Gone （Lucas POV）
Lucas
Silence greeted me as I walked past the foyer, a gripping cold silence that wrenched my heart. I knew she was not here yet I spent the next few minutes leaving no stone unturned to confirm the fact.
I had seen it in her eyes when she said she wanted to come home by herself and in that 10 minutes, I had been apart from her, she had slipped through my fingers.
I had never seen my home so cold and empty and quiet. Even when the kids were not there was still some warmth. But tonight it was as lifeless as I felt inside.
My eyes locked on the spot where she was standing the night she had told me she loved me too. The air still lingered of her scent. Vanilla and rose. I wanted to feel her warmth, wanted to pull her close to me, so much I wanted to say, needed to tell her.
But she was gone.
Summoning the courage, I climbed the stairs leading upstairs to her room in heavy, hopeful steps.
Maybe she just needed to get some time away, maybe she just asked the driver to take a long drive so she could think.
Maybe there was still some hope for my sorry ass.
Some hope that Chris had not left completely.
The door creaked open and I stepped inside. My eyes were accustomed to the darkness before I flicked the light switch.
Relief poured through me at the sight of her room still in order. Everything was still in place, the bed was still made, the closet still full of her clothes.
I drummed my fingers on her table relentlessly, wondering where she could have gone. If all of her stuff was still here there she could not have gone very far.
Maybe she would come back. She had to.
I had fucked up majorly tonight, I knew that. I was going to tell Chris the news about my divorce along with the signed papers once it was all concluded, but all my plans were ruined tonight.
"You lied to me!"
Her words replayed in my memory, weighing heavily on my mind. I had not given her the whole truth but I did not lie to Chris, and even if it seemed like so, it really was not because I meant to. She had to understand that I only kept my divorce issue away because I did not want to hurt her.
Because you could not trust her enough to stay by your side after the news.
Maybe it was the fear of losing her, but I really wanted to talk about it with her when I had proof of how serious I was about the divorce and now she was gone before I got the chance to tell her.
No!
She was not gone. She probably decided to take a walk and she would come back sometime later tonight.
When she returned, she would scream at me, telling me how hurt she was by my actions, and then we would fix things.
Hell, I would beg her on my fucking knees if I had to, but I would not let her leave.
My heart could not handle another woman walking out.
And this time it was the woman that had rocked my entire world, pulled me out from the saddest place in my life, given me and my kids more love than I could have ever imagined.
Chris was my light, I would not survive it if she left.
She could—would— not leave me. Christine could not leave because we were meant for each other together.
She would not leave.
I sank into her bed, holding my head in my hands. The tics of the clock informed me of every second that dragged by slowly as I waited for her to come home. A few hours passed and she still was not back.
The only words that rang in my head were: "she would come back...she had to." They were calming and with those words, I was able to deceive myself that she had not walked out on me—on us. The ache pounding in my heart was soothed by that falsity.
I curled into a ball, clutching one of her pillows and drowning myself in the sweet scent of hers that wafted through me.
It was enough to lull me to into a dreamless sleep.
I held the pillow around me, convincing myself that it was her and that tomorrow when I went to bed, I would really be holding her in my arms because she would come back.
Rays of light warmed my face, bolting me awake. It was early the next morning and the sun filtered in through her open curtain window, but she was still not there.
Panic rose in my chest, as the awareness of her absence dawned on me, then followed by the loss of will to do anything. Even move.
I lay on the bed, arms and legs spread wide as I stared up at the ceiling. I had fucked us up, pushed her away with my lies and secrets and after last night she must have felt like a fool for trusting me. I felt like a fool for hurting the woman I loved so much.
I let my thoughts flow, roaming different possibilities and scenarios.
Scenarios where I had handled the issues with Sarah better and never let her cross paths with Christine.
Scenarios where I had been honest with her from the very beginning.
If only I had not let my fear of losing her overshadow the will, to be honest with her.
None of that mattered now, because she was gone.
