Chapter 19 - Diomid
Matvei grabs my car keys from my hands and tosses them to Nikita. “Follow us in Diomid’s car. We’re having a family meeting at my place,” he snaps, shoving me toward his car.
“Mat, I want to go home,” I groan.
“And we want a fucking life free from your bullshit, but clearly neither of those things is happening, are they?”
Giving in, I duck into the back seat of his car and sink into it, closing my eyes and taking slow, deep breaths.
That was a nightmare.
Matvei and Timofey are in the car with me, but neither of them speaks a word all the way home. It’s eerie and tense, but I’m fine with it. I know what’s coming, and this silence is welcomed.
Oleg is climbing out of the car outside Matvei’s place when we arrive. His face is stern, glaring at me, when I push the door open and step into the driveway.
All of us follow Matvei into the living room, and I flop down onto the sofa in preparation to be blasted for a second time today.
“What the fuck were you thinking, man? No, don’t even bother answering that.
You weren’t thinking, as usual, you just act on impulse without a single consideration for anyone around or how your actions will affect us.
” Matvei is furious, pacing up and down in front of the sofa, shaking his head, pushing his hands through his hair.
“And this time, you involved an innocent girl in your mess. Angelika doesn’t deserve this. She’s out there trying to cover for you, but I see straight through it, man. This was you. All you. It’s so fucking typical of you,” Mat snarls, and Oleg and Tim nod in agreement.
Shit.
They all think so low of me.
“Why did you have to choose a Shev?” Timofey snaps.
“Of all the people you could have messed with, a Shev? It’s like you’re hell bent on destroying everything for everyone.
Determined to tear everything down for what?
Because you’re not happy, we all have to be unhappy?
What is it that drives you to do these stupid things, man? ”
All I can do is hang my head and let them plow into me with their angry, hurtful words. I can’t defend myself because everything they’re saying is fair. I get it. I understand. They’re right.
I rest my elbows on my knees, leaning forward in the seat, and rest my face in my hands in shame.
“I’m sorry, guys, seriously. I didn’t intentionally go out there with the idea of fucking things up,” I mutter.
“It’s never intentional, but somehow you keep repeating the same cycle over and over again. You keep doing stupid shit that affects us. When does it end, Diomid? When do you start thinking about your actions before you rush into them?” Mat snarls, pacing again.
The lecture goes on for a solid hour. Each of my brothers takes turns giving me a piece of their mind. I sit through it with humility, keeping my voice low and refraining from argument. And while they are laying it down on me, I can’t stop thinking about her.
Her family was also furious. I saw the way Jaroslav looked at her. She’s probably getting it ten times worse than I am right now, and my heart breaks for her.
It’s never what I wanted for her.
I never intended for any of this to happen.
But I did, though, didn’t I? Because I kept pushing to have her. I never tried to stop myself. How could I, though? She’s everything I have ever wanted.
I’m such a selfish asshole. At the end of the day, that’s the only true thing that matters right now.
When the lecture is over, Matvei practically kicks me out of his house, and I walk away with my tail between my legs, back to my car, miserable, exhausted, and wishing things had gone differently.
Sitting in my car, I pull my phone from my back pocket.
For a moment, I stare at it, wanting to call her.
Wanting to message her. But imagine if her brother had her phone, anticipating that.
It would make things worse if that’s even possible.
If there is a way to make things worse, though, I’m sure I’ll be the one to find it.
I scoff at myself, shake my head, and shove my phone into the console of my car.
I can’t message her.
Lying in my bed that night, I couldn’t sleep.
The darkness is too dark, and my thoughts are too agitated.
My mind is teasing me with all the ways I could have done this differently so that I didn’t end up losing her.
Because that’s what I’ve done. I’ve created a situation so bad that she and I could never actually be together now.
Morning light begins to glow against my ceiling, and I haven’t slept at all.
Dragging myself out of bed, I throw on some sweatpants and head to the gym. Stay busy, clear your head. Forget about the best thing that ever happened to you.
