Tough choice
The wait was killing. So much so, that I paced the hospital room where we waited enough to drill a hole through the floor.
"Lucas, worrying is not going to do anything for you right now," Mia pointed out, from where she sat next to the window.
She had arrived, apologetic and tear-filled a few hours ago, and knowing the real reason Chris had to leave, it was easier to let my anger with my sister and sister-in-law slide.
I could not even do this without them anyways.
My family was the only people I could show my real emotions to and right now, I felt dreadful.
Every 'what if' in the book had gone through my mind, been refined, declined, and revisited.
Thankfully, Lilian was kind enough to stay with the kids back at the villa, the last thing I needed was to have my kids within these hospital walls now.
That would be distracting.
"Not worrying is going to make me go crazy," I said, keeping up my pace. A loc of my hair fell to my face, a result of tugging it too hard in desperation and worry. I groaned harshly, pushing it back impatiently, "How long does it fucking take?"
"A long while Lucas. It's surgery, you have to give them time." she stretched her hand out in invitation, "come sit with me, you look exhausted."
"I dare anyone to walk back and forth for six hours without looking exhausted." I snapped, frustration bubbling up in my gut. Thankfully, my sister did not mind.
The doors burst open and I looked up quickly, hoping to see the doctor or someone with some news.
In his defense, Robin did have some news.
Just not what I was interested in at the moment.
He strutted in, holding up his phone, "My phone is going crazy with calls," he sighed as he took a seat next to Mia, "First from mom, then dad, and the press.
Apparently, they already spun various rumors in just a few hours. "
"Fuck, how did they find out, we're not even in the country."
He gave a bitter laugh, "You underestimate those leeches. I have them handled though, leave it to me."
"Thanks, man."
"Anytime. But I should warn you though, you can't take any of mom's calls, at least not right now,"
"why?" Mia eyed him curiously.
"Well, you're only going to hear her sob out her worries and dad trying to pacify her. You know how she can be when she's worried."
"Noted," I said in a clipped tone, My phone vibrated in my pocket just as I spoke. "Speak of the devil."
As I pulled the cell from my pocket, the doors burst open and this time, relief washed through me as a doctor strode in. I looked at my phone briefly to see it was not a call from mom, but from my lawyer instead.
"Mr. Maxwell?" the doctor asked, looking between the three of us.
"That's me." I took a step forward, tossing my phone to Robin. He caught it in a smooth move. "Take that for me."
"Can we speak for a minute," the doctor asked, "in private?"
Obliging, I followed the doctor's lead, and shortly after, we arrived at his office. "Please take a seat, Mr. Maxwell,"
I waved a hand, too impatient for any formalities, "Just tell me how are they." I steeled myself, keeping my emotions unreadable, yet preparing for the worst.
"The surgery went well, and she is stable," he said, but his tone told me there was more.
"Good, that's wonderful," I sighed in relief, even though not fully satisfied by his answer, "but I asked, how they are?" I emphasized the 'they' this time.
"I haven't finished on your girlfriend yet. She is out of danger, but unfortunately, the impact on her head caused a brain injury and she's now in a coma."
The word coma rang in my head repeatedly. I rand my hands over my face, accepting his invitation for a seat this time. "What does that mean for her, for the baby?"
"Well since it's still in its early developments, we cannot exactly run as many tests as we would like on them and at this point, the health of the mother deeply affects the state we would find the child in.
" he picked up a chart in front of him, "the good thing though is that for the same reason, the accident may not have affected the child enough to do substantial damage. "
"So there will be damage."
"May," he corrected, "we just cannot tell yet."
"But you can give me an idea, at least to prepare me for what will come." I snapped.
He sighed, going over the chart again, "Well, there can be injuries to the child and these injuries can cause various issues through the pregnancy and even after the child is born. In most scenarios, worse could happen." He did not say it in clear words but I knew what he was not saying.
We could have an abnormal child, or even worse, we might not even have a child at all.
I felt the blood and energy seeping through me at jet speed. I would never forgive myself for this one. "And Chris? When will she be out of the coma?"
"Honestly, I cannot say for sure," he said in a solemn tone.
"Is there anything you know for sure?!" I barked, desperation clouding any good sense at this point.
The doctor must have been in countless situations like this because he remained calm as he spoke, his voice without edge or annoyance.
"It might be days, weeks, months, or even years, and yet there have been countless cases of those who never came out Mr. Maxwell.
Hence my earlier statement that I cannot tell for sure.
And while it is inconclusive, there is a high chance that with her in a coma, this will be a pretty tough pregnancy, if they both even make it through the next 24 hours. "
Everything else that happened, happened in a whirlwind.
