Chapter Eight
Iris
Nikolai fucking Legum.
I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.
But there he was, riding on the horse ahead of me, sunlight catching on his red hair. And he was still just as maddeningly tall and broad as he had been a year ago.
As we rode, I kept my gaze locked on the center of his back, ignoring the weighty stares my friends kept sending my way.
They hadn’t stopped sneaking glances at me since I’d given them all a quick rundown of Nikolai and I’s history.
I had told them about the mission the Order had sent me on, how I’d magically disguised myself as Nikolai’s bride, and fled his estate after I killed my target.
I had purposefully left out the part of the story where I had fallen for him.
Not in love. At least, I don’t think I’d been in love with him.
Lust, yes. I most definitely lusted after Nikolai Legum. One only needed eyes to lust after him, though.
Actually, with a voice like his—all deep and sensual—you probably didn’t need eyes at all.
It probably had gone somewhat deeper than just sex, admittedly, although it certainly helped that the sex had been positively mind-blowing. So mind-blowing, in fact, that I had reminisced about it multiple times over the past year while I had been alone and frustrated in my bed.
And now there he was, only a few feet ahead of me, smirking at me over his shoulder every so often.
Fuck.
I shook my head as if the motion could clear my thoughts.
I needed to stay focused on the priorities at hand, none of which involved romance.
Or sex.
Definitely not sex.
I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about how defined his biceps look. I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about how easily he could lift me and throw me against a tree and…
Double fuck.
I’d barely been able to stop thinking about sex since he’d kissed me. He’d parted my lips and invaded me like no time had passed at all. He’d enveloped me in that woodsy scent of his and, by the Gods, I had melted right into him.
He’d left me in a puddle and then asked if I remembered the way home with that infuriating grin across his face.
Home.
He’d said it so casually.
As if I really were his wife, and it really was the home we shared. As if what happened between us last year hadn’t been an elaborate lie in which we’d both betrayed and manipulated each other.
I needed to avoid this entirely. Yes, the smart thing to do moving forward would be to just dodge him. I needed to remain focused on the war effort and my duty to protect Clay. Once we arrived, I would stay close to my cousin. That’s what I would focus on.
Not Nikolai.
Or the way his jawline looked now that he had turned to the rider to his left, giving a command I couldn’t quite hear. It truly was an impeccable jawline, carved by the Gods themselves.
It shouldn’t be possible for a man to look that attractive riding a horse, but…
Rankor’s sudden laughter forced me out of my daze, and I glared at him. “What?”
He shrugged, failing to hold back his smile. “Remember when you called Clay a heartsick boy?”
I groaned, refusing to admit the hypocrisy of that particular statement.
Besides, Clay’s situation was completely different.
Regardless of the divide that now existed between Thea and me, it was pointless to deny the pure, unchangeable love that existed between her and Clay.
They were being forced apart right now, but their coming back together was inevitable.
Theadora was Clay’s past, present, and future.
Nikolai, however, belonged only in my past.
He probably didn’t have any lingering affection for me anyway.
It had, after all, been an entire year since we’d parted ways. A year since he’d asked me to trust him and allowed me to leave enemy territory with my life. A shudder worked through me as I pictured that day.
I’d let go of my magic completely, in a way I’d never done with anyone else, and had allowed him to look upon my true form. I’d let him see the version of me covered in scars and mangled flesh and he hadn’t flinched or turned away from a single one.
Maybe you’re not used to people seeing the darkness in you. Maybe I was just the first person who saw it, accepted it, and joined you in it.
His eyes had held so much sincerity when he’d stared at me, saw me, and whispered those words.
But that was a year ago.
A lot could have changed since then. He could have taken these many months to realize how ridiculous our brief relationship had been. He might even hate me now.
Although it certainly hadn’t felt like he hated me when he’d kissed me and I’d felt that firmness pressed tightly against my belly.
“Gods, will someone talk to Iris and distract her?” Kent’s voice was a plea behind me, laced with pain. “I’m still too weak to block out her emotions, and she’s projecting a storm of them.”
My cheeks flamed, and I sent a burst of magic to hide the flush, keeping my gaze straight ahead even as I felt eyes turn towards me.
“Kent,” Elaina quietly murmured in warning.
