Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
KAIA
“Hi.” One word. The first word we’d exchanged since our fight last night. Not in person, and not in text. That one word felt like a million and none all at once.
“Hi,” I replied, not knowing what would happen next.
I’d thought about it all night and still had no answers.
After my talk with Drea, I lay in bed for hours until the sun came up.
I couldn’t sleep, my mind replaying our fight over and over again.
Daisy finally knew how I felt about her, and she didn’t feel the same.
In the back of my mind, I always knew she wouldn’t, but I still had a small speck of hope. I was stupid.
“Daisy, I’m so sorry.”
“No, Kaia, I’m sorry. Please let me explain.”
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I did, though. I’m sorry for the way I reacted. It was all just a lot, and I didn’t believe it, so I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“You felt a certain way about it, and that’s how you reacted.
It was perfectly valid. You don’t love me back, and that’s okay.
I can’t change that, and that’s something I’ll have to learn to live with and figure out where we go from here.
But what do you mean you didn’t believe it? You think I’m lying?”
She shook her head. “No, of course not. I know you think you love me, but—”
“Think? I think I love you? Daisy, I don’t think I love you. I know I do.”
“Kaia, you don't know that. Nobody chooses me, okay? I can’t be loved. You deserve someone better. Someone who doesn’t have a disability. You should be with someone who isn’t broken.”
All I could do was look at her. Was she serious? Did she honestly think those things about herself? Right then, I decided I’d do whatever it took to make her see that those were lies. She was perfect in every way, and there was no one better than her.
“Daisy Ann. None of that is true. I’m choosing you. I love you. You are not broken. You… Come with me, please.”
She frowned, but I didn’t let her say another word. I took her hand and led her down the hall and to her bedroom. I turned her around so we were both facing the mirror. It was an adorable white full-length mirror with synthetic daisies all around it. Very fitting.
I looked at her through the mirror and wrapped my arms around her, bringing my hands in front of her so she could see the truth. If she didn’t believe my words, I’d show them to her.
“Daisy, look into the mirror and see what I see. When I look at you, I don’t see any flaws.
There isn’t one thing about you that I don’t love.
I love your nose.” I touched her nose. “I love your shoulders.” I kissed her shoulder.
“I love your butt.” I squeezed her butt, and she smiled, tears still coming down.
I loved everything about her, and I needed her to understand that. I needed her to let herself be loved and let me take care of that love. I’d never drop it or break it. I’d cherish it forever if she’d let me.
I turned her around and took a small step back so she could see my hands.
“I love your fingers and toes. I love your cheeks and your eyes.” I laced our fingers together and kissed her cheek and then wiped the tears from her eyes and broke our hands apart.
“But you know what my favorite thing about you is?”
She smiled and shook her head. “No. What?”
I reached up and tenderly caressed her ear.
“These. I love the fact that you’re deaf.
That, Daisy, is the best part of you. That is the thing I love the most about you.
It’s made you more compassionate and stronger than anyone I know.
You still fight every single day, and you don’t let it hinder any part of your life.
It’s what makes you, you. And there is no one better on this planet than you, my love. ”
More tears were spilling out now, but she was smiling, so I took that as a good sign and kept going.
“You can be loved. You are loved. You’re loved by your parents, by your friends, and by me.
I love every single part of you. The way you smile.
The way you dance when you’re happy. The way you look when you sleep.
I love how silly and serious you can be.
I love how you look at me like you might love me too.
I love how I feel when I’m with you and how much safer I feel having you in my life.
Knowing you’re there for me for anything.
But most of all, I love you, Daisy Fletcher.
With my whole body, with my whole heart, with my everything.
It takes over every part of me until all that’s left is you and wanting to be with you.
Protect you. Love you. When I think about love and what it means to me, I think about you.
Please know the truth, Daisy. You are everything good and pure in this world.
You don’t understand—I don’t just love you, I breathe you.
Without you, I’m nothing. Let me choose you. ”
It took a long while and more tears before she finally said something. “I’m not easy to love, Kaia.”
I smiled. “I don’t want easy. I want you.”
I took a deep breath. I’d said all I could, and now I had to wait for her response. Either she’d love me back or she wouldn’t and we’d go our separate ways. Me one way, her and my heart another.
“If I weren’t already in love with you, that, right there, would’ve done it for me.” She smiled.
“What? What did you just say?”
I needed clarification that I wasn’t dreaming. Did she really just say what I’d been dreaming about for years?
Her smile was electrifying. “You saw me. I’m so in love with you, doodle.
I was just scared. I was scared that you’d think I was too much to handle and you would want an out.
I was scared that you’d want someone who could hear and someone who didn’t need accommodations to get through life.
The amount of love I have for you is so scary, but I refuse to give it up. I don’t want to lose you, Kaia.”
So I hadn’t misunderstood. She really loved me back. If ever there was a moment to jump up and down on a couch, that would’ve been the perfect opportunity.
I smiled, wiping a few tears that had escaped. I had just been given the greatest gift in the world. “Oh, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I choose you through it all. In this life, the next one, and any other one we could live, I’ll choose you every single time.”
I pulled her in close, not caring if she got tears and snot all over me. I was sure I didn’t look any better. I was a mess, but I was her mess. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. She loved me. She finally loved me back. There were no words to express how I felt in that moment.
She started kissing me, hard and sloppy, and I accepted it all. I wouldn’t waste another second of our time together. Knowing she loved me back was the greatest feeling in the world. Nothing compared to it. I felt like since I had her love, I could accomplish anything in life.
I held her tightly, not wanting to let her go, not wanting to create any space between us. Tears pooled at where our lips met, and I couldn’t tell who they were from. I took a step back and realized it was both of us.
She looked at me with the softest expression I’d ever seen from her, the love evident in her gaze.
“And I choose you. I’ve chosen you since that first day we met.
I just hadn’t realized exactly how much.
I need you to know, Kaia, that I’m terrified of the future, but I’m more scared of a future that doesn’t include you and me.
But no matter what, I’m not going anywhere either. It’s you and me now, baby.”
I smiled. That sounded like exactly what I wanted. “You and me, baby.”