Chapter Eight
Jasper
Too fucking warm. Cozy…but too fucking hot.
I stuck a hand out from under the covers, seeking some kind of relief.
Surreptitiously, I tried to toe my socks off.
“What’s wrong?”
Cameron turned in my arms to gaze at me. “Are you okay? You haven’t been asleep long. Did you even get to sleep?”
“I’m too hot. You’re wearing a sweater. How are you not hot?”
“Well, I’m warm now. But I always feel cold. My hands are always freezing. You’ll notice I often wear layers.”
“And keep your house warm. Yes, I’d noticed that.”
“Not good for the electric bill, but I can only do so much with layers.” He smiled. “My dad says it’s my southern roots.”
I cocked my head.
“He was from Louisiana before he came north to dodge the Vietnam draft. President Carter pardoned him, but he’d made a life for himself in Canada. He took instructions on how to lessen his accent. He wanted to fit in. Eventually, when he was older, he met my mother. They had me.”
“And now?”
“He’s in a retirement community, and she passed, gosh, a long time ago. I barely remember her. He was a good father. Is a good father. And I owe him a visit.”
“You could probably go this afternoon. The roads are mostly clear.”
He pressed himself against my neck. “I have somewhere more important to be. My dad—” He chuckled. “—would be happy for me. He might not understand about the gay stuff. That said, he was always fine with Kade and now Tanner as well.”
The gay stuff. “You’re bisexual. You still might find a nice woman to settle with and have kids.”
He froze. “I’ve never thought about that. Well, not never. Just…a wife and kids has felt out of reach. Because they go together. Well, spouse and children. I know I couldn’t try to raise kids on my own. I look at Tanner and Kade, as well as Nita and Rohit…they’re all slammed and there are two parents. I can’t fathom doing it alone.”
“Yeah.”
He pulled back. “Have you thought about kids?”
“Hey, I’m only twenty-two.” Please believe me.
His brow creased for a long moment. Then he leaned forward to place a kiss on my lips. “You’ve got time.”
“So do you. Thirty-three isn’t that old.”
He laughed. “Sometimes I feel I was born old.” Then he pressed a hand to my chest. “Do you want to take your shirt off?”
“What I want is to get naked with you.”
“That sounds…” He sighed. “I want that too.”
I cupped his cheeks. “Hand job? Blow job? Anal?” I said the last in jest and regretted it immediately. We barely knew each other. And yeah, my ex had nailed me on our second date, but look how that’d worked out—
“Yes.”
“Huh?”
He held my gaze. “I want…that is…I have lube and condoms.”
“Well, condoms make sense since you date. Prudence is your middle name. Lube helps when you’re jerking off.”
“Yes.” He appeared relieved, with his brow unfurrowing a bit.
A bit.
“I said I want you to take my ass. Is that something…? Does that appeal to you? Or me—” I almost said fucking. In my heart, though, I knew it would be so much more than that. No logic existed for how deeply I was falling for him. How I could so easily give myself to him entirely—without hesitation.
“You…?”
“Making love to you.”
His eyes shone. “That sounds nice. But, this first time, do you think I could…?” He ran his hand down my flank and settled on my hip.
I scooted closer, pressing my erection against his crotch while allowing his hand to slide down to my jeans-covered ass. “Yes. You can. I’d love it.” I pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’m vers. You know what that means, right?”
“That you, uh…” He cleared his throat. “That you enjoy both positions.”
“Yep. Now my ex—”
His eyes darkened.
“—whom we will not discuss…except to say he preferred topping, and I really enjoy bottoming. But I can certainly top. You need…” I tilted my head. “I think you need to try both ways. To figure out what you like. Unless you have an aversion to one or the other. Which is legit. An online friend of mine only wanted to wear tutus and get fucked. I completely respected that.”
Cameron smiled. “I’m not partial to tutus myself. But whatever floats your boat.”
I laughed. “Uh, not me. I’d love for you to, uh, make love to me.”
His pupils widened. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. But I’d say we need way fewer clothes.”
“I agree. I’m getting steamy just thinking about this.”
My alarm chose that moment to go off.
Reluctantly, I rolled away from his embrace to silence it. “I also need to piss. Which will be fun with an erection. But my bladder waits for no man. I’ll get undressed and come back?”
“Yeah. I need to piss too. I’ll meet you back here. Very naked.” He rolled out of bed and headed to his ensuite bathroom.
Affording me a glimpse of his delicious ass.
I truly didn’t care if we never reversed. Some guys weren’t into that. I certainly wasn’t going to push Cameron into anything he wasn’t comfortable with. With that thought, I rolled out of bed, yanked my shirt over my head, and dropped it onto one of the chairs. Then I removed my jeans and socks.
Oh, brilliant. You’re going to walk down the hall to the slightly chilled bathroom naked. Piss-poor planning. Still, I hustled my ass.
