19. Dan
CHAPTER 19
DAN
A ll RMA employees received the Friday after Thanksgiving off. Dan planned to spend the day at home, relaxing, but he found that he couldn’t relax. Not at all. He went for a long run in the morning, then returned to his quiet apartment. For the first time, he noticed what Leah had said when she’d seen his home — that it was bare and, in a way, soulless. It didn’t feel like anyone lived here.
Dan turned on the TV and tried to watch one of his favorite shows, but he couldn’t concentrate. He kept thinking about Thanksgiving the day before. Leah had said she was thankful for him. Richard had, too. They were the two most important people in Dan’s life, and he’d hurt them both without giving it a second thought. He’d lied to his father and used Leah.
Even worse than the memory of them saying they were thankful for him was the memory of Leah getting out of the car. It had been a struggle for her to get out by herself, but she’d preferred to struggle than to accept Dan’s help.
Dan felt like a fraud, now more than ever. He’d gotten what he wanted — full control of RMA Pharmaceuticals. But it didn’t feel all that important anymore. Not when he’d manipulated his father to get here. Not when he’d used Leah. Not when his babies were on the way and he would have no part in their lives.
It might be too late to fix things with Leah, but perhaps it wasn’t too late for Dan to come clean with his father. He shuddered to think of his father’s inevitable anger, but Dan knew he had to be honest with Richard. Otherwise, this would haunt him all his life.
He called his parents’ landline — another sign of their increasing age; they were the only people Dan knew who still had a landline.
Richard answered after the second ring. He sounded happy. “Hi, Son. How are you?”
“I’m all right.” Dan took a deep breath and steeled himself. “But I need to talk to you.”
“Sure.” There was a pause, then Richard’s voice came across, clearer and more serious. “Would you like to come over? Jenny and Louis are still here, and they’d love to see you again.”
“I think it’s better if it’s just the two of us. Could you meet me at the coffee shop on thirty-eighth in an hour or so?”
“Of course.” Richard sounded worried now. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes. But we do need to talk.”
“All right. See you in an hour.”
“Bye.” Dan hung up, then stared at his phone. The part of him that focused on business and profits over everything pointed out that this was probably a mistake and that he could lose RMA Pharmaceuticals — after all, the paperwork hadn’t gone through yet — but the part of Dan that loved his family and wanted to be a good person was stronger. He needed to come clean.
An hour later, Dan sat across from his father in their favorite old coffee shop. Richard sipped from an Americano, while Dan’s espresso grew cold on the table between them.
“Son?” Richard looked more worried than ever. “Tell me. What’s going on?”
“This isn’t easy for me to say.” Dan let out a breath. “But I haven’t been entirely honest with you. Leah and I… we aren’t really dating. We never were. Instead, we worked out a deal. She wanted a baby, and I wanted to prove to you that I was ready to inherit RMA Pharmaceuticals. A fake relationship and a real pregnancy seemed like the best way to achieve both our goals. I realize that lying to you like this has essentially proven the opposite of what I wanted to, and I understand if you don’t feel I’m ready to take over RMA Pharmaceuticals anymore.”
There was a long pause. Dan tried to read his father’s expression, but Richard’s face was unreadable. Richard took a long sip of his coffee, then set it down.
“You and Leah aren’t dating? And you never were?”
“That’s right.” It was an easy answer. Dan knew he needed to be truthful, and he would be.
“So, you don’t love her? And you never did?”
Dan opened his mouth to say no, but he hesitated. He thought of Leah, her smile, her beautiful green eyes, the thoughtful expression she always got before a particularly good idea. He thought of how selfless she was and how much of herself she’d given to her work on Forenal and to him. He thought of what a wonderful mother she’d be. He thought of how all-consuming it felt to kiss her.
“I… I think I do love her.”
“Son.” Richard shook his head. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”
“I know I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
“That’s true. I wish you hadn’t lied to me — and I wish you hadn’t felt like you had to. But that’s not why I’m disappointed.”
Dan’s stomach sank. He felt like he had as a child, when he’d stolen a piece of candy from a supermarket and his father had sat him down and explained why stealing was wrong.
“Why are you disappointed, then?”
“Because it’s clear that you love Leah. Even before you said so, I knew it. I could see it in the way you look at her and the way you talk about her, from the very first time. Whatever your reasons for getting close to her and starting a family with her, Leah is good for you. You’re a better man when you’re with her. Don’t you see that?”
“A better man, maybe. But even when we’re together, I’m not good enough.” Dan sighed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to tell his father all this, but perhaps it was time to try a new strategy. Honesty. “When I found out that we were expecting triplets, I freaked out. I ran away to the office so that I wouldn’t have to deal with it, even though I knew Leah needed me. I’m not ready to be a father. I’m not ready to be a partner to Leah. I would just mess it up. It’s better for me to stick to work and make money to support my family.”
“Of course you aren’t ready to be a father, or a partner.” Richard chuckled, which was so unexpected that Dan just stared at him. “No one is ready. And of course you’ll make mistakes. Everyone does. But the biggest mistake you could possibly make would be not trying.”
“I’m not so sure. Stepping back now was painful for both Leah and me, but what if I stay with her and still put my work first? What if I’m not a good partner? What if I hurt her years down the line? What if I’m not a good father to our children?”
“That’s a good point.” Richard nodded. “But I have to ask you. When you first started at RMA, were you good at everything?”
