58. Chapter 53 #2
“Evin… no. No. That's not true. First: You're not broken.
To me, you're perfect. My perfect. Second: You're not worth any less.
I just never had the guts to stand up against my father or the stupid comments from my friends when we were younger, but that's over now. I told you before: fuck my world. And third: I can get angry at you quickly, but this would never be a reason.”
“But you are angry,” she whispered.
He couldn't lie. Not now. “Yes. I'm angry at myself. Angry that I was blind, that I didn't protect you. But not at you, Ev.”
Her eyes filled with tears, though she quickly blinked them away. Her hand closed tightly around the pendant, as if seeking strength.
“Bas, I don't want you to feel guilty. That doesn't help anyone. Especially not me.”
He took a deep breath, looking at her as she sat there—so strong yet vulnerable. “Then tell me what I can do. Tell me how I can show you I'm here for you. I want to understand what you need.”
She smiled weakly, a faint glow amid the darkness. “You're already doing it, Bas. Just giving me these moments every now and then is enough.”
He opened his mouth to reply, but she placed her hand over his, her touch gentle yet firm. “Thank you.” Before silence could fully settle, Evin asked him, “And what about you? What do you need from me? Because I don't know if you're okay knowing… that something like that happened to me.”
Bas sta red into her wide, doe-like eyes, startled by the question. He hesitated, unsure how honest he should be. He feared the pity he felt might never fade.
“Nothing, Birdie,” he finally answered. “Just stay exactly as you are.”
__________
Evin
T he look in his eyes was gentle yet filled with concern. She sensed what might come next but didn't want to hear it. Not now. Yet the silence between them grew too heavy to ignore.
“Have you ever thought about talking to someone? Professionally?”
Evin hesitated, turning the pendant slowly between her fingers. “Sebastian… I know you mean well, but I want to close this chapter. Not open it again.”
“Sometimes it helps to talk about things,” he replied softly.
She shook her head. For a moment, anger tried to rise inside her, but she quickly breathed it away.
Sarcastically, she shot back, “Then a lot of people should see a therapist...” But when she saw the expression on Bas’s face, she composed herself, replying more carefully, “The weight doesn't just disappear, Bas. And honestly? I’ve found my own ways to handle it.”
“How’s that?” His voice was gentle, but she could sense a quiet persistence beneath it.
“Dancing, for example,” she answered without hesitation. “Training, running—whatever keeps me moving. It helps clear my head. And do you know what's helped me most?” She paused, meeting his eyes directly. “New memories.”
“New memories ?” He sounded confused.
“Yes,” Evin confirmed. “I realized what helps most is creating as many new moments as possible. Good moments. Things that distract me, make me forget. And I want…” She stopped, biting her lower lip before continuing. “I want to do everything I can to overwrite every single detail of that night.”
His expression was hard to read—somewhere between agreement and quiet concern. “Evin, I understand you want to leave it behind, but pushing things away isn’t the same as dealing with them.”
“Maybe not,” she replied, sharper than intended, “but it works. I don't want to talk about it—not with a therapist, not with you. I just want it to be over.”
He tilted his head, watching her silently, before finally nodding. “Okay,” he said softly. “If that's your way of coping, then I’m with you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, more to herself than to him.
She took his hand, interlacing her fingers with his.
The touch felt warmer, more meaningful than usual.
“I don't want to see it as a part of me anymore. All I really want is for us to create memories that make me feel like I’m more than what happened to me.”
Bas gently squeezed her hand. “Okay, I get it. We'll do that. Together. Promise.”
Evin felt an odd sense of calm settle inside her—not because the problem had disappeared, but because she finally felt he understood her. At least enough to let her move forward—in her own way.
“And I'll make you a promise this time. If pushing it away doesn’t work, we'll come back to dealing with it.”
__________
Sebastia n
E vin leaned against Bas’s shoulder, the pendant still clasped in her hand, while the faint voices of the party echoed toward them from afar. The quiet between them felt comforting, yet the fatigue and lingering thoughts about the night made him restless.
“Bas... I don’t want to go back to the others,” she murmured softly but firmly.
He lifted his head to meet her gaze, nodding gently. “Honestly, I’m not in the mood either.”
“Would you drive me home?” She looked up, offering a tender yet resolute smile. “I have practice early tomorrow.”
“Then let’s go,” he answered, standing up and holding out his hand to her. “You know I'll come to your performance, right?” he added casually.
Evin froze for a split second. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh God… I wasn’t expecting that!” Her voice trembled slightly as she took his hand and let him pull her up. Clearly, his words had caught her off guard.
“You really thought I’d miss that?”
They walked hand in hand toward the exit, but as they reached Bas’s car, a familiar voice stopped them: “Leaving already?”
“We’re heading out,” Bas replied briefly, nodding toward Chris.