He sighed, flashing me an apologetic grimace. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I lied, pretending to focus on adjusting my boot in the stirrup of my saddle.
It was, however, not fine.
Nikolai’s shoulders were shaking with swallowed-down laughter in front of me, and it was taking more magic than it should to hide the blush of my mortification from my cheeks and neck. No, it was not fine. Nothing about this was fine.
This property seemed ridiculously larger than in my memories—certainly large enough to support the small contingent we'd brought with us.
Towering spires and intricate stonework made the primary manor a fortress draped in elegance. It seemed like a miniature castle, larger even than Hyrax Manor, and looked practically unchanged since the last time I’d been here.
The dozen subsidiary cottages and homes that now surrounded it, though, were definitely new.
“Business has been good over the past year,” Nikolai commented in my direction as he threw one leg over his sand-colored steed and dismounted. “You could say the demise of the Serpent and Joliette allowed me to expand my enterprises.”
“I can see that,” I mumbled, scanning over the property, which had become somewhat of a self-contained town.
Nikolai made quick work of getting everyone settled as we made our way onto the front lawn.
He directed his men to take the women, children, and injured to several guest houses along the estate where they could rest. He directed our soldiers to the barracks behind the primary manor where his own army was housed—any that didn’t fit were instructed to pitch tents on the back lawn.
Clay passed his horse off to a general, asking him to ensure the animal was well-cared for and allowed to rest. I was just about to start questioning Clay’s next plan when Nikolai was suddenly upon me. Without sparing me more than a momentary glance, he took my hand and set off into the home.
I sent a fleeting, panicked look over my shoulder, but Clay, Kent, and Rankor looked more amused than anything else as they followed behind us.
Assholes.
Nikolai led us through the manor halls into the dining room, where he had conducted his business meetings the last time I’d been here.
I instantly recognized the high-backed chairs tucked into a recently polished dining table.
There were perhaps some new vases and oddities along the walls—signs that business had indeed been good for the smuggler in the past year.
He noticed my attention on a black opal crystal within a glass case and winked as he pulled out a chair and tugged me towards it.
The chair to his right.
I dug my heels into the ground, pulling my hand out of Nikolai’s and preparing for an argument.
Clay was the king. He should be seated at the head of the table, not Nikolai, and I should be at his right, not Nikolai’s.
But my cousin only sighed and shook his head, silently ordering me to accept the situation for now as he took the seat next to me.
Rankor and Kent found their seats too, as did Elaina and Camilla.
The latter avoided my glare as if she could catch a plague just by meeting my stare.
Nikolai clapped his hands and ordered for food to be brought to the table.
“Well, I can only assume you did not find the Book of the Gods,” Nikolai mused, rubbing a hand over his jaw. He was the picture of comfort, leaned back in his seat even as I tensed.
Nikolai spoke to my friends with far too much familiarity. How long exactly had Clay been working with him?
“Oh, we found it,” Camilla quipped sarcastically. The sound of her voice had me gripping my dinner knife, a motion that Nikolai seemed to note with a small smile.
“Pasnia already had it,” Clay explained in clipped words, his eyes flaring gold before settling back into their more common grey shade.
Nikolai nodded, twisting a fork within his fingertips. “And she is?”
“Dead.”
Nikolai inhaled deeply, his face not betraying a single thought that I knew was swirling in his mind.
“And your Goddess?” he asked Clay, lips pursed and eyes unblinking.
Clay flinched, the motion likely not noticeable to anyone else. Still, the gruffness of his voice betrayed far too much of his pain. “She is obviously not here.”
Nikolai’s servants brought in individual plates for all of us. Simple meals. A sliver of veal and steamed vegetables. Not that I minded after so many days of traveling. Anything was better than rabbit and squirrel at this point. Rankor even moaned when he bit into the meat.
“It’s good,” he said through a mouth full of food, lifting one shoulder in an easy shrug.
I watched him shovel another bite in as a cold shudder worked down my spine.
A year ago, I had sat in this very seat while Nikolai killed the man who had sat where Rankor now unabashedly inhaled his food. Nikolai had used his magic to drown the man all because he had insulted me.
No. Not me.
He had insulted Joliette, the woman I’d been pretending to be. Nikolai’s actual wife.