Being the idiot that I was, I managed to push the best thing that had ever happened to my life away.
The kids would be shattered. She had promised to stay with them forever but I could not blame her for breaking that promise.
A person could only handle so much deception.
Now it was my fault my kids had to suffer yet another woman walking out of their lives.
Defeated, I pushed myself off the bed and walked over to the window overlooking the neighborhood below.
Chris was out there somewhere. I just had to find her, see her, hold her and tell her how sorry I was for all the lies and half-truths.
She was hurting, I knew that but I could not let her go, I could not let her slip through my fingers just like that.
Not without so much as a goodbye, not without any closure.
I had to at last try to find her. For both of us, for all of us, I could not lose Chris.
With renewed resolve, I threw on a pair of jeans and a button-down after a quick shower. If there was anyone who would know where Chris was it was her best friend, followed by my sister who was probably still pissed at having her engagement party crashed for all the drama last night.
But first I had to make sure the name Sarah was completely washed away from our lives and the one way I could do that was finalizing the divorce. Soon.
I climbed down the stairs in hurried steps, ready to make myself a coffee and fix an appointment with the attorney to quicken the process.
I jerked up in surprise as I met Emma in the kitchen, going about her usual chores.
Her presence was surprising, because I had given her the next few weeks off, seeing as the kids were away on their holiday with my parents, and I wanted to make the most of this time with Chris.
We had made a long list of plans, sadly those pans would not be carried out and it was all thanks to my fuck up.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I stepped further into the kitchen.
She turned around to look at me with a shocked smile. "G-good morning Mr. Maxwell..." she stuttered, holding her hand on her chest in surprise. "I wasn't expecting to see you here this morning."
She was right, I was supposed to spend the night back at my parent's if all had gone well last night.
"That did not answer the question." for some reason, she looked so suspicious this morning, and she was fidgeting like she had been caught for something.
I wondered why. "you had the next few weeks off, why did you come back today? "
"Well, I needed to pick up a few of my things. I intend to spend the next few days at the hospital with my nephew," she explained.
"He's still sick?"
"He's getting better." she smiled, "I heard about what had happened to Mia last night. I'm so sorry about it."
I frowned, looking at the time on my watch. "Have you received the papers this morning?"
"Not yet." she smiled.
"How do you know about what happened last night then?" my eyes were narrowed at her as my mind tried to question the idea growing in my head.
All of my problems with Chris had started the day she had found that room and it was only so because she had been given directions by Emma to help her clean it.
I was not carefree enough to forget to lock that door and if it was open when Chris found it, someone opened that door.
It could not have been the kids, and that left only one person.
A person that had access to all the doors and keys in this house aside from me and the security.
Emma.
If I had any doubt about her betrayal, the way her nerves shot up at my question was enough to refute them.
"It's on every tabloid station on my way here.
" she chuckled nervously, playing with the hem of her apron, "oh Mr. Maxwell, we don't need to talk about such sour topics as miss Sarah, do you need my help with anything? "
I considered confronting her about it, but that would not be enough, plus this could very well work in my favor.
If Emma was really working with Sarah in any way and feeding her information about this house, it would be enough to turn off whatever case she wanted to take up in court. I just needed more evidence.
I could not help but wonder why though. Why Sarah would do that after working for nearly six years with me. I would find out when I reached the bottom of this. For now, I had a divorce to finalize.
"No, I don't need anything thanks." I walked back out of the kitchen, no longer able to stomach any food after learning of Emma's backstabbing ways. "'You should get going soon."
Instead of the attorney's number, I called security. As usual, my call was forwarded on the first ring.
"Deactivate Emma's keycard," I said into the phone as I climbed into the red Ferrari.
"What? Sir, do you mean that?" he asked curiously.
"Yes." if I was going to get to the bottom of this, the first thing I needed was to make sure neither of those bitches had access to my home. "Deactivate her card the minute she leaves and I want footage from the third-floor hallways in the last one month."
