11. Leah
CHAPTER 11
LEAH
“ R eady for this?” Dan gave Leah a measuring look. They were standing outside the fertility clinic, about to go inside. Leah took a deep breath and nodded.
“Let’s go.” Together, they stepped inside, Dan holding the door open for her. She smiled her thanks at him.
It meant a lot that Dan was accompanying her to this appointment — and that he’d agreed to spend as much time as possible with their child. Leah liked the idea that Dan would be involved. She knew her baby’s life would be enriched by an involved father’s presence.
Yet she also knew that it was going to be hard. She’d just agreed to be close to Dan, without actually dating him, for the rest of their lives. It was going to be incredibly difficult to co-parent with him and share intimate moments with him — without relying on him. Leah knew Dan was dedicated to his job, first and foremost. And she knew he would probably date, even fall in love, eventually. Just not with her.
She shook her head to clear it. You’re getting ahead of yourself, Adams. This was a huge day for Leah, one of the first steps towards becoming a mother. She couldn’t let herself be distracted by anything else.
She checked in at the reception, then took a seat beside Dan in the waiting room located at the side of the lobby. This time, there was one single woman flipping through a magazine. Leah gave her a friendly smile. She knew how difficult it was to be here alone.
This time, they didn’t have long to wait. After only a few minutes, a nurse called them back. As before, Moira stood up from behind her desk and came to shake their hands.
“Nice to see you two again. Please, have a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’m all right,” Leah said.
Dan nodded. “Me too.”
“Wonderful. Let’s dive right in, then. I spent some time over the last week reviewing your file, and I’m happy to say that no red flags jumped out. What we’ll need today is a basic physical and a few tests to make sure you’re in good health. If that’s all clear, we’ll get started straight away.”
Once again, Moira went over a bit of the medical process, but Leah found herself tuning it out. She was very familiar with fertility and didn’t need much review. Plus, she was far too excited and nervous to focus on anything.
“Finally, I realized that I didn’t ask about birth control last time. My apologies; that was an oversight. Are you on any birth control at the moment?”
Leah shook her head. “No, nothing. But I am taking a drug called Forenal, which is meant to improve chances of conceiving.”
“I’ve heard of that from a colleague.” Moira tilted her head. “Who prescribed it?”
“Um, I did. I was the lead researcher on the team that developed it. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it last time.”
“No worries. You’re the scientist behind Forenal?” Moira nodded slowly. “I’m impressed. I’ve heard that it’s shown great results in clinical trials. And now you’re here. I’m looking forward to working with you on this. Although you must know everything there is to know about Forenal, I’ll take a little time to read up on it myself so that I know what we’re working with.”
“I can send you some information if it would be helpful.”
“Yes, please. Anyway, back to my original question. You mentioned that you aren’t on any kind of birth control. Is that right?”
Leah shook her head.
“Okay. So, the first thing we’ll have you do is start on birth control.” Moira turned to Dan. “I know, it might seem a little counterproductive to take birth control when you’re trying to get pregnant, but, as I’m sure Leah knows, the first step is to make sure the menstrual cycle is regular and predictable. That way, we can ensure the optimal time for implantation.”
“I’m happy to take birth control, but I shouldn’t need it. I’ve always been as regular as clockwork.” Leah felt embarrassed to be discussing all this in front of Dan, but she was a scientist, and they were having a baby together. She wasn’t going to be too bashful to discuss her own body.
“When was the first day of your last period?”
“Let me see. If it’s the seventeenth now…” Leah counted back. Her period was every twenty-seven days, without fail, except for a few occasions when she’d been very sick or stressed. Yet this time… Leah checked, then double-checked to be sure. No, it was true. “Um. I think my last period was about six weeks ago.”
Leah glanced at Dan. Did he know the significance of this? From his wide eyes, she was pretty sure he did. They’d spent the night together at the conference around a month ago. The timing lined up. But surely she couldn’t be pregnant after they’d spent just one night together. It was possible, but so unlikely that it belied belief, especially after all the struggle her parents had gone through.
