15. Chapter 10
On Pointe, Off Course
Evin
T he weeks passed. The sun still warmed the streets of Santa Barbara, but the silence between her and Bas remained.
No glances, no words—as if they were strangers, as if none of it had ever happened.
Evin tried not to let it get to her, tried to focus on school, but it was getting harder.
Her mind kept drifting, pulling her back into memories, into conversations that never took place.
The first exams didn’t go well. Her eyes lingered on the questions, the words blurred together, and even when she knew the answers, she couldn’t bring herself to write them down.
School had always been her constant—now it felt like everything was slipping through her fingers.
Evin stood in front of the massive mirror in the ballet studio, her hands on her hips, every muscle in her body tense.
They burned. Every step, every leap, every turn was a small battle, as if her body were protesting against the strain.
But she ignored the pain. She had to. Ballet wasn’t just dance—it was di scipline, a complete mastery of every muscle, every emotion.
While others in the class might see the lightness in her jumps, the perfection in her lines, Evin felt the pull in her calves, the tremble in her feet, the faint ache in her joints.
Every muscle in her body was pushed to its limit, and yet she had to appear as though it were effortless.
The studio floor felt unyielding beneath her feet, but her toes, bound tightly in her pointe shoes, landed with precise control.
She knew that every mistake, every misstep, could be seen as a sign of weakness.
And there was no room for weakness here.
"Light and graceful," Mrs. Wagner had said. Light and graceful. Evin’s gaze dropped to her thighs.
Ballet was, in truth, harsh, demanding, and painful—and that was exactly why she loved it.
Every movement was a challenge, a test that pushed her to the very edge of her physical capabilities.
Yet amidst the pain and exhaustion, there were fleeting moments when everything aligned.
When her arms and legs felt like extensions of her will, when she stopped thinking and simply existed.
The movements flowed, and her body performed without hesitation, as if it were on autopilot.
She let her gaze sweep over her reflection. The last rays of sunlight poured into the studio, highlighting her figure. The tight leotard and tights revealed every curve, every inch of her body, which she scrutinized more critically than ever before.
5'6" and 130 pounds.
Mrs. Wagner’s words echoed in her mind repeatedly.
The message was clear. To land a lead role, she had to be lighter.
More perfect. She’d already dropped almost six pounds, but it wasn’t enough.
Not yet. The auditions for the performance were approaching fast, and every meal felt like an obstacle.
Evin envisioned herself as Nikiya, but she knew talent alone wasn’t enough—it required discipline.
Not just in her dancing, but in every aspect of her life.
Her weight felt like an invisible barrier standing between her and her dream.
Her thoughts drifted briefly.
The past few weeks had been a blur. She and Ben were already history. The comments had stopped. But Bas still ignored her. And the pressure remain ed. Her grades had slipped, her energy was drained. Yet she clung to one thing: dance. Here, she could forget everything, even if only for a few hours.
Luckily, Mrs. Wagner unlocked the studio for the girls on weekends for extra practice; otherwise, Evin didn’t know how she would reach her goal.
Tonight, Jonas was hosting one of his infamous parties.
Swimming in the pool, good music, and plenty of alcohol.
It would be the first time in weeks she’d see Bas outside of school.
The uncertainty of how the night would unfold gnawed at her, but she pushed the thought aside.
For now, all that mattered was focus. Controlling her body, silencing the pain.
She had to be ready when the decision for the lead role came.
With one last deep breath, she straightened and turned for another look at the mirror. Her muscles were sore and exhausted, but she resolved to run through the routine one final time before heading out.
__________
Evin sat on the edge of her bed, her phone resting in her palm. No messages. Of course not. Bas hadn’t texted her in weeks, and though she kept telling herself it didn’t matter, the quiet ache in her chest said otherwise.
Damn it, why wouldn’t she care?
That nagging feeling wouldn’t go away—the uncertainty of whether he’d ever look at her the way he used to. But tonight wasn’t about him. Or at least, she wanted to believe that
“Come on, pull yourself together. This isn’t his night,” she muttered, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.
This was Jonas’s party. Distraction. Fun. No Bas.
