47. Sean
47
SEAN
W hen we lay back down on the bed, naked and spent, Chloe turned to me.
She was flushed, breathless, and beautiful.
I smelled her everywhere, inhaling her intoxicating scent.
A totally new sense of longing overtook me.
To bury myself in her again.
Chloe rested her head on my shoulder in a simple, trusting movement, and I immediately pulled her closer.
No woman’s trust had ever meant as much to me as Chloe’s.
She was the first woman I truly cared about.
The only woman whose opinions—of me and my choices—mattered.
With every other woman I’d been with, I couldn’t care less about what they thought of me.
But Chloe had changed my hard heart, softened me, and brought all my walls down.
For the past few years, I’d been fooling around, dabbling in one-night stands and flings.
With Chloe, I was in danger of losing my heart.
I looked at her, her blonde hair spread out on the pillow beneath her, as she put her palm on my cheek.
“Sean, I know this is probably the last thing you want to talk about right now …”
I nuzzled her neck.
“Does it involve signing an NDA?” I asked.
She balked. “What? No.”
I grinned, running my fingertips along the length of her arm.
“I knew that would get you. All right, what is it?”
“You got this beautiful canopy for me. I’m so flattered. I mean, this just elevated the date to something special. Nobody has ever done anything to make me feel so special. I realize this might be common in your circle?—”
“It isn’t,” I said firmly.
We stared at each other.
I wanted her so much.
Night after night, exactly like this.
I wanted it so badly that I felt like I’d explode if I couldn’t have her again.
I pulled her into my arms and kissed her before saying, “In fact, I’ve never done this for any other woman, Chloe. I’ve never had the desire to do anything like this for another woman. This is a first for me too.”
She looked me in the eye as I said that, and when she spoke, she said, “I love knowing that. Because it’s different for me too. Of course, I feel passion and heady and pure, unadulterated lust for you. But when I’m with you, it feels like it’s the first time I’ve ever been truly intimate with someone.”
I groaned and captured her mouth in mine in a ravenous kiss.
Her words nearly drove me mad.
Add that to how I loved her voice, her smell, her taste, and I wanted to take her deeply.
To fuck her hard and to feel her clench around my cock again.
Because I couldn’t process all the emotions that were sweeping through me anymore.
We were coming up close to the end of her work assignment for me.
I didn’t want to think about the time I’d walk into work and not find her there.
Waiting for me with my coffee and her special smile.
That thought made me feel a strange sort of ache in my rib cage.
I was feeling hot and restless, so I kissed her long and hard, turning over so I was on top of her.
In a moment, we were rocking into each other in perfect rhythm.
She was so tender and so sweet that I felt a storm of emotions flood my veins.
Something in me had unraveled.
My cold heart had finally cracked.
I felt my heart pumping wildly, beating for her.
Chloe rocked her hips with my rhythm, her blue eyes watching me as her breathing picked up.
Did she know what she had done to me?
I fucked her slowly, sensually, enjoying every moment of being in her and the way she reached for me as her climax neared.
She lifted her arms, cupping my face as she rose to meet my lips.
We kissed while both of us came apart, exploding into a beautiful, sweet release.
Sleep was heavy, and my eyelids fell shut briefly as we dozed off in each other’s arms.
Hours later, in between moments of fistful slumber, her phone rang through the quiet night.
She got up, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around her, before she answered it.
As she spoke gently into the phone, I traced my fingers around her shoulder blades.
I frowned when I saw an old bruise on her left shoulder, hoping that I wouldn’t see any more bruises now that she had a better bed.
And in a minute, Chloe hung up and turned back to me, disappointment written on her face.
“What is it?” I asked, hoping the answer wouldn’t be what I was afraid it was.
She hesitated.
I reached for her waist, wrapping my hand around her and pulling her closer.
Her hand went to caress the soft blanket, and she spoke thoughtfully.
“Henry fell off his wheelchair,” she said.
“He was trying to reach something on the kitchen shelf when he fell.” She cursed under her breath.
“If only I’d kept it accessible.”
I pressed a kiss to her bare upper arm.