“Well, the two of you are in the right place.” Moira gave them a kind smile. “I know what you’re thinking, but keep in mind that there can be lots of reasons for a late or missed period. Stress, illness; even changing climate or lots of exercise can delay a period. I will draw a blood test, though, so that we can know for sure.”
Leah nodded, but she already knew what the results of the blood test would say. She’d been as regular as clockwork since she was a teenager, and all the numbers lined up. She was certain that she was already pregnant, as impossible as that felt after just one night together.
“Are you all right?” Dan laid a hand on her arm. Leah nodded again.
“Yes, of course. I’m… hopeful. I just want to wait to see what the blood test says before I react.”
“That makes sense.” Moira smiled kindly. “Let me grab a tech so we can get that blood drawn. Just a moment.”
She got to her feet and left Dan and Leah alone in her office. They turned to each other.
“How are you feeling?” Leah asked.
“I’m cautiously optimistic.” Dan glanced at her, and they both grinned at his formal phrasing. “I mean, if you really are pregnant… wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
Wouldn’t that be wonderful. Of course it would. Leah wanted to be pregnant so much, even if this was going faster than she’d expected. But this all seemed a little too good to be true. She rested one hand on her stomach. She didn’t feel any different. Yet, that quiet part of her was still sure, completely sure, that she was pregnant.
“It would be.” Leah took a deep breath. “But let’s just pretend like everything is normal until the test results come in.”
As if on cue, a young man in scrubs knocked on the frame of the slightly open door.
“Come in,” Dan said.
“Hey. I’m Larry, and I’ll be drawing some blood today. Do you have any issue with needles?”
Leah made a face. “They aren’t my favorite, but I’ll be okay. Where should I sit?”
“Over here.” Sure enough, there was a phlebotomy chair in the corner. Leah got up and changed her seat. Larry swung the arm closed.
“Which is your dominant hand?”
“Right.”
“Okay.” He moved to her right side and swabbed an area in her inner elbow. Then he turned away to prepare the needle and vials. Leah caught Dan’s gaze and they looked at each other for a long moment. This felt like something huge. “Here we go. Ready?”
Leah nodded, and Larry carefully inserted the needle into one of her veins. She winced, then winced again when he withdrew the needle.
“Sorry, I didn’t find the vein on the first try. Hold on.”
Leah was good with discomfort, but she didn’t love the idea of Larry rooting around her arm with a sharp needle looking for blood. Dan must have sensed her unease, because he was by her side in an instant. He took her free hand in his.
“Hey.”
Leah turned away from the needle and met his gaze. Those gray-blue eyes drew her in, as always, and Leah found herself distracted from the blood draw already. “Hey.”
“So, have you thought about names?”
“Names?”
“Baby names. You know, just in case this turns out to be positive.”
Leah chuckled. “I mean, sure. I’ve had a list of potential names since I was a little girl.”
“Let’s hear them.”
“Well, for a boy, I always liked Thomas or Patrick. For a girl, maybe Elizabeth or Lily. Or Kaitlyn.”
“It sounds like you prefer old-fashioned names.”
“Well, some names are classic for a reason. Do you have any thoughts on names?”
“Hmm. I’ve never really thought about it. But I suppose I like the classics, too. And I like Miles for a boy.”
“Miles.” Leah smiled. “That’s nice. How about Lydia?”
“I like it. But you should be in charge of names. You’re really kind to let me be involved, but this is your baby, first and foremost.”
Leah knew that Dan was trying to be considerate, but his words hit her in the heart like a stone. For a moment, she’d felt like they were any other couple choosing a name for their beloved baby on the way. Dan’s words were a reminder that their situation was very far from normal and that they weren’t really equal partners.
She was on her own.
“All done.” Larry held up three small vials of blood. “Good distraction, Dad.”
