Chapter 20 - Nikita #2
"What the fuck is going on?" Jaroslav and Matvei say at the same time. Jaroslav stands aggressively ready to attack. Valery grabs her husband's hand and pulls Jaroslav back into his seat. "You're going to listen as well. All of you are!" she says loudly, taking control of the room.
Marlen and Simon stare in disbelief between Bardil and my family. Marlen presses his lips together tightly. Stress is traced in the lines of his mouth and eyes.
I push Bardil into a seat and go into the center of the room to stand with Valery and Talia.
Valery addresses their shocked faces.
"Every single one of you is going to stay quiet and listen.
We're tired of this pointless war going on between us.
We're tired of the displaced anger with none of you taking the time to actually talk about it and find a resolution.
You're breaking apart a family with childish fights that could easily be set aside," she lectures them.
"What the hell do you want from us? Are we expected to just forgive the asshole?" Diomid growls angrily, gesturing toward Bardil.
"That isn't helping, Diomid," I snap. "Bardil is a good man.
I'm the one who knows him. I've spent time with him.
I've seen the real him, the one you haven't taken the time to meet.
He's kind and generous and gentle, and yes, he's made mistakes, but we've all made mistakes.
He isn't the man you think he is, and if you could just stop being so blind and single-minded, you would see him the way I do," I explain.
A harsh murmur rumbles through the room. Bardil sneers and tries to stand up.
"Don't you dare," Talia snaps, stepping forward and scolding her brother. "Sit down."
Bardil groans and takes his seat again. His eyes turn to me, heated, angry, filled with disappointment.
Please, please give this a chance. I silently beg.
Talia steps closer to him.
"You're doing the same thing, Bardil. You're making assumptions about who these people are.
You're not taking the time to push past your anger.
If you drop the high walls you've built around yourself to protect yourself from the world, you'll find out that not everyone is out to get you.
If you made mistakes, that's fine, that's ok, but if you don't talk to people and open up to them, then how will they understand you and see the real you past those mistakes? "
"I'm not the one who… " Bardil blurts out.
"Stop!" Talia interrupts him. "I don't want to hear your angry words toward my husband.
Toward his brothers and his sisters. They are my family now, too.
Nikita spoke up for you. She begged them to see the truth about you being a good man, and I'm going to do the same for the people I love.
You have to see that they are good, too.
They are good people, Bardil. I love each of them in their own way, and I want you to be a part of this extended family.
And to come back to your family. Marlen, Simon, and me…
we love you, we miss you. And as soon as you stop pushing everyone away, you'll see that my husband and his brothers are just like us.
They laugh. They take care of their family. They value the same things we value… "
Bardil stands, shaking his head, his fists clenched at his side.
"Did you really think this was a good idea?" He speaks directly to me.
"Bardil… " I murmur, walking toward him.
"Did you really think that this betrayal would go down well? That tricking me by pushing me into a corner would be a good thing?" He's furious. His voice is dark and dangerous. Edged with hurt.
"Bardil, I was trying to help… "
"Help?" he snarls. Bardil shakes his head. He scoffs and closes his eyes for a moment, pressing his fingers against his temple. I rush to his side and wrap my hand around his arm.
He pushes me away.
"Don't touch me. Don't come near me. I thought I could trust you, but apparently I've made the same mistake I have a hundred times in my life."
"You can trust me," I plead.
"I tell you what, little rabbit. You're free. You're free to go and do whatever you want. You're free to leave right now. I can't do this anymore. I can't play your games. I can't be manipulated."
"What? No. This isn't a game!" I blurt out.
A short time ago, being told that I was free to leave would have been exactly what I wanted to hear. I would have leapt at the chance. Grabbing it with both hands.
But that was then. And this is now.
His words slice into my heart like a dagger.
Bardil doesn't seem to notice the pain that etches into my face.
He turns away from me and storms out of the restaurant. I hear someone behind me mutter, Good riddance. When I turn to look at my family and his, my brother holds his hand out and says, "Come on, Nikita. Let's get you home."
"No," I declare, panicked. "I'm not going home with you," I say, then run after Bardil before anyone has a chance to reach me.
"Get back here right now!" Diomid shouts angrily.
"Let her go!" Talia demands.
I hear Valery shout something at Diomid, but I'm too far away to know what she says. At least they'll buy me enough time to follow him. I can't let my brothers take me away from him.
Bardil is in the car, about to get in.
I grab his arm and yank him to face me. I'm so angry and hurt that my expression makes him hesitate.
He opens his mouth to say something, and I punch my fist as hard as I can into his chest. He hardly feels it.
He doesn't even flinch, but the shock of my outburst has him stunned into silence.
I've never been aggressive in anger before, but dammit, this man is pushing me way beyond what my heart can handle.
"Why do you have to be such an asshole!" I shout. "Why do you always have to push people away? People who care about you! People who are fighting for you!"
"My sister will still be my sister when this is all over," he scoffs.
"I'm not only talking about Talia, Bardil. I'm talking about everyone," I groan.
He scoffs.
"Are you serious? You're really that much of an idiot?
" I demand. "Don't you see what you're doing?
People try to reach out to you, they try to make an effort to show you they care, and you put walls up.
Higher and higher every time. You push people away.
You do it so effectively that you don't even see how much you hurt the people around you.
" My voice breaks, and tears spill over my cheeks.
"No one cares, Nikita. So why should I?"
"You're hurting your family, Bardil. Open your eyes… You're hurting me," I murmur through my tears.
Bardil's eyes narrow. His brow furrows, and for the first time, he really pauses to look at me.
His gaze softens, but as he reaches his hand out to touch my face, the world starts to spin.
I gasp, lifting my hand to grab him and steady myself, but my legs are already buckling beneath me.
My vision goes black, and I feel his arms around me.
"Nikita?" His voice is soothing but panicked. "Kita? Can you hear me?"