He sounded unsure but said a "yes, sir," anyway.
After searching with absolutely no leads and no hopes of finding her all day, I pulled into the driveway, feeling no better than I did when I walked through the doors this morning. It was like she had disappeared completely.
I had hoped to get some information from Celine, but that hope was completely shattered when she had called my cellphone asking how Chris was feeling after last night.
It was unusual that Celine would call after what had happened if I knew her as much as I thought I did, she was supposed to be here last night clawing at my face for putting her best friend through so much.
I dropped my head on the headrest, going through how my day had gone. First I had to sign off anything else that had to be signed for the divorce to be complete. I was going to be getting the final results tomorrow and hopefully, that would be the very end of my bitter phase with Sarah.
Every tabloid had the news about how badly Mia's engagement had gone and I could not have been more thankful for the anonymity I and my family had kept with the press for years despite our high ranks in this society.
It would go a damn long way to protect us from any harassment from tabloids whatsoever, who just wanted to invade and dig into our private lives.
At least that was one of the many things I did not have to worry about.
I looked at my phone, reopening the one thousand and one voicemails I had sent her in the hopes that she would even look at one. They were all left unanswered. All the voicemails I had left since last night.
I knew her phone was still turned off, but that did not stop me from attempting to call her again. As I expected, I was sent straight to voicemail. I added yet another to the growing pile.
My head fell forward, hanging freely. I wanted to know where Chris was. Was she being taken care of? I needed to know she was safe, needed to talk to her, needed to fix my fuck up.
If only I knew where in this goddamn city she was. I would go to her in the snap of a finger.
The next day yielded nothing either, and frustration had started to settle in.
But really was I not frustrated from the very beginning?
I had driven to more lengths than I had the day before.
The airport, the train station, car rentals, showing her picture to everyone I could come across as I searched like a mad man for her.
I even sought Drey's help. He knew one of the best hackers in the country.
Charles helped me track her credit card and where it had been used last, but that yielded no positive result too.
The last time she had made a purchase on the card was a day before Mia's engagement. It was information I could not use.
I drove back to Celine's, hoping for anything to help, house but received the same answer.
"You have got some damn nerves showing up here after all you did to her," Celine said in a cold voice planting her hands on her hips as she blocked the front door.
"Please Celine, I just need to speak to her for five minutes. I know you're upset..."
"Upset does not begin to cover it. She fucking trusted you, and you gave that bitch the leverage to humiliate her right in front of everyone.
I don't know what you saw in that crazy witch but I do know my best friend does not deserve any of the shit you put her through when all she was trying to do was love you and your family. "
"Fuck you think I don't know that?!" I barked, raking a hand through my hair, "I fucking know that and that's why I'm pleading with you to tell me where she is Celine, please give me a chance to fix this."
"And risk getting her hurt again?" she scoffed, "I have always protected Chris, this time would be no different, so better get your lying ass out of here right this fucking minute."
"Is she inside?" I stepped closer, ignoring the warning in her tone.
"Why don't you go see for yourself, while I call the cops and tell them a man thrice my size armed and dangerous-looking is trying to force his way into my house and assault me." she shot back, without missing a beat.
"You wouldn't," I watched with wide eyes as she dug her phone from her pocket.
"Three seconds to get the hell out of here, or watch me do it."
I badly wanted to push past here and get a look for myself if Christine was inside, but there was a chance she was not, and with the rage dancing in Celine's eyes, I did not doubt a bit that I would be spending a few hours with the cops if I went with that option.
I did not have a few hours so I wisely stepped back, giving the house one last lingering look, before heading back to my car.
Anger settled in as I stepped into the dark, quiet, and empty house again.
Anger, frustration, pain, guilt coursed freely through me and I grabbed the first thing my hand could curl around, flinging it across the living room.
Somewhere in the dark, what sounded like glass shattering into a million pieces filed my ear.
