Chapter 4
Tanner
Fuck me. I pressed my palms against my eyes and took a deep breath, reciting all the reasons it was inappropriate to think Aaron’s younger sister was hot. But the list only had one reason, and it was who her brother was. “Shit.”
I tossed the controller across the carpet and leaned back in the gaming chair Jeff had got last year for Christmas.
It was pretty sweet how it rocked back and forth if needed, and it was almost a semi-circle shape so we could fit.
My neck muscles throbbed with stiffness—which annoyed me more.
The entire reason I’d brought Mia back was to help lose the tension.
She had been great in bed, wild and willing to do anything, but instead of feeling relaxed and settled, I felt worse.
It had nothing to do with the draft and my future this time, and everything to do with how Kenzie felt on top of me, her hair hitting my bare shoulders and her legs spread over mine.
The way her mouth had fallen open when she’d realized the position she was in and how sweet she’d smelled so close to me.
Baby Hill.
No.
Like, so much fucking no.
But the fucking list, that was what had my chest feeling tight.
It had been so innocent, so sweet and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I wanted to be a part of that list. I didn’t have the time, nor would I break the sacred vow and fool around with my teammate, roommate, and best friend’s sister.
I groaned into my clenched hand. Sundays were supposed to be off days, where Coach wanted us to relax and not use our muscles, but the itch to release my pent-up energy had me jogging upstairs to grab a pullover and my headphones.
I could do with a light run in the rain.
Content with my decision, I’d taken two steps downstairs when my phone rang.
It was my mom, and I sprinted back into my room and locked my door.
“Hey, Mom, how are you?” I always asked the same question, my nerves dancing until she responded.
“Hey, Tallen. I’m doing just fine, like always, and your brothers are doing good too.
” She chuckled, the sound sending a wave of relief over me, and I fell onto my bed.
My middle name was Allen and my youngest brother had started calling me Tallen when he’d turned four, ten years ago, and the name had stuck.
“I have a bone to pick with you. I got your care package. Son, what did I tell you about spending a dime on us?”
I scoffed. “I don’t care. I had some extra spending money last month and wanted you and the boys to enjoy summer.”
“You’re too good to us. It should be the other way around, Tallen. It is my—”
“Mom. Stop. Must we do this every other week?” I hated how our guilt and worry seemed to compete. “We’re so close to getting you, Marcus and Malcom out of there. One more year. If I get the signing bonus I’m hoping for, we can get the animal for Marcus sooner.”
She sighed, emotion clogging her voice. “Honey, he’s doing okay. Malcom looks after him. You should see how much older Malcom looks. I swear he grew four inches since school got out!”
“Yeah?” I grinned, picturing my punk little brother trying to act taller than me. “Is he up? Let me talk shit to him.”
“He’s a teenager. He’ll sleep until noon.
” We both laughed at that and an alarm went off, signaling she had to go.
“I’m off to my second shift for the day.
I’ll leave a note for Mal to call you. I love you, Tanner.
You were my first real love, son, and I thank God every day for you. Call you in three days.”
“You too, Mom,” I replied, hating how helpless I felt being thousands of miles away. It would eat me alive if I let it, but if I shared even a hint of guilt, she’d say the right words to settle me down. You’re where you need to be. Focus on you.
It still sucked, that I’d gotten a full-ride scholarship across the country, where I only got to see her and my brothers once or twice a year.
I needed a bigger signing bonus. Then I can buy Marcus the service animal he needs, let Malcom choose whatever college he wants and pay off my mom’s mortgage so she doesn’t need to work two jobs.
It was easy to get lost in the sea of emotions, on what felt like a lonely island.
The injustice of what my dad had done to her, to me and my brothers, was enough to light my blood on fire and was the fuel that kept me going.
I took a deep breath, channeling the inner demons until I calmed my breathing.
One more year. One more year of madness and all our lives could get better.
Aaron and Greta suggested we all headed to her place of work, the Lion, for dinner since we’d run out of food, and it felt good to get out of the house. It had rained all day and the call from my mom had thrown me off my game. Some beer and wings would be a great start to feeling better.
