Chapter 6 Constantine
Constantine
It was almost dark by the time I got home from Palermo.
I didn’t tell Aurelia where I was headed that day, and when she didn’t text me, I assumed she looked up my location and figured it out. I wouldn’t have cared if she’d texted me—she could blow up my phone all she wanted—but I liked the fact that she could just see where I was whenever she wanted.
It was the kind of intimacy I’d never had with anyone before.
I shared my entire life with her, where I was every moment of the day, and I could see where she was, like if she went to Bam Bar on her lunch break to eat a granita by herself.
I gave her debit and credit cards for my bank accounts and added her to all my other accounts, so she could theoretically walk into the bank and cash out all my holdings if she wanted to.
I shared all of myself with her.
Well, except one thing.
This massive, painful depression that cracked my soul in half.
It was on my mind every single day, the loss of purpose, the loss of my identity.
Rocco hadn’t looked at me the same . . .
when I loved him like a brother. I’d never had a high opinion of myself, my entire identity embedded in my service, but now, I hated who I was.
Not because I saved Aurelia—but because I needed to save her.
I let everyone down.
I let myself down.
When I came home, I heard the TV in the other room. I walked into the entryway and through the massive arch that led to the main room with the enormous glass windows that showed the sea view outside.
I saw Aurelia on the couch in one of my oversize T-shirts. Normally, she got to her feet whenever I came home and gave me a big kiss while I grabbed her ass, but she didn’t look at me right away, as if she somehow didn’t hear me enter the room or didn’t notice me when I stepped into her presence.
Her eyes found mine, and for a brief second, they were absolutely lifeless.
But then she blinked, and there was her smile.
“Hey.” Medusa was on the couch beside her, using the ramp I’d bought for her so it was easier for her to get on the couch when I wasn’t home.
Aurelia got to her feet and came over to me, rising on her tiptoes to kiss me.
Something was definitely off. I could feel it, see it, even hear it. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, just tired,” she said quickly as she pulled away. “Medusa and I were just watching TV.”
Medusa released a quiet whine from the couch, wanting me to come to her since she couldn’t get up and run to me like she used to.
“Hey, baby girl.” I moved to her and squatted down so I could pet her and kiss her on the head. When I stood upright and turned back to Aurelia, I caught another glimpse of that dull throb in her eyes, but I didn’t question her again. “Have you eaten dinner? Want to go out?”
“Uh, I’m not really that hungry,” she said. “So how was your day?”
“Sucked, mostly.”
“Oh? What did you do?”
I hesitated as I read her expression, seeing no hint of a lie in the question. “I went to Palermo.” And she didn’t know that? She didn’t look up my location? I had been gone pretty much all day, and she hadn’t been curious about where I was?
“No wonder you’re home so late.” She crossed her arms over her chest, her makeup already off her face like she was ready for bed, even though she normally didn’t remove her makeup until right before bed.
“Did something happen at work?” I didn’t want to interrogate her for information she didn’t want to give, but I knew something was different. I knew it had nothing to do with me because there’d been no conflict between us.
“What?” she asked automatically. “No . . . it was fine.”
“Isabella didn’t come by or something?”
“No,” she said quickly.
“Then what’s wrong?” She was pretty forthcoming with me about her thoughts and feelings. I never really had to wonder what she was thinking, and I loved that about her. But now, she wore a mask I couldn’t penetrate.
“Um . . .” Her eyes frantically flicked back and forth as the panic set in. “It’s pretty clear your sister doesn’t like me, and I’m just having a hard time building a connection with her . . . that’s all.” She gave me a sad smile, then loosened her arms from around her body.
“Don’t worry about her, sweetheart.”
“I know how important your family is to you.”
“You’re my family.” My hands slid into her hair as I tilted her head back to look at me. “Whatever issue my sister has is her business. Let her deal with it, okay?”
Her eyes were locked on mine, and a softness came through, a softness she showed me nearly all the time.
I was glad to see it again. “Anyone who doesn’t like you can fuck right off. Don’t prove yourself. Don’t play nice. That applies to everyone—including Beatrice. You think I give a damn if someone doesn’t like me?”
“No,” she said quietly.
“Then don’t you dare give a damn about her.”
