10. Dan
CHAPTER 10
DAN
D an wanted badly to sleep in on Saturday morning, but when he received a call from his mother asking him to join them for Saturday brunch, he wasn’t about to refuse. He hadn’t found the time to visit his parents since that fateful conversation weeks ago. He wanted to talk to them — and he knew that making time for them would help prove to Richard that his son really was a family man.
With all that in mind, Dan arrived at his parents’ house early that Saturday morning. Richard and Jane were in the kitchen, dancing as they made pancakes, bacon, and eggs. It was a scene Dan had seen many times throughout his childhood. He paused at the entry to the kitchen for a moment just to watch them together. It really was inspirational how his parents remained so much in love, forty years and two kids later. The way they smiled at each other made it clear how much they cared about one another.
Dan cleared his throat, and his parents turned, their smiles growing.
“Dan!” Jane pulled him into a tight hug. “It’s nice to see you.”
Dan felt a stab of guilt. His parents didn’t live all that far away. He should really make time to see them a little more often.
“How are you doing, Son?” Richard clapped him on the back.
“I’m well, thanks, Dad. How are you?”
“Doing well, doing well.” Richard gestured to the kitchen table, which had already been set with plates and cups. “Have a seat. We’re just finishing up here.”
“I have to admit,” Jane said as she flipped a pancake onto a serving platter and set the platter on the table, “part of me was hoping that you’d bring this mysterious Leah around.”
“Ever since we saw that picture, we’ve been looking forward to meeting her even more.” Richard smiled. “She’s beautiful, Son. And you look so happy together.”
The plan was working. Dan nodded. “We are happy.”
“So, not to push, but when will we get to meet her?” Jane slid into her seat across from Dan as his father put the last few platters onto the table.
“Soon.” Dan hesitated. He and Leah had discussed a meeting the following weekend, but he was worried about putting a specific timeline on it. Still… “How about next weekend?”
“That works for us.” Richard’s smile widened. “Shall we have her over for dinner?”
“I’m sure she’d love that. I’ll just check in with her about a specific time.”
“Surely you can tell us something about her,” Jane suggested. “Even just a little bit.”
Dan had been hoping not to give any details about Leah until their meeting, but he could tell them a few things. It would help to sell the story.
“Well, her name is Leah Adams. She works for RMA Pharmaceuticals in the research-and-development wing, where she just finished heading up the development of a new fertility drug. She grew up in Wisconsin.” Dan hesitated as he tried to decide what else to say.
“What’s she like?” Richard prompted. Dan hesitated a moment longer, then gave an internal sigh. He’d just have to go for this.
“Well, she’s, um, nice. But not in a fake way; just a genuinely kind and considerate person. And she’s incredibly thoughtful. Whenever she says something, it’s worth listening to, because she’s always looking at things in a new or interesting way. Even when we disagree, I still want to listen to all her points. She makes me smile, even when I’m in a bad mood. I think—” Dan broke off his sentence. His parents kept shooting each other funny looks. “What are you guys doing?”
“Nothing, nothing.” Richard waved him off. “Tell us more.”
Dan was missing something, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.
“All right… I think that’s most of what you need to know about Leah. But you’ll see all of this for yourselves next week. She’s really something special.”
His parents’ grins were even wider than before.
“Okay, come on. What is it?”
“It’s really nothing. Just hearing how you talk about her, I can tell that you care about Leah a lot. She must have really made an impression on you. You’re smitten!” Richard was beaming.
Dan opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. The plan was working even better than he’d expected it to. He’d planned to spend months convincing his parents that he and Leah were serious about each other, but maybe it wouldn’t be necessary. They seemed to believe him after just a few sentences.
So, instead of pushing back as Dan felt compelled to do, he just nodded.
“I am smitten.”
“I’m so happy to hear it.” Jane put a hand on Dan’s. “I know you were hesitant to get into a serious relationship for many years, but I think you’re starting to see how worthwhile it can be. Waking up to the face of the person you love every morning, planning a future together, raising children, supporting each other… it’s truly like nothing else in this life.”
Despite himself, Dan pictured Leah in each of these situations. He thought of her face the morning they’d woken up in bed together, from the soft curve of her lips to those bright green eyes, to the feeling of her in his arms. He thought of the appointment at the fertility clinic and how it would be to watch her grow round with her child — their child. He thought of holding her hand when she was nervous and of how she’d made him feel better when he was upset about his father’s ultimatum.
