Chapter 39 - Clem
I was safe from Jordie, but was I truly safe, as Rurik assured me while he drove me back home?
Not home. His mansion, where I had been installed like a piece of fine furniture.
Turmoil kept me from relaxing, confusion kept me from saying anything.
What could I say? Where did I begin with all the questions that swirled through my mind?
Everything I thought I knew about Rurik was upside down.
My own eyes told me he was no stranger to violence.
That wasn’t my imagination, even though I was sure I was seeing things when he burst in.
But Jordie wouldn’t have pulled a gun on a figment of my imagination, conjured from hope and too many blows to the head.
Rurik was really there. And about to be killed, because of me. Because he’d come after me. As we drove silently through the dark streets of his secluded neighborhood, those images kept flashing before my eyes, even when I shut them tight.
The gun raised to Rurik’s face. Oh, the look on that face, so dark and full of barely controlled rage.
The sound that ripped out of his throat when he effortlessly got the gun away from my psycho ex and cracked him in the side of the head with it.
Beautiful. A work of art, and so fast I would have missed it if I had blinked.
Normally, something like that would make me want to turn away, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Rurik as he took Jordie to the ground, incapacitating him and removing the threat.
No normal, everyday businessman could move like that.
It was pretty clear by then that my bookish husband might actually be a mafia king.
His eyes then cut to me, and the anger drained away, leaving only relief. He was at my side in a second, and now I was back where I had been longing to be. And wondering if I was out of my mind when I had been yearning for him to find me and get me out of there.
Now what?
Back at his house, he carried me inside. “Don’t bother telling me you’re fine,” he said roughly, though his hands were gentle as he cradled me in his arms. “You’re clearly not.”
He frowned at my forehead, which throbbed not only from headbutting Jordie, but from the punch he gave me that ended up knocking me out long enough to end up tied and gagged.
“That’s partly my fault,” I mumbled. “I headbutted him. They don’t act like it hurts at all in the movies.”
He laughed, holding me closer as he took me upstairs. “It hurts like a son of a bitch.”
So he’d done it before. Why was I not surprised by that? “I really don’t know you at all,” I said, head down.
“Yes, you do,” he said firmly.
In his room, he settled me on the bed, bringing me fresh pajamas and a robe to change into while he found the medicine I had made him buy when he turned up with that mysterious black eye only a few days before our first big meeting.
I changed, glad to be out of the clothes I had been in since we left Japan… when? It seemed like a year ago. Exhaustion made me sway on my feet as I tugged the nightshirt over my head. A strong hand steadied me, and when I pulled it down, concerned green eyes met mine.
“Sit,” he ordered kindly. But it was still an order.
“I wouldn’t make it far if I tried,” I said, trying for levity and failing.
His brows shot together, and what looked like pain filled his eyes. “Do you want to?” he asked. “Make it far away?”
I shrugged, wincing at the pain that caused. Getting slammed to the floor and then having my hands tied behind my back had taken a toll, and more aches and pains were making themselves known every time I moved. I wasn’t sure how to answer his question, so I stayed silent.
He began to carefully dab the ointment onto my face while shaking his head. “I think I might understand why you’re such an expert in bruise management,” he said bitterly.
There was more than a statement there. He was subtly asking me who Jordie was and why I was with him. I studied his face, wondering why I wasn’t quaking with fear to be so close to him. It was time to confess my secrets, and I felt my cheeks begin to burn with shame.
“He’s my ex,” I said. “The reason I came to LA. I thought I was doing a good job hiding from him.”
“Who is he?” Rurik asked meaningfully. “Who is he working for?”
I huffed. “He hasn’t had a job since I first met him. He’s a parasite who lives off weak and stupid women.”
His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly on my chin as he scowled. “You’re not weak, and you’re definitely not stupid. Don’t imply that you are because you ended up in a bad situation.”
It was like I had been waiting for words like that for years and never knew how much I needed to hear them. If only I could melt into his arms and let him comfort me. Let the horrible encounter with Jordie fade from my mind and sink back into life with Rurik.
A life that wasn’t real. But what in the hell was it?
Test him.
Don’t test him.
My heart and my mind were pulling me in two different directions.