“Of course not.” Dan chuckled at a memory of one particularly huge blunder involving a shipment of packaging and a nonexistent trucking service. “I made a lot of mistakes.”
“And did you give up?”
“No. It was too important.”
“What did you do?”
“I asked for help. I read books and watched interviews with successful businessmen. I talked to you.”
“And isn’t your family, Leah and your children, more important than work?” Richard leaned forward, his intensity suddenly growing. “You can always delegate your work. You could even sell RMA — it’s not like you need the money. But are you ever going to find anyone else like Leah? Will she ever find anyone else like you? Don’t your children deserve to grow up with a loving, present father?”
The words hit Dan like a ton of bricks. He’d worried for so long that he wouldn’t be a good partner, but it was true that no one was good at anything right away. And it was true that Leah mattered more than work. So did their children. In that moment, Dan understood. Family was the most important thing. And with hard work, he could be the partner she needed and the father their kids deserved.
“It’s too late, though.” Dan shook his head slowly. “Leah doesn’t want anything to do with me. She made it clear that I don’t have a role to play in her life anymore.”
“Of course she did.” Richard smiled. “You told me you ran off after you found out that you were having triplets and that you haven’t supported her since. She must be furious. You messed up, big time. But that doesn’t mean that it’s too late. I’ve seen how Leah looks at you. You can still make this right.”
“Do you think so?”
“I do.” Richard nodded. “But Dan, if you go after her, if you try to win her back, you have to be sure. Family isn’t something you can do halfway. If things get hard again, and they will, you have to be there. Leah and your children have to be the most important thing in your life. More than work. More than anything. Can you do that?”
Dan nodded. “I can. I have to. I’ve let my fears keep me from her for too long. If she’ll have me back, I’ll make sure she’s always my first priority. You’re right. I can delegate work, but I can’t delegate her.”
“Good man.” Richard reached across the table and squeezed Dan’s shoulder. “Go. Win her back. But later, we are going to have a long talk about honesty.”
“I’ll be ready.” Dan got to his feet.
“Oh, and Dan?”
He turned back to his father. “Yes?”
“You didn’t ask, but I wanted to tell you. You’re still ready to inherit the company. Your honesty and openness today proved that you’re ready, just as much as your relationship with Leah does.”
Dan froze. “Thank you. I can’t believe this, but I almost forgot about the company for a moment.”
“Good.” Richard nodded. “I think you finally have your priorities straight. Now, get going.”
Dan hurried out to the car, his mind racing. He wanted to speak to Leah in person, not over the phone, and the weekend would give him the time to plan. He knew he needed to show her that he saw things differently now and that he was ready to love her.
The long weekend flew by. Dan ordered chocolates, flowers, and a set of three newborn onesies that read Daddy loves Mommy . Sure, they were cheesy, but they were true, and Dan could handle being a little cheesy for Leah.
Early Monday morning, before Leah usually arrived, Dan was in her office, setting everything up. He was nervous, but more than anything else, he was excited. He’d missed Leah unbearably during the months they’d been apart. He knew he’d missed out on so many milestones in her pregnancy and in their triplets’ development. He wouldn’t get that time back, but from now on, he could be the partner she needed. He was ready.
Dan waited in Leah’s office. He was ready to surprise her. He was ready to talk.
Nine o’clock, when Leah usually arrived, came and went. Dan waited. Ten o’clock came, then went. He started to worry. Perhaps she had a doctor’s appointment. Or a meeting. Or maybe something had happened to her.
Finally, at ten thirty, the office door swung open. Dan’s heart beat faster in anticipation. This was it. Yet the woman who came in wasn’t Leah. It was a brunette who Dan had seen around the office a few times, Bradyn or something similar.
“Oh!” She looked startled that Dan was in the office. “Hi!”
“Good morning.” Dan got to his feet. “I’m looking for Leah. Do you know if she’s coming in today?”
“Um.” The woman shook her head. “No, she isn’t coming in.”
“Do you know when she’ll be back?”
“Not for a while.” The woman bit her lip. “Leah’s maternity leave starts today. Since she has a high-risk pregnancy, she gets five weeks off before her due date. But I’ll be covering all her projects. Is there something I can help you with?”
Dan shook his head. “No, thank you. I’ll go.”
His heart sank as he gathered the bag of gifts and left the office. If Leah’s maternity leave had started, she wouldn’t be back in the office for months. He was going to have to find another way to contact her.
Back in his office, he pulled up her contact on his phone and called her. After ringing, the call went to voicemail.
“Hi, Leah. It’s Dan. We need to talk. Please call me back.”
He sent her a quick text as well. In this one, he added that he was sorry for how things had gone between them. Then he waited. And waited.
Over the next few days, Dan tried to call Leah several more times, but he couldn’t get through to her. She wasn’t taking his calls. He left her a few voice messages and texts, but he quickly realized that she wasn’t willing to talk to him. He could hardly blame her.
He considered going to Leah’s house to talk to her in person, but if she didn’t want to see him, he didn’t want to just show up. Plus, at this point, just talking to her and giving a few gifts wasn’t going to be enough. He needed to do something big.
Towards the end of the week, a plan began to come together. Dan had one more idea, something that would prove to Leah where his priorities lay. If this didn’t work, he didn’t know what would.
Dan put together a team and got to work.