Most of which I was not present. He went on and on about protocols, procedures, and so forth and while I was physically present, my mind was long gone.
I was faded to thoughts of Chris. I had never been religious, but I prayed, prayed to the heavens, and whoever could hear my silent plea for her to wake up.
Prayed that today would not be the day I lost her.
Tears swarmed in my eyes and I waited to leave the doctor's office before letting them roll down in heavy streaks.
Mia was in the waiting room when I arrived and her face fell even further as she saw me.
Without a word she walked up to me, wrapping her arms around me in a long hug.
Even through her silence, I could hear the words, "It will all be okay,"
And God I hoped it would.
Any hope of that though crumbled as the door flung open and Robin came into the room, my phone in his hand and a depressing look on his face. "We have a problem,"
"I don't think there could be anything worse than my girlfriend being in a coma," I said flatly, reaching for my phone. but his next words stopped me dead in my tracks.
"I just spoke to the attorney, Sarah reportedly is not in the country anymore."
I worked to keep control and not punch a fist in the wall, "when?"
"I don't know, but she did not show up for her routine check-up yesterday..."
"And this is just reaching my ers?!"' I snaped.
"Our attorney was not informed until an hour ago."
Shit!
"Anyways, they are on the lookout for her," he continued, "according to him they're doing everything they can to find her."
"They better," I growled, shoving my hands in my pockets. I would hate to have it stitched up for drilling a hole through the wall.
"Do you think she's involved with what happened to Chris?" Mia lifted a brow, eyes wide as if she could not even fathom the thought of how far Sarah was willing to go.
Well, I could. "I don't know, but if she is, she better hope the cops find her before I do," I muttered as I headed for the door, some fresh air would do me some good at the moment.
"It doesn't matter who finds her, just as long as she is found."
I turned to her, perfecting my face into a grim and dark expression, "It does matter, it matters in whether she would just be spending the rest of her life in jail or if she would be wiped off the face of this planet entirely."
And so help me God if I found Sarah first.
I held up the shiny diamond ring in my face.
It glittered, reflecting the colors from the light above me.
Twenty-four hours and still no news on the woman I was about to make my wife.
It was contradictory to the words 'no news is better than bad news," because in this case, no news was driving me fucking insane.
A series of tests and examinations had been carried out on Chris in the last few hours, but still, she was not awake yet.
Thank God for Celine and Mia that had managed to hold me back from going in there myself to see her.
While officials were desperately trying to find Sarah with no leads yet, I had my own plans too.
This time I was not letting her slip by my fingers so easily.
Robin led my men in the search for her and with Alexander and Celine now present too, I was thankful when Alexander had offered to make sure everyone back in the villa was safe.
She had nowhere to go because if she came even remotely close to my family, I would rip her apart.
The door swung open and the doctor strolled in. The expression on his face made that tiny bulb of hope in his heart flutter. "So there is some news."
Just some news. At least he would look worse if it were bad news.
Every head in the room swiveled to him in utter attention.
"After the tests, we ran on her, we concluded that it is safe to do more tests on the embryo and that means we can determine for sure how the baby is doing. We just need your permission."
"You have it," I said quickly, not wanting any minute delayed, "but I need to be in the room with her,"
"Of course. Not during the initial test though, but being its father, you're welcome to be present during the ultrasound."
I nodded, thanking him before he left.
It was another hour before the doctor said it was okay to see Chris. Only one person at a time though and I decided it would be me, being the obvious person. Mia and Celine being the only two left here with me nodded in understanding as I followed the doctor's lead to her room.
I sucked in a sharp breath as his hand closed over the doorknob, I had to be strong for this, for Chris, for our family, it was the least I could be for her.
There was a high possibility that the ultrasound would bring a negative result, but I chose to keep my mind on the positive part.
That she was still alive and while it would be hard to move on from this, as long as we had each other, as long as Christine was in my life, we would pull through.
I would make sure I made up for this fuck up.
A knife twisted in my chest when she came into view, causing my feet to halt.
A good number of machines stood next to Chris, beeping slowly, tubes and IVs strapped to her small form on the bed.
The large room was ghostly quiet except for the machines beeping and guilt slammed into me harder with every slow rise and fall of her chest. Bandages were wrapped on some visible parts of her body, and a good part of her face and lips were a light shade of purple from the impact of the accident.
She looked badly hurt, yet nothing short of the most breathtaking woman I had ever seen.
My legs could not carry me fast enough and I was by her side at the speed of light. With shaky hands, I reached for her, stopping mid-air. I turned to the doctor who was now busy examining her, "Is it okay to touch her?"