Cameron kept the parts of the house he used warm while the others were cooler. His guest bathroom didn’t have a ton of heat.
So I did everything quickly and headed back to his room, closing the door behind me.
To find him naked in bed.
With a condom and a bottle of lube on the bed next to him.
Which he gazed at as he stroked his cock.
“Like what you see?” The words came across confidently, but the little tremor was there.
I offered a wide grin. “Oh fuck, yes.” I snagged the condom and rolled it onto my very interested shaft. Then I crawled onto the bed and settled myself between his legs. He opened his thighs for me.
I held up the bottle of lube.
He swallowed visibly and then nodded.
I opened the bottle with a little snick.
He smiled shyly, kind of ducking his head.
I willed him to meet my gaze.
As if he heard me, he looked at me. “So, I understand I might have a prostate…”
Unbidden, laughter bubbled up in me. “Yes, that’s a very good bet. Unless you’re somehow anatomically different from most of the rest of the male population.”
This was…fun…
“Well, having a best friend who came out more than twenty years ago and who has no problem oversharing. Plus, his husband who will mention sex while blushing crimson…”
“You’re curious.” I poured some lube onto my hand.
“Yeah. Not enough to have done anything about it, though.” Another shy smile.
“You’re ready now?” I advanced my hand toward his hole.
His cock was already hard and curving toward his belly. He grasped his balls to move them out of the way.
“You’re beautiful, you know? I mean, I don’t have a ton of comparisons—which I wouldn’t do anyway. You’re just…everything I could ever ask for in a man.”
“List my attributes later.” He eyed my fingers. “I’m about to combust here.”
“You might still. Some guys can come with just prostate stimulation.”
“I want to come with you inside me.” He said the words with absolute seriousness.
“Yeah, me too.” I ran my hand around his rim.
He gasped. “That’s a little chilly.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll heat you up.” Slowly I slid my index finger into him.
His dark-brown eyes widened. “That feels…strange…”
I wiggled my finger. “I’m going to add a second—”
“Yes. That. Please.”
“My pleasure.” So I added a second. With infinitesimal progress, I eased inside him.
He whimpered. In a good way.
I angled my wrist until I found that spongy spot.
His head bobbed. “Holy shit.”
Gently, I pressed it.
His cock pulsed.
“I feel…”
“Yeah?”
“More?”
I laughed. “Only a bit. I still have to loosen you up.” I did another couple passes and then focused on scissoring my fingers to try to open him.
He sighed and relaxed into my touch.
I’d never made love to a virgin before. My ex had been way more experienced than me—for which I’d been grateful. Deep in my heart, I hoped this meant even more to Cameron. I wanted a connection with him. Down to the marrow of my bones, I wanted this to be special. “You ready?”
“As much as I’ll ever be.”
“That’s true.” I removed my hand, added lube to my palm, then slathered my cock. “This might hurt.”
“I know you’ll do your best.”
God. That absolute trust touched my soul in a way I never could’ve anticipated. I’d been attracted to him from the moment we’d met. My feelings had intensified over the weeks. The blow jobs should’ve been the moment of true connection, but it’d been when he made me sandwiches and packed a lunch.
Things that made my heart go pitter-patter.
I knelt between his legs and lined up my cock. “You okay?”
“Yes. Please just…do it, okay? I know it’ll hurt. But then it’ll feel good.”
All things that were true.
So I pressed in. Slowly. Gently. Through the incredibly tight fit, I pushed until my crown was inside him.
His breathing shallowed.
“No, baby, deep breaths. That was the worst of it. Now just try to relax.”
He gripped the sheets. “It feels so weird. No, don’t pull out. Stay still, okay? Just for a minute.”
“For as long as you need.” My instinct, of course, was to pull out. To remove the discomfort. To tug him into my arms and hold him tight.
“I think…let’s try.”
“Yes, easy. Slow.” And I followed my words. Sliding in a millimeter or two, then pulling back. Steadily until I was finally seated.
Our gazes held.
He nodded.
I began a rhythm of pulling back, then thrusting back in. Gentle. Easy. Don’t break him. The urge to pick up the pace overwhelmed, but no way would I do that. Nope. I was going to take it easy.
Cameron arched his neck back and his gaze went to the ceiling. “I don’t know if I can take much more of this.” He gazed back at me.
I wrapped my hand around his cock and tugged.
His thighs tightened around me.
Yeah. This. At that point, I increased my pace—balancing gentleness with fervor. I jerked him at the same rate.
He muttered something about coming moments before he stiffened and spurted cum from his cock.
Still, I kept up the unrelenting pace, even as his inner walls convulsed around me
Then, finally, I thrust hard and held myself still.
Our gazes collided.
My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah. Him.
I just didn’t know if I wanted to be his secret boyfriend forever.