I was safe and sound, so why turn everything inside out by asking questions?
Questions that might just finally push Rurik over the edge and unleash whatever he had been doing such a good job of hiding.
After seeing him so easily take down a violent creep like Jordie, I didn’t really want to meet his true self, did I?
But what if the guy who was sweetly pulling my hair back to look for more bruises on my neck was the real Rurik? What if there were no monster?
“I know about your family,” I whispered.
Maybe he wouldn’t hear. Maybe I could pretend I said something else if he flew into a rage.
“I know you were doing something with guns this afternoon. I know that your cousin owns the apartment building I was supposed to move into.” My voice raised a notch as I lifted my chin to meet his eyes.
“Did you arrange for my place to be unavailable when you knew I couldn’t go back to the old one?
Were the guys hanging around outside watching me for you so I’d be scared enough to want to move in the first place?
Were you stalking me? Molding my life to your whims? ”
I was panting by the time it was all out, heart pounding, bracing myself for whatever came next. Fear and fury were back, unlike anything I ever felt about Jordie, because I had never cared about him the way I cared about Rurik.
Because he tricked me into caring.
What could he possibly say to get out of what I already knew?
Shockingly, he didn’t try. “It’s all true,” he said simply. Not sorry, not angry, as calm as if he told me we were changing something on the work schedule.
“Why?” I demanded, scrambling away when he tried to take my hand.
“My guys were there to keep you safe. I didn’t know that your ex was looking for you, but that apartment building had some pretty shady operations going down.”
“How did you even know that?”
“I’m your employer,” he said.
“Sure, that’s a reason to know my address, but how is it a reason to go check the place out? Did you look in my windows?”
“Yes,” he said. His eyes captured mine, and I couldn’t look away. “I was obsessed with you, Clem. I needed to know everything about you. You were mine. You are mine. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt you.”
My heart thudded in my chest, my blood heating up in my veins. There was no way I thought his confession was hot. I was confused, tired, literally beat. I shook my head.
“And my new apartment? You were behind that, too?”
“I only pulled that stunt because you were going to find out about our marriage soon, and I didn’t want you to have to go to all the trouble of unpacking.
” He dared to smile mischievously at me as he continued to confess.
“You complained about it so much before I hired the movers, I thought I was doing you a favor.” He paused again, the sweeping look he gave me heating my cheeks.
“And I wanted you here with me. Where you belong.”
I swallowed hard, tightening my grasp on the bedcovers. Why? To keep from scratching his eyes out or grabbing him and kissing him?
“The marriage,” I said, still struggling to breathe properly.
“Our very real marriage,” he interjected, still with that hint of a grin.
“To get the deal with Koboyashi Corp,” I said.
He shook his head. “Because I wanted you.” He gripped my shoulders, his face serious now. “Because I love you, Clem. I love you so damn much that it took over my whole life. You are my whole life. I will always keep you safe, even if you don’t like the way I do it.”
The force of his words shocked me into stillness, not pulling away from his steady, firm grasp.
Unable to tear my eyes from his, full of everything he just told me.
He loved me. It was clear he meant every word, and just like that, I believed him.
I remembered the rush of relief I felt when he first brought me here, how untouchable I felt.
It wasn’t the fortress of a house; it was him.
But…
“What about the mob ties?” I asked. He’d completely dodged those questions so far.
His lips curled up in a harsh grin as he stood, heading for his desk. “I don’t have mob ties,” he told me, grabbing his laptop to sit beside me. He snapped it open. “I am the mob.”
I choked as he began to pull up pages and pages of information, showing me so much I couldn’t possibly take it all in.
“The Bratva, to be more precise,” he said. “No more secrets. This is everything. All my holdings in Moscow, everything I do here. This is me.”
“Does this mean I know too much now?” I asked, hoping he’d laugh.
He didn’t. “I’ll never let any of this affect you,” he promised.
I took a deep breath. “Have you ever killed anyone?”
“People who’ve tried to kill me, who would have killed my loved ones,” he answered without hesitation.
I shuddered, feeling warm again, not sure why. It wasn’t fear. “Will you kill Jordie?”
“If you want me to,” he said, eyes flashing like emeralds. “Once I get any pertinent information out of him.”