"Breaking stuff in anger again?" Mia's voice sounded from the area where the glass shattered, followed by the flooding rays of light made me squint for a second. She stepped closer, "I thought we passed that stage at least five years ago."
"Good to see you to sister," I said drily, making my way to the bar. I took the first bottle in my reach, popping the cover open and taking a long swig. It burned my throat down to my chest, making me groan harshly. It was fucking raw tequila.
"I never said it was good to see you," she stepped closer, and I did not bother to protest as she pulled the bottle from my hand and landed it on the table.
She had worked for so long to pull me free from the drinking habits I had drowned myself in after Sarah left me.
I knew too damn well how easy it was right now to fall back right into the loop of drinking to ease my pain.
"I'm sorry I ruined your engagement, I know you put in a lot to make it perfect."
"Firstly, you did not ruin my engagement, Sarah did, second, it was not ruined, since we were already at the last event for the night." she turned around and headed for the kitchen.
I followed behind her from a distance. "I thought you were mad at me."
"I am." She walked to the fridge while I sat on the island stool. After passing me a bottle of water she continued. "Because you lied to me and most especially, you hurt her."
I did not need to ask who I hurt, the guilt of that action had been weighing on me all day.
"Why did you prolong the divorce for so long?" she asked the same question I was sure everyone wanted an answer to.
I sighed, raking through my hair and tousling it for the hundredth time today.
"Every time I tried, I could not. That night I tried, I really tried Mia.
I tried to sign it and send her way as I should have, but there was no strength or courage to do it.
" I could not count how many times I had attempted to end it with Sarah by signing the divorce, instead, I would end up drowning myself in her belongings that remained in that room and writing those ridiculous letters that never made it past the door.
"You should have at least told me your struggles, Lucas. I thought we were best friends." she swallowed hard as her eyes watered.
"Actually it's me and Robbin." I attempted a joke but that did nothing to lighten the air.
"It does not matter." she cried, "what matters is I care about you Lucas because you're my brother. I would have helped you gather the courage to sign the papers and end it with Sarah long ago."
"Mia you were already doing so much for me." I threw my hands in the air, "You were in your second year of college, juggling your studies, taking care of the kids like a mom, and then you had to protect me from breaking every day. I could not have added more weight to you."
"Was I complaining?!"
I blinked at her question. "not exactly."
"No, I never complained. I love you so much Lucas and I hate Sarah for what she did to you. Fuck I worked so hard, thinking you had finally let go of her, I can't even express how hurt it made me to know you were still married to her all these years."
"I'm sorry." I really was.
"I'm not the one you owe an apology," she said bluntly.
"How do I apologize to her, I don't even know where she is in this damn state." I held my head in my hands, looking down.
"Do you love her Lucas?"
My sister's question was enough to leave me shocked. "You know I do."I loved her so much it physically hurt to think of being away from her.
"Realy?" she raised a brow. "then why is she not here with you if you love her."
"I have been trying to find her for two days Mia, two fucking days with no result." I threw my hands in the air, fighting back the tears that stung my eyes. At least with Mia, I could always keep my emotions real.
"Then I guess she's hiding in plain sight," she said drily.
"Where are you getting at?" I raised a brow.
"Where's the one place Chris would always turn to for support on her darkest day?"
"Celine said she did not know where Chris was."
"If Celine did not know where Chris was you would not be sitting so quietly, licking your wounds. She would put some really good fire under your ass until you found Chris."
I knew Celine was lying all along. "But she threatened to call the cops when I was there today."
"Then I guess you would have to prove your love by spending a few hours behind bars."
"Mia, would you stop being so cryptic?" I growled in frustration. "Tell me where she is."
"Why would you assume I know." she shrugged, and I gave her my iciest glare, successfully drawing the truth from her."You are so fucking lucky I love you Lucas because you are an ass."
I got to my feet, ready to take my leave to wherever she told me. "Where is she?"
"At Celine's"