Chapter 3
Kenzie
Lists calmed me. They made me feel happy and as though I had some control in my life.
The bright white pad of legal paper had four things on it and I tapped my favorite black pen against my teeth.
It was only seven in the morning, early Sunday, and no one was up in the house.
I had a steaming cup of hot coffee—French vanilla—and an odd sense of contentment hit me.
Yes, I hadn’t made any new friends or had any crazy experiences that I’d been craving for the past three years, but I had a sense of independence.
I could do what I wanted, when I wanted.
At home, it wasn’t the case. While I missed my parents, the alone time was welcomed.
I could just…exist without expectations.
I studied the list and was glad no one could see me smiling at it.
Schedule times to complete all school work.
Done.
Visit student union to get school ID.
I would do that after getting a tour from Tanner.
Hang out with Aaron’s girlfriend.
I’d texted her the day before and she’d agreed we’d have a girls’ night soon. And the best part of my list? The final item.
Have fun at my first college party and forget Sean.
It was stupid to get giddy over the prospect of a bunch of stupid people drinking, but I’d never gotten to do that in high school.
I’d always been working, or at the hospital, helping my mom, or trying to hold on to a relationship with Sean that was never there.
Kissing a random guy or meeting the perfect stranger for one night seemed like the best introduction to my new adventure.
I underlined fun and was taking a long sip of coffee when the stairs creaked.
Zade didn’t get up early ever, and Aaron preferred sleeping until lunch.
But Tanner liked mornings and I glanced up, expecting to see his handsome face, but instead, it was a beautiful, willowy woman wearing a tiny blue dress and holding her heels.
I covered my mouth with my hand. She’s doing a walk of shame. Oh my god. I’m witnessing a real walk of shame. I almost clapped my hands with glee. This is college!
The girl froze when her gaze found me, so I did the only thing I could. I smiled. She returned it after a second and stopped at the bottom of the staircase. “Uh, hi.”
“Hi yourself.” I couldn’t stop my snort from escaping. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. Would you like coffee before you go?”
“Sure?” She frowned and tried covering herself with her arms. “Um, who are you?”
“I guess that question makes sense. I’m living here this summer when Jeff is away.
I’m Kenzie.” I considered holding out my hand but second-guessed myself.
As my giggles got the better of me, I tiptoed as fast as I could to the kitchen and found a to-go cup under the sink.
Ew, I need to talk to the guys about storing stuff there.
I filled it, leaving an inch at the top so it wouldn’t spill, and handed it to her.
She remained in the same spot, confusion and embarrassment oozing from her. “Here you go.”
“Thanks. This has been…weird.”
“I’m not sure the etiquette, but I knew living with Tanner would be an adventure.”
“Do you know him well?” Her eyes widened at her question and my guard went up.
“Not really.” I kept my tone short and moved toward the door to open it. “Hope the coffee tastes good.”
She didn’t move though. Her lips were a faded red from the night before and she sucked the bottom one into her mouth as she stared at the ceiling. It made her seem a little off and I cleared my throat. “You were on your way out, yes?”
Her attention snapped to me and I swore she grimaced. “Y-yes. I was. I’m sure I’ll see you again, Kenzie.”
With that, she strode out the door with a confidence I envied, and I made sure to lock it after she stepped over the threshold.
It didn’t shock me, Tanner’s hook-up. Aaron had girls sneak out in high school all the time.
Sometimes, I helped keep his secrets. But the vibe was different, especially with the news of the draft being so recent.
I sighed and about screamed when Tanner peeked his head out from the railing with a stupid grin. “She’s gone?”
“Yes, asshole.” I clutched my hand over my racing heart and glared at him. “Were you waiting up there the entire time?”
“Yup. It’s kind of my MO. Pretend to be asleep, wait for them to leave.
It’s easier that way.” He shrugged and walked down the stairs.
His bare chest and low-riding shorts shouldn’t have affected me—hell, he’d just hooked up with another woman—but, oh baby, his chest was my new weakness.
He had strong and broad shoulders that paired well with his defined pecs and toned abs.
Trim, fit, dedicated. His body was his masterpiece and my mouth dried up.
Sean was nothing like this. Nothing. Where Sean was skinny, Tanner had muscles and thick ones.
He gave me a knowing smirk at my open perusal, but I just prayed he couldn’t tell what my mind was saying. “You got a little blush going on, Kenny.”
Kenny. The most unsexy nickname ever. That got my words going again and I shrugged. “Eh, you have an impressive upper body.”
“I’ve got an even better lower body,” he quipped and immediately blanched. “Shit, that just came out. I didn’t mean—I wasn’t—I can’t turn it off sometimes.”
“Settle down. It’s fine. I’ve seen a lot of half-naked dudes. It’s not that big of a deal. Yours just surprised me, that’s all.” I smoothed my extra-large shirt and tried to pull it down past my stupid short shorts I wore to bed. “So, Casanova, did you have a happy night?”
He snorted, breezed past me into the kitchen and returned with a mug of black coffee.
He could’ve sat on any of the spots available in their living room, like the recliner, or the love seat.
Instead, he sat on the cushion next to me and spread his legs so they almost touched mine.
I ignored the swooping of my belly at how close his tan skin was, or how his bedhead and sleepy eyes made him dangerously attractive.
He yawned, leaning back onto the cushion and gave me a lazy smile.
“I did have a happy night. Thank you for asking.”
“I’m friendly like that.”