I’d thought we resolved Aurelia’s stress, but the very next morning, she was the same. Quiet and distant, she avoided eye contact a lot of the time, which was completely unlike her. The most obvious reason for the avoidance was to hide a lie, but she had nothing to lie about.
I dropped her off at work, then did my morning workout and showered. Had breakfast, took Medusa out on a walk, and then I sat on the patio under the shade of the umbrella and marinated in my thoughts.
I didn’t know what the fuck to do with myself.
Didn’t know how to stop the pain.
Returning to Rome and defeating Darius was the only way to fix it, but that wasn’t an option.
Even if I could hide Aurelia in a place where he would never find her, her safety wasn’t guaranteed.
Because if I lost the battle, Darius would spend the rest of his life hunting for her. And when he found her . . .
There was nothing I could do. I was exiled from my home, and I’d run like a coward. I was a disgrace to my ancestors. I was a disgrace to the empire.
But I’d rather be a disgrace than lose the woman I loved.
Medusa ran around the yard for a while before she came back to me.
She stood there in her walker and looked up at me, like she had the intuition to feel my thoughts, my sadness.
Her big brown eyes looked into mine as she searched for a solution to my heartache.
Then she came closer to me and rubbed her head against my leg, the closest thing to a hug she could give.
I started to pet the top of her head. “I’m okay, baby girl. If I could do it all over again . . . I wouldn’t change anything.”
I took Aurelia out to dinner, to one of my favorite restaurants, Trattoria Tiramisù. Their family was friends with my family, like pretty much everyone in Taormina, and they had great food.
I ordered a bottle of wine for the table and then looked at the menu.
The waiter poured the glasses of wine, then left us to decide what we wanted.
When I looked up over the menu, I saw Aurelia sitting there, her eyes on a nearby table instead of on her menu. I watched her for a while, noticing the paleness of her cheeks. There was a dullness in her eyes along with an underlying sense of panic.
It’d been this way for a couple days now.
I set the menu aside. “Sweetheart.”
Her eyes flicked back to me.
“Did you lie about my sister?”
“What?” she asked, her eyebrows arching.
“When I noticed you were down, you said it was because my sister didn’t like you. But that was days ago, and you’ve been . . . distant ever since. So, was that actually true?”
“Yes. Not only does your sister not like me, but she talks shit about me at work.”
I loved my sister and thought we were close, but if that was true, it made me wonder if I really knew her at all. “What does she say?”
“I don’t know, but everyone knows she doesn’t like me, so she’s saying something.” Her eyes flicked away again.
“I’ll talk to her.”
“No,” she said quickly. “You’ll just piss her off.”
“You shouldn’t be in a hostile work environment.”
“It’s fine.”
“You don’t have to work there, Aurelia. If it’s causing you this much distress, it’s not worth it.”
“It’s fine.”
“My mother won’t be upset—”
“I said it’s fine.”
I stared at her across the table, seeing the toll this soap opera was taking on her. It was even more idiotic, considering the fact that she had access to more money than everyone on this island combined . . . but she was taking shit from my sister.
I suspected Beatrice had crossed a line and said something to her she shouldn’t have. Maybe played a joke on her. Did something to make her life more difficult at the restaurant. But Aurelia, being the person she was, didn’t want to cause problems between me and my sister.
She opened the menu and tried to sidestep the tension. “So, what’s good here?”
I let the issue slide because there seemed to be no easy solution in sight. “I usually get the sea bass. They cook it in a potato crust. Goes well together.”
“I’ll try that too.”
“Pairs well with the wine too.”
“Wish I could have some, but I had a massive migraine earlier and took about twenty pills.” She rubbed her temple before she fixed her hair. She turned the menu over and looked at the desserts on the back. “The tiramisu must be good since it’s in the name of the restaurant.”
“Never had it, but I’m sure it’s delicious.”
“Well, that’s all I need to hear.” She set the menu aside and looked me in the eye, seeming to be herself again because she smiled at me. “So how was your day?”
I arrived at my mother’s house and knocked on the front door.
It was a big villa, but she opened it right away like she’d been in the entryway, excited for me to get there, peeking through the window every minute to see if my Range Rover was outside.
She greeted me with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, rising on her tiptoes to reach me. “My boy.”
“Hey, Ma.” I kissed her on the cheek and walked with her inside.
“Are you hungry?”