"Yeah, just not with too much pressure." he nodded to the seat next to the bed, "you might also want to take a seat."
I nodded tersely, just as a nurse walked in, wheeling an ultrasound machine.
Carefully, I held her fragile face in my hand, a light, and small touch, avoiding the places that clearly hurt.
I pressed a small kiss on her forehead, lingering there for a few seconds to let relief sweep through me before moving an inch apart from her.
"My badass fighter, I have no doubt you will fight through this too. "
Everything else faded, as I took her hand in mine, pulling the seat loser with my foot. I sat next to her, her small hand in mine with the other closed over it. I did not want to let go. I had done so before and look where it led us. No, not again.
Bits and pieces of the doctor's explanation filtered through my ear as he prepared for the test but I did not care, I just wanted to hear the words 'they are both fine,"
I brushed my hand over hers occasionally hoping the warmth would at least spark up some reaction, any. A flutter of her lashes, a twitch of her fingers, a purse of her lips. But with nothing, I decided to keep hope. She would come back to me, I knew it.
The room fell silent as the doctor did what he had to and my attention drifted to the screen. It felt like the anvil in my heart had been removed, replaced by something sweeter as the screen lit up with the ultrasound of our child.
"So perfect," I whispered, squeezing Chris's hand and wishing she would wake up to share this joy with me. It reminded me of the first time I had seen the twins, the joy that had attacked my heart that day, and it was no less this time. "Do you think she can hear me?"
"Well she can feel your movements, but it's too early to determine whether he or she can hear you yet." the doctor explained, a frown slowly forming on his face as he continued to examine the screen.
"Thanks, but I meant my Girlfriend. Can she hear me in this state?" I clarified.
"Oh, yeah. She might not be able to respond, but in most cases, she can hear you and even feel it when you're next to her."
I offered him a grateful nod, before turning back to Chris, "'Wake up Muffin," I whispered, a plea I hoped she would listen to, "Please wake up and see the beauty we both created."
No response. But that did not mean I was giving up just yet.
The room fell into silence again and I looked between the doctor and nurse, this time seeing the apparent worry in their faces, like a fear they were confirming. "What's wrong,?" I asked looking back at the screen for what I was missing.
They shared a brief look that made my heart thump in my chest, before turning to me.
The doctor spoke, "there might be a problem. I feared this would come up when I looked over her charts, but now that I see the ultrasound, it's no longer just a doubt."
Oh for heaven's sake. I swallowed against the thick lump in my throat, "With her?"
"Well in a way," he tilted his head back to the screen, "If she carries on with this pregnancy there's a good chance it will cost her life."
My mouth went dry. It felt like the universe was slamming me with every damn problem in its book. It must have been my imagination, but I felt the slightest twitch from Celine's finger as the doctor spoke.
Please wake up, wake up so all of this would be over.
The doctor pressed a button and the screen went blank after ordering the nurse to tidy up the place he had carried out the ultrasound, he checked her vitals once more. before turning around the bed to me.
"Does the pregnancy affect her now?" I asked.
"Not really, but it will as she develops further. I hate to say it but your best option would be to end it now. I know it is difficult, but it gets even harder as the child grows." I jerked up as I felt his hand clasping my shoulder, "It's your decision what you want to do..."
"We will wait for her to wake up," I cut him short, my hands never leaving her, eyes unwaveringly trained on her.
"You have to make a decision Mr. Maxwell, it might take months..."
"I said we will wait," I said more sternly this time. "She will wake up soon, " it was not just a feeling, I knew in my bones. She just needed time, a break from everything.
"Of course," he said in a clipped tone, "just let me know when you're ready."
"I want to be with her, alone," I said, smoothing my palm over hers.
He hesitated for a brief moment but did not counter my request. Good, because it was not exactly one. Now that I was here with her, I did not intend to ever leave until she opened her eyes.
I sucked in a sharp breath as everyone left the room. Being alone with her meant I could pour my heart out to her—and she would hear.
I brushed a soft kiss on her hand, leaving my mouth lingering on the spot.
"Chris," I started willing my voice to stay steady, "remember when we promised each other a million little battalions? Well, guess what Muffin, the first is already on the way. I just got to see the first picture of him and he is just beautiful. But I don't want to do this, not without you."
"I can't do this if you're not there with me," I continued, "he needs you and the twins need you, and I—" I choked on my words, "I am completely lost without you Muffin. So please, please wake up."
"I'm losing everything," I lowered my head, sinking on the bed next to her, my hand never leaving hers, "I will not lose you too. Take as much time as you need Muffin, but I'm right here whenever you're ready to come back."