Zade and Callie had plans with his sister, so that left Aaron and Greta on one side of the booth and Kenzie and I on the other.
It did me no good to think about how our legs touched.
Nope. I tried moving closer to the window, but it didn’t help much.
Greta sensed my discomfort and gave me her signature smirk.
“What’s up your ass, TJ? Have a bad hook-up? ”
“No, she was pretty cute,” Kenzie chimed in, and my mouth dropped open. She shrugged. “What? She was kinda hot.”
“Oh, details! Did you bump into her in the hallway?” Greta had a crazy look on her face, her eyes dancing with mirth at Kenzie. “Did he pretend to sleep until she left?”
“Wait, does everyone know that?” I asked and Aaron narrowed his eyes at his girlfriend. If I wasn’t feeling on blast, I’d enjoy his irritation. Nothing ever happened between Greta and I but I loved mentioning that we sure did flirt a bit.
“Uh, I guess?” I said, hating the tiny bit of shame that came with it.
Kenzie had a line between her eyebrows when she frowned and that little groove made me feel like a total asshole.
“I never lie to them. They know the deal, one night only, no phones allowed and there’s no morning after bullshit. ”
“When do you present all this information to them? Do you have a pamphlet you hand out at parties that details your expectations?” Kenzie put her hand on her hip and Greta cackled into her hands while Aaron looked on with concern. I ignored him and focused on Kenzie.
“They just know,” I said, again, the sinking feeling in my gut unfamiliar and unwelcome. “I’m not a monogamous type of person.”
“Unbelievable,” she said under her breath, and I swore she stiffened her shoulders. “You owe them an explanation up front and no one says that. Sure, you can be a pineapple on pizza or not type of person, but no one is just like, nope, I don’t do committed relationships.”
“No one likes pineapple on their pizza unless they’re crazy.” I’d said the wrong thing because Kenzie glared as though I’d told her Christmas was cancelled. “Great, you are, aren’t you?”
“Guess what I’m ordering tonight, player?” She stuck her tongue out at me and looked so damn proud of herself that I didn’t have the gall to make fun of her. I accepted defeat and took a long chug of the beer our waitress dropped off.
Greta chatted with Mallory—the gorgeous waitress who’d started working there six months ago—and I studied her for a second, but it was fruitless.
I couldn’t check her out without seeing Kenzie’s profile and little nose.
She wore a faded baseball hat with our team’s logo—a home plate with a cleat—in bright blue and had let her hair hang around her face.
She leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands as she chatted with Greta and Mallory.
I had no issues watching them, but Aaron cleared his throat and glared at me. “What, man?”
“Letting your hook-ups hang around the house, huh?”
I let out a frustrated breath. “She left at seven, Hilly. It’s not my fault Kenzie was up already and on the couch. She doesn’t seem fazed by it. She’s related to you.”
“I thought we were cleaning up our act,” he said through gritted teeth and tried to communicate something with his eyes.
Yeah, I knew the scandal that had almost rocked his college scholarship the year before was still fresh on all our minds, but it didn’t mean I, the only single dude in the house, had to give up sex. Because that wasn’t on the table.
“I’m being careful, if you’re worried about pictures or anything…”
“No, I’m worried about my sister.”
“What about, exactly?” I didn’t like the accusing tone in his voice any more than the way he kept looking back and forth between Kenzie and me. “Seriously, she grew up with you for a brother, dude. Ask her how many chicks she saw you sneak out.”
“That’s not here or—wait, how do you know that?”
“She told me.”
Kenzie and Greta laughed real loud, and I turned to stone when Kenzie clamped her hand around my arm. “Guess what! I have a job!”
“Yeah?” I asked, eyeing Greta and Mallory’s wide smiles. “I’m guessing here?”
“Yes! I turn nineteen in a week and can start then. Hell, yeah, go me!” Her smile stretched across her face, her joy radiating off her like rays of light. She leaned into me, doing an awkward combination of a shimmy and a dance, but her smile fell when she looked at her brother. “Why are you mad?”
