Chapter 9 #2
Reaching for the buttons, he brushed her hand.
She didn’t back away. Using all the restraint he could muster, Ryan gently set her soft hand back in her lap.
He wanted to cup it under his own, but she’d be horrified.
“Getting reception can be tricky up here. I have the buttons set.” He punched them until Christmas music filled the truck.
“I’ll never get tired of ‘Silent Night,’ ” she said wistfully.
“Probably because you don’t have one, not with these two clowns.” He glanced in the mirror. “And that means you two.”
“Hey, we’re being good.” Nathan seemed to give his younger brother a signal.
“Yep, we are,” Justin said. “I’m not even kicking the back of your seat with my boots.”
Ryan laughed. “Well, good.” No wonder Sarah looked so tired sometimes. Keeping up with these two was work.
When the music switched to “We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” Sarah leaned closer. “I met Mom’s librarian yesterday.”
“What did you think?”
“I liked him. He’s tall and attractive in a studious kind of way. And he seems to have a thing for my mom, that’s for sure.”
“Glad to hear it.” He really liked Lila Wilkins.
“Hey, what are you two talking about up there?” Nathan leaned forward until the seatbelt caught him.
“Why don't you and Justin count the signs along the road?” Ryan used to play that game with Jamie on road trips. “Justin, you count yellow signs and Nathan will count the white ones.”
“Do we get a prize?” Justin asked. Ryan should have seen that coming.
“Sure.” He caught Sarah's eyes and they smiled at each other.
“What's the prize going to be?” Always one for details, Nathan drilled down.
“Don't pester your uncle like that. Just play the game, okay?” Sarah looked flustered, as if she thought the boys were bothering him. They weren’t.
He liked having the little guys around. It was like having a piece of his brother back.
He pressed one boot to the accelerator. Yeah, it felt fine.
He’d tested it after he picked up his boot.
The truck became peaceful except for the boys counting. When they reached the theater, he quickly found a parking spot on the street.
“I always like this old theater,” Sarah said as they helped the boys from the truck. “Reminds me of when I was a kid. My folks would bring me up here.”
“Me too. The yellow bricks and the old red sign are from another time or place. I’m glad they didn’t tear it down, the way some towns have.”
They hurried across the street. Although Sarah protested, Ryan paid for the tickets. The warm smell of fresh popcorn filled the air and bright red signage lured them to the refreshment counter. “You two boys don't like popcorn, do you?”
Well, that caused a row. Sarah insisted that they share two bags and wanted to pay, but Ryan wasn’t having that.
He worked hard and saved well––a secret his brother had taught him.
“Save so you can spend on what you really want.” And this?
He liked the feeling of walking down the aisle with Sarah and the boys.
The theater was about half full, mostly with families.
“Let’s put the boys between us,” Sarah said when they came to an empty row.
“No,” Nathan said with that stubborn tilt to his chin. “You and Uncle Ryan sit in the middle. Right, Justin?” He looked to his brother for agreement.
“Right. I’ll sit next to Mom.”
The theater lights dimmed. “Enough.” Ryan nudged Nathan’s shoulder. They hustled into their seats.
During the previews, Ryan caught Nathan looking around them to catch Justin’s eye. Yeah, something was brewing. Were they playing matchmaker? It just felt good to be sitting here, passing the popcorn back and forth while they sipped sodas and laughed.
What would this Christmas be like if he didn't have Sarah and the kids? Once his mother had suggested that he consider moving to Chicago. “Get out of that podunk town,” was how she put it.
But what would he do in Chicago? Besides, he liked this podunk town. His mother had no time to be a grandmother. That had always been clear to Jamie. Usually she sent the boys a check for their birthdays. Ryan loved spending time with them.
As the Grinch schemed up on the screen, Ryan felt he was sitting just where he should be. Next to him, Sarah chuckled and ate popcorn. The seats felt small and he was tempted to stretch an arm around her shoulders. But she might freak out.
So he sat in silence, watching the screen, but not seeing it. Instead, his mind replayed rolling out the cookie dough with Sarah’s arms around him. He smiled, remembering squirting her with frosting.
All too soon the movie ended and the lights came on.
Helping the kids on with their coats and gathering the trash, he felt every bit like a father.
Sure, he wished Jamie could be here, enjoying his sons.
But sometimes life took a turn you never figured on.
What else could you do but deal with it? Ryan squared his shoulders.
But Sarah was more than a duty. Much more.
As he moved up the aisle, he let one hand fall on her shoulder. She fell back a bit as if for comfort, her soft curls brushing his chin. Very softly, he kissed the top of her head. She never even felt it.
Outside, it was getting dark. Sarah waved to some friends. Lindsay and Tanner had just gotten married. “Well, look who's here.” She gave Lindsay a big hug. Two little girls were with them and from what he remembered, the kids belong to Lindsay.
Sarah introduced him to Tanner and then kept babbling with her girlfriend. “So what’s next on your Sunday agenda?”
“We’re going home to decorate our tree,” Lindsay said. “Gotta run.” With a wave, the four of them broke off. Ryan, Sarah and the boys continued down the snowy street.
“Have you put up your tree?” he asked when they got to the truck. Ryan opened the back door and the boys climbed inside.
“No, I haven’t gotten our artificial tree up yet,” she whispered to him. “I still have to put it together.”
“A fake tree?” He was falling down on the job. “Well then, I guess next week we should get one. I know a guy with woods thick with real trees. You can’t celebrate Christmas without a tree, can you?”
“That’s wonderful, Ryan, if it’s no trouble.” She blinked up at him, her eyes turning green as any pine sprig.
“Trust me. You are no trouble.” Their eyes caught and held.
Then she dipped her head and climbed in. Unspoken words danced through his head as he circled to the other side.
Pulling away from the curb, Ryan thought he heard Nathan say to his brother, “See. It's working.”
The day had been special. The boys looked so happy as she helped them with their prayers and got them settled. That contentment carried her to bed.
“Oh, Jamie,” she said that night, his picture in her hand. “I know you’d want our boys to have days like today. This is just what you would do. And you’d be proud of Ryan. He’s turned into such a good man.”
But she couldn’t share everything that was in her heart.