15. Chapter 10 #2
Let her see him. Let her feel it. Part of him hoped—no, needed—it to sting. Even just a little.
He barely registered whatever he whispered into Cat’s ear, barely cared when s he laughed.
His mind was still on Evin—the way her lips had parted like she wanted to say something, the way her shoulders had stiffened when he brushed past her without a second glance.
He hated himself for it.
But hurting her felt safer than letting her close again.
Evin
H er lips parted, just about to respond—
But then, he walked right past her.
“Hey,” she mumbled under her breath, the word slipping out before she could catch it.
Without even looking directly at him, she knew.
It wasn’t her he was walking toward.
Of course not.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Bas approaching Cat, who stood just a few steps behind her in a tight summer dress. He leaned down, whispered something in her ear.
She laughed.
Evin rolled her eyes. Ugh. Just what I needed.
Rooted to the spot, a sharp pang twisted in her stomach.
Pointless. What did you expect?
A weak smile formed on her lips. She laughed softly at herself.
Damn it, I still want him.
But nothing was going to change.
He still knew exactly how to make her feel like nothing.
Just like back then—
in that stupid classroom where words had hit harder than any shove ever could.
___________
She knew that look all too well—the one that made her pulse quicken, half with frustration, half with something she didn’t want to name. The last time had been months ago, in a classroom, during yet another fight neither of them had been willing to back down from.
A classroom debate about World War II had quickly spiraled out of control because Evin and Bas, as usual, had opposing views.
After the lesson, when the teacher had left the room, Bas seized his chance and approached Evin.
"So? Have you calmed down yet? You always take things so damn personally." His grin was wide, unbothered and boyish—like he hadn’t just spent the last forty-five minutes getting under her skin on purpose.
“Wow. Charming,” Evin muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Excuse me?” Bas leaned in slightly, his tone still playful but tinged with provocation.
Evin couldn’t help herself. Her anger made the words spill out before she could stop them.
“Maybe you shouldn’t always be so arrogant from your side of the room.”
The moment the words left her mouth, she knew she had hit a nerve. Bas blinked briefly, and the childlike grin faded from his face. The room suddenly felt smaller as he stepped closer to her.
“Arrogant? Because I don’t share your opinion?” His voice now carried that sharp, cold tone he always used when he was hurt.
“No, arrogant because you look down at the world from your high horse. Up there, you forget what really matters down here.”
Bas moved even closer, leaning slightly over her. His hands braced on the desk, and his face was only inches from hers. “From up here, I have a damn good view,” he whispered, a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.
Evin felt her stomach twist. That arrogance—it almost made her explode.
But sh e couldn’t let him see how much he got under her skin.
Her voice trembled slightly as she said, “Maybe you just don’t care what’s happening down here.
Or maybe you’ve given up before you even tried to understand anything. ”
Bas’s eyes flickered briefly, as though she had touched something deep inside him. But instead of replying, he raised an eyebrow and said softly, “Maybe I just don’t care what’s going on down here. Or maybe I’ve learned you can’t waste your time on everything while you’re busy saving the world.”
Evin couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“At least I’m trying,” she retorted, locking her gaze onto his.
The classroom was slowly emptying. Only Jonas lingered nearby, enjoying the spectacle.
When Ben, the last to leave, finally stepped out, Evin decided to push further. “I’d rather waste my energy than…”
“...than what?” Bas interrupted her. “Than feel nothing, like me?”
Her heart raced, but she didn’t let it show. “Yes, than feel nothing—like you, exactly.”
He straightened up and looked her over once more. “Then good luck with that. Let’s see how far it gets you.” Was this even about the classroom debate anymore? “Ugh, guys, let’s just go…” Jonas groaned from the side.
Bas turned away from her, but the tension hung in the air. Evin felt her anger boil over, overwhelming her. Her hands clenched into fists, and she had the distinct feeling her words were falling on deaf ears.
Bas turned his head back toward her, his profile looking as if it had been sculpted from marble. A fleeting smirk crossed his face.
"Yeah, you fight," he said, voice almost lazy, but his eyes held that sharpness that always made her uneasy. "But for what? Useless causes? People who don’t even care? Maybe that’s why you always lose."