“You weren’t friendly walking Mia out of the door.” He glanced at me over the mug, laughter dancing in his eyes.
“Incorrect. I was the friendliest. I offered her coffee, to go, but I didn’t like the way her eyes lit up when she asked me about you.
It gave me the creeps, like she wanted to get dirt on you, and I was not about to help with that.
No, sir.” I pursed my lips, shaking my head with overdramatic flair.
He chuckled, his entire body moving with the motion, and it took a lot of effort to not stare at his abs.
“You’re like my mini bodyguard.”
I held up my fists and kissed my left bicep, then my right. “I am tough.”
He loved my response and threw his head back, cackling too loud for the early morning.
When he finished, his stare got serious and he directed those warm brown eyes at mine.
He had the longest eye lashes I had seen on a guy and damn.
He really was hot. He reached over with his free hand and squeezed my shoulder.
His warmth traveled down my arm to my fingertips. “Thank you.”
His tone told me more than the words and a heavy feeling began my chest. Vulnerable. Tanner was someone who didn’t show weakness and he’d let me be a part of just a sliver of it. “You’re welcome. What are roomies for?”
I said the right thing to defuse whatever mood our unsaid words had built. He glanced from my face to the table a couple of times before he blessed me with his dimples. Leaning forward, he snatched the legal pad before I gathered what was happening. “Wait, no. No!”
He set his mug down, holding the paper out of my reach, and read my list out loud. “Schedule times for all school work. Get student ID. This is fucking adorable.”
“Give me my list, you dick.” I set my mug down in a hurry, the contents spilling over the sides, and jumped onto his lap, stretching to grip the edges of the paper, but I couldn’t do it. “Damn it, Tanner. You weren’t supposed to see that!”
“Hang out with Greta. My god, this is so nerdy.” He laughed, a full belly laugh, and held me at bay easily with his other hand. “Have fun at first college party and forget Sean. Wait, who’s Sean?” His tone got serious and he look me in the eyes with nothing but concern.
“My ex-boyfriend.”
“What do you need to forget about him?”
We both seemed to forget I was straddling him, my thighs placed over each one of his large ones, the heat from both our bodies combining into a dangerous shift of energy.
He stilled, dropping the paper onto the couch and removing me from his lap in one swift motion.
It was wild how easy he lifted me. No effort at all.
He swallowed hard, gritted his teeth and let go of me like I’d caught fire.
My heart beat in my throat. His hands on my hips made my knees weak.
He had an innate strength I wanted to spend hours exploring, but it would never happen.
Not with his future in the MLB in the way and mine just starting.
Not with my lack of experience and his expertise.
It couldn’t be, but that didn’t get rid of the want or the lust I had for him.
Despite a year with Sean, I never had this intense curiosity over him.
Not like I had with Tanner. Desire coursed through my blood at a disarming rate and it took more effort than I cared to admit to talk in a normal voice. “Don’t steal my shit again.”
For good measure, I picked up the pad and swatted him with it. He didn’t react, just stared at the blank TV for a solid ten seconds before meeting my eyes. “Why do you need to forget about Sean?”
I fought not to scoff. “He was a shitty boyfriend.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“What? No, not anything like that,” I replied, the warmth of his protective tone pleasing me. “He said and did all the right things to get what he wanted, so he called it quits after prom. Said it wouldn’t do any good to try something we’d know would fail once we went to college.”
He pressed his lips together, to the point they turned white, and cracked the knuckles on his right hand. “He slept with you and left? What a fucking asshole.”
My face burned red, and I was stuttering and hoping like hell I could figure out how to change the subject.
“No-no, he didn’t-it wasn’t…you know, yeah.
We fooled around for about a few months and he got bored.
Told me I worked too much, spent too much time at the hospital and lacked spirit in the bedroom. He was a fucking asshole but…”
I paused. Tanner breathed a little heavier and had a dangerous glint in his eyes.
“It wasn’t a big deal to me. I didn’t cry.
I didn’t react. I just said whatever and walked away.
I’ve always felt like my life would start in college and he was never going to be in it.
I became a little numb after the diagnosis.
It was the only way to deal with all the pitying looks and questions.
Where Aaron exploded on the outside, I imploded. ”
I shrugged, alarmed at how easily the words flowed from me.
My school counselors, my close acquaintances from class and even my fellow waiters at the restaurant had tried to get me to open up, but the words had never come…
until now. I let out a nervous laugh that bordered on hysterics. “I don’t know why I told you all that.”
The intensity on his face disappeared in an instant and an almost tender expression replaced it. He gave me a proud smile. “Thanks for sharing it with me. I’ll make sure to keep it and your list our little secret.”
“Ugh.” I held it tighter against my chest. “So, do I still get a tour today? I don’t have get a tour on my list, but I’d like one anyway.”
He didn’t get a chance to respond when a massive bout of thunder shook the house. “If the rain clears up, then yeah. If not, we can go tomorrow, because you need the student union to be open to check that one off.”
“Aw, you’re being so considerate.”
“I’m a man of the people.” He stood, stretching his arms above his head and giving me the perfect, mouth-watering view of his hard body.
I slammed my eyes closed, pretending to yawn so he couldn’t see my reaction.
“I’m going downstairs to play video games for a few hours. Let me know if the rain stops.”
He didn’t look back before walking down the hall and opening the bright red door to the basement. I didn’t close my eyes that time and let my gaze roam over his back muscles and the two dimples that hung right above his waistline.
I mentally added another item to my list. Get a grip.