Dan blinked, and Leah saw that he was as struck by the name as she was. He recovered quickly, though.
“Just trying to do my part.”
“I’ll get these off for testing right away.”
“Thanks.”
Larry bid them a quick goodbye and left with the vials. A moment later, Moira returned.
“Well, I had certain plans for today, but it might be best to put them on hold until the test comes back. You two can head home. I’ll have the lab text you the results, probably sometime later this evening, although it could be tomorrow morning. Try to put it out of your minds as much as you can.”
Leah and Dan exchanged a glance, and Moira chuckled.
“I know that’s easier said than done.”
“Just a little,” Dan joked.
“After we get the results, I’ll contact you with next steps — either proceeding with assisted conception as we’d planned or switching you over to pregnancy care.”
“Thank you, Moira.” They said their goodbyes and left. As they got in the car, both were silent. Then Dan turned to Leah.
“Do you still want to come over to my house? We can order some food and try to keep our minds off the results, like Moira suggested.”
“That sounds good.” Leah sighed. “I just wish we could know right now. I feel like there’s no other explanation for the missed period, but it also seems silly to assume that I’m pregnant after just one night together.”
“You are taking Forenal, though. I wouldn’t be surprised if that boosted our chances a lot. Was the timing of our night together…”
“Yes. It would add up.” Leah sighed again. “But let’s try not to think about it.”
“Aye, aye.” Dan turned on the radio to a pop song and navigated them out of the parking lot. “You’ll like my apartment.”
“Will I? I’m expecting a bachelor pad.”
“You wound me.”
Yet, when they reached his apartment, it was exactly a bachelor pad. They took the elevator up to Dan’s floor, where the elevator doors opened directly into his living room.
“Wait a minute. Is this whole floor yours?”
“Yep.” Dan stepped out of the elevator. “Follow me.”
They walked from the living room through the house in a quick tour. Leah saw room after room with the same décor. The walls were painted an off-white and the furniture was mostly steel and glass. It was the least homey place Leah had ever seen and she said as much.
“Hey!” Dan turned to her, mock-offended. “It’s very homey.”
“Your only piece of decoration is this black-and-white picture of a bridge. All your furniture is black leather. The only colorful thing I see in here is my dress. And you’re telling me this is homey?”
“Come on. How much better is your apartment?”
“Much better. I have pictures on the walls of my friends and family. I have rugs. I have pillows. My couch is soft and comfortable.” Leah raised her eyebrows. “Is there really any competition?”
“I’m a busy guy living by myself.” Dan looked around. “It would look weird if this place was full of fluffy pillows.”
“Maybe. But you could at least get a nicer couch.” Leah sat on the couch to demonstrate and it gave a loud squeak. “Do you even sit here?”
“Not really,” Dan admitted. “I’m usually in my home office when I’m here.”
“Home office? I have to see this.”
“Follow me.” Dan led her through a sparkling gray-and-white kitchen and down a short hallway. Leah caught a glimpse of his bedroom, which had a neatly made bed and not much else, and quickly looked away.
Dan’s home office was better than the rest of the house, if only because it looked more real. There was a large desk with a monitor screen, a pile of papers, and a comfortable-looking chair on wheels. Leah sat in it and propelled herself across the floor, which made Dan laugh.
“What do you think?”
“This is better. I believe that a human works here. But don’t you think it’s a little concerning that your most lived-in room in your home is the one that’s basically a carbon copy of your office at work?”
“Nope. I’m not concerned.” Dan perched on the edge of his desk. “I like my work. I’m not ashamed of that.”
“I like my work,” Leah said. “You must love yours.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“Sorry.” Leah stood and stretched. “I’ll stop. What shall we do now?”
Dan’s face took on a shifty expression. “I was thinking I could quickly check my emails while you get comfortable…”
Leah was torn between laughing and scolding him. She settled for rolling her eyes.
