Chapter 1
Chapter
One
Bailey
Two Months Later
I found my oldest sister, Perkins, in the kitchen.
I knew that a lot of people felt like when there were too many women in a family, the family tended to be messy and unsupportive.
I was blessed that my family wasn’t like that.
My mother, Alisha, was a bus driver. She drove public transportation while we were growing up.
That meant long hours away from home where we had to look out for ourselves and each other.
Perkins was the typical bossy and annoying big sister. There was no denying that. She was also approachable, loyal, and would beat the brakes off anybody who ever tried to come for any of us.
Collins was the motivated, level-headed, and career-driven sister. Collins would set goals and not stop until she reached them. She also gave good advice, helped with homework, and liked organization.
Church was the typical baby. She had three older sisters who stayed in her business. She went along to get along. She was coachable, flexible, and obedient. She never gave any of us any problems and respected us stand-ins for our mom.
Then there was me. I wasn’t sure how my sisters would describe me, but to myself I was the domesticated Kingsley sister.
I wanted the fairy-tale. I wanted the husband.
The home. The kids. I wanted to host Christmas and Thanksgiving at my house.
Cook huge meals and have floors so clean you could eat off them.
Unfortunately for me, my dream of a fairy-tale life or marriage never materialized.
Whatever. I was thankful that after the dust settled from Xander asking for a divorce and my daddy beating the hell out of him, that my family didn’t leave me alone in Chicago.
The first month, Church rearranged her life and stayed with me.
Now, Perkins was with me. She’d left her three girls with our mom and her husband, Bayliss, to stay with me in Chicago offering her support and a shoulder to both cry and lean on.
I had to admit that I hadn’t done too much crying over Xander, though.
I was hurt that my marriage crashed and burned.
I was hurt that Xander treated me the way he did, but I was okay with the idea of a separation from him.
I saved my tears for the thoughts of the memories I would never make with my son.
“It’s time.”
Perkins looked up from her phone and made eye contact with me at the sound of my voice. “Time for what, Bailey Boo?”
She’d been treating me with kid gloves since she arrived. I appreciated it because when Perkins didn’t monitor her behavior, she could be annoying.
“It’s been two months. Xander is never gonna file the paperwork to get the divorce going.
I think I should just do it. Waiting on Xander to have me served has me feeling like I’m in limbo.
” I took a deep breath and pushed out the next set of words.
“I was in limbo almost my entire pregnancy, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s triggering. ”
Perkins nodded slowly. “I can see that. Let me look online and see what you need to do.”
“Thank you.” I crossed the room and stood in front of her, then I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze.
“Thank you.” I sat down at the island on the stool next to hers.
“I have brain fog. I don’t have it in me to look up anything, Perk.
Every minute feels like I’m trying to breathe underwater. ”
She gave me the pouty face. “I hate you’re going through this, but we’ll get you straight.”
While she typed away, I rested my head on the countertop. I was so thankful that she was willing to do the leg work. Because while I really was ready to stop waiting on Xander to follow through on his word, I just didn’t have it in me to do the research.
It didn’t take long for Perkins to find the information she needed. The paperwork was available online. She asked me the questions then filled it out for me.
“I love you,” I told her. I was in a funk. Just the thought of completing the paperwork made me feel overwhelmed. I was thankful that she was willing to do what I couldn’t.
“Do you feel up to getting dressed and taking this stuff down to the courthouse?” she asked me when we were finished.
I didn’t feel up to it, but the truth of the matter was that time was winding down.
My company, Chicago Transit Works, where I worked as a supervisor in the customer service department, had given me twelve weeks off.
That time was winding down. Soon, Perkins would need to return to her daughters and her life in Jackson Falls.
Soon, I would need to return to my life and my job.
It was time for me to start picking up the pieces and gluing them back together regardless of the fact that I didn’t feel like I had the desire or the energy to do so. “Yeah, give me about an hour.”
A week after I filed the papers, Xander showed up at my mother’s house.
Once he told me that he was starting a new family with his new girl and that he wanted a divorce, I moved out of the house we shared and into my mother’s home.
