Chapter 34
I sitin the warmth of Connie and Kaleb”s penthouse. Connie sits on the chair next to me, I”m curled up on the sofa like a little ball. Hot chocolate sits in my lap, warming my hands and my eyes are dry. I have cried so much I don”t think I have any more tears left inside of me.
We”ve sat in silence for most of the time I have been here, I have no idea what to say. Kaleb is here, pottering somewhere. He doesn”t want to encroach, I get it. It”s his brother. I”m his best friend”s daughter. It”s messy. Real, fucking, messy.
Kaleb walks into the room, hands folded into his pockets of his suit pants, and I hear the heavy sigh vibrate through him. Connie turns to look at him, a weak smile gracing her face.
“I”m sorry, I”ve taken up so much of your evening,” my own sigh leaving me as I go to stand, and Connie places her hand on my knee.
“Don”t be silly, you”re always welcome here.”
“I don”t know what to do...” I pause, my eyes moving from Connie to Kaleb as he strolls across and sits in a chair, but next to Connie. His long finger rubs across his lips, ankle crossed over his knee.
He is smart. Handsome. I see similarities between him and Keaton, but they”re so different. Dark brown hair with shimmers of grey, tousled and styled. Beautiful striking green eyes and warm sun kissed skin. Both have structured cheek bones, and strong jawlines. Sharp enough to cut through diamonds. Always wrapped in the perfect designer suit, timeless. They”re both devastatingly handsome.
“Tell me what”s going on? I might be able to help,” he offers, his voice soft like cotton.
“I”m worried,” I half shrug, admitting.
“Of?”
“Keaton leaving me,” I blink away a tear, placing my cup on the coaster and twist my wedding band around.
“Why would he leave you?” Kaleb looks at me utterly confused and I swallow the large lump that has formed in my throat, tightening by the minute. How can I admit that I may be pregnant with another man’s baby? How can I tell them that I work in a strip club and because of that, I went to a private room with someone I pleasured myself to over a webcam? I”m a fraud and as my story develops, the lies become harder to cover, harder to remember.
Silence fills the room once more and I can feel their eyes burning into me and suddenly I feel like I can”t breathe.
“Ari?” I can hear the panic in Connie”s voice as I swing my legs round and stand from the sofa.
“I can”t breathe,” my hand pressed to my chest as it rises and falls, tightness crushing my chest like someone is tightening a belt, hole by hole and sliding it through the buckle.
“She”s having a panic attack,” Connie rushes out the room and next thing I know, Kaleb”s arms are wrapped round my trembling body, as he holds me.
He slowly lowers me to the floor, sitting behind me so I am between his legs as Connie drops to her knees in front of me, brown paper bag being placed over my nose and mouth.
“Deep, slow inhales.” Connie”s voice echoes in the distance but I am too consumed with my own thoughts.
I nod, ignoring the way my lungs are burning, my eyes stinging with tears that have escaped and rolling down my reddened cheeks. Humiliation scorns my face, my heart racing like galloping horses deep within my chest. It aches and almost feels hollow. My heart crumbling in Keaton”s hands and it doesn”t matter what I try to do, we”re always going to destroy each other. And if these babies are not his, how can I be selfish to expect him to stay with me? How can I expect him to raise kids that aren”t his. He may be here for a month or five, but he will soon grow tired and want out of whatever fucked up relationship we are in. I should have never crossed the line, and neither should he.
The tightness in my chest eases, my breaths shallow and my heart begins to calm to a slow and steady rhythm.
“You okay?” Kaleb asks me just as the elevator doors ping open and I see an angry Keaton storming towards us, brows furrowed, lines etched into his stupid handsome face. His lips are dropped, his eyes erratic as they search my face. He lowers himself in front of me, pulling me from his brother’s grasp and onto my feet as he encases me within his arms, his heart racing under his chest and that”s what I focus on.
“What the fuck?” his voice ruins the moment in an instance, his words hurling towards his brother like bullets ready to pierce Kaleb”s skin.
“She came here to talk to Connie, then she had a panic attack, so I did what I used to do to Connie...” he pauses and I hear the sharp inhale of breath rattle in Keaton”s chest, his body vibrating.
“You should have called me,” he is pissed off.
“Why should I?” Kaleb retorts. Connie stepped up from beside Kaleb, her eyes bouncing between Keaton”s. I push away from his chest, slowly turning to face Kaleb and Connie.
“Because she is my wife.”
Connie holds her hand out to stop Kaleb from answering. “And she’s my friend. She was my friend well before anything happened between the both of you. She”s not your possession. She came to speak to me because I am her friend.”
She crosses her arms across her chest and Kaleb rests his hand on her stomach, pulling her back and towards him so her back is against his chest.
Keaton says nothing but I hear the rumble of a growl that deepens as the seconds go on.
“I”m fine,” I admit, trying to diffuse this hostile situation. I didn”t want to cause any issues. Especially not between Kaleb and Keaton.
“Are you?” Kaleb asks, one brow raises, and I watch as the corners of his lips lift, his eyes not on me, but on Keaton and I know he is trying to get a rise out of him.
“Yes,” my tone is clipped. I feel Keaton”s hand rest on the slight swell of my lower stomach and my heart flutters in my chest.
“You can stay here anytime you want,” Connie interjects, and I stiffen against Keaton as his hand that has now curled round my hip tightens.
“She doesn”t need to stay here; she lives with me. It”s her home.”
I sigh, dropping my head and shaking it from side to side.
“And that”s fine, I am just giving her the option. If things ever get too heavy or you need time out then you know where we are,” and that riles Keaton up even more than he already is.
“Is there something you”re not telling me?” Keaton asks, letting me go and stepping in front of me, his beautiful eyes volleying between mine and I shake my head.
“Are you sure Ari? Because I feel like I’ve walked into something that I shouldn”t have...” he trails off and my heart thumps hard against my ribcage. “You have distanced yourself from me over the last week or so, then in the doctor’s office...” I step back but he closes the gap between us. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere...” he lowers his voice, his lips inches from mine and all I want to do is edge forward so I crash into him. “I’m all in.”
“You don”t know that,” I counter back in a whisper.
“I do,” he nods softly, fingers gripping my chin and holding my head in place, so our eyes connect, his gaze deepening as I lose myself in his. “I promise you...”
“Don”t,” I nibble my bottom lip to stop the choked sob that is threatening to escape.
“Don”t what?” he asks, edging me back against the wall.
“Promise something you can”t keep,” a tear rolls down my cheek, but his thumb pad catches it and wipes it away.
“I don”t break promises...” and I feel it, the truth seeps out of him.
“We will see,” I choke out, and with that he stumbles back as if I have winded him and my heart throbs inside my chest, my bottom lip wobbling. “I”ll see you at home?” I sort of ask, sort of say before I dip out, head down, and walk towards the elevator of the penthouse and press the button.
I give one look over my shoulder and see all three of them standing there, staring at me. A small smile graces my lips and I mouth thank you as the doors ping open and I step inside and only when the doors close, do the tears cascade down my cheeks once more.