“Do you have to go? Isn’t there a neighbor who could help?”
“Greg—a neighbor—did help. He was out pulling back the trash bins when he heard the shelf fall and rushed over to help. It was Greg on the phone now, too, letting me know what happened. He said Henry was shaken and was wondering when I’d be back. That shelf has been unsteady for a while now, and it’s my fault for not having noticed it earlier.”
Damn.
Her place seemed to be falling apart.
I would make sure she got out of there soon.
I’d also requested an exquisite breakfast to be delivered here in the morning.
A table and chairs were to be set up on the eastern side, and I’d wanted us to have breakfast with the sunrise.
The look on her face was one of regret.
“I’m sorry, but can we go back to New York now, please?” she whispered, placing a kiss on my lips and getting up.
“I need to get home.”
I nodded even though what I was feeling had nothing to do with being agreeable.
“I’ll take you home,” I said, reaching for my clothes.
“It’s okay.”
My hand was on the small of her back as we made our way down the elevator, and even though I tried to avoid it, our moods were subdued.
I suspected Bruce had left her for the same reason—her role as a caretaker meant she had less to give as a girlfriend.
But I hated that I was so conflicted about Chloe’s role of being a caretaker.
She had no other option, but I wanted more from her and was upset she couldn’t give it to me.
It felt ridiculous to know she couldn’t help something and simultaneously feel frustrated with her for it.
“If Greg helped Henry back on his wheelchair, why do you need to go?” I asked finally, unable to keep the questions off my tongue.
I didn’t want to seem irritable at Chloe, but I also needed answers.
Was there something I was not getting?
She bit her lip. “Henry’s rattled. I’d hate myself if I wasn’t there for him right now,” she admitted finally, and I stared at her in amazement.
“Why?” I asked as the elevator doors opened in the lobby and we got out.
“I want Henry to know that I’m always there for him. That I’ll never leave him like our dad did.”
Scenes flashed back into my mind.
Her at the café, in her wedding dress, getting dumped over the phone.
“Was that your brother on the phone during your wedding day?” I asked, my voice giving away my utter disbelief.
“Was he why you rescheduled your wedding?”
Her gaze stayed on my face, and I could see the vulnerability on hers.
“Yes,” she said at last.
Fuck.
This added a whole new dimension to my understanding of Chloe’s need to be Henry’s caretaker.
She didn’t just need to be around him all the time; she had decided to not have a life of her own too.
“This is crazy,” I said, running my fingers through my hair as we walked out the main doors and into the night, where my car was waiting.
“Why are you doing this? I bet Henry doesn’t want you to give up your night for him when he’s fine. Why don’t you give yourself permission to just have fun? To live your life like you should?”
A look of frustration crossed her face as she paused on the steps.
“Sean, we can’t go there tonight. There simply isn’t time to discuss this. Besides, you said it yourself. We wouldn’t be serious. We’re temporary. What’s the need to stay out all night when it’s going to end anyway?”
Her questions silenced me.
What had I expected, honestly?
That one night would change the way she felt about us?
I was just her boss—someone she hooked up with.
And this night meant absolutely nothing more to her.
Even if I felt angry, unhappy, and frustrated about parting with her, even if I brought myself to admit that this hurt, I needed to be sane about this: Chloe wasn’t in love with me.
We were nothing more than no-strings-attached sex.
Nothing about us showed signs of us being a couple in the future.
Her brother would always be the most important thing to her.
Even if I could start to admit to myself that the mad feeling I felt was something closer to love.
Shaking my head in disappointment, I held open the door to my car.
Chloe got in, and I followed, still shocked.
As the car began to move, I turned to her, wishing I could hold her hand in mine and pull her closer.
She looked out the window, her chin up and her eyes away from me.
She didn’t want me to argue with her, and I knew I couldn’t push it.
But I had one last question for her.
“Did you tell Henry that you were out with me tonight? Your boss, Sean, and not Will?”
She turned to me slowly, and I could see the answer in her eyes, even before she shook her head.
Damn.
I’d thought I was the one who had trouble with commitment, the one who had trouble giving time to my partner.
I hadn’t realized Chloe would be worse.