***
In the morning, I’m sitting at my desk in my home office, going through the scripts of the recordings caught by the bugs Angelika and I planted at the auction.
As the bugs record, my system immediately transcribes it into text. Then the text is scanned, and the algorithm is set to trigger and highlight certain words.
Scrolling through the pages of text, I pause over the highlighted bits, reading those as priority.
I’ve been doing this for a few hours a day, every day since we planted the bugs.
And finally, it’s paid off.
I read aloud, my eyes squinting at the words. “You can bring the girls in on Friday night. The auction starts Saturday at eight. Have them ready. We don’t want them looking too beaten up, so maybe get someone in to dress them. The better they look, the higher the offers will be.”
Fuck.
Another human auction.
My heart churns with disgust.
These guys need to be taken down for good.
My instincts are telling me to call my brothers in and make quick work of it.
But my heart immediately snaps back at me.
That wouldn’t be fair. This is Angel’s fight.
She has a right to be involved in this. More so than anyone else. I can’t take this away from her.
But involving her… it means, firstly, contacting her. And secondly, putting her in danger again.
Fuck.
Yeah, this isn’t an easy choice. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here.
She’ll never forgive me if I don’t tell her about this. Does that matter, though? As it stands now, she and I will never speak again if her brother has anything to do with it.
But somewhere deep inside me, I refuse to accept that. I can’t let her go that easily, and I’ve already decided, whether I know it or not, that I was going to reach out to her sooner or later once the drama had blown over.
I would be a fool not to. Only an idiot would let such a beautiful, perfect girl go that easily.
I might be reckless, but I’m not an idiot.
Leaning back in my office chair, I tap my finger against the side of my phone, sighing thoughtfully. Unlocking it, I scroll to her name in the messenger app. She’s saved under princess, and it makes me smile just looking at her contact photo. It also hurts, though, seeing her face.
If her brother did take her phone away on Friday night after everything went down… It’s Tuesday now. Surely he would have given it back to her after I left her alone.
It’s a risk I’m going to have to take. The only other option is to sneak into her bedroom, and if I get caught doing that, I am one hundred percent sure Zakhar will be shoving my own balls down my throat.
My heart is racing as I type out the message. But it’s not out of fear of being caught, it’s more because I’m excited to contact her. It’s been painful to be without her. Difficult not to reach out.
Me: Are you doing ok?
After churning a few options in my head and typing and retyping, this is what I eventually sent.
It’s a way to test the waters. To gauge if she has her phone or not.
And I can just claim I was checking in to see if her brother has her phone.
The message is innocent enough, even though it would still get me into trouble.
I fight the urge to start biting my nails. An old habit I gave up years ago.
The phone stays silent, no reply.
Maybe it’s best if I set it aside and forget about it for a few hours. This waiting will push me into psychosis if I let it.
Just as I drop my phone onto my desk, it beeps, and I practically throw it across the room, grabbing it up again.
Princess: I’m ok. Sort of. And you?
I stare at the phone. It might not be her.
How do I test this?
Me: Surviving. Thinking about those colorful drinks in Barbados.
Princess: *smile face* Rainbow Sunsets? I think about them too. About the diving, how bright the stars are there… and all the color.
It’s her. It’s actually her. My heart skips a beat as I type the next message.
Me: Do you remember those little bugs?
I’m hoping she understands what I’m referring to.
Princess: The ones that the locals could use to listen to their secrets?
She gets it. Yes.
Me: Yes. Ha-ha. Anyway. I’m going to Lemon Bar this evening for a rainbow cocktail and to watch the sunset. I hope you’re well, Angel. Maybe I’ll see you around.
Princess: I think I might also be watching the sunset this afternoon. Maybe I’ll see you around.
I’m not sure, but I think she got the message. But there’s only one way to find out.
***
An hour before sunset, I’m sitting at Lemon Bar with my hands tapping anxiously against the top of the table on either side of my drink. My eyes are alert, scanning back and forth, waiting for her, or her brother, to come walking toward me.