Dan knew he and Leah didn’t have a future together. Yet he couldn’t stop imagining a future, either.
“I think I know what you mean.” He smiled at his parents. “And I really can’t wait for you to meet her.”
“Neither can we. Now, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
The three of them dished up and dug into breakfast. Dan enjoyed the meal, and his conversation with his parents, but thoughts of Leah were never far from his mind. They’d had several “meetings” since their evening of dinner and a movie. All of them had revolved around getting to know important facts about each other and settling the fiction of how they’d become a couple, but they’d always ended up chatting about other things, too. Those evenings with Leah were quickly becoming the highlights of Dan’s days.
Perhaps he should have created more space between them. Yet when Dan left his parents’ home, he still went directly to the park where he and Leah had planned to meet. She was already there. Dan spotted her sitting on a park bench, reading a sheaf of printed papers. As he walked towards her, he saw her stifle a yawn.
“Hey.” He took a seat beside her, and she looked up, those green eyes sparkling with happiness.
“Hey!”
“How are you?”
“Not bad.” Leah slid the papers into her purse. “I’m just peer-reviewing some studies. How are you ? How was breakfast with your parents?”
“Good. They were pushing for more information on you, so I told them a few things. And we agreed to meet next weekend, if that’s okay with you.”
“That’s okay with me.” Leah nodded and stifled another yawn. “Sorry, I’ve been a little tired lately. But of course that’s okay. I think we’re almost done with our fake-dating crash course.”
“I think so, too. Would you like to take a stroll? We can quiz each other.”
“I do love a good quiz.” Leah winked.
“Oh, no. Don’t tell me you were one of those kids.”
“One of what kids?” Leah batted her eyelashes innocently, and Dan chuckled.
“You know what I mean. The kind of kid who reminded the teacher that there was supposed to be a quiz that day.”
“I was not!” Leah put on an expression of exaggerated hurt. “I’ll have you know that I put my love of quizzes to good use by writing myself and my friends practice tests.”
Dan burst into laughter. “That might be even worse. You wrote practice tests ? For fun ?”
“Hey, it was a very helpful service. For my friends. Who may have also been nerds.” Leah hung her head, and Dan put an arm around her shoulders before he could think better of it.
“I think we were all nerds, once.”
“I can’t picture you as a nerd.”
“I might have been more of a football-player nerd.”
It was Leah’s turn to laugh. “I don’t think there’s any such thing as a football-player nerd. I was a classic nerd. I always loved learning and studying. Sometimes I’d find books on immunology or string theory or geopolitics at the library to read for fun — and worse, I’d write essays on them and grade the essays myself.”
Dan squeezed Leah tighter against him, his heart flooded with affection for the beautiful, nerdy scientist beside him.
“I love that. It’s important to chase your passions. Even if your passions are super nerdy.”
“Oh, I know. I’ve never been ashamed of my nerdiness. It’s served me well throughout my life.”
Leah rested her head against Dan’s shoulder and they both fell silent for a moment. Dan scanned the park, which was now decked out in full springtime glory. Birds called to each other from the treetops, kids rode bikes along the paved paths, and a group of seniors played chess at a nearby picnic table. A few families had spread blankets across the grass and were enjoying sandwiches and bottles of lemonade. It was one of those perfect days, the kind that Dan usually missed because he was glued to his computer. And the day was only made better by the woman beside him.
He glanced down at Leah, who was looking around the park, too. It felt so good to sit like this with his arm around her… And then he realized that he had his arm around her, like they were actually dating. This was a terrible idea. He quickly disentangled his arm and stood, feeling guilty. He and Leah had shared one night together, but that didn’t mean that she wanted him to put his arm around her. He didn’t know what he’d been thinking.
“Shall we walk?”
Leah got to her feet and nodded. Her expression was unreadable. “Yes, let’s. And we’ll let the quizzing commence.”
They fell into step beside each other. The path they were on led towards a lake, or perhaps a large pond, which was populated by a few colorful ducks. The air smelled fresh and earthy.
“I have the first question,” Leah said. “How long ago was our first kiss?”
“It was six months ago,” Dan answered smoothly. “We stayed late at the office to work on a presentation and got to talking. Suddenly, we both saw each other as more than just colleagues. We kissed.”
Even though Dan knew it was a fake story — he and Leah had made it up together just a few days ago — it felt almost true.
“Good job. A-plus. Your turn.”
