Chapter 43
CHAPTER
FORTY-THREE
Rory
Li gets back to the dorm shortly after I do and after we both unpack we decide to put on a movie for background noise and catch up.
“I miss home but it’s so good to be back.” She grabs one of the throw pillows from the couch and clutches it against her. “I don’t have my mom breathing down my neck. God love her, but it’s nice to have some independence. How’d things go with Mascen?”
Instantly heat rushes to my cheeks. “Um, really well.”
“That’s it?” She punches my arm playfully. “You’re always so secretive.”
“It was … nice. Better than nice, actually. We hung out around his place, did some things, I worked some evenings, there’s really not a lot to tell.”
“But how do you feel about him? Did being alone with him reinforce feelings or are you back to hating him?”
“Things started off rocky, I don’t think either of us expected to run into each other here, I mean, I know we didn’t, but now it feels like we’ve always been this way. It’s easy. And isn’t that how things should be? As easy as breathing?”
Li smiles widely and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. You’re so much more lively and vibrant than when classes first started. It’s like there’s a light in you now that didn’t used to be there. And I’m not saying you need a guy to find that light or to be happy, but I think he awakened something in you that you forgot was there.”
“Maybe,” I agree, afraid to give him too much credit. “Being with him is better than I expected. I never thought this would happen, not the way things were in the beginning, but we click. He’s so different once you get to know him. He puts on this front, but God Li, he’s just … he has a good heart, you know?”
Li smiles, releasing a theatric dreamy sigh. “Let me know where I can find a guy like that.”
I sigh, feeling a pang in my chest. “Cole’s a good guy. I know I hurt him.”
“You didn’t mean to.”
“Even if I didn’t mean to it doesn’t mean I didn’t. He deserved better.”
“You can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone. They’re either there or not. You and Mascen had chemistry from the get-go and I know you liked Cole, but I don’t think your feelings ever moved past those of friendship.”
I shake my head. “They didn’t but I still feel bad.”
“I think it’s human to feel bad when you know you’ve hurt someone even unintentionally.”
A knock on the door ends our conversation and we both exchange a look, wondering who could be there.
“Mascen?” she asks, pointing over her shoulder at the door.
“I don’t think so.”
I get up and go answer the door, finding a pizza delivery guy on the other side. “Oh, hi,” I blurt out in surprise. “I’m sorry but we didn’t order pizza.”
I start to shut the door but he stops me. “No, the order instructions said specifically this dorm.”
“Oh. Are you sure?”
He tilts his head. “Are you Princess?”
I blush and snatch the pizza from him, closing the door with my foot. The driver cackles on the other side. I hope Mascen gave him a tip, because I’m way too embarrassed to open the door now.
“Pizza?” Li brightens, hopping up.
“A gift from Mascen.” The sticker on the side does indeed include instructions on where our dorm is located and says plainly; To: Princess From: Satan
“Wow, I think I love him too.”
My head shoots up in her direction. “I never said I love him.”
She smiles conspiratorially and lifts the top of the box, revealing the delicious looking veggie pizza. “Girl, you don’t have to say it. I see it in your eyes.”
“I don’t—not yet. It’s too soon.”
She plucks a slice out of the box. “Say whatever you want but the truth is written all over your face.”
Before I grab my own piece I text Mascen.
Me: Thanks for the pizza, Satan.
I don’t get an immediate reply, but it doesn’t surprise me. Grabbing two pieces for myself I settle back on the couch beside Li.
“All I’m saying,” she struggles to speak around a mouthful, “is if a man sends you pizza, he’s a keeper.”
By the time I crawl into bed it’s after eleven. Stifling a yawn, I reach for my phone for the first time in hours, expecting to see at least a text from Mascen but there’s nothing.
Me: Are you okay?
A few minutes go by.
Me: Mascen, you’re worrying me.
Me: Hello?
Me: I’m going to bed.
Me: I hope you’re all right.
Me: Goodnight.
Sunday passes without a reply back, call, or even a fucking carrier pigeon from Mascen. I’ve moved from worried to pissed off, because he’s obviously ignoring me and I don’t know why. His lack of communication is maddening. Did I do or say something wrong? Did he use me as a fuck buddy over break? None of it makes sense. The moments we spent together seemed real and genuine. It makes me sick to my stomach to think he might’ve been acting to get what he wanted.
Li and Kenna are both in disbelief that he’s shutting me out. Li tells me to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Kenna says he’s ghosting me.
I have no real idea what to think or feel beyond confused and hurt.
But like a desperate fool I keep texting him.
And to no surprise to anyone, even me, he never responds.