She sighed, staring at her reflection. What exactly are you expecting? That he’ll suddenly notice you tonight?
Of course, it was about him. Who was she kidding? A small laugh escaped her as she caught herself in her own naivety.
You spent two hours getting ready just to impress him.
She shook her head immediately, but a faint smile lingered on her lips .
Okay, maybe I’ll see him... but I’ll stay totally cool. No feelings, no drama. Just act like he’s not even there.
And yet, maybe—just maybe—there was a tiny spark inside her that hoped he would see her.
She hated that it mattered to her. But it did.
After all, he was the only one who had ever truly understood her.
And still... she wasn’t going to chase after him tonight.
No, she had promised herself that.
The warm bronze tone of her dress complemented her skin, making it glow under the soft golden light spilling in from the hallway.
With a deep breath, she grabbed her bag and walked toward the door, heels clicking softly against the wooden floor.
___________
The rhythm of the music pulsed through the warm night air as she pushed open the door to the garden, the scent of freshly cut grass and summer blooms wrapping around her. The vibration of the bass resonated in her chest, and the fleeting thought of him sent a tingling sensation down her thighs.
After only a few steps, she was surrounded by the familiar haze of cigarette smoke and the sharp tang of alcohol. Though it was early October, the night still felt like summer.
"We have to make the most of these last warm days ," Jonas had said when he announced the party at school.
Evin took a deep breath, the smell of chlorine tickling her sinuses as she blinked into the distance.
He had to be somewhere.
Her heartbeat quickened involuntarily at the thought of him.
She tried to shake it off, but his presence seemed to hover over everything, as if the wind itself whispered his name.
Tonight , she told herself, things could turn around.
With a nervous smile, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and walked slowly along the path lit by small lamps, leading to the pool. The dark water reflected and shimmered with colorful lights and moonlight, while the music grew louder with every step.
She was supposed to be looking for Milka. Where was she?
Evin had texted her earlier, but there had been no response. Since her ballet practice had run late, Milka had left for the party ahead of her. Evin was curious to hear how the evening had gone so far.
The warmth of the evening clung to her skin, mixing with the faint scent of chlorine and distant cigarette smoke.
The music pulsed through the night, carrying with it laughter and the occasional sound of splashing water from the pool.
The garden lights cast golden pools onto the stone pathway, illuminating glimpses of legs dipping into the water, heads thrown back in laughter, and glasses reflecting the glow of the lanterns.
With a practiced smile on her face, she felt ready to blend into the crowd.
Her gaze swept over the sea of people, searching. And then—there he was. Near the pool, just beyond the dancing shadows.
Bas leaned casually against the stone wall, a half-full beer in his hand, talking to a few friends. His deep, carefree laugh mixed with the soft splashing of the water and the steady thump of the music in the background.
And then—he looked up.
Their eyes met.
For a brief moment, a sly grin flickered across his face, and a shiver rippled through Evin, settling in the pit of her stomach.
Her breath hitched as he nodded at her, damp strands of hair falling into his face. For a fleeting second, her insecurities wavered. But she didn’t dare hope. She knew how quickly things could change. She couldn’t let herself read too much into it.
Then, as if deciding something, he ran a hand through his hair, pushed off the wall, and started walking.
Straight toward her .
Sebastian
H e spotted her the moment she stepped into the garden.
Of course he did.
It didn’t surprise him how good she looked. But God, it pissed him off how she still managed to make him nervous.
Bas took a slow sip from his beer, letting the cold bitterness sit on his tongue while he kept up the act—pretending he hadn’t noticed a damn thing.
He wouldn’t let it show. Not after everything.
She was looking for someone—probably Milka, maybe Ben, maybe anyone but him.
Good.
She should.
She should stay as far away from him as possible.
Bas shifted his weight and forced a laugh at something Dominic said. Still, his gaze kept dragging back to her.
And then she saw him. Their eyes locked—and right after, Evin rolled her eyes.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
He could’ve stayed with the boys. Or could’ve walked up to her, said something—anything.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he pushed off the wall, straight for Cat, straight for the easy choice.
Still, he made sure to walk past her.