“Okay.” Dan considered for a moment as they walked. “Where did we go on our first date?”
“Easy. We went for Mexican food, and you insisted on treating me.”
They’d kept as close as possible to their actual story so that it would be easier to remember. Dan nodded. “A-plus for you, too.”
“Let’s see… What was the name of my dog when I was a child?”
“His real name was Chewbacca because he was just as fluffy as the character in Star Wars . But you all called him Snorts because he snorted all the time.”
Leah grinned. “Wow, very good. You get some extra credit for that.”
“Thank you.” Dan mimed a bow. “Now, a harder one. What’s our plan for moving in together?”
“Well, I already spend most nights at your place anyway.” Leah gave a bashful smile. “But I have a lease on my apartment until fall, so we’ll probably keep both places until then. After that, I’ll move in with you.”
Dan gave her a thumbs-up. “Nice.”
“Do you think it’ll be a problem that I’ve never actually been to your place?” Leah bit her lip. “What if they ask about the layout or something?”
Dan doubted that his parents were going to quiz Leah on the layout of his apartment, but he found himself nodding. “We have an appointment at the clinic tomorrow at four, right? How about you come over to my place afterwards. I’ll show you around, and we can order some takeout.”
“You aren’t going to cook for me?” Leah raised her eyebrows teasingly.
“You know I can only make three meals.”
“Pasta with tomato sauce, sandwiches, and frozen food,” Leah put in.
“Very nice. You know, I think we’re almost ready.”
Leah nodded slowly. “I think so, too. Is it weird that I’m a little nervous?”
Dan reached for her hand, then turned the gesture into a shrug when he realized that was a bad idea. “I’m a little nervous too. But there’s no reason to be. My parents are going to absolutely love you.”
“I hope you didn’t talk me up too much today. They’re going to have high expectations.”
“I was only honest. I don’t think you have anything unreasonable to live up to.”
“Okay.” Leah smiled. “Anyway, on another topic, how are you feeling about the appointment tomorrow? They’ll run some tests on us. Are you scared of needles or anything?”
“I’m feeling good. And I’m not scared of needles, although I’m not sure my blood is what they’ll be testing.” Dan shot Leah a look, and she blushed.
“Maybe not. But we’ll see. Moira said that they’d be looking over our family history forms to pinpoint some good tests to run. I’m actually kind of looking forward to it.”
“Of course you are. It’s your first step toward having a baby.”
“Speaking of which, I’ve been thinking about how involved you should be. You said that was up to me, right?”
“Right.” Dan nodded. But a part of him was worried. If Leah had decided that he shouldn’t be involved at all, or only a little, it would feel like a blow. It was true that Dan didn’t have a lot of free time, but he wanted to spend all the time he could with Leah and their baby.
“I think you should be as involved as you can be.” Leah bit her lip. “Or as involved as you want to be, I suppose. I have so many wonderful memories with my father from when I was young, and I want our child to have that, too. I’ll still be the primary parent, but I want you to feel very welcome at any time.”
“Thank you.” Dan was surprised by the sincerity in his words. “That’s what I want, too.”
The idea of being by Leah’s side as they raised their child together was too perfect to pass up. Dan would just have to figure out how he could balance being an involved father with running a multi-billion-dollar company. People did that kind of thing all the time. Didn’t they?
But even as Dan celebrated the idea that he would get more time with Leah and wondered how he would balance his schedule, he discovered a new worry. Leah was more than happy for him to be around now, but Dan didn’t know what would happen when and if she started to date again. The thought of being replaced by some boyfriend stung, as did the thought of Leah dating someone else.
That wasn’t fair, though. It wasn’t like Dan was going to date her himself. He should be happy at the thought of her finding someone to be with. Leah deserved that and so much more.
“Everything okay?” Leah nudged Dan’s shoulder with her own. “You look a little worried.”
“Everything’s perfect. I’m just thinking about how I can work with my schedule to make as much time as possible for our child.”
Leah grinned, and Dan knew he’d given the right answer. He loved it when he made her happy.
They continued their walk through the park. For a while, they carried on quizzing each other on personal history, but after some time they ended up just chatting. Dan usually loved this time with Leah, and he did today, too, but there was something else there. A dark shadow hanging over his shoulder. He wished that he could be the right guy for Leah. He wished that he had enough time to give her the kind of love she deserved. But he didn’t, and so he’d probably have to watch her fall in love with someone else someday.
It just didn’t feel right.