiss like that. Phew! Just thinking about it made me all disoriented.
When she’d closed the distance between us, I’d never wanted it to end. She kissed like she did everything else—with her whole heart. I almost wondered how she kissed someone she actually had feelings for.
I had been trying to forget about the feelings I’d had for her since she moved in and, more importantly, trying not to overanalyze every thought and action since meeting her. But as she pulled me close and kissed me back, I realized I couldn’t hide from my feelings forever.
I wanted to explore them more. I had gotten a little taste of her, and I wanted more. I didn’t exactly know how, or what that meant, just yet, but I was willing to figure it out.
But before any of that, Kaia came first. I had to brush off any lingering feelings the kiss left. I needed to figure out what was going on in her head. Why was she so upset about it? Had I taken things too far by kissing her like that?
Her eyes were still focused on my unmoving hands. I tilted her chin up to meet my eyes. I wanted her beautiful warm brown eyes looking into mine, knowing I was there for her, not judging her. “Come on, doodle. It was all in good fun.”
She shook her head. “No, Daisy, it wasn’t.” She stood up and paced back and forth in the living room. She was really shaken up about it, but I couldn’t understand why.
I grabbed her wrist, and her movements halted. I caressed her skin, partly wanting to feel her beneath my fingers, but partly trying to calm her down. To let her know everything was going to be okay.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I promise.” I needed her to believe me. She was still acting frantically, and it was worrying me.
“Yes it is, okay? It is a big deal, and I’m sorry.”
“Why? Why do you think it’s a big deal?”
“Because!”
“Because why, Kaia? Why are you shutting me out right now? You know we don’t do this. We don’t run from each other. We talk about our shit. Clearly we have something to talk about, so start talking.”
“Because I like you, Daisy!”
I frowned, confused. “Yeah, I like you too, Kaia.”
She shook her head. “No, Daisy. I like you, like way more than I should like my best friend. That kiss wasn’t a big deal to you, but it was to me.”
I stared at her, unmoving. She covered her face and threw herself on the couch. I didn’t understand what was happening. She liked me? She kissed me like that, because she liked me?
I sat down next to her and took her hand, squeezing it three times, just as I had at the funeral and so many times before. We always did that in moments like these. When one of us was feeling vulnerable, we’d do it to say “I’ve got you.”
She took a deep breath and looked at me, something sad in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Why was she apologizing? That kiss had changed things.
I had thought everything I was feeling was because I was just lonely, and she just happened to be there. A beautiful woman so close. After I’d kissed her and all those feelings came rushing back, I knew that wasn’t true. Everything I was feeling was for her, not because of her.
I didn’t know what to do with that information. She was my best friend, and this was all so new, but I couldn’t let her go on thinking it meant nothing to me. That I didn’t want her.
“Will you stop apologizing? You might have forgotten, what, with being in the middle of a freak-out and all, but I kissed you first, remember?”
She gave me a half-attempt at a smile. “Yeah, because it’s a holiday tradition. I’m the one who basically molested your mouth.”
My fingers moved on their own to feel those same lips that tasted her hours ago. They still tasted like her lip gloss.