When she moved to Jackson Falls to pursue a relationship with Bayliss, she kept her home in Chicago.
At the time, Perkins and her girls lived there.
Once Perkins relocated, the house stayed empty unless one of them was visiting.
Whenever they came back to Chicago, they always had a place to stay.
I was so glad she never sold the house. It gave me a place to stay when I needed to get away from both Xander and the bad memories associated with the ordeal of carrying then losing my son.
I hadn’t seen Xander since the day of the memorial. To say that I was shocked to see him standing on my mother’s front porch would have been the understatement of the year. The fact that he was mugging me when I opened the door for him just added to my confusion.
“Hey.” I looked up at him as I stood between the screen and the pink front door my mother had chosen to give the house a cheery pop. “What’s up?”
“Why the fuck would you have me served with divorce papers?”
I instantly recoiled. For the last eight weeks or so, I’d been in a bubble of warmth.
My sisters took care of me, treated me gently, and provided a safe space for me to deal with my grief.
Him yelling at me in my extra sensitive state was a shock to my system.
And there was also the fact that I didn’t know why he was angry.
He was the one who demanded the divorce. “What?”
“You heard me, Bailey. When I got home from work today, there was some random white man at the house asking if I was Xander Eckhart. When I told him yeah, he served me with divorce papers. Why’re you playin’ with me?”
“What?” It wasn’t that I didn’t hear what he was saying. I heard him. The fog in my brain was causing me to have a hard time processing and following the conversation. “You asked for a divorce.”
“Right. I asked for a divorce.” He thumped himself in the chest. “I asked. So why would you file the papers?” He sucked his teeth.
“The shit you’re supposed to do, like grow a healthy fucking baby, you can’t do that.
But you can run down to the courthouse and file divorce papers. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What?” I knew I sounded like a broken record, but what else was there for me to say? I was confused.
Thankfully, Perkins appeared in the doorway. She pushed past me and stepped out onto the front porch. “Bailey, you don’t have to answer his questions. Go in the house, boo.”
I wanted to do just that. I wanted to walk away and put the conversation and Xander’s anger behind me.
But there was no way I could leave my sister out on the porch alone with him.
We were raised to stick together and to look out for each other.
Just like she wouldn’t let Xander talk crazy to me, I wouldn’t leave her to fend for herself when he was acting all unpredictably.
“Why the hell are you yelling at my sister? Get the fuck off my mama’s front porch with your wack ass.”
“Make me.”
“I don’t have to make you, stupid. The police will make you.”
I stepped out onto the porch with them. I didn’t appreciate Xander’s behavior, but I also wasn’t going to have the police called on him unless it was absolutely necessary. “Just go, Xander.”
Before he could decide whether to go or to keep arguing with us, the loud cocking of a shot gun rang out.
On the porch right next to ours stood our neighbor, Mr. Wallace, his double barreled shot gun pointed toward our porch.
“Son, I heard Perkins tell you to leave. It’s in your best interest to listen to her and get your young ass on.
Ms. Alisha wouldn’t appreciate you outside her house making a spectacle. ”
If looks could kill, both Mr. Wallace and I would’ve been headed to the morgue. Xander was shooting fire from his eyes. He was pissed and it was obvious. “Xander,” I began before he cut me off with an epithet.
“Bitch, fuck you.” He bounded down the stairs.
“Let him go,” Perkins told me before turning to Mr. Wallace. “Thanks, Mr. Wallace.”
I walked away while Mr. Wallace and Perkins exchanged pleasantries. In the house, I found my phone nestled inside my purse. I pulled it out and quickly dialed Xander’s number.
I wasn’t sure if I expected him to answer or not. I wasn’t even sure what I planned to say. All I knew was that I didn’t like the way things went down.
“What?” He answered his phone with his attitude still on one hundred.
“Xander, I’m trying to figure out what’s going on. Why were you on my mama’s porch showing your ass?”
“Why you let your bitch ass neighbor pull a gun on me?”
I huffed out a sigh. “I didn’t let him do that. How was I supposed to know he was gonna do that?”
“If you were at home, where you’re supposed to be, I wouldn’t even have been at your mom’s crib.”
“This is my home.”