22. Maria
It seems too crazy to be true. I came to Montauk to forget about Nathan, but as if by some cruel twist of fate, here he is — sitting right next to me.
His presence sends an electric jolt through my body, making my heart race and my palms sweat. A lot has happened in the last few days. I’ve made a lot of decisions and put my life on a new track, and I’ve actually been feeling good about it.
Now I wonder if he’s about to derail all of that.
“Nice morning.” He says it so casually, as if we’re just two old friends bumping into each other on the beach. His voice is like a balm and a burn all at once.
“Yeah.” I sound so chill as well, but I’m acutely aware of the tension that hangs heavy between us.
I lick my lips, trying not to dwell on the question that has been consuming me for weeks: how am I going to tell him? The secret growing inside me is impossible to ignore now, but I’m not ready to face the consequences.
“Montauk really is something special.” He shifts his weight in the sand, leaning back on his hands. “I can see why you love it here.”
That’s what he’s choosing to say? With no explanation of what he’s doing in town, right down the street from the cabin we hid away from the world in?
“Why are you here?” I whisper.
His gaze falls to the sand. “I needed to get out of the city.”
So he chose my neighborhood?
He looks up at me, eyes squinting. “I’ve been thinking about you, Maria. A lot.”
My breath catches in my throat. I would be lying if I said anything other than that he’s on my mind every minute of every day, but truth just for truth’s sake doesn’t make sense. Not here, not now.
This man shattered my heart into a million pieces.
Or maybe I did that all on my own. I knew who he was, what he was like. He said some sweet words that, for a while, made him seem different, but in the end those musings didn’t count.
“How are you?” he asks.
I look down at my hands. “It’s complicated.”
His inhale is sharp. “I understand.”
I eye him. Does he?
I want to hear more, but I don’t want to get into it out here on the beach. I only came down here for a few minutes to get some fresh air, and I’m starving. If I don’t eat something soon, then morning sickness will get the better of me again and I’ll be vomiting all over the beach.
“How about some breakfast?” I suggest.
His eyelashes flutter. “I’d like that. Thank you.”
I nod, and, without a word, we stand.
The sun lingers just above the horizon as we walk towards the cabin, casting a warm pink glow over the sand. The salty air fills my lungs, and I try to focus on the beauty around me instead of the knot forming in my stomach.
Taking my keys from my pocket, I unlock the door and lead him inside. The familiar scent of the cabin envelops me, bringing back memories of our time together.
“I hope eggs and bacon are good.” I head for the kitchen, already knowing he likes them. In fact, if I’m being honest with myself, that’s part of the reason I’ve been eating them each morning all week long.
My hands shake slightly as I crack eggs into a pan and toss bacon on the griddle. I need something to busy myself with, but I can feel Nathan’s gaze on me, his presence heavy in the room.
We don’t say anything, but he sets about brewing coffee, his movements so familiar it’s like he never left. It’s like he belongs here, with me, doing this normal but so special task of making a meal.
We work in silence, the only sounds in the room the sizzling of the bacon and the percolating of the coffee. It’s strangely comforting, this wordless dance between us, but it’s also a painful reminder of what we once had.
Nathan places two steaming mugs of coffee on the table as I bring over plates of eggs and bacon. We sit down across from each other, and for a moment, everything feels peaceful.
But it’s not, and I know I can’t avoid the conversation forever.
“So, how’s work?” I casually take a sip of my juice, avoiding the coffee. I haven’t had a stomach for it ever since the first-trimester symptoms kicked in.
“Busy, as always.” He doesn’t make a move to eat his breakfast. “We closed the deal on that new building. Remember — the one I was working on before… before everything happened?”
“Right,” I say, trying to sound interested. “You must be happy about that.”
Inside, I’m seething. It’s clear he values his job above all else, even me. My pride keeps me from saying anything, though.
And what should I expect? It would be entitled of me to demand he give me anything outside of his character. I can’t change anyone, and I don’t have the right to ask them to change for me. That’s where I went wrong with him.
“Of course,” he says, but there’s a hesitation in his voice that makes me look up at him. He seems almost… sad. “It’s what I’ve been working towards for so long, after all.”
We eat in silence for a few moments, the tension between us palpable. I pick at my eggs, my appetite suddenly gone. All I can think about is the secret I’m carrying, and how it’s going to change everything between us.
“Maria.” His voice is soft, uncertain. “I know things haven’t been easy between us lately, but I want you to know that…” He trails off, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue. But instead, he just shakes his head and takes another bite of his breakfast. “Never mind,” he mumbles around a mouthful of bacon. “It’s not important.”
“Okay,” I say, feeling both relieved and disappointed. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to tell him after all. But when would it ever be?
“What’s next?” I ask. “With work?”
“There are… things.” He squints at the wall next to my head. “There was a party to celebrate the new deal last night. It was big, you know, music and laughter everywhere.”
I nod, trying to picture him among the crowd, champagne in hand, surrounded by people he probably didn’t even care about.
“But it felt empty.” His eyes lock onto mine, and my heart races. “I couldn’t help but think of you, and how I found out you’d quit the office. At first, I was shocked, but then… it made sense. Life has felt empty lately, Maria.”
I swallow against a lump in my throat, my chest filled with a mixture of fear, apprehension, and longing.
“I need to apologize for pushing you away before.” He reaches across the table to take my hand, and I let him, my stomach knotting with anticipation. “You’ve shown me what really matters. Closing that deal should have been the pinnacle of my career, but instead, it left me feeling… nothing. I miss you. I need you in my life.”