Evin stepped aside slightly, focusing her attention on Ben. The memory of the charity event flashed in her mind—Ben standing in the shadows, speaking to a woman. Who had she been? She hadn’t seen him again after that.
“By the way, where were you at the event?” she asked casually, though her eyes carefully monitored his reaction.
Ben blinked, apparently caught off guard by the question, quickly regaining his usual nonchalant stance. “Oh, here and there. Met a few people, you know. Networking and stuff.” He waved it off with a grin. “Nothing special.”
Evin held his g aze, trying to read between the lines, but Ben avoided her eyes, turning instead toward Bas. “See you tomorrow, right? Don’t oversleep, Montgomery.” He winked playfully.
Bas chuckled dryly. “Don’t worry about me.”
He parked the car by the curb, watching as she slowly unfastened her seatbelt. Every move she made was like a damn piece of art—deliberate, almost hypnotizing. Her eyes met his, big and filled with something unsaid.
When she stepped out, he walked around to meet her, accompanying her to the front door. Her steps were quiet, hesitant, almost careful as she pulled her keys from her pocket. Seeing her like this, fragile yet strong, ignited a burning sensation inside him.
He wanted to say it. The words rested on his tongue, hot like fire. I love you. But he stayed composed, pulling her gently into his arms and kissing her softly. Not demanding, not overwhelming. Just a goodbye kiss, as if that would be enough.
Bas stepped back, forcing himself to let her go. But it wasn’t enough.
Something surged through him, a burning, uncontrollable desire taking hold of his entire body. Before he knew it, he was back in front of her. With an athletic leap, he cleared the steps, grabbed her firmly, and pressed his lips onto hers without hesitation.
The kiss was wild, demanding, brimming with passion. He held her so tightly it felt like he wanted their bodies to merge. She responded instantly, igniting the fire inside him further.
With one arm, he effortlessly lifted her, pressing her against the door, his body flush against hers. Her fingers dug into his hair, her lips desperately seeking his as if she couldn't get enough.
He felt her melting into his arms, surrendering fully. This soft, submissive behavior sparked something dark inside him—a side he had kept hidden. He didn’t want to overwhelm her, not now. But the thought of her fully belonging to him drove him to the brink of madness.
“Damn it, Evin...” he whispered roughly against her lips, pulling her close once more before forcing himself back under control.
He gently lowered her, still keeping her close. Leaning toward her ear, his voice rough an d quiet, he murmured, “I love you.”
For a brief second, his eyes widened. His heart skipped a beat, a heavy thud in his chest, as if he’d just spoken something he himself hadn’t realized.
His eyes dropped, pulse quickening.
When had he begun losing control like this? And when had he started liking it?
Then, he lightly bit the tip of her nose. Not hard, just enough to make her feel the sting—tolerable, almost exciting.
She sharply inhaled, and he smirked. “Now go inside before I lose it, Birdie.”
Bas took a step back, still smiling as she stared at him, speechless. When she finally pushed the key into the lock, his heart felt simultaneously heavy and light.
__________
Evin
T he front door fell shut behind her, and she leaned against it for a moment, placing a hand on her chest as if trying to calm her wildly beating heart. Her cheeks burned, her breathing was heavy, and she could hardly believe what had just happened.
He had said it.
I love you.
Her knees felt like jelly, but she forced herself to run up the stairs, taking them two at a time, as though she had wings. As soon as she closed the door to her room behind her, she let herself collapse onto her bed.
A wide grin spread across her face, almost painful, and she kicked her legs in the air like an excited, giddy little girl. Her fingers dug into the blanket; she closed her eyes, rolled onto her side, then onto her stomach—unable to keep still.
He loves me. He actually said it.
She laughed quietly to herself, her fingertips tracing her lips, still tingling from his kiss.
His kiss had been hot and demanding, as though he'd wanted to devour her.
And then... that bite. She touched her nose, which still pulsed gently, and giggled.
The slight pain had been strangely pleasant—a small, intense reminder of that moment.
Everything about him was too much—his fire, his passion, his unpredictable nature. But that was exactly what made him who he was.
Evin sank back into the bed, pulling the covers over herself, her whole body still buzzing with excitement. She thought about the way he'd lifted her effortlessly, how their bodies had become one, even if only for that brief moment.
She had wanted to tell him that she loved him too. The words had been right there, but he had taken that opportunity away from her.
Maybe he was afraid of her response. Maybe he'd wanted to stay in control, like he always did. But it didn't matter. Because she knew she loved him—with everything she had.
A final smile stole onto her lips as she closed her eyes. Her heart felt heavy and light at the same time, like a balloon being pulled in every direction at once.
With that thought, her heart racing, and the tingling sensation still lingering at her fingertips, she fell asleep—happy, exhausted, and full of anticipation for everything yet to come.