“You’re young. You shouldn’t have to see TJ’s flings in the morning or work in a bar.”
“What would you have me do then, Aaron? Knit? Buy a coloring book and stay inside at all times, not enjoying life? Tell me.” She crossed her arms and jutted her chin in defiance, and the air seemed to chill around us.
It didn’t help that I was stuck on the inside, unable to escape the sibling argument, and Greta’s gaze met mine.
What do we do? she seemed to say. I shrugged. I wasn’t sure why Aaron was being a dick to his sister, but the mention of his name had me remaining in my seat. Kenzie’s eyes glowed when she got angry, and it enhanced her sun-kissed skin.
“I don’t want you having the college experience I did, tempted by the partying and drugs. I was severely against you living in the house but Mom and Dad guilted me to death to agree, making me promise to watch out for you, and if you work in a bar—”
“Forgive me for speaking candidly, brother, but you were a walking STD when you were my age. Why would I be anything like you were when I saw you fall apart? You are not my parent and I don’t need you embarrassing me like this in front of the few people I know.
” She stood and I couldn’t find a single trace of the joy that had been there just moments ago on her face.
“I’ll try and find a new place for the summer if it means we can’t have a friendship anymore, Aaron.
But think about how my life was growing up with someone like you. ” Then she got up.
The urge to berate Aaron came and went. Greta’s face spoke the same thing I felt and she gave him a scathing look before saying, “You fucking dumbass.”
He tensed his jaw, rubbing his hands through his hair, and let out a deep sigh. “I should walk her back.”
“Actually, I’ll make sure she gets home okay. You should let her cool off.” I moved to get out of the booth, but Aaron laughed without humor. “You think it’s funny? You were a dick to her.”
“Why would you make sure she gets home okay?”
“Because while you’ve spent zero time with her since she’s been here, I have. She hasn’t left the house once her first week here. I’m her only friend, Aaron. So yeah, I’m going to make sure she gets home okay.”
I didn’t worry about his response and took off after her. It didn’t take long. She had her phone out, the light showcasing her frown and tight jaw. She wore her emotions on her sleeve and I hated the hurt in her pinched expression and slumped shoulders. “Hey, I’ll walk you back.”
“I didn’t get pizza,” she mumbled, and I couldn’t be sure I heard her right.
“Come again?”
“Pineapple and ham pizza. My stomach’s been growling since lunch and I don’t regret leaving, but I need food and I don’t know where anything is so I’ve been Google Mapping it.”
It was hard not to laugh at her determination. “I know just the place.”
She exhaled, relief evident on her face, and I didn’t think twice before putting my arm around her shoulder for just a second.
I hoped the half-hug was the appropriate way to show her I supported her and I didn’t think about the loss of heat when I released her.
“Zaza’s is a new pizza joint that’s open twenty-four hours.
They have dollar slices and I can’t guarantee they’ll have pineapple and ham, but I’ll bet my life you’ll like it. ”
“Any place named Zaza’s has my attention.” She grinned, the gesture a shadow of the one I knew she could do, and I hated the mask she put on. We talked two blocks in silence before she spoke. “Did he make you come after me?”
“No. He wanted to about ten seconds after you left and I stopped him.”
She froze, bringing her gaze to mine. “Why?”
“Because you needed a friend, not your brother.”
“Are we friends, Tanner Johnson?” She had a playful curve to her lips, as if she held a secret, and it charmed me. I wanted in on the secret.
“Yes. So, if you want to talk about what happened, I’m here. If you want to eat pizza and talk about lists, we can do that too.” I shrugged, desperate to say the right things to comfort her. “Whatever you need.”
“Thank you.” She wrapped her fingers around my arm and squeezed. “I can now add make a friend to my list and immediately cross it off.”
“Ten points to you. Tomorrow, we can knock out two more. But you should probably put talk to your obnoxious twat brother on there, too.”