“Fine, fine. Just let me know where I can sit on something that doesn’t squeak or stick to my legs while I wait.”
“How about the couch in here?”
The couch in question was dark gray, but at least it was covered with fabric, not leather. Leah sat on it and tucked her legs beneath her out of habit. Then she took out her phone.
“Okay, work away. I’ll be here.”
“Thanks. I just feel bad since I left early…”
“I know, I know.” Leah opened her social media feed. She spent a while scrolling through her friends’ posts, but it was distracting. At this age, it seemed like everyone she knew was getting engaged, posting wedding photos, getting pregnant, giving birth, and playing with their children. Every picture reminded Leah of the potential pregnancy.
Despite her excitement and hope at the idea she might be pregnant, a small part of her felt sad. This wasn’t how she’d imagined having a baby. She’d always wanted a real partner by her side, someone like Dan. But his insistence on working today just underscored the fact that he would never be a real partner for her.
Yet something gave Leah hope. The fact that this baby had been conceived during her and Dan’s night of tenderness and passion felt meaningful. As did the fact that Dan was attending every appointment and seemed just as excited and involved as she was. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t out of the question for him to be a real partner after all.
You’re getting ahead of yourself, Adams. Even if Dan wanted to be a real partner, Leah wasn’t sure he was capable of it. His work clearly took first priority.
“Leah?”
She was startled out of her reverie by Dan, who was standing in front of her looking sheepish. A glance at her phone showed that he’d been working for less than ten minutes.
“Sorry. It felt important that I check on work, but almost as soon as I sat down, I realized that nothing is more important than the message we’re waiting for. I want to spend this time with you.”
Leah’s heart warmed so much that she pressed a hand to it. She felt almost teary, which wasn’t usual for her at all. Maybe it was possible for Dan to prioritize something, or someone, over his work. Maybe that someone could be her. And their baby. Maybe…
“Thanks, Dan. That means a lot.”
“So, what would you like to do? We can pick out what dinner we want to order, watch a movie, go for a walk…”
“I’m thinking about the walk.” Leah’s phone dinged, and a thrill of anticipation went through her. This probably wasn’t the message already, but she still felt excited. And nervous. “Let me check that.”
Her heart almost stopped when she saw the message.
“Oh, my gosh. This is it.”
Dan was by her side on the couch in an instant. “What does it say?”
“It’s just a link and a passcode to check my results on the doctor’s secure website. Give me a moment.” Her hands were shaking as she clicked the link and typed her name and the passcode into the site. It seemed to load forever. Finally, the lab results popped up.
Leah scrolled past her name, date of birth, and personal information. At the very bottom was the word she’d been looking for.
Pregnancy: Positive.
“Dan.” Leah’s hand went to her mouth. “Look.”
“Oh, wow. Leah.” Dan’s voice was filled with awe. “You’re pregnant. You’re really pregnant.”
“I am.” Leah glanced down at her stomach, which was as flat as ever. “I’m pregnant.”
“Congratulations!”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it!” Dan got to his feet and pulled her up. He spun her around once, then pulled her into a hug. “You’re pregnant!”
Leah was still in disbelief. As much as she’d been sure that the test would be positive, actually seeing the result was something completely different. The feeling of Dan’s arms around her was the only thing keeping her grounded. Otherwise, she might have lifted off the ground and into the air.
“I’m pregnant!”
“You’re pregnant!” They pulled back, caught each other’s eyes, and began to laugh. Leah felt almost giddy. She was pregnant. Finally! She’d dreamed of this moment for years, and it was finally here. She was less than nine months away from meeting the most important person in her life. And the fact that Dan was here, smiling at her, made it even better.
Leah didn’t know what the next months would hold. She didn’t know how Dan would react to each milestone or how involved he’d be once the baby was born. She didn’t know if their plan to help him inherit RMA would work.
But she did know one thing. One perfect, wonderful thing.
She was going to have a baby. Dan’s baby.