Evin’s jaw tightened. Always lose.
For a split second, she wasn’t sure if he was only talking about this argument—or something else entirely. The way his gaze lingered, the slight edge in his tone, it felt like more.
Was he talking about them?
Her fingers curled around the strap of her bag.
She wanted to ask, wanted to throw someth ing back at him, but she already knew how this would go.
He’d smirk, he’d pretend it didn’t mean anything, and she’d be left feeling like an idiot for even entertaining the thought.
The pain cut deep into her chest, like a knife.
Once again, he had managed to do it. She wanted to respond, but her throat felt suddenly dry.
Finally, she could only force out, “You know what? Screw you!” she hissed. Then she turned on her heel and stormed away, her steps quick and sharp, not looking back even once.
Did he mean to tell her that? That she endured his moods for nothing? That she wasted her energy on someone who would never change? He was right. He wouldn’t change. This clearly meant nothing to him.
Asshole.
The next day, Bas punished her with silent contempt. And the day after that. And for many more days to come.
Evin had to endure his cold shoulder. No words. No glances. Nothing.
Only when she wasn’t looking did Milka lean in and whisper softly in her ear, "He’s looking. Over and over again watching you"
Those words had to heal her wounds. Because as much as Bas was angry, he had also hurt her. And while part of her lived off those secret glances, she needed her anger just as much—to survive this, to ignore him.
It was the only thing keeping her afloat in this emotional drought. Weeks passed, and with summer break approaching, Evin suddenly started finding small notes at her desk.
"I miss you."
"I need you."
The handwriting looked like his, but Bas had never done anything like this before. So which idiot was trying to provoke her? What kind of game was this?
The next day, just before class started, Evin was rummaging through her bag for her school supplies when a pair of large, blue-and-white sneakers stopped beside her desk.
Nikes.
And she knew exactly who they belonged to.
Her fingers froze mid-motion , caught in the strap of her bag.
The air around her seemed to thicken, pressing against her lungs.
She didn’t need to look up—she could already feel it.
The presence she had trained herself to ignore for weeks was suddenly right there, standing so close she could see the faint scuff marks on his shoes.
Her body temperature spiraled out of control. A cold shiver ran down her spine, while heat spread through her stomach in a slow, burning wave.
Stay calm, she warned herself, gripping the edge of the desk. You have to pull yourself together.
The scent of his cologne mixed with the lingering traces of fresh air from outside, sending her mind into a tailspin. He hadn’t moved. Not a single word.
Why was he just standing there?
Seconds stretched painfully, and Evin forced herself to act like she hadn’t noticed him, like she wasn’t unraveling under the weight of his silent presence.
She reached into her bag again, her movements stiff, mechanical.
But it was pointless. The world had shrunk to the space between them, thick with unspoken tension. .
Slowly—too slowly—she exhaled, pressing her lips together.
And then, against her better judgment, she finally looked up.
Maybe he was here to talk to someone else—someone near her.
Slowly, Evin lifted her head and saw the person standing at her table, the one she had secretly hoped for.
The heat in her stomach had now twisted into nausea.
As her gaze traveled up to his face, she was greeted by a mischievous grin.
Instinctively, she responded with one of her deep, searching looks—the kind that always seemed to reach into his soul—accompanied by a hesitant smile.
Bas held her gaze, his teeth grazing his lower lip briefly, as if he were unconsciously biting it.
For a moment, it seemed as though something had flickered in his expression, something her eyes had triggered in him.
But he forced himself to remain composed, revealing nothing more.
His hand moved toward the table, and just as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone.
Evin’s eyes wandered to the spot he had touched, and that’s when she saw it. A note. Its color blended with the surface of the table, almost camouflaged, just like the ot her notes she had received before.
A tingling sensation spread through her stomach, crawling up her arms and even reaching her lips.
Her breath turned erratic, and a sudden wave of nausea hit her as her mouth filled with saliva.
She froze for a moment, unable to believe what she was seeing.
Never—not in a million years—had she expected this.
But she forced herself to stay calm. She skimmed the note, her hands trembling just slightly, before slipping it into her pencil case with the others, her face betraying nothing. As if it were the most natural thing in the world.
She couldn’t believe what was written there.
“I love you. ”