My breath catches, and I squeeze his hand in return, the emotions flooding through me almost too intense to bear.
“I’m going to take some time off.” He strokes my hand. “Slow down a little. And I’d love it if you’d join me — not as my employee, but as my partner.”
The shock of his words leaves me speechless, my mind racing to process everything he’s just said. Is this really happening? Could it be true?
“Maria?” he prompts gently, noting my silence. “I don’t need an answer just yet. You can take your time thinking about what I’ve said… or you can choose to never speak to me again. But I had to tell you how I feel.”
His hand slips from mine, and he gets up from the table. But I can’t stand the thought of him leaving. Not when there’s so much still unsaid between us.
“Wait,” I blurt out, my voice barely above a whisper. “Before you go, let me show you the renovations I’ve been working on.”
A flicker of surprise crosses his face, but he nods. As we walk through the living room and bathroom, I point out the changes I’ve made and the plans I have for the future. The whole time, I’m acutely aware of Nathan’s presence beside me. Every brush of our shoulders, every shared smile feels like it’s brimming with possibility.
He wants to be with me! I could nearly sing at the prospect. Except…
What will he think when he finds out about the baby? Will he still want me — us — in his life? Or will he go running for the hills?
And as we stand in front of the second bedroom, the weight of my secret heavy on my chest, I know that I can’t keep it from him any longer. But first, I need to know if what he said is true. If we really do have a chance at a future together.
“Wait.” I put my hand on the doorknob, stopping him from opening the door.
His brow furrows. “What’s going on?”
“Everything’s changed, Nathan.” My voice shakes. “And I need to know… are you really ready for this? For us?”
He looks into my eyes, and I see the truth there — the love, the hope, and the fear. And I realize that, for the first time in my life, I’m willing to take a leap of faith. To risk my heart for something that might just be worth it.
“More than you know,” he says, and I know we’re both thinking the same thing.
It’s time for our story to begin.
“So.” He cocks his head at the door. “What’s in here?”
Curiosity gets the better of him, and he pushes the door open, revealing the brand-new crib that sits in the corner of the room.
“Maria…” he trails off, his eyes wide as he takes in the sight before him.
My pulse quickens, and my palms grow clammy. This isn’t how I planned to tell him, but maybe it’s for the best. The truth is out in the open now, and it’s a weight lifted from my shoulders. But there’s still so much to say, and I’m not quite sure where to begin.
“Maria, why is there a crib?”
I open my mouth to answer, but the words won’t come. My breath catches in my throat, and I can feel the pounding of my heart. “Um, well, I’m planning on moving into the cabin,” I start, trying to gather my thoughts. “I’m leaving my job in New York and opening a comic-book, anime, and art supplies store in Montauk. You know, thanks to the check you gave me.”
I pause for a moment before taking a deep breath. “And, well… the cabin should be renovated just in time for me to welcome my… our baby.”
“Our baby?” he repeats, surprise crossing his features. He looks at me intently, searching for answers as the news sinks in.
“Yes.” My voice trembles ever so slightly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I was waiting for the right time. I was worried about what you’d say.”
“Maria, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he presses, concern etching his face.
“Because…” I sigh, hesitating. It’s difficult to confess my fears, even now. “Because you didn’t want me in your life, Nathan. I thought you might not want our child either.” My eyes drop, focusing on the worn wooden floor beneath my feet.
He reaches out and gently lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze once more. His eyes are filled with a mix of emotions — surprise, worry, and something else I can’t quite decipher.
As I look into his eyes, I see the sincerity shining through, and I can’t help but feel a flicker of hope ignite within me. Maybe, just maybe, things will work out for us after all.
But then Nathan’s eyes fill with a sadness I’ve never seen before. He gently cradles my face in his strong hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Maria, this news… it thrills me,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Really?” I ask, barely able to believe it.
“Really,” he confirms. “I never thought I wanted this, but becoming closer to you has changed me. I’m so excited to be a father and a partner to you. If you’ll have me.”
I let out a laugh. “Yes, there’s nothing that I want more.”
“Really?” His face lights up brighter than a kid’s on Christmas morning.
“Really, really.” I shuffle closer than him, my happiness spreading through my every cell.
His eyes lock onto mine, unwavering. “I’m all in, whatever challenges await. You’re what I want. This family is what I want.”
Nathan pulls me into an embrace that feels like coming home, and my heart threatens to burst from the love that fills every corner of it. Our lips meet, and the kiss is gentle, almost reverent. In this moment, I can’t help but feel as though my fairy-tale ending is finally coming true.
As we part, Nathan’s hand lingers on my cheek, his thumb brushing away the happy tear that escapes my eye. “I love you, Maria. More than you could ever know.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
We stand still, locked in our embrace, the weight of our newfound happiness settling upon us. The world around us seems to fade away, leaving only the two of us and the love that binds us together. Nathan’s touch, so gentle yet possessive, makes my skin tingle with anticipation.
This is it. The fantasy I wished would one day come true.
We’ve been through hell and back, and the journey has been filled with fear, hope, excitement, and love. Through it all, I’ve found faith and lost it. Now, finally, it feels that perhaps I’m hanging on to it for good.
As Nathan’s lips find mine, it seems fitting that our newest step should happen here, in the cabin where it all began. In the embrace that feels like a promise of a bright future.
In the love that was always meant to be.