The ice has melted in my glass. My stomach is knotted with tension.
But in the end, it pays off.
Angel steps into the bar, not seeing me right away, her brow furrowed with stress as she bites at her lower lip.
When she does spot me, her face floods with relief, and she rushes over.
“I wasn’t sure, um, if you were asking me to meet you, but you were… Right?” she blurts out, standing next to my table.
I stand up and hug her, an awkward gesture, then invite her to sit down. “I was. We need to talk.”
“About the bugs?” she asks, her eyes wide.
“Yes, look, before we start, though, I wanted to say sorry—for everything.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Diomid. We are both adults. We both made choices.”
She speaks curtly, clipping her emotions, and sounds almost businesslike. Ok. Fair enough. She clearly doesn’t want to talk about that.
“I’ve been listening in on the conversations and, basically, there is another auction happening. A human auction. Saturday night.”
“Dammit,” she sighs, scrunching her nose. “And are you going to try and stop it?” she asks, almost pleading.
“I am. Look, I thought about asking my brothers for help. Because they would help me, but then there’s no way I could involve you as well.
And this is… It’s your fight. So I came to you first. But the last thing I want to do is put you in danger or create more trouble between you and your family, so you just say the word, and I will handle this myself.
You can stay out of it, and I’ll just keep you updated. ”
Angel smiles, her eyes lighting up, and my heart flutters at that one beautiful gesture. “We’re in this together, Diomid.”
“Are you sure? You could…”
She reaches across the table and touches my hand, stopping my words in their tracks.
“We’re in this together. I mean it.”
I laugh, a quiet chuckle that ripples inside me, tugging at the whirlwind of emotions I’ve been trying to snuff out over the last few days.
“Angel, there’s something else I should tell you. And maybe it isn’t fair of me to say this, but I guess… I just need to.”
She knots her brows, shifting with anxiety and pulling her hand away from me.
“Ok,” she mutters quietly, her back straightening, as though she’s trying to shield herself against whatever I’m going to tell her.
After taking a deep breath, I don’t feel any more prepared than before, so I just dive into it.
“The other night, when I agreed to marry you…”
“It’s ok, you don’t have to explain anything. You were trying to protect your family. I know it didn’t mean anything, and I don’t expect anything from you, Diomid.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Will you stop talking and just listen?” I say.
This shuts her up, and she stares at me in surprise.
“Angel, that’s the point right there. I didn’t agree to marry you because I was doing it for my family. It had nothing to do with them. I want it. For me. I was fully willing to marry you. No hesitation. Zero. In fact… I really want it.”
Her mouth drops open.
Behind her, I see Timofey walking into the bar with friends. “Shit,” I blurt out. “Tim is here, don’t turn around.”
Angelika’s breathing sharpens, she bites her lip, and stands up slowly. “There’s a back way out, near the bathrooms,” she says.
“Go, I’ll stay and distract him from seeing you if you get too close.”
“Dio…”
“Go, princess. We can talk soon.”
She leans over and kisses my cheek, sending a tidal wave of heat and need through me. I force myself to keep my hands to myself; otherwise, we will get caught, and whatever happens from here on out, I need to do this properly if I ever want a chance with her.
“Go, Angel,” I smile, gesturing for her to leave.
It’s hard not to turn around and watch her slip away, but I keep my eyes focused on my brother. When he spots me, I wave, throwing him a sheepish smile. Timofey wanders over to me. “Drowning your sorrows?” he teases.
“Nothing else left to do,” I shrug.
“We were pretty hard on you the other night. Are you ok?”
“It’s not like I didn’t deserve it, man. I could have done things differently.”
He smiles, nodding, his eyes locked with mine. “We still love you, even when you’re an idiot,” he grins.
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Yeah, I know.”
“You want to join us? We’re just grabbing a drink or two. It’s not going to be a late night, but you look miserable enough to need some company.”
I stand up, picking up my drink, finally stealing a glance behind me. She’s gone. “I could do with some company,” I say, following Timofey to the table where his friends are sitting.